
20-year-old Adam wonders how he can squash his temptation to cheat on his girlfriend. Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
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Adam
Hi there. How's it going?
Dr. Laura
Good. How can I help?
Adam
Good. So why I'm calling is, and I heard about you from my mom, but I'm, I'm 20 years old. I've been dating my girlfriend for going on three years. And my question for you is in the past, probably for the last, I don't know, year, year plus, so a good chunk of our relationship, I've definitely been tempted with temptation of other women before. And it's, it's purely, it's purely sexual. It's not emotional because I love my girlfriend and I know that. But I have had that temptation at times. So I guess I wanted to kind of get your thoughts on things.
Dr. Laura
Well, you're a young male of 20. You're horny most of the time would be my guess. So I'm not surprised you feel that way. But the quality of the character of a man is if he caters to temptations, that builds or unravels the thing we call character. Resisting temptation requires character. So you decide if you want to be an honorable man or not that you're going to be horny most of the time. Don't Worry, when you're 60 it probably will fade somewhat. It won't be that way all the time. It changes over time. But in the in between. Yeah. You're going to be tempted at your ears and a lot of women are going to come onto you and all of this, and you're going to go, what about just once, what if she never finds out? Nobody would know. Then you, you're destroying your character. And believe me, the universe has payback for that.
Adam
Yeah. Yep, that's what my parents have also advised me. And I've talked to some people about.
Dr. Laura
You know, there's a difference between have sex and making love. And I don't know that you're at that point of really being able to distinguish it, but having a lot of sex with a lot of people without love empties out your soul. It all becomes meaningless. It becomes fancy masturbation. And it's hard to tell young men that. It's very difficult.
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. And I realize that and I know what you're saying, too.
Dr. Laura
So it all depends on what kind of a man you want to be. Do you want to be a man of honor or a man of instinct?
Adam
Yep.
Dr. Laura
It's tough. Most people do not consider honor.
Adam
Yep.
Dr. Laura
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Dr. Laura
Anything else you wish to ask? I'm impressed that you asked such an important question. I'm impressed.
Adam
Yeah, no, that's really what I just wanted to get your perspective on because I know that I'm a young person and there's those hormones, but I also know what I have and I have a girlfriend that really loves me and checks out the boxes for a lifelong partner. So I think that's like you said, it's between, it's between that honor or those instincts like you said.
Dr. Laura
Right.
Adam
Yeah. So, no, that I.
Dr. Laura
And truthfully, I guess I. Some of your guy friends, if you talk about this to them, will probably say things to like you're going to regret that, you know.
Adam
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's of course, of course what happens with the friends and stuff like that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. No, I appreciate your help and in the call, I do. So thank you.
Dr. Laura
Thank you. Have a good day. He gave a speck of hope that there are some good 20 year olds out there of character. That's pretty nice. That's really nice. I particularly enjoy when people in the late teens and 20s call because if we're at the beginning of developing, really developing and embracing their own values and it's easy to get off track because of the temptations and everybody telling you you're an idiot for not giving in to temptations, you're only going to be young once. I don't want to be young again. I don't think there are Many people over 55 listening or not listening right now who really want to go back and do that again. All the self doubt and the embarrassment and the difficulties and oh my God. Not knowing about. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Again, my number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos and feature some of what you've sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.
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Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day - "I'm Tempted"
Episode Details:
In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from Adam, a 20-year-old navigating the complexities of young adulthood and relationships. The conversation delves into the challenges of maintaining personal integrity amidst temptations, emphasizing the importance of character and honor.
[01:20] Adam:
“I've been dating my girlfriend for going on three years. In the past year or so, I've definitely been tempted with the temptation of other women. It's purely sexual, not emotional, because I love my girlfriend and I know that. But I have had that temptation at times.”
Adam reaches out seeking Dr. Laura's guidance on managing sexual temptations while being committed to his long-term girlfriend. His concern reflects a common struggle among young adults balancing desire and fidelity.
[02:09] Dr. Laura:
“Your character is what defines you. Resisting temptation requires strength of character. If you decide to cater to these temptations, you’re undermining your integrity. The universe has payback for that.”
Dr. Laura acknowledges Adam's feelings, attributing his temptations to youthful hormones but stresses that true character is revealed in how one handles such impulses. She emphasizes that choosing honor over instant gratification builds and sustains personal integrity.
[03:16] Dr. Laura:
“There's a difference between having sex and making love. Having a lot of sex without love empties your soul. It becomes meaningless, like fancy masturbation.”
Here, Dr. Laura highlights the emotional and spiritual emptiness that often accompanies casual sexual encounters, contrasting it with the meaningful connection of making love. She warns against the superficial satisfaction that such actions provide, advocating for deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
[04:03] Dr. Laura:
“Do you want to be a man of honor or a man driven by instinct?”
This pivotal question challenges Adam to reflect on his values and the type of person he aspires to be. Dr. Laura underscores the long-term benefits of honor and integrity over momentary desires.
[07:08] Dr. Laura:
“He gave a speck of hope that there are some good 20-year-olds out there of character. That's pretty nice.”
Dr. Laura expresses admiration for Adam's self-awareness and commitment to his relationship, offering encouragement that his actions reflect commendable character. She appreciates his desire to uphold his values despite societal pressures.
[07:08] Dr. Laura:
“I particularly enjoy when people in their late teens and 20s call because they're at the beginning of developing and embracing their own values.”
Dr. Laura finds calls like Adam's rewarding, as they represent individuals at a formative stage of establishing their personal ethics and resisting external temptations.
Dr. Laura concludes the episode by reiterating the importance of steadfastness in one's values and the long-term benefits of maintaining honor and integrity. She underscores that while temptation is a natural part of life, the choices one makes define their character and future well-being.
[09:12] Dr. Laura:
“Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. There's always something interesting going on there.”
In her closing remarks, Dr. Laura invites listeners to engage with her on social media, fostering a community centered around personal growth and ethical living.
Character Building: Resisting temptations reinforces personal integrity and honor.
Meaningful Relationships: Engaging in relationships with love and commitment leads to deeper fulfillment compared to casual encounters.
Long-Term Perspective: Making principled choices now contributes to lasting personal well-being and reputation.
Encouragement for Youth: Young adults like Adam play a crucial role in shaping enduring values and behaviors.
Dr. Laura on Character:
“Resisting temptation requires character. So you decide if you want to be an honorable man or not that you're going to be horny most of the time.”
[02:09]
Dr. Laura on Meaningfulness:
“Having a lot of sex with a lot of people without love empties out your soul. It all becomes meaningless.”
[03:25]
Dr. Laura on Honor vs. Instinct:
“Do you want to be a man of honor or a man of instinct?”
[04:03]
Dr. Laura's Encouragement:
“There's a speck of hope that there are some good 20-year-olds out there of character. That's pretty nice.”
[07:08]
This episode serves as a profound reminder of the importance of making choices that align with one's values and the long-term benefits of maintaining personal integrity. Dr. Laura Schlessinger's guidance offers a roadmap for young adults striving to navigate the complexities of relationships and personal desires with honor and responsibility.