Is My Husband Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Is My Husband Having a Mid-Life Crisis?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: Is My Husband Having a Mid-Life Crisis?
• Release Date: June 11, 2025

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Introduction

In the June 11, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, host Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt and complex issue brought forward by a listener named Teresa. The episode delves into the challenges Teresa is facing in her 25-year marriage, particularly focusing on her husband's newfound interests and behaviors, which Teresa suspects may be indicative of a mid-life crisis.

Teresa’s Concern: Navigating New Hobbies and Emotional Distance (00:23 – 05:09)

Teresa, a 68-year-old woman married to her 62-year-old husband, shares her concerns about her husband's recent hobbies and social interactions. They've been married for 25 years, and while they both share a love for rockabilly and classic cars, her husband has developed a deeper involvement in the rockabilly culture over the past year.

Key Points:

• New Interests: Her husband has embraced rockabilly culture, which includes activities like attending pin-up contests, taking photographs with pin-up models, and engaging with a community of primarily 40-something women.
• Emotional Impact: Teresa feels uncomfortable and disrespected by her husband's actions, particularly the emphasis on pin-up girls and garter belts, which she finds incongruent with her own interests and age.
• Conflict: Teresa is torn between supporting her husband's hobbies and feeling sidelined and disrespected in their marriage. She questions whether she should encourage him to continue these activities or if she should push back, potentially risking their relationship.

Notable Quote:

"I just really want to know if I am sane and not being." – Teresa [04:49]

Dr. Laura’s Guidance: Exploring Options and Setting Boundaries (05:09 – 07:56)

Dr. Laura responds to Teresa's dilemma by first challenging her to clarify her options. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the choices available rather than just focusing on the problem itself.

Advice Provided:

1. Evaluate Choices: Dr. Laura asks Teresa to consider what options she has in addressing the issue, rather than merely reacting to her husband's new interests.

2. Ultimatum Strategy: She suggests that if Teresa feels the situation is untenable, she might need to present her husband with an ultimatum. However, she cautions that this approach requires serious commitment and a clear plan:

   • Clarity and Seriousness: The ultimatum must not be a threat but a truthful expression of her feelings, and she must be prepared to follow through if he does not change.
   • Preparation: Teresa should have a concrete plan in place, including where she would go and how she would manage financially if the relationship were to end.

3. Assessing Commitment: By setting an ultimatum, Teresa would force her husband to evaluate what is more important to him—maintaining their marriage or pursuing his new interests.

Notable Quote:

"If you give him an ultimatum, he has to think what's more important to me, keeping my woman and my family together or having the freedom to do this stuff." – Dr. Laura [06:30]

Assessing the Situation: Beyond a Mid-Life Crisis (07:56 – 08:22)

Teresa inquires whether her husband is experiencing a mid-life crisis, a common concern given his age and behaviors. Dr. Laura dismisses the notion, diagnosing the situation more accurately.

Key Insights:

• Not a Mid-Life Crisis: Dr. Laura does not believe her husband's actions are symptomatic of a mid-life crisis.
• Personality Traits: Instead, she attributes his behavior to him simply being "old and being a jerk," suggesting that his actions are more about his individual personality than a phase of life.

Notable Quote:

"I think he's just old and being a jerk." – Dr. Laura [08:13]

Conclusion: Moving Forward with Clarity and Strength (08:22 – End)

Dr. Laura encourages Teresa to make a decisive choice regarding her marriage. Whether she chooses to accept her husband's hobbies and coexist with his interests or to stand firm and potentially end the relationship, the key is to act with clarity and readiness.

Final Advice:

• Make a Decision: Teresa needs to assess her willingness to tolerate her husband's behavior or take definitive action if it continues to affect her negatively.
• Follow Through: If choosing an ultimatum, she must be prepared to execute her plan to demonstrate her commitment to her own well-being and the integrity of their marriage.

Notable Quote:

"You either just ignore this and get on with your life... Or ultimatum. But you must be ready to go." – Dr. Laura [07:56]

Summary

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides Teresa with pragmatic advice on handling marital discord stemming from differing interests and emotional disconnects. By encouraging Teresa to evaluate her options, set clear boundaries, and prepare for any outcome, Dr. Laura empowers her listener to take control of her situation with confidence and clarity.

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Connect with Dr. Laura:

• Phone: [phone]
• Facebook: facebook.com/DrLaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/DrLauraProgram

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Note: This summary omits advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussion between Teresa and Dr. Laura.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX XM Triumph 111. Teresa, welcome to the program.

[Teresa]

Yes. Hi Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi.

[Teresa]

I just have a question. I, I don't quite know how to feel about it. I'll just jump right in my. I'm 68. My husband's 62. We've been married 25 years. It's our second marriage and he is currently has a new hobby and it, it is. He loves rockabilly for the last year and it evolved with liking cars and we both like antique cars together, classic cars. But there was a few times I couldn't go with him last year and he stumbled upon this rockabilly culture and he really loves it. And, and I don't have a problem with it except that it's, there's a lot of pin up girls and they do contests and they're nice people and nothing wrong with that, everybody do their own thing. But he likes to take pictures of them with them on, you know, on a car in various positions and they're like mostly in their 40s and he likes to hang with them and he's online with with them. He likes their pictures and a lot of their pictures are garter belts and they're not overly nude. But he does like that. And I just, I'm telling him I don't feel comfortable with it. I don't think it respects me and I just don't know what to think about it if I should just drop it. Let him do his hobby. But me being 68, I have nothing in common with these 40ish year old women and garter belts and tattoos. It's a whole culture of, of that with rockabilly music which I love. The music's good. But anyway, I don't know how to think about if I should just drop it or just.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, what are your options? What do you think your options are?

[Teresa]

Well, I can he. He would rather that I not micromanage him as he says. And I don't want to micromanage.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, but Teresa, that wasn't my question. I appreciate he doesn't want you bugging him. All men say that. Nonetheless, my question for you is what are your options? What are we choosing from? Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear.

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[Teresa]

I'm choosing to either stay home and let him go out there and take pictures and, and mingle with all the pinup girls or I. I don't think I. I just really want to know if I am sane and not being.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't. Don't ask a silly question. I don't abide by silly questions. Whether you're sane. Stop it. Come on. That's silly. One option is to just let it happen and stay home and wait for him to come home. What are your other options? I just want to know what else you're thinking. If you're going to make a choice of how to handle it, I want to know what the options are.

[Teresa]

Well, if he chooses to continue to do it no matter what I feel, I don't think I can hang in there with that.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you have to be. If you're going to give somebody an ultimatum, you have to have clarity. It's not a threat. It's not to scare or manipulate them. It's the truth. So one is to just shut up and stay married and deal with it. The second a second is to give him an ultimatum if you continue to do this, which I find unsavory for a married man to do when you know it hurts me, I'm leaving. And then you have to be ready to leave. You can't say that just to see how he'll handle it. You actually have to be ready to go, which means you have to have a game plan. Where are you going to go? You have to think about the checkbooks and the credit cards and what you're going to take with you and where you're going to go. Are you going to get yourself a little apartment? Are you going to stay at a hotel? Are you going to stay at a friend or a relative's house? So you have to have all of this planned in your brain before you give an ultimatum, because you have to mean it, or when you say something like that and you don't follow through, then you're dead water. In dead water, you're just. That's it. Then he knows he doesn't have to listen to you at all. Nothing's going to happen. So then if you give him an ultimatum, he has to think what's more important to me, keeping my woman and my family together or having the freedom to do this stuff. And he will then think what's important to him.

[Teresa]

Okay? So you say make a decision, stick with it, follow through, depending what he chooses, right?

[Dr. Laura]

And then you'll know who he cares about more. You and the life you have together and have had together. Or his freedom to be silly. Because I guarantee those women are looking at him and laughing at him.

[Teresa]

Absolutely. He's got a little pot belly and all bald.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, he doesn't care about that. He's living through his fantasy. So you either just ignore this and get on with your life. I don't know quite how, but that's it. Or ultimatum. But you must be ready to go.

[Teresa]

All right. What's it called when old geezers want to be young? You think he's going through that?

[Dr. Laura]

No.

[Teresa]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

I think he's just old and being a jerk.

[Teresa]

Okay. I think so, too.

[Dr. Laura]

That's my diagnosis. Okay. You're very welcome, sweetheart.

[Teresa]

Appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura]

I hope you let me know. I appreciate it, too, and I hope you let me know what your decision is. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media. On Facebook and Instagram, I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com DrLora and instagram.com DrLoraProgram.

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