
Britney is considering taking her aunt to court to regain some access to the kids she lost custody of when she was a drug addict. Searching for advice? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
Devices early ctmobile.com thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Brittany welcome to the program. How can I help?
Brittany
Honestly, I don't know how exactly to go about this. So it's a situation where whenever I was younger, like I'm gonna take it back to before I had kids. Before I had kids, I used drugs. I was a drug addict. I had gotten clean, ended up getting pregnant by now my ex husband and I had two kids by my now ex husband. Well, whenever I started going through a divorce with him, I ended up relapsing and I got my kids taken away during the whole CPS proceeding. I ended up signing my rights away because at the time that's what was best in the best interest of my children. I now have two more children that are in my custody. I've been five years clean. My aunt, she adopted my daughters. She won't let my daughters see me. Well, let me see my daughters. I know I have no legal right, but because I live in Texas, my two younger kids have a legal right to see their sisters. So I'm really, I guess really just my family has told me not to take this to court, that they don't want me to take it to court, but I want my kids to know each other. She's made it clear that. Sorry, I'm getting a little bit emotional because this is an emotional.
Dr. Laura
Who, who's the father of the latest two?
Brittany
He is actually here with me.
Counselor
I mean, he's a different guy than the first two. The ex husband?
Brittany
Yes, a different guy.
Counselor
And you married to this guy?
Brittany
I'm not married to him. It's common law. Married to him?
Counselor
Yeah. I don't Believe in that. But. All right. So your question for me is, should you fight this?
Brittany
Should I really? Should I take my aunt to court for my two youngest kids to be able to have visitation with their older sisters?
Counselor
And how far do you folks live from each other?
Brittany
Honestly, we don't live that far. My aunt just. She doesn't want no contact with me.
Dr. Laura
I'm just. Ma'am, just try to answer the question. How far away do you folks live.
Counselor
From each other, you and the aunt?
Brittany
Probably about 20 miles from each other.
Counselor
Okay, you're right. That's very close.
Dr. Laura
You're asking my opinion?
Counselor
Is that what you're asking?
Brittany
Yeah, basically your opinion.
Dr. Laura
My opinion is you leave, you take care of. My opinion is you take care of your kids that are here.
Counselor
The other ones. You signed away your rights. She did. She's not a babysitter. She took them on as a parent and I think you need to respect that. And when the kids are all grown up, if everybody wants to meet, that can happen.
Dr. Laura
Right now.
Counselor
She doesn't want confusion and upset. And I believe it's important for you to respect that, even though it's unpleasant.
Dr. Laura
Because it's not necessarily in your current.
Counselor
Kid'S best interest to see or not see. They're not going to be in each other's lives on a daily basis, even a weekly basis. I think it's for you. I know you feel bad, but you can't unravel the consequence of everything you did without causing major disruption. And sometimes we have to sacrifice considering that. So I vote no.
Dr. Laura
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Brittany
I understand that is kind of upsetting to hear.
Counselor
Thank her very much for jumping in when you couldn't. That was pretty amazing of her. Not too many people do that. Two kids? No. So don't rip her heart apart and don't rip them emotionally away because it's not just meeting more kids you made it's who's my mommy? And you decided that it was in their best interest that your aunt be their mommy. So you have two blessings currently to take care of. Let her take care of the others.
Brittany
I understand that is upsetting to hear.
Counselor
And who knows? So 15 years from now, you might have a curiously interesting family reunion. Because if she adopted their aunt, then I think you need. You're a cousin to your own kids.
Dr. Laura
I'm not sure that's right. But we'll worry about that then.
Counselor
Okay?
Brittany
Okay. Thank you, doctor.
Counselor
I'm very proud of you, Brittany, that you got clean. I just wish you'd get married. Really. You do need to lay your lives down for each other and for the kids in a very formal way. That's really respecting the family concept more. And besides, you can wear a pretty dress.
Brittany
All right. Thank you, Dr. Loris.
Counselor
You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872.
Dr. Laura
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Podcast Information:
In the March 2, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt and complex family situation presented by a caller named Brittany. The episode delves into Brittany's struggle to regain visitation rights with her older daughters, who were placed in the custody of her aunt following Brittany's past struggles with addiction and subsequent recovery.
Brittany's Background: Brittany begins by sharing her journey from battling drug addiction to achieving sobriety five years ago. She became pregnant and had two children with her ex-husband. During their divorce, Brittany relapsed, leading to her children being taken away by Child Protective Services (CPS). In an effort to secure what she believed was in the best interest of her children, Brittany signed away her parental rights. Consequently, her aunt adopted her daughters.
Current Situation: Brittity now has two more children in her custody. Despite her clean record and stable life, her aunt refuses to allow Brittany access to her older daughters, preventing them from knowing each other. Brittany resides in Texas, where her two younger children have a legal right to interact with their sisters. Although her family advises against legal action, Brittany feels compelled to ensure her children can bond with their siblings.
Notable Quote:
"I know I have no legal right, but because I live in Texas, my two younger kids have a legal right to see their sisters." (00:52)
Dr. Laura's Initial Inquiry: Dr. Laura seeks clarity on Brittany’s situation, particularly about the father of her two youngest children.
Counselor’s Perspective: A counselor present during the call provides a nuanced view, emphasizing the importance of respecting the aunt's role as a parent to the older daughters. The counselor advises Brittany against pursuing legal action, highlighting the potential emotional turmoil it could cause her children and the disruption of the current family structure.
Notable Quotes:
Counselor: "I think you need to respect that... It's not necessarily in your current kid's best interest to see or not see." (04:13)
Dr. Laura: "My opinion is you take care of your kids that are here." (03:35)
Emotional Impact: Brittany expresses her distress over the situation, acknowledging the counselor's advice but still feeling emotionally torn about her desire to connect her children.
Further Counsel: The counselor reinforces the notion that Brittany should focus on her current role as a mother to her two children. He suggests that forcing contact might lead to confusion and emotional harm, not only to Brittany but also to her children who may struggle with understanding their family dynamics.
Notable Quote:
Counselor: "Sometimes we have to sacrifice considering that... So I vote no." (04:17)
Long-Term Outlook: The counselor speculates about a possible future reconciliation, hinting at the possibility of a family reunion when the children are older, but advises caution and respect for the current parental arrangement.
Dr. Laura acknowledges the difficult emotions Brittany is facing and commends her for achieving sobriety and maintaining custody of her two younger children. She emphasizes the importance of respecting the aunt's role and the existing family structure, aligning with the counselor's advice to prioritize the well-being of her children over personal desires.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Laura: "You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-2872." (10:11)
Dr. Laura wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast and share their experiences, reinforcing the supportive community she strives to build through her program.
Respecting Custody Arrangements: Brittany's case underscores the complexity of custody arrangements, especially when past struggles and recovery efforts are involved.
Emotional Well-being of Children: The primary focus should always be on the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved, avoiding actions that might lead to confusion or distress.
Legal Rights vs. Emotional Bonds: While legal rights can mandate visitation, the importance of harmonious familial relationships often outweighs strict legal actions.
Support Systems: Brittany's journey highlights the significance of strong support systems and professional guidance in navigating challenging family dynamics.
This episode offers a compassionate exploration of the intricate balance between legal rights and emotional connections within family structures, providing listeners with thoughtful insights and practical advice on handling similar situations.