I'm Changing to Save My Marriage

Summary

Summary of "I'm Changing to Save My Marriage" Episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Release Date: June 3, 2025

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers profound insights and practical advice on salvaging a struggling marriage. The episode primarily revolves around a heartfelt call from Megan, who shares her journey of self-improvement to save her marriage, followed by Dr. Laura's expert guidance on maintaining marital harmony and overcoming resentment.

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Megan's Journey: From Despair to Renewal

Megan’s Call:
At 00:36, Megan reaches out to Dr. Laura during a particularly challenging period in her marriage. She recounts a pivotal moment when her husband expressed his desire to leave their relationship, prompting her to introspect deeply about her behavior.

Megan (00:47):
"I called on Monday at a pretty low point in my life because my husband the night before had told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. And it caused me to take a deep look inside at my actions, my behavior."

Through this self-examination, Megan realizes that she had taken her husband for granted, failing to provide him with the love and respect he deserved. Her actions, such as undermining him in front of their three young children, had eroded the foundation of their relationship.

Turning Point:
Megan emphasizes the transformative impact of Dr. Laura’s audiobook on her life:

Megan (approximately 01:10):
"I listened to your book, the audiobook that you wrote about proper care and feeding of your husband. And it has honestly changed my life."

By implementing the strategies and insights from the audiobook, Megan initiates significant positive changes. She apologizes to her husband, allows him to take the lead, and prioritizes their relationship over her previous negative behaviors. These efforts lead to remarkable improvements, steering their marriage away from the brink of divorce.

Megan’s Gratitude:
Expressing heartfelt thanks, Megan acknowledges the wisdom and support she gained from Dr. Laura:

Megan (02:40):
"I just want to say thank you for your wisdom and sharing it all."

Dr. Laura commends Megan for her openness and courage, reinforcing the importance of self-awareness and proactive change in nurturing a healthy marriage.

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Addressing the Fear of Resentment Returning

Megan’s Concern:
After sharing her initial success, Megan voices a lingering fear of old resentments resurfacing:

Megan (03:04):
"Now that we're here and we've, I guess, in a way, made it to the other side, I don't. I'm afraid of those feelings of resentment and, you know, times that I've been hurt by him creeping back in and I just don't ever want to get to."

Dr. Laura’s Guidance:
Dr. Laura reassures Megan by advocating a continuous engagement with the strategies that facilitated her marital turnaround:

Dr. Laura (03:28):
"Then pick up the book again. When you feel yourself sliding backwards, pick up the book again."

She emphasizes the importance of revisiting foundational principles to prevent the resurgence of negative emotions and behaviors.

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Maintaining Marital Harmony: Letting Go of Minor Annoyances

Dr. Laura’s Insights:
Delving deeper into marital dynamics, Dr. Laura discusses the inevitability of minor annoyances and the critical role of forgiveness and perspective in a lasting marriage.

Dr. Laura (05:55):
"There's no way to get through life without somebody being annoyed about something. Good marriages are to some extent founded on people having the wisdom to know when to let it go as opposed to being resentful of it."

She underscores that learning to let go of trivial irritations is essential for marital longevity. To illustrate this, Dr. Laura shares relatable anecdotes:

1. Story of Lost Spouse and Socks:

   • A woman mourns her deceased husband by longing for the familiar annoyance of him leaving socks around, indicating that some minor frustrations are a testament to a lived-in and affectionate relationship.

2. Dr. Laura’s Personal Anecdotes:

   • Lights Left On:
     Dr. Laura:
     "My husband finally gave up being annoyed about how I don't turn lights out when I walk out of a room. I don't. I mean, I still don't. I might want to go back in the room."

   • Closet Doors Not Fully Closed:
     Dr. Laura:
     "I'd open up a closet door in the kitchen or something and not close it all the way. Well, it should have closed by itself. I pushed it hard enough anyway. And after a while, it's just a laugh."

These stories highlight how enduring minor annoyances with humor and understanding can strengthen a marriage, transforming potential points of contention into shared laughter and intimacy.

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Conclusion and Continued Support

As the episode concludes, Dr. Laura reaffirms her support for Megan and all listeners facing similar challenges. She encourages continuous engagement with her resources and community:

Dr. Laura (08:02):
"My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there."

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Key Takeaways

• Self-Reflection is Crucial: Megan’s story illustrates the importance of introspection in recognizing and rectifying detrimental behaviors within a marriage.

• Continuous Learning: Dr. Laura emphasizes the necessity of revisiting foundational principles to maintain marital harmony and prevent old issues from resurfacing.

• Letting Go of Minor Annoyances: Successful marriages often rely on the ability to overlook trivial irritations, fostering a more forgiving and loving relationship.

• Humor and Shared Experiences: Transforming minor frustrations into shared laughter can significantly contribute to marital resilience and intimacy.

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This episode serves as a testament to the power of personal accountability, continuous self-improvement, and the enduring strength of committed relationships. Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides not only a platform for sharing personal stories but also actionable advice that listeners can apply to cultivate healthier and more fulfilling marriages.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Megan, welcome to the program.

[Megan]

Hello, Dr. Lara.

[Dr. Laura]

Hello, Megan. How can I help?

[Megan]

Hi. One moment, please. Let me.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Megan]

Get to the other room. I. I called on Monday at a pretty low point in my life because my husband the night before had told me he didn't. He didn't want to be with me anymore. And it caused me to take a deep look inside at my actions, my behavior. And I realized that I hadn't given him the love that he deserved. I took him for granted and I constantly undermined him in front of our three young children. I have made changes. And I listened to your book, the audiobook that you wrote about proper care and feeding of your husband. And it has honestly changed my life. Because while I thought we were on the verge of tipping off this ledge into divorce, I made huge changes and I apologized and I let him take the lead. And it's truly made a difference. And I just want to say thank you for your wisdom and sharing it all.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, thank you for being open to it. That's the most important part. Good for you. I'm proud of you.

[Megan]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. Call back anytime. Okay.

[Megan]

No. Can I ask you one more question?

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, of course. Sorry. Yes, go ahead.

[Megan]

Now that we're here and we've, I guess, in a way, made it to the other side, I don't. I'm afraid of those feelings of resentment and, you know, times that I've been hurt by him creeping back in and I just don't ever want to get to.

[Dr. Laura]

Then pick up the book again. Then pick up the book again. When you feel yourself sliding backwards, pick up the book again. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All free. Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean, you can feel good about all you need is all free.

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[Dr. Laura]

By the way, thank you. There's no way to get through life with somebody not be annoyed about something. Good marriages are to some extent founded on people having the wisdom to know when to let it go as opposed to being resentful of it. Okay, we all have little annoyances. My favorite quickie story about this is the woman who wrote in that she was tired of listening to women bitch about their husbands and be resentful for this, that and the other thing. Because when her husband was alive, he would leave socks everywhere. Dirty socks everywhere. She used to get really exasperated and angry with him, and now all she can think about since he died, she gets up, gets out of bed and would give anything to see socks on the floor because it would mean he wasn't dead. Yeah, so some things are just not that big a deal. My husband finally gave up being annoyed about how I don't turn lights out when I walk out of a room. I don't. I mean, I still don't. I might want to go back in the room. So. And the other thing was sort of I'd open up a closet door in the kitchen or something and not close it all the way. Well, it should have closed by itself. I pushed it hard enough anyway. And after a while, it's just a laugh. That's how you know your spouse isn't dead. Do you see what I mean?

[Megan]

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Well, thank you very much.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, thank you for taking the book to heart. I am very proud of you. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com DrLora and instagram.com DrLauraprogram.

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