I'm Not Superwoman!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I'm Not Superwoman!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: I'm Not Superwoman!
• Release Date: June 21, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses the overwhelming challenges faced by caregivers who find themselves shouldering immense responsibilities without adequate support. The episode, titled "I'm Not Superwoman!," delves deep into the emotional and physical toll of long-term caregiving, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and seeking assistance.

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Caller’s Story: Colette’s Journey

Colette’s Background and Caregiving Responsibilities ([00:35] - [03:25])

Colette shares her arduous journey as a dedicated caregiver for both her mother, who battled Alzheimer's, and her mother-in-law, who suffered from diabetes and other disabilities. For over two decades, Colette and her husband managed the care of these elderly women, maintaining separate residences while eventually consolidating into one household to better manage their responsibilities.

Key Challenges and Husband’s Illness ([03:25] - [07:00])

The narrative takes a dramatic turn when Colette’s husband, initially diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, suffers a severe fall resulting in three brain bleeds. This incident marks the beginning of a series of health setbacks, including a subsequent diagnosis of progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP), a condition that rapidly deteriorates mobility and cognitive functions. Colette describes the compounded stress of managing her husband’s declining health alongside the care for her ailing mother and mother-in-law.

Family Dynamics and Lack of Support ([07:00] - [10:30])

Despite years of relentless caregiving, Colette faces indifference and lack of support from extended family members on both sides. Frustrated and near a nervous breakdown, she reaches out to her siblings, seeking assistance in transferring care responsibilities. However, her pleas are met with outright refusal, forcing Colette to make the painful decision to send her mother-in-law back to her family in Chicago. This decision is a pivotal moment for Colette, symbolizing her need to reclaim her life and prioritize her immediate family’s well-being.

Colette ([06:25]): "I really needed help. So I reached out to Jack's family and I said, listen, you know, my mom, my mom at the time, she was really sick. It was before she died. And I said, I really need help here."

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Dr. Laura’s Guidance and Insights

Confronting Family Negligence ([10:30] - [12:07])

Dr. Laura does not mince words when addressing the core issue of familial neglect. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing when it’s time to step away from unsustainable caregiving roles.

Dr. Laura ([10:30]): "The topic of this call is now you're a shithead and you're not F Them."

Dr. Laura advises Colette to firmly establish boundaries with her unhelpful family members, advocating for self-care and the acknowledgment that caregiving should not come at the cost of one’s own mental and physical health.

Empowerment and Validation ([12:07] - [13:11])

In the concluding segment, Dr. Laura commends Colette for her strength and resilience. She underscores the distinction between true family and mere relatives, highlighting the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and compassionate individuals.

Dr. Laura ([12:40]): "There's a big difference between people who are relatives and people who are family. And they were never."

Dr. Laura reinforces the notion that Colette made the right decision to prioritize her immediate family's needs over the demands of extended relatives who failed to offer support.

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Conclusion

"I'm Not Superwoman!" serves as a poignant reminder of the often invisible burdens carried by caregivers. Through Colette’s heartfelt account and Dr. Laura’s forthright advice, the episode sheds light on the necessity of seeking help, setting healthy boundaries, and recognizing one’s limits. Dr. Laura’s empathetic yet no-nonsense approach provides both solace and practical guidance for listeners navigating similar struggles.

Notable Quotes:

• Colette ([06:25]): "I really needed help. So I reached out to Jack's family and I said, listen, you know, my mom... I really need help here."
• Dr. Laura ([10:30]): "The topic of this call is now you're a shithead and you're not F Them."
• Dr. Laura ([12:40]): "There's a big difference between people who are relatives and people who are family. And they were never."

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Additional Resources

Listeners seeking further support and stories can connect with Dr. Laura through her social media platforms:

• Facebook: facebook.com/drlaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/drlauraprogram

For personalized advice and support, Dr. Laura encourages reaching out via her hotline:

• Phone: [phone]

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Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, introductions, and other non-content segments to focus solely on the meaningful and impactful discussions between Colette and Dr. Laura.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX XM Triumph 111. Colette. Welcome to the program.

[Colette]

Hi, how are you?

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. Good. How can I help?

[Colette]

Well, I have an interesting problem and I'm very upset about it. Me and my husband have been caretakers for my mother and my mother in law for over about 20 years now. And we always knew what's wrong with.

[Dr. Laura]

These women that they need caretakering.

[Colette]

Well, my mother has Alzheimer's and my.

[Dr. Laura]

20 years ago she had Alzheimer's.

[Colette]

Well, the beginning stages. I'm 62. She's, she was 88. She passed recently.

[Dr. Laura]

I see.

[Colette]

But my, My husband is 11 years older than me. He is 6, 73. And we, we just always knew we were their caretakers. We were the ones that always took care of them. And his mother has diabetes, she's disabled. And we just always pulled together as a team and it got to the point where we had three places to live and we all lived adjacent on properties each owned by each other, you know. But it got too much for me to take care of and I kind of wanted to retire and spend some time with my husband. So I found a really beautiful area that was a lot less rural because we lived in rural Tennessee, Copper Hill, Tennessee. And it had, you know, boating and tennis and racquetball and golf. My husband loves golf. And we all moved in together into one house. My husband and I purchased it and the moms were, they did whatever they wanted to do with their property. Now my mom's property, half of it was mine, so we just rented it out for the time being. But anyway, to make a long story short, we no sooner moved into this beautiful area, beautiful house, transformed it into disabled for everybody. And my husband got sick. And my husband was diagnosed. Well, he got sick and he was originally diagnosed with Parkinson's. And that was a hard pill to swallow. But I was like, we can handle this. We can do this. You know. And so then we, we were cleaning up the house one day and my husband walked up the back stairs, which is exactly 13 steps. And he got to the top Step and fell backwards and down he went and he hit his head on the concrete and he had three brain bleeds.

[Dr. Laura]

And.

[Colette]

It was. My whole life went upside down. So I've come to find out that after he, he, he healed, he healed. He crushed his inside, entire side of his body, but he healed. And I was with him and we were working together and I was still taking care of the moms and. And then they diagnosed him with psp, which a lot of people don't know what that is. It's progressive supranuclear palsy. And what it is, it's very progressive. So one week they're doing something and then next week they're not doing it anymore. So my husband continued to get progressively worse. My mother continued to get progressively worse. She wound up getting sick four times in and out of hospitals. My mom passed, and then my mother in law, she had broken a bone and she went in and out of hospitals and I had gotten her through five surgeries and she was, she's still going. She's 90 years old, she's in good shape. And my mom died. And then I was with a husband who was really ill and a mom who passed. And our siblings on both sides really never really gave enough of a crap to do anything about it. And that's why we were their caretakers. But at this point, I really needed help. So I reached out to Jack's family and I said, listen, you know, my mom, my mom at the time, she was really sick. It was before she died. And I said, I really need help here. I really need help. I need somebody to take over maybe taking care of Betty Mae, which is my mother in law. And they said, absolutely not. Nope, nope, can do. I said, how about contributing? And I can get her into a really nice facility and we could all contribute. No, no, cannot do that. So then my mom passed and I was near a nervous breakdown, I really was. And because I really didn't think she was gonna pass. And that's what a caretaker does. They want to keep them as long as they can, but anyway, not go on and on forever. I had to do a funeral. And I'm from up north in New York and most of my family is. So we plan the funeral up in New York. And I told Betty Mae, you know, that she was going to have to go stay with her family. And I bought her a ticket to go to Chicago and I had an epiphany, she wasn't coming back and they were just going to have to deal with it. And that's what I did because nobody was going to let me out of this contract. Lifelong contract.

[Dr. Laura]

Who was on the other end to collect?

[Colette]

Well, Jack's brother. Jack's brother picked her up from the airport and they have a big, beautiful home and they have lots of family. Most of her family is up in Chicago. I had a long talk with her and I said, you know, if anything happens to Jack, I'm not your executor of your estate. I can't help you. And I don't know what I'm going to even do. So you really need to go with family. Family plus, I really didn't watch her, want her to watch her son.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, so die. Where are we? Where are we today?

[Colette]

Where are we today? Today I am taking care of my husband and I'm trying to get him as much help as he can get. My whole life is turned upside down and I'm getting a lot of stress from. From my family, from Jack's family.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, let me get in here. Let me get in here. Let me get in here.

[Colette]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

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I subscribe to Multiverse Madness.

[Dr. Laura]

Hey, Morty.

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Hey, Rick.

[Dr. Laura]

I subscribe to Carrie's catchphrases. Hello lovers on Prime Video. I subscribe to whatever I choose all the channels I love in one app.

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I subscribe to Max.

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I added on Build My World. I control my scroll because I choose.

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What I subscribe to and where I do it.

[Dr. Laura]

On Prime Video, Rick and Morty. And just like that, available on Max. Okay, this is one of those times I wish I could say the word on air, but I swore I would never do it. You ready?

[Colette]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So I'm just not gonna. I'm gonna give one initial. You ready?

[Colette]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

F Them. You must be kidding.

[Colette]

That's what I. But that's what I said this morning and I've never said that to anybody. Well, honey, they call his family.

[Dr. Laura]

No, stop. I heard it.

[Colette]

Woohoo.

[Dr. Laura]

I heard enough. He's got self centered family and they were quite happy to have you do it. And it infuriates me to hear this whole story because everybody seems to be waiting until they're old to be freed up to do stuff. And typically, not totally, but typically when you get older, medical things happen.

[Colette]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

And you die.

[Colette]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

So I would have argued you out of being the caretaker for everybody in the first place.

[Colette]

Well, I. I am doing that. I am doing that. My husband. I just bought a wheelchair that he can mobilize himself.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't, don't go on. Don't go on. Don't go, don't go on. The topic of this call is now you're a shithead and you're not F Them. And you make sure Jack's brother knows Betty Mae ain't coming back.

[Colette]

Oh, I'm pretty sure he knows that after today.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. Okay. It's about their time. And I'm sorry that you guys put out all this effort and now Jack's in a bad shape. Is this going to curtail longevity at all?

[Colette]

Oh, yeah. This is a very aggressive disease. A lot of people don't know about it. It's just starting to make headway.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, how long, how long do you think you two have to be together?

[Colette]

About five years. And that's a lot.

[Dr. Laura]

Will he know what's happening in all those five years?

[Colette]

Probably not. Maybe three. Okay, so that's, that's what I'm gonna do. We're gonna, we're gonna go. We got, I got a, a handicap van, I got a mobile, a mobile unit for him to get in and out and walk around. And we're getting out of the house. And we're gonna go do some things. Just gonna drive, do some things.

[Dr. Laura]

And you're an amazing woman, Colette. You're an amazing woman.

[Colette]

Well, I'm so sad, though, because I lost a family that I had for 20 years. You know?

[Dr. Laura]

I know.

[Colette]

And I know they're assholes, and I know that I shouldn't feel bad, but I still do. And I kept on saying, sweetheart, of.

[Dr. Laura]

Course you feel bad, but you didn't have them as family.

[Colette]

You're right. You're right.

[Dr. Laura]

There's a big difference between people who are relatives and people who are family. And they were never.

[Colette]

I knew that, and I'll tell you how I know that. My brother watched me almost have a breakdown. And he called Jack's brother and he said, I'm gonna drive your mother up to you, or you're gonna come get her. One way or the other, your mom is gonna live with you. And that's family. That's family.

[Dr. Laura]

Your brother is family. Okay. I'm glad you're clear. Well, my heart aches for you. It's sort of never ending, but you are an amazing woman. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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