How Can I Enjoy My Empty Nest?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "How Can I Enjoy My Empty Nest?"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode Release Date: July 8, 2025

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Introduction to Jennifer's Situation

In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Jennifer, a 53-year-old single mother, reaches out to seek advice as she transitions into an empty nest. With her son about to finish college and her daughter graduating high school, Jennifer is contemplating embarking on a long-held dream—to hike the Appalachian Trail.

Jennifer shares:

"I'm 53. I'm a single mom. I've been single or divorced for the last... Oh gosh, it's been forever. But my kids are... I have a son who's 19 and my daughter's gonna be 18 next month."
(00:19)

Desire to Hike the Appalachian Trail

Jennifer elaborates on her aspiration to hike the Appalachian Trail, viewing her empty nest as the perfect opportunity to pursue this goal. She references her past experience hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2001 and her previous plans to hike the Appalachian Trail in 2002, which were derailed due to dental work.

Jennifer explains:

"I actually hiked the Pacific crest trail in 2001 and I was supposed to hike the Appalachian Trail in 2002 with a friend, but I needed some dental work and those plans fell through for me."
(01:24)

Dr. Laura Questions Physical Readiness

Dr. Laura promptly addresses concerns about Jennifer's physical readiness for such an endeavor. She emphasizes the importance of medical clearance and physical conditioning before undertaking a demanding hike.

Dr. Laura asserts:

"Do you have a doctor who can do a total physical and see how flexible you are, how strong your legs are, et cetera, et cetera, that it would be a wise thing for you to do?"
(01:39)

Jennifer reassures Dr. Laura of her physical fitness, stating she has no health issues and leads an active lifestyle.

Jennifer responds:

"Yes, I'm very. I don't have any health issues at all. I'm very, very active."
(01:56)

Logistical Challenges: Childcare Arrangements

The conversation shifts to the practical aspects of Jennifer's plan, specifically regarding childcare. Dr. Laura probes whether Jennifer has a support system in place to look after her adult children during her absence.

Dr. Laura probes:

"Can you get somebody to babysit while you take the hike? How's that?"
(03:00)

Jennifer explains the complexities of her custody arrangement and the age of her children, making it clear that traditional babysitting isn't feasible.

Jennifer explains:

"Well, I split. So for the last 10 or so years, I've split 50, 50 time with my custody, with my ex-husband and actually in the last year or so."
(02:17)
"No, there's nobody. That means. But my son's 19 and my daughter's 18."
(03:05)

Dr. Laura's Candid Advice

Dr. Laura becomes increasingly direct, expressing skepticism about Jennifer's ability to manage the hike alone and urging her to reconsider her plans.

Dr. Laura candidly states:

"That was a yes. No again. How are you going to do this hike by yourself? You can't stop talking. You're going to be alone. I don't know how you're going to survive this."
(03:14 - 03:45)

She advises Jennifer that her adult children need to develop independence and that her constant presence may be hindering their growth.

Dr. Laura emphasizes:

"Kids need you not to spend your time thinking they need you because it makes them feel incompetent and scared and anxious if their mommy believes they can't rely on themselves and have somebody to call in a problem."
(04:12)

Conclusion

Despite the blunt nature of Dr. Laura's advice, Jennifer appreciates the honesty and contemplates the impact of her decisions on her children's independence. The episode underscores the delicate balance parents must navigate between supporting their children and fostering their autonomy, especially during significant life transitions.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura:
  "Do you have a doctor who can do a total physical and see how flexible you are, how strong your legs are..." (01:39)
  "Kids need you not to spend your time thinking they need you..." (04:12)

• Jennifer:
  "I'm 53. I'm a single mom..." (00:19)
  "I actually hiked the Pacific crest trail in 2001..." (01:24)

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This episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day" provides listeners with a candid exploration of the challenges faced by parents transitioning to an empty nest and the importance of fostering independence in adult children.

Transcript

[A]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jennifer, welcome to the program.

[B]

Hi, Dr. Laura. So, so happy to talk to you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I'm 53. I'm a single mom. I've been single or divorced for the last. Oh gosh, it's been forever. But my kids are. I have a son who's 19 and my daughter's gonna be 18 next month. My son just finished his first year of school. He went to Cal Poly Pomona, and he's home for the summer. My daughter just graduated high school and she's going off to Chico State in August. So I'm officially an empty nester. And here's my dilemma. This is what I've been feeling like really conflicted over is I've been dreaming for years of hik Appalachian Trail. And I figured, well, I'm going to be an empty nester. You know, this is like the perfect time to go and hike since I'm getting older and.

[A]

How old are you?

[B]

I'm 53. You're going to be 54 next month.

[A]

What? And in what way are you physically fit enough to do that?

[B]

I'm sorry, what's the question?

[A]

In what way have you determined you are physically fit enough to do that?

[B]

Oh, okay, yes. I actually hiked the Pacific crest trail in 2001 and I was supposed to hike the Appalachian Trail in 2002 with a friend, but I needed some dental work and those plans fell through for me.

[A]

She went, you're not answering my question. Do you have a doctor who can do total physical and see how flexible you are, how strong your legs are, et cetera, et cetera, that it would be a wise thing for you to do? I'm thinking about your well being first.

[B]

Mm, yes, I'm very. I don't have any health issues at all. I'm very, very active.

[A]

Good, then get somebody. Do you have a responsible brother, sister, somebody older than your kids to come and be at the house because your son's there and to be around while you do the hike?

[B]

Well, I split. So for the last 10 or so years, I've split 50, 50 time with my custody, with my ex husband and actually in the last year or so.

[A]

Jennifer, can he come and take care of the kids and be responsible while you're on the hike, yes or no?

[B]

Well, the kids go to their dad's. They prefer going to their dad's because.

[A]

He has like you know, it would be very nice if when I asked for a yes or a no, I actually got one of those. I would appreciate it. Can you get somebody to babysit while you take the hike? How's that?

[B]

No, there's nobody. That means. But my son's 19 and my daughter's 18.

[A]

Okay. I must not be doing this right. Is there somebody they could call? Like their father the whole time you're hiking?

[B]

That's what I was saying. Yeah. He lives like a mile down the road and they. Shh, shh.

[A]

That was a yes. No again. How are you going to do this hike by yourself? You can't stop talking. You're going to be alone. I don't know how you're going to survive this. You don't know when to shut up. All right, woman, go take your freaking hike. If you think you're strong enough to carry a 10,000 pound bag on your back like a Navy Seal, go for it.

[B]

Well, I appreciate that. So you don't think, like, I'm abandoning my. I mean, even though they're not really like, little kids anymore, I still, like, spend as much time, like, now. Okay, Shh.

[A]

They've had enough of you. They've had you for 19 years. They need a break from you, dear. They need you not to think they need you not to spend your time thinking they need you.

[B]

Thanks. I needed to hear that. Good.

[A]

Now don't break a leg.

[B]

Thanks. I'll do my best.

[A]

It'll piss me off now that I told you to go do it. If you give me a call and I broke a leg, I'm going to feel responsible.

[B]

I'll be fine, I'm sure. Thank you.

[A]

I wish I could do it with you, but I could only do it if you carried my bag on your back, too.

[B]

Yeah, that's the. No, not happening.

[A]

Can we take a burrow with us? I could do it with a burrow.

[B]

How about you come with me and have a little goat to carry your pack? That would be awesome.

[A]

That's it. I could do that. That I could do. Okay, but you have to do all the cooking. I'll clean, but you have to do all the cooking. My number, 1-800-375-2872. That was a good line. That was a good line I gave you. Kids need you not to spend your time thinking they need you because it makes them feel incompetent and scared and anxious if their mommy believes they can't rely on themselves and have somebody to call in a problem. That was good. I like that. Somebody write that down. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.