Amanda (Caller) (3:19)

Seriously, I, like, I've been, like, pretty clear about, like, my standards, like, how I want to be treated. And there has been like a time.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:28)

He'S not living for you. If he's going to be with his family, don't say, this is how I want to be treated. I want more attention. If you want more attention, get a dog. Human beings have lives, especially at this very young age. You are not ever going to be the center of his life in the next three years, even if you continue seeing him, because he's going to have a career, he's going to have family, he's going to have things just as hopefully you will. So your expectation, your fantasies about what a relationship with a man is like, are way out of whack.

Amanda (Caller) (4:06)

Do you think even though, like, I will try to end things with him and he will just, like, be really persistent? Like, no, like, you're the person that I want. Like, I'm sorry that I like. Obviously at first it was like a rough start because, like, I was trying to get things figured out. But, like, now I'm willing to give 110% and he is doing a little bit better, but I feel like still not 100%. Like, is that something that I give him time for?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (4:27)

Let him go. Let him go. He doesn't need to be tortured by you. Let him go. Absolutely. Please let him go. You're much too demanding.

Amanda (Caller) (4:43)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (4:47)

I'm not saying this to intentionally cause pain, but I was 21. I understand the mindset. There's a romanticized notion that he lives for you, he's got a life, you want to fit into it, then you're going to have to be flexible.

Amanda (Caller) (5:11)

So do you feel like in the future, like, in what ways can I be better? And like, what things should I be looking for? That's not that.

Commercial Announcer (5:23)

A Sapphire Reserve story from Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller (5:25)

People who want to get into entertainment always ask me for advice. And after shooting Severance for Apple tv, I basically have a simple answer. Don't work with goats. They don't take direction, they eat your shoes. They're emotionally distant. I mean, I used to think certain actors were difficult, but goats are worse.

Commercial Announcer (5:39)

Sapphire Reserve now comes with Apple tv, including Zebrance Chase. Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding See More rewards@chase.com Reserve IT cards issued by JP Morgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. Apple and the Apple logo are trademarks of Apple Inc. Registered in the US and other countries.

Ben Stiller (5:53)

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national Red Tag Sales event going on right now through October 19th. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the Red Tag Sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at DrHorton.com Dr. Horton A America's Builder and Equal Housing Opportunity Builder.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:22)

Mint Mobile's favorite word is no. Just like a toddler contracts no monthly bills, no hidden fees, overages, B.S. no no no. The benefit of saying yes to all of Mint Mobile's no's is Premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month and you can bring your phone and your number with you. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mintmobile.com DrLaura that's mintmobile.com DrLaura upfront payment of $45 required. That's equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.

Evergreen Virtual Academy Representative (7:22)

Are you a parent looking for an independent, flexible and tuition free school in Oregon? Evergreen Virtual Academy offers a dynamic and tuition free public education with Oregon certified teachers for PK through 12th grade students. Your student gets a laptop, live class sessions and the ability to chart their own unique path, plus in person events and social activities all year. When school has no walls, learning has no limits. Learn more and enroll now. Evergreen Virtual Academy evergreenvirtual.org Skipping cold and.

Commercial Announcer (7:53)

Flu season is Plan A, but if you do get sick, be prepared for Plan B with Kleenex lotion tissues. Kleenex lotion tissues moisturize skin, helping prevent the added discomfort of red, irritated skin on top of your cold and flu symptoms. So this cold and flu season, grab Kleenex lotion tissues. Visit kleenex.com to learn more and buy now for whatever happens next. Grab Kleenex.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (8:20)

That he's a good person of character. That you watch his behavior with his family when you go out in public. He's thoughtful, he's kind, he's Fair. He's willing to discuss things out with you, things like that, not how much time he dedicates to you. I mean, if you're married to somebody in the military, that's going to be a very destructive notion you have in your head. If you marry somebody who's a brain surgeon, that's going to be a very destructive notion to have in your head. Because these are men who are otherwise occupied and you have to fit in if you want them.

Amanda (Caller) (9:08)

Okay. And, like, you don't feel like him saying, like, no, like, I want to be with you. Like, I'm willing to, like, put in the effort and all that. Like, I shouldn't trust what he's saying.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (9:20)

It's not a matter of not trusting. It's a matter of, I think no matter what he did, it wouldn't be enough for you. And then at 21, he's still trying to please this girl, dash woman, and getting very upset and exhausted over it all. I mean, you've been thinking more about what you want him to do to you than what you've done for him. You're not even a halfway kind of woman. As I said, you have a fantasy notion of how a relationship is supposed to be, and it's really, with you, the center of the universe, the only man you're going to get to cater to that is a real limp dick.

Amanda (Caller) (10:17)

Do you think, like, there's, like, that I should change in this relationship and, like, give him that space or, like, it's, it's done, it's gone too far, like, past the point?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:28)

Yes. No, it hasn't. You've just been kind of difficult. Sweetie, you're 21. Probably cut yourself some slack. You've read a lot. You have fantasy notions. You haven't spent a lot of time in the real world with real men. And, and you'll learn. I'm just giving you a little heads up. John F. Kennedy, one our most interesting president, said, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. I loved that. In relationships, if two people are doing that, they're going to have a lovely relationship. So ask not all the stuff you want from him so you feel special. I tell you something, when you do other people, it makes you feel special.

Amanda (Caller) (11:24)

Yeah, how do I know when it's like, I am putting in like that?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (11:34)

You're only 21. Be patient. Got a good eight, nine years to get good at this. So you make an intelligent choice in a man. Be patient. It takes time to learn this all to learn yourself and to learn a man. But the first thing you have to get into your head. A man does not exist for your benefit only. Get that one out of your head. I think I have a break I'm supposed to take. Is that True? My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com Dr. Laura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

Commercial Announcer (12:39)

Mazda Once you discover the Mazda CX90 Mazda it doesn't.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (12:45)

Take long to get it.

Commercial Announcer (12:46)

With three row seating and safety features like radar, cruise control and rear cross traffic alert to carry you and your peace of mind, it will have you saying Mazda. The Mazda CX90.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (12:57)

It's made to move you.

Evergreen Virtual Academy Representative (12:59)

Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated driving experience and refined performance. Discover at your local Mazda dealer today.