I Feel Stuck

Summary

Podcast Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode: I Feel Stuck
Release Date: January 17, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "I Feel Stuck," Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages with a caller named Liam, who seeks advice on navigating his emotions following a recent breakup. The conversation delves deep into themes of personal responsibility, emotional processing, and the impact of relationship dynamics on family life.

Caller Introduction

[00:31] Dr. Laura:
"Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Liam, welcome to the program."

[00:46] Liam:
"Hi, Dr. Laura."

Liam initiates the call by extending Thanksgiving wishes, highlighting his Canadian background:
[00:50] Liam:
"I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all the fellow Canadians like me, because today is our Thanksgiving."

Discussing the Feeling of Being "Stuck"

Liam expresses his struggle with feeling "stuck" after a breakup with his girlfriend, Nancy. He references Dr. Laura's previous advice on moving on from relationships.

[01:00] Liam:
"I feel stuck since breaking up with my girlfriend, Nancy. She’s my last thought, my first thought."

Dr. Laura challenges his interpretation of being stuck, differentiating it from normal emotional transitions post-breakup.

[01:42] Dr. Laura:
"That is not stuck. That's reminiscing."

She emphasizes that missing someone and reflecting on a past relationship are natural parts of moving forward.

[02:30] Liam:
"I have unfinished business with her. But like you're saying, that's normal."

[02:37] Dr. Laura:
"There's no unfinished business. It didn't work. It wasn't a match. There are nice things to remember... That's normal transition."

Relationship Dynamics and Values Misalignment

Liam shares that his relationship with Nancy ended because their values, particularly regarding raising children and cohabitation, were not aligned.

[07:00] Liam:
"She randomly dumped me based on our values not being aligned."

[07:12] Liam:
"We each had different ideas on how to raise our children and whether to move in together."

Dr. Laura commends Liam for prioritizing his son over the relationship, highlighting his courage and responsibility.

[07:48] Dr. Laura:
"You would have caused great damage to two kids... Good for you. That took courage and brains."

Impact on Father-Son Relationship

Liam admits that his emotional turmoil has led to increased anger and a strained relationship with his 8-year-old son.

[08:09] Liam:
"I've been more angry towards my son and more short-fused because I feel stuck."

Dr. Laura bluntly addresses his behavior, labeling it as selfish and detrimental to his relationship with his son.

[08:20] Dr. Laura:
"That's you being an asshole... Sorry."

She urges Liam to take immediate responsibility for his actions and apologize to his son.

[08:58] Dr. Laura:
"You can stop that any moment... Say, 'I'm acting like an asshole, and I apologize.'"

Liam acknowledges his wrongdoing, agreeing to make amends.

[09:12] Dr. Laura:
"You're more important to me than any girlfriend... I'm sorry I was acting bratty."

Reflection and Therapy

Liam reflects on his past, mentioning his divorce and recent relationship as his first since then. He also touches upon his experience with therapy, which suggested he might be too low in self-esteem.

[11:19] Liam:
"Am I just putting too much thought into the women in my life? I am seeing a therapist, and we've determined that I'm too low."

Dr. Laura maintains her stance, reiterating the importance of taking responsibility and ceasing melodramatic behavior.

[10:13] Dr. Laura:
"You're in therapy also. ... Apologize to your boy and realize you're not stuck. No more drama."

Conclusion

Dr. Laura concludes the call by reinforcing the need for Liam to prioritize his son and cease his self-centered behavior. She offers him a succinct summary of the necessary steps to move forward positively.

[10:42] Liam:
"Well, I married the love of my life... And then she cheated on me."

[10:49] Dr. Laura:
"A woman who's going to screw around on her man with a kid in the house is not the love of anybody's life... I wish it worked out. I really do."

Key Takeaways

• Emotional Processing: Recognizing the difference between being "stuck" and experiencing normal post-relationship emotions.
• Personal Responsibility: Acknowledging and addressing selfish behaviors that negatively impact loved ones.
• Prioritizing Family: Valuing familial relationships over romantic entanglements, especially when children are involved.
• Therapeutic Support: Utilizing therapy to understand and improve personal emotional states.

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura on Reminiscing vs. Being Stuck:
  [01:42] "That is not stuck. That's reminiscing."

• Dr. Laura on Prioritizing Children:
  [07:48] "Good for you. That took courage and brains."

• Dr. Laura on Selfish Behavior:
  [08:20] "That's you being an asshole... Sorry."

• Dr. Laura on Apologizing to His Son:
  [08:58] "You can stop that any moment... Say, 'I'm acting like an asshole, and I apologize.'"

Final Thoughts

In "I Feel Stuck," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides candid and straightforward advice, urging listeners to take accountability for their emotions and actions. Through Liam's story, the episode underscores the importance of distinguishing between normal emotional experiences and behaviors that harm familial relationships. Dr. Laura's no-nonsense approach serves as a reminder of the values of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility in overcoming personal challenges.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Liam, welcome to the program.

[Liam]

Hi, Dr. Lohr.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. What can I do for you?

[Liam]

I guess first up first, I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all the fellow Canadians like me, because today is our Thanksgiving.

[Dr. Laura]

Fabulous. Good.

[Liam]

Well, what motivated me? I sent you an email a while back, and then I heard your opening statements on the October 8th show about getting quickly dumped and can't move on. And though some of what you said there made me smile and I said, you know, I should take this in. I still can't take it in. I'm really stuck since breaking up with my girlfriend, Nancy. I don't know if what you wanted me to explain.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know what stuck means. I don't know what stuck means. I don't know what that means.

[Liam]

Stuck means, I guess that we had our Thanksgiving dinner as family last night and I sat there and just wish she was there. Stuck to me means she's my last thought, my first thought.

[Dr. Laura]

That is not stuck. That's reminiscing.

[Liam]

Okay, then I'm.

[Dr. Laura]

Because any relationship, any relationship that had to end for whatever reason always means that there are good things to remember and wishful things that will never come to pass. That's not stuck. That's normal. Transition normal. You're not stuck. There are things to miss. Not everything was horrible, but it was sort of nice even to have somebody. And that's hard to miss, too, just having somebody. So these are not stuck things. These are normal, transitional experiences.

[Liam]

I guess I just feel I have unfinished business with her. But like you're saying, that's normal.

[Dr. Laura]

There's no unfinished business. It doesn't work. It didn't work. It wasn't a match. There were nice things. There are things to remember, things to reminisce about things to miss, things to hope you have in the future. That's normal transition.

[Liam]

So just keep on and carry on. I guess you're saying.

[Dr. Laura]

What else is there in life? It's life. It's just real life. These, the emotions we go through and this sort of thing happens. You don't have to make something disturbed out of it. You're not stuck. You miss those things you miss. That's normal.

[Liam]

Well, yes. She's my first relationship since getting divorced.

[Dr. Laura]

And that doesn't matter. That doesn't. She wasn't perfect. It wasn't a perfect match.

[Liam]

Mm.

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[Liam]

Well, we ended up she randomly dumped me based on some we had an open conversation about some of our values and they weren't. They weren't aligned.

[Dr. Laura]

But okay, what values were yours?

[Liam]

How we would we each had children and how we would raise them had we moved in together, which I did explain. That's something you say we should never do. But she wanted to move in and with me and my son and her and her son and I wanted to.

[Dr. Laura]

Wait and give her a little time. If you guys more time would not have changed anything minor Kids, you should not be shacking up and acting all melodramatic about it. Your son is more important than your love life.

[Liam]

Very true. Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

So you would have caused great damage to two kids. So thank you for having the courage to not cave under the pressure of let's shack up. Good for you. That took courage and brains.

[Liam]

Yeah. Unfortunately it's because of my stuck feeling. I've noticed I've been more angry towards my son and more short fused and all that because I'm just. Like I said, I feel stuck. You know what I mean?

[Dr. Laura]

That's not stuck. That's okay. I can't help you. You'll have to go someplace where they unstick people because I don't know how to do that. Especially when somebody's not stuck. You. You're just being an asshole with your kid because you miss out on the sex and the promises and all of that, and instead of realizing that you were doing something wonderful by protecting your boy, now you're turning it on him. If he weren't there, you'd be so happy. So that's you being an asshole. Sorry.

[Liam]

You're right. No, you're right. Thank you. You are actually correct. I'm being selfish.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes. And you can stop that any moment. And first thing you need to do is go to your son and say, I'm acting like an asshole, and I apologize.

[Liam]

Well, he's 8, so I'll use different language, but yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, I'm acting bratty. Sorry, but you're more important to me than any girlfriend. You're more important to me than any girlfriend. And I'm sorry I was acting bratty. I just kind of missed having a girlfriend.

[Liam]

He'll understand that. We did spend time with her. Our children did spend time together. We acted as friends. We didn't come off as dating, but. So he's missing the other son, too?

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. Well, that's why I tell people, don't be doing this while you have minor kids.

[Liam]

I know, and I'm a regular listener, so I know that you do say.

[Dr. Laura]

That, but I don't say this to be a killjoy. I say this to minimize pain and disappointment, which is most likely there.

[Liam]

Yeah. I guess I just felt our connection was unreal and she was the one. And we would be married one day, and we would do what you wanted to do, but then I just didn't want to move in.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, I'm sorry. You were 12 years old for a little while. That's understandable. Especially if the sex is good.

[Liam]

It was. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Mm. Mm. My first divorce was nothing having to do with me. This is the perfect woman, and we're going to be happy forever after. Which means I'm fine. Yeah, that's.

[Liam]

Well, for sure. I married the love of my life to begin with. I married who I thought was the love of my life. First time. And then she cheated on me, so, yeah, that's.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you do get overly melodramatic. Early love of my life. A woman who's going to screw around on her man with a kid in the house is not the love of anybody's life, and you knew it. She can't pretend that much. You just needed it to be like you needed this one to be. And I wish it worked out. I really do. I really do.

[Liam]

Am I just putting my too much thought into the women in my life. I am seeing a therapist, and we've determined that I'm too low.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't have an answer to that. You're in therapy also. Okay. All righty. Well, apologize to your boy and realize you're not stuck. No more drama. My number, 1-800-375-28. I love it. He thanked me for calling him out as an asshole. Basically a good guy, I think. Basically a good guy. Just a little, I don't know, a little too much in Disneyland. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Sweetheart, what about this one?

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