The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Fostering Has Sparked My Desire to Be a Dad
Date: February 22, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Featured Caller: Faustino

Episode Overview

In this emotionally resonant episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaks with Faustino, a 38-year-old man grappling with the desire to become a biological father after years in a committed relationship and recent experiences fostering children. The conversation dives deep into themes of parenthood, fostering, the significance of biological ties, and weighing heart-driven decisions against future uncertainties. Dr. Laura offers her distinctive direct advice, challenging common assumptions about parenthood and fulfillment.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Faustino’s Background and Family Situation

• Faustino has been in a relationship with a woman for six and a half years.
• His partner has three children (now ages 15, 18, and 20); they've also begun fostering other children.
• Initially, Faustino had no children of his own; they recently fostered three children in addition to having an 11-year-old foster child.

  "A couple months ago we came into a situation where we ended up fostering three more children to get them out of a really bad situation… they’ve improved quite a bit. Like, they weren’t very good in school, they were having really bad attendance, their grades are really low, lots of troubles… and in about three months, like, we were able to turn that around and it feels very satisfying to be able to do that." — Faustino (03:26)

2. Impact of Fostering on Faustino’s Desire to Be a Father

• Fostering has inspired Faustino, causing him to yearn for a biological child.
• He recognizes how rewarding caring for foster kids has been but feels a specific kind of loss for not having his own child.

  "...seeing how I've been able to successfully raise these children… I would like to have my own child, seeing how I’ve been able to successfully raise these children." — Faustino (04:50)

3. Struggles and Attempts at Having a Child

• The couple previously tried IVF, which failed and strained their relationship.
• Dr. Laura challenges Faustino’s focus on biology:

  "I’m not impressed with your DNA. I’m more impressed with your heart in taking in these foster kids and maybe even adopting some of them. And I think that would make you a better father than getting some girl pregnant with half your DNA..." — Dr. Laura (06:19)

4. Decision-Making: Pursuing Biology vs. Embracing the Family Present

• Faustino is wrestling with whether his longing for a biological child should dictate his future choices or if he should focus on the family life he currently has through fostering and his partner's children.
• Dr. Laura emphasizes prioritizing current relationships over hypothetical futures:

  "You have to decide if that feeling is important enough to lose her and, and all these kids. So that’s a decision." — Dr. Laura (07:11)

5. The Nature of Feelings vs. Decisions

• Dr. Laura distinguishes between feelings (not inherently right or wrong) and the choices stemming from them.
• She warns against making major life decisions based on uncertainties far down the road:

  “It is unwise to make decisions on today based upon what you fantasize you would like in the distant tomorrows. We don’t even know that you’re going to live to 50... but we know there are children who adore you right now.” — Dr. Laura (11:11)

6. Fears About the Future

• Faustino expresses concern that without adoption, the foster children could leave, leaving him again without any children in his life.

  "My fear is like I just won’t have any children later on to enjoy life with. Like I would. I’m not sure how long these foster children are going to stay." — Faustino (10:54)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Fostering’s Rewards:

  “…in about three months, like, we were able to turn that around and it feels very satisfying… they’re a lot happier kids. Like, it so warms your heart. I don’t even know the word for it...” — Faustino (03:26)

• On the Value of Parenthood Beyond DNA:

  “When people adopt children, they don’t think like you do. They think this is my kid because my heart, love, effort, commitment is in this kid.” — Dr. Laura (06:34)

• On Life Choices and Uncertainties:

  “There’s no struggle here. I think it is unwise to make decisions on today based upon what you fantasize you would like in the distant tomorrows.” — Dr. Laura (11:11)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:46] — Faustino introduces his family background and their recent fostering arrangement.
• [03:26] — Faustino describes the positive changes in the foster children and his feelings about parenting.
• [04:50] — Faustino reveals that fostering has inspired a deeper desire to be a father.
• [06:19] — Dr. Laura challenges the importance of biological ties in parenting.
• [07:11] — Dr. Laura explains the difference between feelings and decisions regarding family choices.
• [10:54] — Faustino discusses his fear about the uncertainty of fostering and not having children in the future.
• [11:11] — Dr. Laura’s closing advice about living in the now versus fixating on uncertain futures.

Takeaway

This episode gently but firmly explores the meaning of fatherhood, the value of love and devotion over biology, and the importance of purposefully choosing the life you have instead of chasing unguaranteed dreams. Dr. Laura’s advice speaks directly to anyone struggling with similar crossroads about family, fulfillment, and the weight of "what if"s—urging listeners to care for what is present and real, rather than risking everything for something that may never come.

For more episodes or to contact Dr. Laura, visit DrLaura.com or tune in on your favorite podcast platform.