
Bella went camping with her boyfriend and is noticing qualities in him that she doesn’t like. What should she do? Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.
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Podcast Host
Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. So try it free. Meet your job's Perfect match@ziprecruiter.com DrLora Remember, you can hear my radio program Daily
Dr. Laura
on Sirius XM Triumph and Connect with Me 247@drlaura.com mom and Bella yes, we are both here.
Bella
Thank you.
Bella's Mother
Thank you.
Dr. Laura
You're welcome.
Podcast Host
Bella, how old are you?
Bella
I'm 16.
Dr. Laura
And how can I help you?
Bella
So this weekend we went camping with my boyfriend of a year and I've just like seen some qualities this weekend that just don't sit right with me. Like he's not helping out, like common sense. And I feel like it's my role
Bella's Mother
to like, take care of.
Dr. Laura
Do you know what dating is for at any age?
Bella
Yes, ma'. Am. It's for marriage.
Dr. Laura
What's it for? No, not at 16. Not at 16. No, it's not what you think. You're dating for marriage at 16?
Bella
Well, I wanted to get married at 18.
Dr. Laura
Oh, that's really foolish. The divorce rate of people marrying under 28 is huge. You don't have the maturity and the life experience to make a choice in a man, know what you want, and be able to handle life together. So I vote no. But if you want to define it that way, the purpose of dating is to discern whether or not you're a match. If you already see that he has qualities unbecoming of somebody you'd eventually like to have be your husband. Then you dump him. You don't try to fix him. You don't try to change him. You dump him. Because the point of dating is to see if somebody is dumpable or capable.
Bella's Mother
Mm.
Bella
What age do you think is appropriate age to get married in?
Dr. Laura
About 28. The divorce rate dives precipitously when people get married 28 and up because the maturity is really important and the life experience really knowing yourself, being able to discern things about life, being able to handle things with another person, takes time to develop that.
Podcast Host
Dear.
Dr. Laura
We don't plant grapes and turn them into wine in three hours.
Bella's Mother
I wish we could.
Dr. Laura
Yeah, honey. I'm with you, babe.
Bella's Mother
Okay. Bella had one more question.
Bella
What age should I start dating at to look for my future then?
Dr. Laura
26? 25? 26. Till then, you should be having experiences, getting educated, having jobs, living on your own, you know, becoming independent.
Bella's Mother
I just have a quick thing. I got married at 20, and we've been married 17 years, and we have three.
Dr. Laura
Stephanie. Stephanie.
Podcast Host
I could shoot you in the head
Dr. Laura
with a gun and you could live through it. Does that mean it's okay to shoot you in the head with a gun? That you got married at a ridiculously young age and persisted is lovely.
Bella
It's not typical, but one.
Bella's Mother
Okay, but what about her? But like, the realistic, like, when you have kids, like 28, isn't that a little late to start a family because.
Dr. Laura
No, not at all. Not at all.
Bella's Mother
But like, 35 is geriatric.
Dr. Laura
I had my son at 38. I wasn't geriatric, and he's perfectly healthy.
Bella's Mother
You want 10 kids?
Bella
She wants 10 kids.
Dr. Laura
Well, I guess we'll have to adopt the rest of them.
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Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through Sunday, May 3rd. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton difference. Visit Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.
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Bella's Mother
I knew you were going to say all of this. This is so funny. I've been listening to you since I was 12 and I'm 38. I love your advice. You do? Amazing. Love all your advice. And my daughter is starting to read proper care and feeding of husbands already, but she's getting it.
Dr. Laura
Well, tell her to read 10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their lives first.
Bella's Mother
Oh. Oh, okay. That's a good one. I've read that one. That's a good one.
Dr. Laura
And Bella, as mature as a woman of 20, is, not typically, men take much longer than women to mature.
Bella's Mother
Yes. Yeah, 100%.
Dr. Laura
So when you're complaining about how a boy is behaving, you have to understand, he's a boy, he's not a man.
Bella
What age do you think they finally become a man at?
Bella's Mother
Never.
Dr. Laura
Sometimes 70, but most of the time by about, you know, 30. If they're brought up right by good fathers.
Bella's Mother
That's not the case. Sorry.
Bella
Three.
Bella's Mother
That's great advice. I appreciate that. You are amazing.
Podcast Host
Bye, gals.
Dr. Laura
That was fun. I want to get married at 18. No, no, no, Please don't.
MGM Show Announcer
Oh, my God, Yes.
Dr. Laura
My number. So she could have 10 kids. Maybe she could have three sets of triplets and then toss one in at the end. I want to have 10 kids. Okay, it's. That's. That mind boggles. Now go do the right thing.
Podcast Host
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Episode Title: I'm Seeing a Side in My Boyfriend I Don’t Like
Date: April 11, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guests/Callers: Bella (16), Bella’s Mother
In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from 16-year-old Bella and her mother about Bella’s concerns after seeing disappointing qualities in her boyfriend during a camping trip. The conversation expands into broader advice about dating, marriage, maturity, and life milestones, with Dr. Laura providing firm, no-nonsense guidance on what teenagers and young adults should focus on before entering serious relationships.
“The purpose of dating is to discern whether or not you’re a match. If you already see that he has qualities unbecoming of somebody you’d eventually like to have be your husband, then you dump him. You don’t try to fix him…you dump him.” (02:12)
“The divorce rate of people marrying under 28 is huge. You don’t have the maturity and the life experience to make a choice in a man, know what you want, and be able to handle life together. So I vote no.” (02:16)
“About 28. The divorce rate dives precipitously when people get married 28 and up because… really knowing yourself, being able to discern things about life, being able to handle things with another person, takes time to develop that.” (03:05)
"I could shoot you in the head with a gun and you could live through it. Does that mean it’s okay to shoot you in the head with a gun? That you got married at a ridiculously young age and persisted is lovely." (04:17)
"I had my son at 38. I wasn’t geriatric, and he’s perfectly healthy." (04:54)
“Till then, you should be having experiences, getting educated, having jobs, living on your own, becoming independent.” (03:50)
"As mature as a woman of 20 is, not typically, men take much longer than women to mature." (08:10)
“Sometimes 70, but most of the time by about, you know, 30—if they're brought up right by good fathers.” (08:35)
“The point of dating is to see if somebody is dumpable or capable.” —Dr. Laura (02:45)
“The divorce rate of people marrying under 28 is huge. You don’t have the maturity and life experience...” —Dr. Laura (02:16)
"I could shoot you in the head with a gun and you could live through it. Does that mean it’s okay to shoot you in the head with a gun?" —Dr. Laura (04:17)
"About 28. The divorce rate dives precipitously when people get married 28 and up..." —Dr. Laura (03:05)
“I had my son at 38. I wasn’t geriatric, and he’s perfectly healthy.” —Dr. Laura (04:54)
“Men take much longer than women to mature.” —Dr. Laura (08:10)
Dr. Laura is characteristically direct, combining tough love with light wit. She frames her advice with evidence, strong analogies, and clear opinions, guiding both teen and parent away from premature romantic commitments and toward self-development. The conversation is punctuated with laughter, banter, and actionable wisdom—a relatable interaction for listeners of all ages.
Best For:
“Now go do the right thing.” —Dr. Laura (09:06)