
Hannah feels lonely and isolated after dropping everything to move across the country for her boyfriend and his two kids. Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Hannah, welcome to the program.
Hannah
Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.
Dr. Laura
Thank you. What can I help you with?
Hannah
So, initially I called about advice from. For. I moved. I'm originally from Ohio and I moved down to Florida. I am dating someone. He has.
Dr. Laura
I'm sorry, why did you move to Florida? What was the point of the move?
Hannah
He. He has his kids that live down here. My boyfriend does.
Dr. Laura
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How old are you?
Hannah
I'm 30.
Dr. Laura
And how old is he?
Hannah
He will be 38 this year.
Dr. Laura
And how many kids does he have?
Hannah
Two. They are four and five.
Dr. Laura
Are they from the same woman? Yes. And why isn't he with the mother?
Hannah
Just their own personal complications. But my advice that I was seeking was I made the move to better our relationship and his relationship with the kids. And. And since I've been down here, I have. I've felt super isolated and haven't.
Dr. Laura
Go home. Go home. Don't interfere with their issues and their family. You're not the mother. You're two kids. Four. You're a fifth wheel. Please go home. This is a mistake. Didn't you hear the prior call? Come on. He's not really available. He's got two kids to raise and they still have a mother. And you're an interloper. For all I know, he just wants a nanny there for free. Good gracious, woman. What were you doing? Did you have a job? Were you educated? Did you have family? Did you have friends? What did you give up to follow this guy who, with two kids, what did you give up to do this foolish thing? Tell me, what did you give up? Your family, your friends, your work, your education, your neighborhood? Tell me what you gave up to traipse after this guy with two kids.
Hannah
Yeah.
Dr. Laura
Imagine six years from now, whether he married you or not. He knocked you up, and now you have kids and he has to leave you at the dinner table because his other two kids have some kind of event or some problem or something's happened and you're sitting there going, I feel so isolated. My kid with him should be above all other kids. I mean, just start thinking the bigger picture surrounding it. And since you would not be their mother, you would not really have authority. And then your kid is watching. You have no authority over those kids. And telling your kid what your kid should not do. You got to think the bigger picture. Do you really want to start life out in a mess?
Hannah
No.
Dr. Laura
Go home, please. You made a mistake. Go home. Go home. Please, I'm begging you. Go home. Find a nice man with no history of issues and a bunch of kids, please.
Hannah
Yeah, well, that's why I gave you a call. My dad actually suggested that I listened to your podcast, and he's the one who inspired me to give you a reach out. Because it's different coming from someone else.
Dr. Laura
You don't want your life to be this complicated when you haven't even started it. His first allegiance is to those kids, not you.
Hannah
Right?
Dr. Laura
And then if you two start having kids, his kids are going to feel very isolated and they're going to not like you very much, and they're going to make your life a holy hell. This is typical. So why don't we avoid this? You had your little excitement. Go home. Let him not talk you out of it.
Hannah
Well, I appreciate your kindness.
Dr. Laura
Call your mom. Tell her you're on your way. And if anybody says, well, what happened? Just say, you know, I rethought the bigger picture and decided against it. That's all you have to say? That says it without any embarrassing, uncomfortable details. I thought about it.
Hannah
Yeah.
Dr. Laura
Yeah. In a bigger way, and realized, yeah, no, yeah, you're 30. This is a good time to fix a mistake and go home.
Hannah
Well, I.
Dr. Laura
And when you get there, call me. When you get there, call me back. Wait a day or so, and then call me back. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlaura program.
Podcast Information:
In the episode titled “Hannah Isn't Happy as a Shack-up Honey,” Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from a listener named Hannah. The episode delves into the complexities of personal relationships, accountability, and the emotional ramifications of decisions that intertwine personal life with familial responsibilities.
Timestamp [00:14] Hannah begins the conversation by expressing her gratitude for Dr. Laura’s time:
“Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.” ([00:14])
She outlines her situation succinctly:
“I moved... I moved down to Florida. I am dating someone. He has his kids that live down here.” ([00:23])
Key points from Hannah’s explanation:
However, Hannah reveals feelings of isolation post-move:
“Since I’ve been down here, I have felt super isolated and haven't...” ([00:47])
She reaches out for advice, seeking guidance on navigating her newfound loneliness and the challenges of being in a blended family dynamic.
Upon hearing Hannah’s concerns, Dr. Laura does not hesitate to provide a candid and firm response.
Initial Reaction: Dr. Laura immediately questions the rationale behind Hannah’s decisions:
“How old are you?” ([00:54])
Upon learning Hannah is 30 and her boyfriend is 38 with two young children, her response becomes more direct:
“Go home. Go home. Don’t interfere with their issues and their family. You’re not the mother...” ([01:50])
Critical Analysis: Dr. Laura emphasizes the potential long-term consequences of Hannah’s move:
“Imagine six years from now, whether he married you or not. He knocked you up, and now you have kids...” ([03:02])
Key points in Dr. Laura’s critique:
“What did you give up to traipse after this guy with two kids?” ([03:02])
Strong Advisement: Dr. Laura is unequivocal in her advice:
“Go home, please. You made a mistake. Go home.” ([05:20])
She urges Hannah to prioritize her well-being and reconsider the complexities of blending into an existing family structure.
Hannah’s Justification: Hannah shares that her father recommended Dr. Laura’s podcast, seeking an external perspective:
“My dad actually suggested that I listened to your podcast...” ([04:20])
Dr. Laura’s Continued Counsel: Reiterating her stance, Dr. Laura highlights the challenges of becoming a step-parent:
“His first allegiance is to those kids, not you.” ([04:40]) “You're sitting there going, I feel so isolated...” ([03:02])
She advises practical steps for Hannah to rectify her situation:
“Call your mom. Tell her you're on your way.” ([05:25])
Dr. Laura suggests a respectful and straightforward explanation to avoid discomfort:
“I rethought the bigger picture and decided against it.” ([05:25])
She also provides reassurance and an open channel for future support:
“And when you get there, call me.” ([05:50])
In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delivers a no-nonsense and ethically grounded response to Hannah’s predicament. Her advice underscores the importance of personal responsibility, the potential pitfalls of blending into an existing family dynamic, and the necessity of prioritizing one’s own well-being over romantic entanglements.
Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura on Authority:
“You have no authority over those kids.” ([03:50])
On Future Regret:
“What you gave up to traipse after this guy with two kids.” ([03:02])
Final Advice:
“Go home. Please, I'm begging you. Go home.” ([05:20])
Key Insights:
Through Hannah’s story, Dr. Laura emphasizes the value of foresight, ethical responsibility, and the courage to make difficult decisions for the sake of long-term well-being.
Connect with Dr. Laura: For more insights and support, visit DrLaura.com, or follow her on Facebook and Instagram.