Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "I Never Know What to Do"
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest: Ann (Caller)
Date: September 23, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
Overview
In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Ann, a 72-year-old divorced woman torn between moving back to her home state of Massachusetts or staying closer to her two grown daughters and three grandchildren, none of whom live nearby. Ann struggles with feelings of guilt, worries about being a "bad grandmother," and seeks advice on whether to use a recent inheritance to retire. Dr. Laura offers her signature direct, no-nonsense guidance, pushing Ann to embrace personal responsibility and challenge family dynamics that make her doubt her own decision-making.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Ann’s Dilemma: Family and Location
[01:14–03:30]
- Ann introduces herself and describes her situation: living hours away from her two daughters and three grandsons, working limited hours, and considering moving back to Massachusetts, where extended family lives.
- She feels uncertain because she fears missing out on her grandchildren's lives but admits to seeing them only every few months ("once every three months").
- Dr. Laura immediately reframes Ann's concern, emphasizing that seeing grandchildren infrequently isn't the same as being actively involved.
Quote:
“Once every three months is not being really involved with their families.”
– Dr. Laura, 03:07
2. Clarifying Priorities – What Does Ann Really Want?
[03:30–05:03, 07:38–08:57]
- Dr. Laura challenges Ann to consider what she truly wants, not what she thinks she "should" want.
- When Ann says she'd like to be more involved, Dr. Laura cuts through the equivocation, pointing out she can always visit by plane and that the frequency wouldn’t change much if she moved.
- Ann expresses guilt about not being a more "involved" grandmother.
Memorable Exchange:
“If you'd like to go back to Massachusetts, hell, go back to Massachusetts. You want to visit the grandkids three, four times a year, get on a plane and go do it.”
– Dr. Laura, 04:13
Dr. Laura’s Take:
- Moving to Massachusetts won’t make Ann less involved than she already is; the guilt is misplaced.
Quote:
“You’re not a terrific grandmother right now. You’re not an involved grandmother right now. Nothing will change.”
– Dr. Laura, 08:26
3. Feelings of Guilt and Family Judgment
[08:23–09:05, 12:19–12:48]
- Ann battles feelings of being a "bad grandmother" and feels pressure from family.
- Dr. Laura bluntly tells Ann this is self-imposed guilt and won’t change with a move.
- In a sharp exchange, Dr. Laura uncovers an entrenched family dynamic: Ann's family treats her like "the family idiot."
Quote:
“But in your family, you’re the family idiot. And that’s how they all treat you.”
– Dr. Laura, 12:31
Ann acknowledges:
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe you said that. They do. They do. I got it.”
– Ann, 12:37
4. Financial Independence and Retirement
[09:13–12:19]
- Ann shares that her father passed away, leaving her $100,000. She wonders if retiring and supplementing her income with the inheritance is “foolish,” echoing her brother’s advice to keep working until she finds something else.
- Dr. Laura repeatedly pushes Ann to take responsibility for her decisions and stop deferring to others’ opinions.
Quote:
“You are 72 years old. When are you going to trust your judgment?”
– Dr. Laura, 10:39
- Dr. Laura refuses to give a simple "yes" or "no," reinforcing that Ann must own her choices at this stage of her life.
Quote:
“I trust that you will make a decision that works for you. If your brother has a different notion, who cares? That’s his.”
– Dr. Laura, 11:05
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On taking responsibility:
“At 72, it’s damn time you took responsibility for your choices. Please.”
– Dr. Laura, 11:57 -
On family roles and negative labeling:
“In your family, you’re the family idiot. And that’s how they all treat you.”
– Dr. Laura, 12:31 -
Host’s Core Philosophy:
“It’s your life. You are the architect.”
– Dr. Laura, 11:43
Important Segments with Timestamps
- [01:14] – Ann introduces her situation and dilemma
- [03:07] – Dr. Laura calls out Ann’s lack of real involvement with her grandkids
- [04:13] – Dr. Laura bluntly suggests Ann should just move if that’s her preference
- [07:38] – Dr. Laura re-centers the question on what Ann honestly wants
- [08:26] – Addressing feelings of being a bad grandmother
- [09:13] – Inheritance and retirement question introduced
- [10:39] – Dr. Laura challenges Ann to trust her own judgment
- [12:31] – Sharp confrontation about family dynamics and roles
Tone & Style
Dr. Laura maintains her trademark direct, sometimes blunt and challenging tone throughout the call, holding Ann accountable for her choices and encouraging independence and self-respect. She repeatedly redirects the conversation away from guilt-driven indecision and family-imposed narratives, aiming to empower Ann to make her own choices with confidence.
Conclusion
This episode provides a quintessential Dr. Laura interaction: a compassionate yet uncompromising look at personal responsibility and not letting guilt or family dynamics dictate one’s happiness. Ann is left with a clear directive—to be the architect of her own life, move where she’d be happiest, and not justify herself to others.