
The kindness that Cindy and her husband have shown to a couple down on their luck has backfired spectacularly. Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.
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Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day brought to you by Vibriant Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.com drlaura to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM triumph and connect with me 24. 7@drlora.com Cindy, welcome to the program.
C
Hello.
A
Hi. What can I help you with?
C
Well, a situation. Just probably a week into it, my husband and I invited some people that were in a bad spot in their life to, you know, move in and help us get our house straightened out as far as construction, and we would give them a place to stay and it doesn't seem like it's working out very well.
A
Why not? What do you think is not working out?
C
Well, there's really no work getting done.
A
And so when you ask them, would you mind putting all the wood in that pile? What do they say?
C
They just say, I said, are you going to do anything today? And he said, I don't know.
A
Okay then. Cindy, are you a grown up at 68? I just want to know if you're a grown up at 68, because some people aren't. A lot of people are.
C
Well, no, I'm not a grown up.
A
Okay. Is your husband a grown up?
C
Scared little girl.
A
Is your husband a grown up?
C
No.
A
Well, then you're screwed. Anything else I can help you with? What do you want me to say? This is your home. You made a deal. The deal's not being made. You say we made this deal in good conscience believing you would follow through. You haven't. So we'd like you to move out this weekend. There's a reason these people were in a. There's a reason these people were in a bad place, right? They're lazy and irresponsible. So you were suckered. And if you don't ask them to leave, then you're ridiculous.
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C
Well, my husband and I just are not in agreement at all. He wants to help them out and I don't like the way he's helping them out.
A
Okay, then you'll have to get in the middle of that and say in a meeting of all four of you, you guys are not following through. My husband is an easier touch than I am. I'm more of a grown up and you have to leave if you're not going to follow through on the agreement in front of your husband with the couple there. Act like a grownup.
C
Well, he defends the couple.
A
I don't care if he defends the couple. I don't know if he has a need to keep them there because he's hot for the woman or hot for the guy. I don't know what problems your husband has or what the ulterior motives are he has for this. Maybe this is instead of having a marital relationship with you because they're in the middle and I don't know. But doesn't matter to some extent because he's not calling, you are. So I suggest tonight you invite them in with your husband. You sit there and go, this isn't working. My husband is being a soft touch. I'm not. I'd like you out by this weekend because you're not following through. And if your husband says, I want to keep helping them and say, well, you know, once they move out, then you find a way to help them.
C
Yeah, I wanted to get a meeting this morning, but that just wasn't agree.
A
Make it happen. When they're there and he's there, you drag everybody into a room. Make it happen. Life goes on without your participation and doesn't give you the things you want and need. You have to participate. Make it happen. My number 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.
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Hey there, it's Kelly Rupa. And if you've been listening to my podcast, we are knee deep in season three and if you haven't heard it, it's time to get on board. After years of interviewing celebs on camera, I finally get to bring you the real conversations that take place when the cameras aren't rolling. Where else are you going to hear Michelle Obama talk about keeping her girls out of Page Six? Hilaria Baldwin's hilarious reaction to Alec running for office, or Jeremy Renner's lucid hallucinations about Jamie Fo? Nowhere else. It's raw, it's honest, and best of all, it's off camera. And believe me, that's where you get the good stuff. So download. Let's talk off Camera with Kelly Rippa now. Wherever you get your podcasts.
This episode centers on a caller, Cindy, who feels taken advantage of after offering shelter to a struggling couple in exchange for help with home construction. Dr. Laura provides no-nonsense, tough-love advice on boundaries, accountability, and personal responsibility, emphasizing the importance of being assertive in one’s own home and relationship.
"I said, are you going to do anything today? And he said, I don't know."
(Cindy, 02:16)
"Cindy, are you a grown up at 68? I just want to know if you’re a grown up at 68, because some people aren’t." (Dr. Laura, 02:22)
“Well, then you’re screwed. Anything else I can help you with?” (02:45)
"This is your home. You made a deal. The deal’s not being made. You say we made this deal in good conscience believing you would follow through. You haven’t. So we’d like you to move out this weekend." (Dr. Laura, 02:49)
"There’s a reason these people were in a bad place, right? They’re lazy and irresponsible. So you were suckered. And if you don’t ask them to leave, then you’re ridiculous." (02:59)
"You’ll have to get in the middle of that and say in a meeting of all four of you, you guys are not following through. My husband is an easier touch than I am. I’m more of a grown up and you have to leave if you’re not going to follow through on the agreement— in front of your husband with the couple there. Act like a grownup." (Dr. Laura, 06:07)
"I don’t care if he defends the couple. I don’t know if he has a need to keep them there because he’s hot for the woman or hot for the guy. I don’t know what problems your husband has or what the ulterior motives are he has for this. Maybe this is instead of having a marital relationship with you because they’re in the middle and I don’t know. But doesn’t matter to some extent because he’s not calling, you are." (06:30)
"I suggest tonight you invite them in with your husband. You sit there and go, this isn’t working. My husband is being a soft touch. I’m not. I’d like you out by this weekend because you’re not following through." (06:36)
"Make it happen. When they're there and he's there, you drag everybody into a room. Make it happen. Life goes on without your participation and doesn't give you the things you want and need. You have to participate. Make it happen." (Dr. Laura, 07:27)
Dr. Laura’s intervention showcases her signature direct, unapologetic coaching style. She identifies the issue as a lack of boundaries and asserts that Cindy must take adult responsibility in her home and marriage. The episode’s takeaway: you can’t expect healthy outcomes if you abdicate your personal authority—especially in your own life and relationships.