I'm Unhappy About My Daughter's Unplanned Pregnancy

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I'm Unhappy About My Daughter's Unplanned Pregnancy"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: February 27, 2025
• Description: Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers no-nonsense advice with a strong emphasis on ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility, reaching millions weekly in the Kids & Family and Parenting categories.

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Elizabeth reaches out to Dr. Laura seeking guidance about her daughter's unplanned pregnancy and ongoing abusive relationship. The conversation delves into the complexities of parental influence, the challenges of guiding adult children, and coping mechanisms for parents feeling helpless in such situations.

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Detailed Summary

1. Introduction and Listener's Call-In (00:42 - 06:31)

Elizabeth's Plea for Help: Elizabeth introduces her predicament to Dr. Laura, expressing deep concern over her 19 and a half-year-old daughter’s unexpected pregnancy. She reveals that her daughter is the first woman in their family to attend college and has recently become pregnant while entangled in an abusive relationship. Despite Elizabeth and her husband’s efforts to extricate their daughter from this toxic situation, Elizabeth feels powerless and uncertain about how to proceed.

• Elizabeth: "I have a 19 and a half year old who is the first woman in my line to go to college. And I just found out that she's pregnant. And my husband and I have known for a while that she's in an abusive relationship which we have been trying to get her out of. And I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss." [01:03]

2. Dr. Laura's Initial Response (01:40 - 02:24)

Dr. Laura acknowledges Elizabeth’s distress but emphasizes the importance of recognizing her daughter’s autonomy as an adult. She prompts Elizabeth to consider the limits of her influence and the necessity of allowing her daughter to make her own choices, even when they lead to unfavorable outcomes.

• Dr. Laura: "You tried to guide her already. She's making her own choices. You guided her. She still ended up here. Don't think you have infinite power. We don't." [02:03]

3. Exploring the Depth of the Issue (02:21 - 03:05)

Elizabeth shares additional layers of her concern, mentioning that her daughter’s partner already has another child he does not support. This revelation underscores the instability and potential irresponsibility of the relationship, intensifying Elizabeth's worries.

• Elizabeth: "He has another kid that he doesn't take care of." [03:00]

4. Dr. Laura's Tough Love Approach (03:05 - 06:31)

Dr. Laura adopts a direct and unfiltered approach, challenging Elizabeth’s expectations of her daughter. She candidly discusses the perceived irresponsibility and naivety of the daughter's choices, suggesting that parents cannot "fix" their adult children but must redirect their focus towards supporting their other children who are making better decisions.

• Dr. Laura: "This is your idiot daughter who thinks she's special and is going to take a creepy guy and make him wonderful. ... There's nothing you can do. That's what's infuriating as a parent." [03:05]

• Elizabeth: "I did."

• Dr. Laura: "Focus on the ones who are making better decisions. Because you can't fix her." [06:31]

5. Coping Strategies and Future Outlook (06:31 - 09:37)

Elizabeth expresses regret over her daughter's choices, noting that her daughter once had higher expectations for herself. Dr. Laura advises Elizabeth to engage her daughter in discussions about adoption without directly offering advice, thereby empowering her daughter to make her own informed decisions. She also prompts Elizabeth to reflect on her own past, revealing that she became a mother at 17, which adds complexity to the family dynamics.

• Dr. Laura: "Only ask her opinion about adoptions. ... How old were you when you had her?" [07:46]

• Elizabeth: "I was 17."

Dr. Laura points out the cyclical nature of such family patterns and encourages Elizabeth to focus her emotional support on her other children who demonstrate responsible behavior.

• Dr. Laura: "You have other kids. Focus on them. They need your support, even though they're not making stupid decisions." [08:18]

6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts (09:37 - 09:53)

Dr. Laura offers her condolences and reinforces her advice, reminding Elizabeth of her other children’s needs and the importance of patience as her daughter navigates her current predicament.

• Dr. Laura: "Okay. They need you right now. You just have to sit back and wait to see what she's going to do." [09:34]

She provides her contact number for further assistance, underscoring her ongoing support for listeners facing similar challenges.

• Dr. Laura: "My number 1-800-375-2872." [09:53]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Elizabeth: "I have a 19 and a half year old who is the first woman in my line to go to college. And I just found out that she's pregnant. ... I'm at a loss." [01:03]

• Dr. Laura: "Don't think you have infinite power. We don't." [02:03]

• Dr. Laura: "This is your idiot daughter who thinks she's special and is going to take a creepy guy and make him wonderful. ... There's nothing you can do." [03:05]

• Elizabeth: "I did." [06:38]

• Dr. Laura: "Focus on the ones who are making better decisions. Because you can't fix her." [06:31]

• Dr. Laura: "Only ask her opinion about adoptions. ... How old were you when you had her?" [07:46]

• Dr. Laura: "You have other kids. Focus on them. They need your support, even though they're not making stupid decisions." [08:18]

• Dr. Laura: "Okay. They need you right now. You just have to sit back and wait to see what she's going to do." [09:34]

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides candid and straightforward advice to a distressed mother grappling with her adult daughter's unplanned pregnancy and abusive relationship. Emphasizing personal responsibility and the limits of parental control, Dr. Laura encourages focusing on supporting other children and allowing the adult child to navigate her own decisions. The conversation underscores the challenges parents face when their adult children make questionable life choices and offers a perspective that balances empathy with tough love.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments within the transcript have been omitted to maintain focus on the core content of the podcast discussion.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Ctmobile.com thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111.

Elizabeth. Welcome to the program.

[Elizabeth]

Hi.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. Hello. Welcome.

[Elizabeth]

I don't even know where to start.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, in the middle and work your way out.

Both sides. How's that? I like that picture.

[Elizabeth]

Gotcha. So I guess what I'm in the middle of is I have a 19 and a half year old who is the first woman in my line to go to college. And I just found out that she's pregnant. And my husband and I have known for a while that she's in an abusive relationship which we have been trying to get her out of. And I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry. Why is it. Why is this something for you to do? I don't know what that means. She's 19. She's with a guy, good, bad or indifferent. And she's pregnant. But she's an adult. So what is it you think you ought to be doing legally?

[Elizabeth]

Not legally, but just. How do I guide her? How do I help her?

[Dr. Laura]

You tried to guide her already. She's making her own choices. You guided her. She still ended up here. Don't think you have infinite power. We don't. I wish we did. Maybe I don't wish we did. Yeah, I don't. But we don't.

[Elizabeth]

No, I just.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't want to hear. I just. Because everything that follows I just. Is usually irrational. I just want everything to be wonderful. I want there to be world peace. I just. I'm sorry. I hope you have other kids.

[Elizabeth]

I do.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. Because I want you to remind you to focus in on the ones who are making better decisions. Because you can't fix her. Can't fix this. He's the legal father forever unless he signs away rights. But he's the legal dad, so we're all stuck with him.

[Elizabeth]

That's the thing. He has another kid that he doesn't take care of.

[Dr. Laura]

I know that that was a ridiculous thing for me to say, but I thought it was dramatic. I know that. But this is your idiot daughter who thinks she's special and is going to take a creepy guy and make him wonderful. And she didn't want to go to college. She didn't want to be the first in the line. She wanted better to get knocked up by this guy because it's a lot of drama and it makes her feel sexy. I don't know. But you're right. This kid's in trouble. There's nothing you can do. That's what's infuriating as a parent.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah.

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I'm with you. This is sucky. You expected better things from her.

[Elizabeth]

I did.

[Dr. Laura]

I know.

[Elizabeth]

And at one point, she expected more from herself.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, but this is easier. I wrote a book that, in fact, my first the 10 stupid things women Do To Mess Up Their Lives. This was in the beginning. It's called the Female Escape Route. God, it's awfully scary and burdensome maybe to be the first woman to go to college in the family and maybe. Forget it. This is easier. Living with a jerk and getting knocked up out of wedlock is easier. So, I don't know, maybe when she's 40, she'll go back to school.

[Elizabeth]

Well, thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You can ask her her opinion. Don't give advice. Listen to how I'm framing this. You can ask her opinion about adoption and she can pick a family, hopefully one that none of you knows. Work through a lawyer.

[Elizabeth]

Well, that's what I've. I mean, I just found this out a few days ago. And that's what I've been trying to do, is not really give advice at.

[Dr. Laura]

The moment, but just never. No, never. Not at the moment. No advice. Ask her opinion. I want to make that indelible on your brain. Only ask her opinion about adoptions. How old were you when you had her?

[Elizabeth]

I was 17.

[Dr. Laura]

Does she know this?

[Elizabeth]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, she's following the family line.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, well. And I think part of what's going on in her head is because her dad and I are still together and she saw that we made it work.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, but your husband didn't beat you.

[Elizabeth]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, a little wrinkle. So she's doing a lousy version of you. And I know this breaks your heart, and I wish I could offer you something that would make you feel better other than to say you have other kids. Focus on them. They need your support, even though they're not making stupid decisions. Okay. At least I assume they're.

[Elizabeth]

Yes, ma'am.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. They need you right now. You just have to sit back and wait to see what she's going to do.

[Elizabeth]

All right. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome, Elizabeth. Sorry about that. I know it's very Sad. My number 1-800-375-2872.

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