I Wish My Wife Would Take Me Back

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: I Wish My Wife Would Take Me Back
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest: Jeremiah
Original Air Date: October 3, 2025

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Overview

In this emotionally candid episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaks with Jeremiah, a recently divorced father. Jeremiah grapples with guilt and regret over his behavior during his marriage—specifically drinking, infidelity, and episodes of physical and emotional abuse. He longs to reconcile with his ex-wife but continuously faces her refusal. Seeking Dr. Laura’s guidance, Jeremiah wonders whether he should hold onto hope or let go for the sake of his children. Dr. Laura responds with her signature blend of directness and ethical counsel, challenging Jeremiah with tough truths and practical guidance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Background and Circumstances of the Caller

[02:18 – 04:03]

• Marriage and Divorce: Jeremiah was married for 15 years; both he and his ex-wife are 38.
• Relationship Duration: Dated for 2 years before marrying.
• Causes of Divorce: Jeremiah candidly admits to drinking, infidelity, emotional abuse, and physical abuse (pushing and shoving, but not hitting).
  • “So, the reason you guys divorced?” – Dr. Laura [03:03]
  • “Was drinking and infidelity and also emotional abuse and physical Abuse at times.” – Jeremiah [03:04]
  • “You did all of that?” – Dr. Laura [03:17]
  • “Yes, I did.” – Jeremiah [03:20]
• Legal Consequences: Arrested and on probation for DWI, not for abuse.
  • “Did you end up in jail for any of it?” – Dr. Laura [03:21]
  • “No. For drinking? Yes.” – Jeremiah [03:24]
• Children: Two boys, aged 12 and 13, witnessed his relapse into alcoholism. Physical altercations were hidden from them.
  • “So they watched their dad behave like this. Wow.” – Dr. Laura [04:10]

Post-Divorce Life and Ongoing Relationship

[04:44 – 06:50]

• Current Status: Jeremiah moved back with his mother due to probation terms; he’s now getting his own place.
• Ongoing Communication: Maintains a good friendship with his ex-wife, sharing openly about his dating life and feelings.
• Desire to Reconcile: Has repeatedly asked his ex-wife to get back together—she refused both times.
  • “I would love to remarry, I would love to reconcile. I would love to continue grow our family. And it was a no.” – Jeremiah [05:32]
• Dating Post-Divorce: Entered a brief relationship to escape his mother’s house, realized it was a mistake, felt it wasn’t fair to the other woman or himself.

The Question: Should He Let Go?

[06:45 – 06:50]

• Jeremiah’s main question: “Should I just give up the idea of even trying...?” [06:45]

Dr. Laura’s Signature Counsel

[06:50 – 10:45]

• Direct Warning Against Persistence:
  • “If you keep pushing, I call that pushing. Abusive behavior.” – Dr. Laura [06:50]
• Advice on Role and Responsibility:
  • Focus on being supportive as a friend and co-parent.
  • Avoid pursuing romantic relationships until both sons are 18, to provide them with stability and modeling better behavior.
  • “Don't date. Wait till your kids are all 18. Give them a better role model than they had when they were younger. This is your moral obligation now.” – Dr. Laura [09:14]
  • “Be supportive of her. Be her friend. Be their dad. No women. And don't push her anymore. She said no.” [09:23]
  • “If you keep pushing, she might push you away, and you don't want that. You want her in your life. I don't want you to lose her.” [09:36]
  • “Give up the notion we're going to get married again and make everything just all hunky dory. Give it up.” [09:42]
• Reframing the Goal: Dr. Laura reframes Jeremiah’s mission as prioritizing his children’s well-being and respecting his ex-wife’s wishes.
• Memorable Closing Exchange:
  • “Be her friend and their dad. You owe them both to be that, don't you think?” – Dr. Laura [10:46]
  • “I do. I do. Thank you, Dr. Laura. I really needed that.” – Jeremiah [10:55]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura, on persistence and boundaries:
  “If you keep pushing, I call that pushing. Abusive behavior.” [06:50]
• Dr. Laura, on moral duty:
  “Don't date. Wait till your kids are all 18. Give them a better role model than they had when they were younger. This is your moral obligation now.” [09:14]
• Jeremiah, acknowledging Dr. Laura’s advice:
  “I do. I do. Thank you, Dr. Laura. I really needed that. Thank you.” [10:55]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:18] – Jeremiah introduces his situation to Dr. Laura
• [03:20] – Jeremiah admits responsibility for abusive behavior
• [04:10] – Discussion of the effects on children
• [05:32] – Jeremiah details failed attempts at reconciliation
• [06:45] – Main question: Should he let go?
• [06:50] – Dr. Laura cautions that pushing for reconciliation is abusive
• [09:14] – Dr. Laura’s core advice: Focus on children, don’t date, don’t push
• [10:55] – Jeremiah gratefully accepts the advice

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Summary in Tone

Dr. Laura, maintaining her trademark mix of tough love and ethical clarity, delivers unambiguous advice: Jeremiah’s hope for reconciliation is damaging, both to himself and to his family. She insists he redirect his energy toward providing a stable, respectful environment for his children and ex-wife. The episode is a moving exploration of repentance, boundaries, and the hard road of rebuilding one’s character for the sake of those you love most.

Transcript

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[B]

Hi Dr. Lohr, thanks for having me. Pleasure to speak with you.

[A]

Thank you. What can I help you with?

[B]

So I'm. I've been recently divorced for about a year. Me and my ex husband. How long have you been married?

[A]

How long were you married?

[B]

15 years.

[A]

And how old are you? How old is she?

[B]

I am 38 and she is 38.

[A]

Okay, how long did you date before you married?

[B]

Five years. Okay, I'm sorry. No, two years.

[A]

Two years. Yeah. That's a big change. Okay, so the reason you guys divorced.

[B]

Was drinking and infidelity and also emotional abuse and physical Abuse at times.

[A]

You did all of that?

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

Did you end up in jail for any of it?

[B]

No. For drinking? Yes.

[A]

Ah, not for physical abuse?

[B]

No.

[A]

Wow. How did you avoid jail for that?

[B]

I. It was physical, like pushing, shoving. So we never. It never was like a punch and slap. It was still physical abuse, but it didn't go to that point where it was leaving any bruising and whatnot. She didn't want to put me in jail for that. But with drinking, I. I mean, I did that. That was on me. Okay.

[A]

And kids.

[B]

12 and 13 boys.

[A]

So they watched their dad behave like this. Wow.

[B]

They watch my dad. They watched their dad drink excessively? Yes, they did. Wow.

[A]

I'm sure they observed some pushing.

[B]

We kept that away from them. At. To be honest, it was more so.

[A]

Careful where you were when you pushed her. You were careful about that. You were planning. It's interesting. Okay, so she finally divorced you and then what happened?

[B]

Well, we. I moved out the house and she moved on to Houston. Had a good. Has a good job. I end up having to stay with my mother because I did have three years probation due to my DWI's, so that was a part of the legality of it. And now I'm off probation. I'm getting my own place. I get my own place about two days, as a matter of fact. So in the mean, in. In the totality of that time, me and my ex wife, we've always been talking. And in the time of our separate. In the time of our divorce, I did go and date. I wish I didn't. I did go and date because one, I just wanted to get out of my mother's house. That's the only thing. And so I got out of my mother's house. But it wasn't the right thing to do. It wasn't the right thing to do for that young lady. And she just wanted to force me into a marriage. She was older than me, maybe 48, so she was 10 years older than me, which I get it. As far as her age, she wanted to hurry up and get into a marriage. I did not. It wasn't the fact that I was divorced. It was the fact that it was moving too fast. So I just wanted to, like, take her time and. And I told this all to my ex wife as well. Like, we had a. We have a great friendship. So me and her, we will always talk about everything. In the midst of that, I was. I would ask, like, hey, I would love to remarry, I would love to reconcile. I would love to continue grow our family. And it was a no. I tried to push the question again and it was a no. So at that point I just focused on just know the friendship that we have. And my question is like should I just give up the idea of even trying to be an interview?

[A]

If you keep pushing, I call that sir. If you keep pushing, I call that pushing. Abusive behavior.

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[B]

All right?

[A]

And be her friend and their dad. You owe them both to be that, don't you think?

[B]

I do. I do. Thank you, Dr. Loy. I really needed that. Thank you.

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