I'm Looking for That "First Love" Feeling

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "I'm Looking for That 'First Love' Feeling"

Episode Details:

• Title: I'm Looking for That "First Love" Feeling
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Channel: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: February 16, 2025

Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the complexities of seeking the elusive "first love" feeling in this engaging episode of her widely acclaimed podcast, Dr. Laura Call of the Day. Addressing listeners' concerns with her characteristic no-nonsense approach, she provides insightful advice on navigating romantic relationships with maturity and self-awareness.

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Guest Introduction and Initial Concern [01:15 - 03:12]

Kevin's Dilemma: Kevin, a 27-year-old single man, reaches out to Dr. Laura to discuss his ongoing struggle to recapture the intense "first love" feeling he experienced at 19. Despite dating multiple individuals over the years, he feels that none have matched the profound connection he once felt with his first girlfriend.

Kevin [01:21]: "Ever since I was 19 and ever since I dated a girl when I was 19... I feel like I've never found that sort of feeling than I did with her compared to anybody else."

Dr. Laura's Initial Response: Dr. Laura acknowledges Kevin's feelings but emphasizes that the intensity he experienced was a product of youth and inexperience. She suggests that expecting the same fervor in later relationships is unrealistic and could hinder his ability to form deeper, more mature connections.

Dr. Laura [02:26]: "You will never feel that way again because that's how a 19-year-old boy feels... it's exciting and you're inexperienced, not mature yet."

Mid-Episode Discussion and Extended Insights [06:30 - 09:08]

Embracing Mature Love: After a brief interlude of advertisements, the conversation resumes with Dr. Laura reinforcing the importance of seeking mature love. She advises Kevin to look for partners with whom he feels comfortable, safe, and truly connected on a deeper level, rather than chasing the fleeting intensity of first love.

Dr. Laura [06:31]: "You should be looking for someone with whom you feel really comfortable, content, safe, can be yourself."

Clarifying Misunderstandings: A moment of confusion arises when Dr. Laura mistakenly believes Kevin is 47 years old instead of 27. Upon clarification, she reassures him that he still has ample time to develop meaningful relationships and mature emotionally.

Dr. Laura [07:12]: "Well, you still have years to mature. But don't panic."

Practical Relationship Advice: Dr. Laura cautions against casual sexual relationships, highlighting that they can undermine the ability to form meaningful emotional bonds. She stresses that having sex with every person one dates can dilute the significance of relationships and prevent individuals from achieving genuine intimacy.

Dr. Laura [08:12]: "Stop having sex with every girl you date. That's ruining your head."

Kevin's Acknowledgment: Kevin concurs with Dr. Laura's advice, sharing that he has learned this lesson through his experiences.

Kevin [08:26]: "No, I've learned that the hard way."

Concluding Remarks: Dr. Laura wraps up the discussion by encouraging Kevin to continue seeking mature, fulfilling relationships and reassures him of his capacity to find lasting love beyond the initial excitement of youth.

Dr. Laura [08:35]: "As long as you've learned it, I'm good."

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Key Takeaways:

• Youth and Intensity: The "first love" feeling is often heightened by youthful inexperience and emotional immaturity.
• Mature Love: As individuals grow, their understanding and expression of love evolve to encompass deeper qualities such as comfort, safety, and mutual respect.
• Meaningful Connections: Avoiding casual sexual relationships can enhance the depth and significance of romantic bonds.
• Personal Growth: Emotional maturity plays a crucial role in forming lasting and meaningful relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura [02:26]: "If you're waiting for that, you're gonna die solo."
• Dr. Laura [08:12]: "Stop having sex with every girl you date because then it all becomes less and less meaningful."

Conclusion:

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers profound insights into the transition from youthful infatuation to mature, enduring love. By addressing Kevin's concerns with empathy and practical advice, she underscores the importance of emotional growth and intentional relationship-building. Listeners are encouraged to seek meaningful connections that foster long-term happiness and stability.

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Connect with Dr. Laura: For personalized advice, listeners can call 1-800-DR-LAURA or join her live radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111. Visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member and access more resources.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Kevin]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for having me on.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome.

[Kevin]

I'm just gonna get straight into it because I know you're a straight shooter and I've always appreciated that about your show and you in general. I'm 27 years old, I'm single, currently seeing a couple of people, nothing super serious and as I've been dating in my personal in my life these last these years, I've only really been dating since I was 19 and the word love is interesting to me and the feeling of love is subjective. But ever since I was 19 and ever since I dated a girl when I was 19 and she was we were each other's first everything and it only lasted about six months but. This is going to sound ridiculous, but that feeling that I've had for this person, this woman, it went away eventually after a couple years. But I feel like I've never found that sort of feeling than I did with her compared to anybody else who I've seen and I've dated around quite a bit.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, I'll agree with you Kevin. You will never feel that way again because that's how a 19 year old boy feels.

[Kevin]

I know. It's crazy, right?

[Dr. Laura]

No, you don't know. No, you don't know. You shouldn't have flippantly said that. The reason you will never feel that way again because that's the emotional status and maturity of a 19 year old boy. And that was the feeling. First time feeling intimate with a woman. First time having sex. First, first, first, first. It's very exciting and you're inexperienced, not mature yet. That's what it feels like. So you're never going to feel that way again. If you're waiting for that, you're gonna die solo.

[Kevin]

Yeah, you're right.

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[Dr. Laura]

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[Kevin]

Yeah, I need to.

[Dr. Laura]

You should be looking for someone with whom you feel really comfortable, content, safe, can be yourself. That's not what you're looking for at 19. At 19, you're looking for. And now you need to look for a more mature love.

[Kevin]

Yeah. Yeah, that's right on the money.

[Dr. Laura]

So think about the qualities I just said. Comfortable, safe, warm, loving, loved. Love it. This at your 47. You said you're 47. Did I hear that right?

[Kevin]

No, I'm 27.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, I thought I heard you say 47. Well, you still have years to mature. But don't panic.

[Kevin]

I know they will come.

[Dr. Laura]

But you're never going to feel that way again. And I hope you never do. Because it's insane, it's not rational, and it's overwhelming and it takes over your whole life. And fortunately, as we get more mature, we don't do that anymore. We start looking at somebody with warmth and admiration and feeling of kindness and compassion and safety and attraction and all of that. But it's much calmer.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So stop having sex with every girl you date. That's ruining your head.

[Kevin]

Yeah, really.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop having sex with every girl you date because then it all becomes less and less meaningful.

[Kevin]

No, I've learned that the hard way.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. All right. Well, as long as you've learned it, I'm good.

[Kevin]

Yeah. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. Call anytime. Take care. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast? Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[E]

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