Holding It Together While He Chases His Dream

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Holding It Together While He Chases His Dream

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Kaylee
Date: May 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode focuses on the emotional and practical challenges of supporting a spouse chasing demanding career goals—especially when parenting several young children. Kaylee, a mother of four, calls in to discuss her exhaustion and feelings of burnout while her husband pursues surgical training. Dr. Laura offers her signature blend of no-nonsense reasoning, compassion, and actionable advice to help Kaylee regain balance at home.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kaylee’s Situation: Overwhelmed Partnership

• Kaylee’s husband has been in school for years (initially as a nurse, then nurse practitioner, followed by a surgical fellowship).
• Family Structure: They have four sons aged seven and under. Her husband has juggled full-time work and demanding educational commitments.
• Kaylee’s Role: She has carried the bulk of parenting and household responsibilities, often solo due to his schedule.
• Emotional State: Kaylee feels she has “held it together by the seams” but is reaching her breaking point. She’s concerned about slipping into resentment.

Quote:

“I just feel like I’ve been, like, holding things together by the seams.”
— Kaylee (04:00)

2. Decisions and Consequences

• Dr. Laura asks why Kaylee chose to have children while her husband was in school. Kaylee explains they already had two, another arrived after boards, and one was unplanned. She didn't anticipate the additional surgical fellowship.
• Reflection: Kaylee acknowledges, “Hindsight's…” and admits they overestimated what they could handle at once.

Dr. Laura’s challenge:

“Woman to woman, what made you have four kids with a guy who’s in school?”
(03:00)

3. Articulating Needs and Desires

• Kaylee wants:

  • To reconnect with her husband (“just like my husband back”).
  • Help with the kids—acknowledges limited family support.
  • For her husband to leave the night shift for more presence at home.
  • Relief from comparisons to other mothers with more visible support.

• Dr. Laura pushes for specifics:

  • Tells Kaylee abstract frustrations won’t help; she must identify concrete changes or support mechanisms (e.g., hiring help, recruiting extended family).

Key moment:

“I would like him to get off night shift...so I can like, see him and have some help.”
— Kaylee (05:40)

4. Dr. Laura’s Straightforward Solutions

• Financial reality check: If the ER shift pays well, use the extra income to ease Kaylee’s burden during this final credentialing phase.
• Action Plan: Hire help for cleaning, cooking, or childcare—just for a few months—to prevent burnout and preserve family well-being.

Quote:

“If he’s making good money, you can afford to bring some help into the house...You take some of that income and you get help.”
— Dr. Laura (06:20)

5. Mindset, Guilt, and Perfectionism

• Kaylee struggles with internal guilt about not doing “enough” or hiring help.
• Dr. Laura reassures her that needing help isn’t failure, and her perfectionistic standards are unrealistic.
• Normalizing Burnout: Both Dr. Laura and Kaylee agree that no one is a failure for feeling overwhelmed at times.

Memorable Exchange:

Kaylee: “That’s not a failure on my end.”
Dr. Laura: “Now, saying something stupid is a failure. But no, that’s not a failure. That’s real life. And people can only do what they can do. And we all burnout at some point...”
(09:05–09:16)

6. Looking Ahead

• Dr. Laura encourages Kaylee to “smile again” and temporarily relieve herself of some duties.
• There’s hope: This phase is almost over, and her husband will soon be fully credentialed, hopefully returning to more family time and normalcy.

Quote:

“You OD’d it. But you know, it’ll be over and then he’ll be doing the surgery and you’ll have normal lives, hopefully.”
— Dr. Laura (10:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Burnout & Reality:

  “You were young and over ambitious about being a good wife. Literally.” — Dr. Laura (09:54)

• On Accepting Help:

  “That’s a little bit crazy...It’s just not realistic. Like, I just can’t.”
  — Dr. Laura and Kaylee (10:44–10:54)

• Final Reassurance:

  “So get off your back. Get some help. Smile again.”
  — Dr. Laura (10:57)

• Sign-off:

  “Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I really appreciate it.”
  — Kaylee (11:02)

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Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Notes | |-----------|----------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 01:36 | Caller Introduction | Kaylee explains her situation and her husband's career. | | 03:00 | Dr. Laura Challenges Kaylee | Direct questioning about family planning decisions. | | 04:00 | Kaylee Expresses Burnout | Emotional vulnerability about doing it all alone. | | 05:40 | Concrete Solutions Discussion | Kaylee wishes for more support and Dr. Laura pushes for specifics. | | 06:20 | Dr. Laura’s Advice | Suggests hiring help, using ER income for relief. | | 09:13 | Addressing Feelings of Failure | Dr. Laura reframes feelings about getting assistance. | | 10:07 | Looking to the Future | Reminds Kaylee this phase will pass. | | 11:02 | Closing Reassurance | Dr. Laura’s pep talk and thanks from Kaylee. |

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Episode Takeaways

• It’s normal to reach a breaking point when balancing kids, marriage, and a spouse’s demanding career path.
• Emotional burnout isn’t personal failure, but a reality of exceeding one’s limits.
• When possible, use available resources for practical support—especially during temporary but intense family seasons.
• Clear communication about concrete needs is key. Vague frustrations need actionable plans.

Overall Tone:
Firm, compassionate, and pragmatic—Dr. Laura mixes tough love with empathy to empower her caller, encouraging grace and real-world solutions.

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Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Kaylee]

That is one fresh carrot straight out of the box fridge. Uh, what was that? You're in a boss. Uh, I'm the feeling you get like a proto space fridge. Can I just. You're in the fridge, baby. Grab some more carrots. Help yourself. Carrots. The more you bosh, the more you feel like a bosh.

[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day, brought to you by my new sponsor, Angel. Angel is a streaming platform built around stories that uplift stories about courage and sacrifice and faith and family. If you've been looking for entertainment that reflects your values, check out Angel. Go to angel. Com drlora Entertainment you can feel good about. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Kaylee, welcome to the program.

[Kaylee]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. How can I help?

[Kaylee]

So my husband has been in school. We have four boys that are seven and under. He's been in school for three those years and then decided to do a surgical training on top of it for another two years.

[Dr. Laura]

Who's earning the money to support the family?

[Kaylee]

He's working also. He's working full time.

[Dr. Laura]

How does he work and go to med school? Tell me how that's done.

[Kaylee]

He's a nurse practitioner, so he was working as a night nurse in the emergency room while also going to school to be a nurse practitioner and then got his path boards, did that and then also got recruited to do surgeries, which he loves to be a surgical np, which required another two years of training. So he's done with that. And I told him like when we started, I was like, don't feel bad. Like he was the director of nursing before and he was just like, he just hated it. And I was like, do what you want. I will take being a husband off your plate for the next, like, focus because you're working full time and you're going to school. Like, it's a lot. Don't worry about it. I got this and it's just been, I feel like I don't have it anymore. Oh, my God.

[Dr. Laura]

Woman to woman, what made you have four kids with a guy who's in school?

[Kaylee]

We had already had two when he was in school, and then the other two were. One when he had just finished boards, and then one was an accident. One was right when he was just done. And I didn't. We didn't know he was going to do surgery. We were like, oh, he's done. Yay. And then they were like, do you want to do the surgical fellowship? And he said, yes. So. Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So what. What would you like?

[Kaylee]

Hindsight's.

[Dr. Laura]

What would you like him to do? What would you like to do? What are your thoughts? What are your plans?

[Kaylee]

I would just like, for me, I would like kind of my husband back. He's. He's like, in a space where he. Since he's getting credentialed, he's only working two days a week now, and we're kind of seeing more of each other, and I'm. I don't. I'm realizing that I'm trying not to be a bitchy housewife, in your words. I'm like. I just feel like I've been, like, holding things together by the seams.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, in all fairness, that's what you told him you were willing to do.

[Narrator/Announcer]

100%.

[Dr. Laura]

It would seem you're doing a good job at it. I know things can feel old.

[Kaylee]

I don't feel like it right now.

[Dr. Laura]

You're seeing him more, so why is this the time that you're complaining?

[Kaylee]

Yeah, I just feel burned out, I think. Yeah. And I know he's burned out, too, and he's just like, we. Yeah. Yeah. I. I don't know. I just feel like, yeah, I have a. This is not. This is completely selfish of me, but I just look around and I'm like, oh, my gosh, all these moms have so much help, and they're doing, like, their husbands are home and they're doing things, and it's like. And I think just, like, the comparison of it, of just being like, I've done every single bedtime by myself for years, you know, like, all of the things where it's like, right, I'm just, like, done, you know? And I. I don't want to have resentment in that area.

[Dr. Laura]

So what is it you think would make it better for you? What's your idea?

[Kaylee]

I think it would be twofold. Like, I just would like to feel heard by my husband, but I feel like that's really hard because.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, that's. That's not something I can work with. You have to tell me something specifically. He quits school, he doesn't go for the surgery. You're going to have to be concrete. You hire an au pair, you get your mother in the house all the time to help you with the kids. Something concrete. So tell me what your best plan would be.

[Kaylee]

I would like him to get off night shift in the emergency room and then so I could. So I can like, see him and have some help. We don't have, like, a lot of family help. That would be okay. That would be ideal.

[Dr. Laura]

Let's look at that. That's how he's earning money. So where would the money come from? Have any other ideas about that?

[Kaylee]

I would just like him to have a different job. That's the thing. That's where I come back, where I'm like, he's making so much in the ER right now while he's getting credentialed for surgery. I don't. Just tell me I have to stick it out for a couple more months. Doctor for us.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, slow down, Kaylee. If he's making good money, you can afford to bring some help into the house.

[Kaylee]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So these next three months, we could take a big burden off your back. You take some of that income and you get help. You take care of the kids. Somebody else cleans and cooks until this is over.

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[Kaylee]

Oh, that's not a failure.

[Dr. Laura]

What did you just say?

[Kaylee]

That's not a failure on my end.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, saying something stupid is a failure. But no, that's not a failure. That's real life. And people can only do what they can do. And we all burnout at some point when we're overwhelmed and we're not getting fed enough. If you had called me earlier on when all this started, I could have guided you both a little differently. But you were. Oh, that's fine. Whatever you want to do, honey. I'll just keep cranking out babies. You just do whatever you need to do. I'll never see you. But I have a photograph. It's all right.

[Kaylee]

Oh, my gosh, so true.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, so you were a bit over. Well, you were young and over ambitious about being a good wife. Literally.

[Kaylee]

No, literally. I feel like my job, like, tripled. Just tripled overnight.

[Dr. Laura]

You OD'd it. But you know, it'll be over and then he'll be doing the surgery and you'll have normal lives, hopefully.

[Kaylee]

Amen. That's the plan.

[Dr. Laura]

So take some money, get some help cooking, cleaning.

[Kaylee]

No. Cooking.

[Dr. Laura]

No, honey. I would tell you, I would say you're a loser and a failure and I hate you. Hang up.

[Kaylee]

I don't know why it feels like that, but I can do it.

[Dr. Laura]

Because you were brought up and have the mindset that you have to do 3042% or you're useless.

[Kaylee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, that's a little bit crazy.

[Kaylee]

I'm just learning. It's just not realistic. Like, I just can't. No,

[Dr. Laura]

it's not realistic, dear.

[Kaylee]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

So get off your back. Get some help. Smile again.

[Kaylee]

Smile again. Be happy. Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I really appreciate. I really appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. Call me anytime. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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