It’s Better To Be Alone and Healthy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day - "It’s Better To Be Alone and Healthy"

Episode Information:

• Title: It’s Better To Be Alone and Healthy
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: May 6, 2025

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Introduction

In the May 6, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," renowned therapist and radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller grappling with relationship challenges. The episode delves deep into themes of personal responsibility, healthy relationships, and the well-being of both the individual and her child.

Caller’s Situation

At [00:47], a 48-year-old woman reaches out to seek Dr. Laura's counsel regarding her relationship with a 41-year-old veteran. The caller shares that her boyfriend has served three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq approximately 10-11 years ago and is currently experiencing health issues. Despite being in a relationship for only a year, she has moved in with him.

Key Points:

• Duration of Relationship: 1 year
• Age: Caller is 48; Boyfriend is 41
• Reason for Cohabitation: Initially cited financial reasons, later expressed feelings of love.

Dr. Laura’s Analysis

Dr. Laura doesn't mince words as she scrutinizes the caller's motivations and the healthiness of her relationship. Early in the conversation at [01:34], she challenges the notion that financial stability is a valid reason for cohabitation without marriage, labeling it as "total nonsense."

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Total nonsense. Don't give me financial. You're not married. You're shacking up with him because your head, you're thinking..." [01:34]
• Dr. Laura: "He’s not laying down his life for you and you haven't made the decision to let him do that. So don't give me love." [02:07]
• Dr. Laura: "You thought it would be good for you. Women with kids who do this are thinking only of themselves in my never to be humble opinion." [03:12]
• Dr. Laura: "It's called infatuation." [07:37]

Relationship Dynamics:

• Emotional Instability: The boyfriend often retreats into his own world, staying in his room and engaging with his phone, leading to a sense of loneliness for the caller.
• Impact on Child: The caller is a single mother, and Dr. Laura is concerned about the instability this relationship introduces into her son's life, especially after the loss of his father.

Dr. Laura’s Concerns:

• For the Caller: The relationship appears to be a coping mechanism for loneliness rather than a healthy, supportive partnership.
• For the Child: The insecure and high-breakup-rate nature of such relationships is detrimental to the child’s emotional stability.

Advice and Conclusion

Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of self-respect and the well-being of the child over the illusory comfort of an unhealthy relationship. She urges the caller to prioritize her son's needs and consider the long-term implications of her current living situation.

Key Recommendations:

• Self-Evaluation: The caller should assess whether her actions are truly in the best interest of her child or primarily fulfilling her own emotional needs.
• Ending the Relationship: Dr. Laura advises the caller to end the relationship, stating, "Better to be alone and healthy." [09:12]
• Personal Responsibility: Emphasizes that as a mother, the caller must model healthy relationship behaviors for her son, which includes not tolerating disrespectful or unstable partnerships.

Final Words: Dr. Laura encourages the caller to take decisive action for the sake of her son's future and to honor the memory of her late husband by fostering a stable and loving environment.

Notable Quote:

• Dr. Laura: "Better to be alone and healthy." [09:12]

Conclusion

This episode underscores Dr. Laura’s unwavering stance on personal responsibility and ethical behavior within relationships. By confronting the caller with hard truths and urging her to prioritize her child’s well-being, Dr. Laura provides a clear roadmap for overcoming unhealthy relationship patterns and embracing a path of self-improvement and accountability.

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Connect with Dr. Laura: Listeners are encouraged to participate in Dr. Laura's live radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111 weekdays from 2 to 5 PM Eastern Time. For more resources and support, visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Laura, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi, Dr. Laura. So. Hi. So my problem is, is that my boyfriend who is a vet, he did three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq about 10, 11 years ago. He does have health.

[Dr. Laura]

How long have you been dating him to call him a boyfriend?

[Caller]

A year.

[Dr. Laura]

And how old are you? How old is he?

[Caller]

I'm 48. He's 41.

[Dr. Laura]

And you're shacking up with him because. Right.

[Caller]

Financial. But we talked about.

[Dr. Laura]

No, that's nonsense. Total nonsense. Total nonsense. Don't give me financial. You're not married. You're shacking up with him because your head, you're thinking, I'm shacking up with him because.

[Caller]

I love him.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, Are we just going to keep doing stupid stuff together or are you going to really help me? Help you?

[Caller]

Don't give me.

[Dr. Laura]

I love him.

[Caller]

I don't.

[Dr. Laura]

He's not laying down his life for you and you haven't made the decision to let him do that. So don't give me love. You decided to shack up with a guy you're not married to because. Truth. The truth.

[Caller]

Is I'm a single mom and I was alone and I, you know, thought that he was. It'd be good.

[Dr. Laura]

For whom? The kid?

[Caller]

Yeah, part of it.

[Dr. Laura]

You think it's better for a kid to be in a shack up situation which is insecure and has a huge breakup rate. Really? You thought that would be good for the kid? No. You thought it would be good for you. Women with kids who do this are thinking only of themselves in my never to be humble opinion.

[Caller]

And I don't want to be totally see that now after listening to you for a couple months now. I thought it was good for my son too because his dad died.

[Dr. Laura]

So we're just going to do a replacement. So your problem with this guy you're shacking up now is what? What's your problem with him?

[Caller]

He gets in moods and he shuts down for two Days, three days, Sometimes doesn't want to talk at all.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, that's real good for your son. And what else does he do that's uncomfortable?

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[Caller]

He'll just like stay in, stay in our room and be on his phone and just kind of help everybody out.

[Dr. Laura]

And what else is good for your kid? Doesn't talk. Stays in his room and talks to somebody on a phone. How are any of these things helping you with your loneliness?

[Caller]

Games on his phone.

[Dr. Laura]

And he plays games on his phone. Yeah, I know how. Ma'am, you thought this would be good for your son and would keep you from being lonely. Tell me how that's worked out.

[Caller]

Not good. Because I feel really lonely when he gets like that.

[Dr. Laura]

Can you think of your son first for a moment and not yourself? Can we do that just for a moment? This is not good for your kid.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Seeing you so Meowly and sad and with a jerk. This is not an environment for your kid and you know it.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Doesn't matter what you feel. And you say I'm in love. I don't believe women are in love with men who behave like that. I don't believe it. Because for me, when somebody talks about love, it's admiration and respect. You have no admiration and respect for him. You have a need. You have a need.

[Caller]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

It's called infatuation. Infatuation. So what are you going to do now that I've really nailed you against a wall? That this is bad for your kid? Are you just going to stay there and complain about it some?

[Caller]

Well, it's my house.

[Dr. Laura]

Are you going to throw them out and teach your son a man can't behave like that and get catered to by a woman.

[Caller]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

Are you going to continue to be pathetic?

[Caller]

I just. I just don't know. Like, I mean, I know I'm not always.

[Dr. Laura]

It doesn't matter. You're the mother. This guy is not the man who should be influencing your child. You're the mother. We can't get rid of you, okay? We can only ask you to be better for your child's sake.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Get him out.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

And I'm sorry you lost your husband, but getting a quickie replacement to stay at your house is not how to do it.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Better to be alone and healthy.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm counting on you to be your kid's mom and do what's good for him. That would make your husband proud of you. I hope you mean the. Okay. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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