The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: How to Destroy the Holidays
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: December 12, 2025
Episode Overview
In this witty and tongue-in-cheek episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger lays out a satirical guide on "how to destroy the holidays". Through sarcasm, anecdotes, and her signature directness, Dr. Laura illustrates the pitfalls that turn holiday celebrations into sources of stress and conflict. The deeper message: avoid these self-defeating habits in favor of enjoyment, connection, and family togetherness.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Materialism Trap ([03:10])
- Dr. Laura kick-starts her list of "holiday-destroying" behaviors:
- Obsessing over material details — the tree's size, the number of ornaments and gifts, who sent or didn’t send presents.
- Quote:
“Focus as much attention as possible on material things. Yes. Because what really matters most is the size of the tree, how many ornaments are on it, who put the ornaments on it, the number of presents underneath it, who sent a present, who didn’t send a present.” (Dr. Laura, 03:20)
- She drives home that misplaced focus on materialism misses the true point of the holidays.
2. Holiday Household Drama ([03:40])
- Reference to a caller—an on-the-road truck driver upset that the house wasn't clean enough to put up the tree.
- Dr. Laura suggests (with a bit of seriousness) that instead of sulking, people should assign cleaning tasks collaboratively and turn it into a positive, family-inclusive event.
- Quote:
"Make a list with the kids, depending upon their age, should be responsible for in cleaning, what your wife should be responsible for in cleaning and what you should be responsible for in cleaning... Or you can be an ass. I think he picked the former, not the latter." (Dr. Laura, 04:05)
- Insight: Taking a constructive approach to chores can transform a potential conflict into a shared accomplishment.
3. Financial Overload ([04:45])
- Dr. Laura warns about overspending:
- Encouraging listeners—sarcastically—to "charge up as many credit cards" to make everyone happy, resulting in "debt past your eyeballs."
- Quote:
"Come January, you’ll be glad you emptied out every pocket you have and you’re in debt past your eyeballs. That’s a great way to destroy the holidays." (Dr. Laura, 04:55)
- Insight: Financial recklessness in the spirit of holiday giving often leads to post-holiday regret and stress.
4. Overscheduling & People-Pleasing ([05:05])
- Dr. Laura addresses the tendency to say "yes" to every invitation and let others dictate your family's schedule:
- Encourages listeners—again, with sarcasm—to "attend every party, every program, every event" to avoid spending quality time with family.
- Letting in-laws and extended family control your calendar is another way to ruin the holidays.
- Quote:
“Don’t come up with a workable, balanced game plan for your family holiday. Allow family and in-laws to control your schedule. Whatever they want, whatever they demand, you do that.” (Dr. Laura, 05:21)
- Insight: Setting boundaries and planning intentionally preserves family closeness and reduces stress.
5. Bringing Up the Negative Past & Politics ([07:47], [08:31])
- Dr. Laura provides her "best" way to destroy the holidays:
- Stir up old family conflicts and focus conversations on contentious issues like politics and religion.
- Quote:
"Take advantage of this opportunity to bring up as much of the past as possible and only if the past sucks. Be sure to talk about politics... Especially when you know everybody in the room is on a different side of this." (Dr. Laura, 07:54)
- She critiques the modern "country of sides," urging listeners to avoid divisive arguments during the holidays.
- Another satirical tip: “Don’t forget to convince everyone that your opinion and your viewpoint is the right one. Even about religion…” (Dr. Laura, 08:35)
- Insight: Digging up past grievances or polarizing topics only sows discord and damages precious family time.
6. Ignoring Generosity & Togetherness ([09:03])
- Dr. Laura warns (with heavy sarcasm) against succumbing to the holiday spirit:
- Discourages helping shut-ins, participating in community or charitable activities, or making time for family.
- Quote:
"Don’t fall prey to the spirit of generosity that surrounds the season. Don’t visit anybody who’s kind of a shut in. Don’t get involved in Christmas caroling. Don’t deliver homemade goodies to the neighbors. Don’t do any of that. No, your time is yours. Screw others. They’re on their own.” (Dr. Laura, 09:07)
- Bringing work home instead of engaging with family is presented as "another great way" to ruin the holidays.
- Insight: Withdrawing from kindness and connection defeats the purpose of the season.
7. Final Reflection: Is She Serious? ([10:30])
- Dr. Laura breaks the fourth wall, responding to listeners who might be wondering if she means all this advice literally:
- Quote:
"Is somebody saying to you, is she being sarcastic or does she mean that? I mean that if you want to destroy the holidays, I just gave you ways to do it beautifully." (Dr. Laura, 10:37)
- Insight: The episode’s sarcasm ultimately frames constructive, healthy, loving ways to not destroy the holidays.
- Quote:
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On materialism:
“Focus as much attention as possible on material things… That’s the most important part of the holidays.”
— Dr. Laura (03:20) -
On family chores:
“Make a list with the kids… Kiss and hug everybody in the family and say, okay, I’m going to count backwards from 3, 2, 1. Everybody finish their assignment and we will all put up the tree. Or you can be an ass.”
— Dr. Laura (04:10) -
On overspending:
“Charge up as many credit cards in order to make everybody happy. Because come January, you’ll be glad you emptied out every pocket you have and you’re in debt past your eyeballs.”
— Dr. Laura (04:55) -
On divisive topics:
“Bring up politics... especially when you know everybody in the room is on a different side of this. Because as you know, we have become a country of sides. Not thought, just sides.”
— Dr. Laura (07:54) -
On withdrawing from generosity:
“Don’t visit anybody who's kind of a shut-in. Don’t deliver homemade goodies to the neighbors. No, your time is yours. Screw others. They’re on their own.”
— Dr. Laura (09:08) -
Meta-sarcasm:
“Is she being sarcastic or does she mean that? I mean that if you want to destroy the holidays, I just gave you ways to do it beautifully.”
— Dr. Laura (10:37)
Key Segment Timestamps
- Materialism & Perfectionism: 03:10 – 04:10
- Household Chores & Family Cooperation: 04:10 – 04:45
- Financial Stress: 04:45 – 05:05
- Overscheduling & People-Pleasing: 05:05 – 05:32
- Digging Up the Negative Past/Politics: 07:47 – 08:45
- Ignoring Generosity & Togetherness: 09:03 – 10:10
- Meta-Reflection on Sarcasm: 10:30 – 10:50
Conclusion & Takeaways
Through her satirical guide to “ruining” the holidays, Dr. Laura cleverly highlights the behaviors and mindsets that sabotage festive joy. Her underlying recommendation:
- Skip the perfectionism, materialism, grudges, overcommitting, drama, and self-centeredness.
- Prioritize meaningful family time, moderation, generosity, and creating warm, drama-free memories.
This episode offers a humorous but wise roadmap for enjoying the holidays with authenticity and love.