I'm Offended!

Summary

Podcast Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode: I'm Offended!
Release Date: May 31, 2025

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Introduction

In the "I'm Offended!" episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a marital dispute brought forth by her listeners, Brad and Jill. The episode delves into issues of personal responsibility, marital roles, and the quest for individual fulfillment within a long-term marriage.

Background of Callers: Brad and Jill

Brad and Jill have been married for 31 years and are parents to two adult children, aged 28 and 26. Brad has managed his own financial services business for 38 years, while Jill spent those years as a stay-at-home mom. Recently, a conflict has arisen concerning Brad's decision to bring a partner into his business.

The Issue: Introducing Brad’s Business Partner’s Significant Other

Brad explains that he introduced a new partner with significant experience to help transition his business responsibilities. This partner, whom Brad refers to as his "Sigo" (later clarified as a boyfriend), was brought into handle administrative tasks, allowing Brad to maintain control over business decisions.

• Brad: "I've been working for, you know, in a financial services business pretty much on my own for 38 years. And we're having a little dispute right now because a partner that I brought in with a lot of experience to, you know, somewhat transition the business. Brought in his partner. Yeah, his Sigo, as I call him." ([01:38])

Jill expresses her frustration, feeling sidelined and desiring her own role now that the children have grown up.

• Jill: "I just got upset because I feel like he, his partner gave, you know, his boyfriend whatever a job. And you know, since the kids have, are grown and out, you know, I've always been looking for a little something to do." ([02:42])

Dr. Laura’s Initial Response

Dr. Laura acknowledges Jill's desire for personal fulfillment but urges her to seek her own path rather than relying on Brad's business partnership.

• Dr. Laura: "If your husband said no, it's no. If you'd like to do something now that the kids are out, you'll have to be very brave, take risks and find your own thing." ([05:20])

She emphasizes that Jill's happiness should not be contingent upon working with her husband, highlighting the potential pitfalls of such an arrangement.

Jill’s Perspective: Seeking Fulfillment and Flexibility

Jill fears that refusing the partnership might distance her from meaningful work and fears the loss of flexibility in managing household responsibilities.

• Jill: "He likes reading Home too. And he likes to do things. And, and so it would give me the flexibility to still be able to work and take care of." ([08:11])

Dr. Laura’s Deeper Analysis

Dr. Laura challenges Jill's expectations, pointing out that relying on Brad to provide opportunities may lead to resentment and imbalance in their marriage.

• Dr. Laura: "That's not his job... You're wanting everything easy handed to you. That's not fair." ([08:21])

She stresses the importance of Jill taking initiative to explore her interests independently, allowing for personal growth and reducing dependency on Brad's business decisions.

Brad’s Concerns: Unsupportive Environment

Brad interjects to highlight the unhealthy nature of involving personal relationships in business, reinforcing concerns about the future dynamics between him and Jill.

• Brad: "My point all along, Dr. Laura, was that I don't think it's a healthy environment." ([06:06])

Final Advice: Encouraging Independence

Dr. Laura concludes by urging Jill to experiment with new activities and interests on her own, assuring her that this path will lead to greater marital harmony and personal satisfaction.

• Dr. Laura: "I'm just asking you to go experiment on your own so that you have exciting things to bring home to talk to Brad about." ([06:03])

She advises Jill to take her time exploring different avenues, recognizing that initial attempts may not always be successful but persistence will lead to fulfillment.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Dr. Laura encouraging Jill to reach out for further guidance, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility and independence within a marriage. Brad and Jill acknowledge the advice, with Brad expressing relief over the conversation's direction.

• Dr. Laura: "So, Jill, this is my offer. Think about this for a week, call me back by yourself, and let's talk about what kinds of things you might experiment with." ([10:09])

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Notable Quotes:

• Brad on Business Partnership:
  "And he's just going to do admin work. Right. So I came home tonight, today and told my wife about it and she, she, she got upset and this has kind of been an ongoing thing with us." ([02:04])

• Jill on Personal Fulfillment:
  "I've always been looking for a little something to do and I thought, okay, Jill." ([02:35])

• Dr. Laura on Personal Initiative:
  "You're wanting everything easy handed to you. That's not fair." ([08:21])

• Dr. Laura Encouraging Exploration:
  "I'm just asking you to go experiment on your own so that you have exciting things to bring home to talk to Brad about." ([06:03])

Key Takeaways

• Personal Responsibility: Jill is encouraged to seek her own interests and passions independently, rather than relying on her husband's business decisions.

• Marital Balance: Dr. Laura highlights the importance of balance in marriage, where both partners pursue individual fulfillment without undermining each other's roles.

• Healthy Boundaries in Business: Brad's discomfort with mixing personal relationships and business underscores the need for clear boundaries to maintain a healthy marital relationship.

• Encouragement to Take Risks: Dr. Laura emphasizes the value of taking risks and stepping out of one's comfort zone to achieve personal growth and satisfaction.

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For more insightful discussions and personal advice, visit DrLaura.com and become a Family member!

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Brad and Jill, welcome to the program.

[Brad]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Just want to say we really appreciate you and I hope that I don't have to. Woohoo. You. Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Hi, Jill.

[Jill]

Hi.

[Dr. Laura]

So, Doctor, you guys married?

[Brad]

Oh, yeah, we've been married for 31 years. Two kids, 28 and 26. I've been working, I've been working for, you know, in a, in a, in a financial services business pretty much on my own for 38 years. And we're having a little, and I.

[Jill]

Was a stay at home mom.

[Brad]

Yeah. And we're having a little dispute right now because a partner that I brought in with a lot of experience to, you know, somewhat transition the business. Brought in his partner. Yeah, his Sigo, as I call him. Significant other.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know what that is. Is that his, what is that his sex friend or a wife or. Significant other doesn't tell me anything.

[Brad]

Okay. All right. Well, a girlfriend.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, two gay guys. He brought in his gay friend, his partner to do what in the company. Did you agree to this?

[Brad]

I'm sorry?

[Dr. Laura]

Did you agree to this as part of your deal?

[Brad]

Essentially, you know, I would say that I would, I would call all the shots and, and the business. And he's just going to do admin work. Right. So I came home tonight, today and told my wife about it and she, she, she got upset and this has kind of been an ongoing thing with us.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, if you could. Hold on a second, Brad. Hold on a second, Brad. Jill, what did you get upset over?

[Jill]

Well, I just got upset because I feel like he, his partner gave, you know, his boyfriend whatever a job. And you know, since the kids have, are grown and out, you know, I've always been looking for a little something to do and I thought, okay, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill. Yep.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

If your husband said no, it's no. If you'd like to do something now that the kids are out, you'll have to be very brave, take risks and find your own thing. He doesn't want to do it, right? It's not an insult to you. He doesn't want to do it. And the no wins. It's his business. So. So Jill, I understand that you're incredibly desirous of having something to do, and working with your husband sounds like a very safe place to go. Well, I'm asking you to not take the safe, easy route, but to risk finding your own voice elsewhere. I think you'd have something more to bring to the marriage and I think you'd be happier than Having him be your boss.

[Jill]

Right, I get it. I do get that.

[Brad]

My point all along, Dr. Laura, was that I don't think it's a healthy environment.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, Brad, but I didn't ask you for your opinion. You've already given it to her many times. I'm talking to Jill now. I understand you weren't listening to what I said. Sir, be quiet for a moment, will you? I know you're used to being the boss, but on this show, I be the boss. Okay? So Jill is looking at this as a safe, easy way to now do something else. And your answer? No. I don't care why. It's no. It's no. And I think, Jill, you should not want him to be your boss because the first time he rips you for doing something stupid or bad or clumsy or something, you're going to have a screaming fit or throw yourself off a cliff, whichever it is. So I understand that this seems sort of quick and dirty, easy, but I like you to take your time to figure out what you really would like to try. Now the first three things you try may be not for you. So maybe the fourth thing you try, you will love. So I'm just asking you to go experiment on. On your own so that you have exciting things to bring home to talk to Brad about.

[Brad]

Right? Exactly.

[Jill]

Do you. Can I ask you something? Do you feel that way? He doesn't want it. I mean, if he wanted it, would you still feel that way if he was.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes.

[Jill]

Yes was a good idea.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes. Because I understand what's motivating you.

[Jill]

What is motivating?

[Brad]

Safe.

[Dr. Laura]

You're bored. Okay, Jill. Jill, Twice. I kind of explained it. Did. Did I not resonate? Was I wrong?

[Jill]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

And if so, in what way was I wrong? I. I need to know.

[Jill]

He likes reading Home too. And he likes to do things. And, and so it would give me the flexibility to still be able to work and take care of.

[Dr. Laura]

That's not his job. That's not his job to make your life easier in that way because you're bored and want to do something else. You probably have to give up something in order to go out and find something else to do. It won't be flexible. You're wanting everything easy handed to you. That's not fair.

[Brad]

Okay, well, can I interject one other thing? Is that. Okay, so it, you know, it gets even deeper where, you know, Jill is, Is. Is. It's not just her that wants to come in. She wanted me to bring the kids in. And I just think that.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, we don't really need to go down this route, Brad. Jill, you're being disrespectful to your husband.

[Jill]

Okay, okay.

[Dr. Laura]

It's your kid's job to find work for themselves. It's your job to find some other work for yourself. It's not his job to provide it. That happens in some families. But every family I've talked to on the air in which that happened, it didn't work. Well, because people have expectations and then anger when they don't get what they want. Because after all, you're my dad. I'm your son, I'm your daughter, I'm your wife. It would be a nightmare for Brad. Nightmare.

[Brad]

Exactly.

[Dr. Laura]

And you would probably, Jill, defend your kids against your husband. Not a good plan.

[Brad]

Yep, I agree. And I'm. I'm really happy that I didn't have to woohoo you once during this whole conversation.

[Dr. Laura]

Woohoo. I just threw that in.

[Brad]

Thank you.

[Jill]

Thank you so much, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

So, Jill, this is my offer. Think about this for a week, call me back by yourself, and let's talk about what kinds of things you might experiment with.

[Jill]

Okay? Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

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