Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: I Don't Want My Daughter's Boyfriend Around
Date: October 14, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest Caller: Paula

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Paula, a long-time listener struggling with her adult daughter's relationship choices. Paula feels uncomfortable about her daughter's boyfriend and seeks advice on how to handle his presence at family gatherings. Dr. Laura, known for her straightforward, no-nonsense approach, challenges Paula's expectations and guides her toward accepting her daughter's autonomy and making a difficult personal decision.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding the Root Issue (01:00 - 03:44)

• Caller Background: Paula shares that her 32-year-old daughter, who introduced her to Dr. Laura's show, is independent and successful as a house cleaner and fitness instructor.
• Daughter's Relationship History: Her daughter was in a 10-year relationship with a drug addict, which deeply affected Paula.

"What kind of young woman lives 10 years with a drug addict? See, mothers calling me about the bummy sons don't realize their daughters chose him."
— Dr. Laura (03:13)

Insight:
Dr. Laura emphasizes personal responsibility, shifting attention from the ex-boyfriend's behavior to the daughter's agency in her decisions.

2. Reframing Parental Involvement & Letting Go (03:44 - 04:40, 07:21 - 08:11)

• The Parent-Child Dynamic Shift: Dr. Laura challenges Paula's view of her relationship with her adult daughter, urging her to accept that the dynamic has changed since childhood.

"There's an expectation that what you had when she was 12 should be forever. Doesn't work that way in real life. That makes resentments and annoyances."
— Dr. Laura (01:59)

• Dealing with Discomfort: Paula admits to being uncomfortable with the new boyfriend and feeling a need to intervene at family gatherings.

Insight:
Dr. Laura asserts that, as adults, children will make their own choices regardless of parental interference or approval.

3. The Choice for Family Gatherings (08:18 - 10:15)

• Paula's Dilemma: Should she allow her daughter's boyfriend at family events or risk alienating her daughter by excluding him?
• Dr. Laura's Candid Response: Excluding the boyfriend likely means excluding her daughter, at least for a while.

"If you tell her you don't want her to come or you don't want her to come with him, she's probably not going to talk to you. So you have a decision to make. Which would be worse for you. Make a decision."
— Dr. Laura (09:41)

Insight:
The real question, according to Dr. Laura, is for Paula to decide what boundary she can live with, as she cannot control her daughter's decisions.

4. On Enabling & Parental Power (10:15 - 10:56)

• Enabling Myth Busted: Paula worries that allowing the boyfriend at family events is "enabling" her daughter's choices.
• Dr. Laura Corrects: Allowing or disallowing him at gatherings doesn’t impact their relationship; “enabling” is the wrong frame.

"She'd be doing him anyway. You're having him there or not having him in there has no impact on her relationship with him. It's independent."
— Dr. Laura (10:26)

5. Acceptance & The Maternal Dilemma (11:01 - 12:06)

• Facing Reality: Dr. Laura repeatedly presses Paula to confront the facts: her daughter chooses her partners, and Paula must accept limited control.
• Parental Denial: Paula admits she’s struggling with denial and doesn’t want to “let go.”

"That's because you have boobs and a uterus. It changes how one thinks. One thinks about them when they were first born, and one doesn't want to let go of that."
— Dr. Laura (11:48)

Insight:
Dr. Laura highlights the depth of parental attachment and how it often clouds objectivity when letting adult children make their own mistakes.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Dr. Laura on Agency:
  "This is who your daughter is. These are the choices she wants to make. I mean, you said she's very independent…" (07:22)
• The Split Decision:
  "Are you willing to just let her go? And that way you don't have to tolerate him? That's a decision only you make." (11:03)
• Parental Attachment:
  "One doesn't want to believe one might have to let go of that." (11:48)

Notable Timestamps

• [01:59] – Dr. Laura challenges Paula’s expectations of her relationship with her adult daughter.
• [03:13] – Dr. Laura flips the focus from “bad boyfriend” to the daughter’s choices.
• [04:09] – Dr. Laura challenges Paula on her investment in her daughter’s relationships.
• [09:41] – Stark advice on the likely outcome if Paula excludes the boyfriend from family gatherings.
• [10:26] – Dr. Laura dismisses the “enabling” argument.
• [11:48] – Insightful, candid observation about the maternal struggle of letting go.

Tone & Style

Dr. Laura maintains her forthright, slightly irreverent tone, quickly cutting through sentimentality and challenging Paula (and listeners) to confront hard truths. She delivers advice rooted in personal responsibility and acceptance rather than hope for change through interference.

Conclusion

This episode is emblematic of Dr. Laura’s tough-love approach, offering critical perspective to parents navigating boundaries with adult children. The listener, Paula, is guided to accept her daughter as she is rather than as she wishes her to be—a lesson in tough decision-making and letting go with love.