I'm Afraid of Being Cheated On

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I'm Afraid of Being Cheated On"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode Title: I'm Afraid of Being Cheated On
• Release Date: March 30, 2025

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Introduction

In the March 30, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, host Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a listener's deep-seated fear of infidelity stemming from past experiences. The episode delves into themes of trust, personal responsibility, and overcoming emotional baggage to maintain healthy relationships.

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Caller’s Concerns

At 00:44, Tanya, the caller, shares her predicament:

Caller (00:52): "Me and my husband have been married for 20 years. Happily married. He's the love of my life. He treats me like gold. The feeling is very mutual. My problem is I was previously married and my previous husband had an affair on me. And I just can't seem to get over."

Tanya expresses that despite a fulfilling second marriage, her past experience with infidelity continues to haunt her, affecting her confidence and peace of mind.

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Dr. Laura’s Initial Response

Dr. Laura responds firmly at 01:18:

Dr. Laura (01:18): "That's the silliest thing you're about to say... you've had 20 wonderful years is what you just told me. So you have gotten over it."

She emphasizes that the longevity and happiness of Tanya's current marriage indicate that she has, in fact, moved past her previous trauma. Dr. Laura challenges Tanya's perception, suggesting that occasional memories are natural and expected.

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Addressing Confidence Issues

At 02:02, Tanya seeks advice on building confidence:

Caller (02:02): "Okay, so how. One more question, please. How do I bring up my confidence then? Like he talks."

Dr. Laura probes further at 02:11:

Dr. Laura (02:11): "Confidence in what? Confidence in what?... You are confident. You just told me in a very confident way what a great man. You love him, he loves you. You're totally confident."

She confronts Tanya's conflicting emotions, suggesting that her outward confidence reflects her true feelings, despite her lingering fears.

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Persistent Fears and Emotional Management

Tanya admits her fears persist at 02:39:

Caller (02:39): "Still. I have that fear that something bad's gonna happen."

Dr. Laura dismisses irrational fears at 06:43:

Dr. Laura (06:43): "Bad things are always going to happen, dear. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter... But anticipating something bad happening actually had power to keep it from happening, I would be recommending it every day."

She acknowledges that fear is a natural part of life but stresses the importance of not letting it dominate one's mindset.

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Strategies for Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Dr. Laura offers practical advice on managing negative thoughts:

Dr. Laura (07:18): "That's why you got to refocus."

When Tanya asks for methods to shift her mindset, Dr. Laura suggests engaging in pleasant and distracting activities:

Dr. Laura (07:58): "Take a walk, go for a swim, watch a dumb movie. Get your nails done. We do things that are pleasant and or distracting."

She emphasizes the importance of redirecting attention away from negative thoughts rather than suppressing them.

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Reaffirming Trust and Confidence

As the conversation progresses, Dr. Laura reinforces Tanya's trust in her current marriage:

Dr. Laura (08:33): "You are totally confident in your man and your marriage. I heard it."

This affirmation serves to bolster Tanya's self-assurance, encouraging her to enjoy her relationship fully.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In the closing moments, Dr. Laura underscores the importance of addressing insecurities early:

Dr. Laura (08:53): "You should have told me this a long time ago. He could have saved you a lot of stress."

Tanya expresses gratitude for the advice, and Dr. Laura wraps up the segment by encouraging listeners to cherish their relationships:

Dr. Laura (08:58): "Go enjoy your great guy."

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Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura (01:18): "That's the silliest thing you're about to say... you've had 20 wonderful years is what you just told me. So you have gotten over it."
• Dr. Laura (02:11): "You are confident. You just told me in a very confident way what a great man. You love him, he loves you. You're totally confident."
• Dr. Laura (07:58): "Take a walk, go for a swim, watch a dumb movie. Get your nails done. We do things that are pleasant and or distracting."
• Dr. Laura (08:33): "You are totally confident in your man and your marriage. I heard it."

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Key Takeaways

1. Self-Reflection: Recognizing and acknowledging one's fears is crucial in overcoming them.
2. Trust in the Present: A fulfilling current relationship is a testament to personal growth and the ability to move past previous hurts.
3. Positive Distraction: Engaging in enjoyable activities can redirect focus from negative thoughts.
4. Affirmation: Reinforcing trust and confidence in one's partner strengthens the relationship.

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This episode offers valuable insights for individuals grappling with lingering fears from past relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-assurance, trust, and proactive strategies to maintain emotional well-being.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Tanya, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi, Dr. Laura. How are you?

[Dr. Laura]

Good. What can I do for you?

[Caller]

Me and my husband have been married for 20 years. Happily married. He's the love of my life. He treats me like gold. The feeling is very mutual. My problem is I was previously married and my previous husband had an affair on me. And I just can't seem to get over.

[Dr. Laura]

That's the silliest thing you're about to say. Silliest thing I just can't get over. You just told me you're married 20 years to a great guy who loves you. You love him. You've had a great marriage, so obviously you have gotten over it. That your memory sometimes goes back to that. So what? That's what brains do. If you see a movie or somebody says something you might remember back. How would you. I could get a spoon, scoop out some part of your brain, and maybe I'd be lucky enough to get that memory out of there, but I think I would just mess your brain up pretty bad. But you've had 20 wonderful years is what you just told me. So you have gotten over it. Not getting over it would look like you couldn't date, you'd be a bitch, et cetera.

[Caller]

Okay, so how. One more question, please. How do I bring up my confidence then? Like he talks.

[Dr. Laura]

Confidence in what? Confidence in what? You're totally confident he won't betray you. You're totally confident of that? You're lying. This is you. You are confident. You just told me in a very confident way what a great man. You love him, he loves you. You're totally confident. What are you talking about? It's like you're talking about somebody other than you.

[Caller]

Still. I have that fear that something bad's gonna happen.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Come down with some dread stupid disease out of bad luck. This stuff happens all the time, so. Yeah, but there's not. If anticipating something bad happening actually had power to keep it from happening, I would be recommending it every day.

[Caller]

You're right.

[Dr. Laura]

You're just scared. You're scared of life, babe. And we all are. To some extent. To some extent, we all are. That's why you got to refocus.

[Caller]

Okay. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

I have things that I do when my brain goes into a negative space. What things do you do to get your brain out of a negative space?

[Caller]

What do I do? Just try not to think about bad things.

[Dr. Laura]

No. Try not to think of an elephant. The first thing you thought of was an elephant. Come on, stop it. Don't tell me silly things.

[Caller]

Bring myself to a better place. Enjoy the things.

[Dr. Laura]

Have you just read too many pop psych bullshit books? Take a walk, go for a swim, Watch a dumb movie. Get your nails done. We do things that are pleasant. That's what we do. We do something that's pleasant and or distracting. We don't entertain. It's like, okay, a bird landed on your head, AKA the memory. The bird landed on your head. Don't make it. Don't allow it to build a nest.

[Caller]

You're right.

[Dr. Laura]

And you are totally confident in your man and your marriage. I heard it.

[Caller]

Ah, thank you, Dr. Laura. I needed to hear that from you though.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, well, you should have told me this a long time ago. He could have saved you a lot of stress.

[Caller]

Oh, that's why I love you so much. Listening to you, I love it.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, thank you. So go enjoy your great guy. All right. Go enjoy him. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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