It's Time for Lynn to Put Her Son in His Place

Summary

Podcast Summary: "It's Time for Lynn to Put Her Son in His Place"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: June 28, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "It's Time for Lynn to Put Her Son in His Place," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt dilemma presented by Lynn, a 67-year-old woman navigating family tensions related to her adult son's involvement in the family business. The conversation delves into intergenerational conflicts, business disagreements, and strategies for restoring familial harmony.

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Caller’s Situation

Timestamp: [00:35] - [06:34]

Lynn initiates the call by sharing her family's background and the brewing tension between her oldest son and her husband. With a marriage spanning 42 years and multiple businesses owned and operated, Lynn and her husband have successfully retired, maintaining passive involvement in their remaining business through a management company.

Key Points:

• Family Dynamics: Lynn and her husband have two grown sons, aged 38 and 40, both successful in their respective careers and with families of their own. However, the oldest son, who holds a master's degree in business and finance, has recently clashed with Lynn’s husband over the valuation of their family business during a potential sale.

• Business Conflict: A prospective buyer was interested in acquiring the business, and Lynn's son was involved in the negotiations. A significant disagreement arose when Lynn's husband proposed a lease with purchase opportunities, valuing the business at a certain price [03:16]. In contrast, their son believed the business was worth triple that amount. The buyer ultimately withdrew, leading to increased friction between the son and Lynn’s husband.

• Family Gatherings Strain: The unresolved business dispute has tainted family interactions, making gatherings awkward. Lynn recounts her attempts to set boundaries by requesting her husband to avoid discussing business during family events [03:35].

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Discussion and Analysis

Timestamp: [06:34] - [07:19]

Dr. Laura probes deeper into the root causes of the tension:

• She questions the lack of decisive action from Lynn’s husband, wondering why he didn't simply accept the deal to prevent further complications [04:11].

• Lynn explains that the negotiations were complex, involving multiple partners and legal considerations, making a swift decision challenging [06:48].

• Dr. Laura highlights the son's becoming standoffish and suggests that the eldest son’s demeanor has shifted, creating a strain in their relationship [07:05].

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Dr. Laura’s Advice

Timestamp: [07:19] - [10:36]

Dr. Laura offers candid and no-nonsense advice to Lynn on addressing the strained relationship with her son:

• Confrontation Over Dinner: When Lynn expresses her intention to host a dinner to mend fences, Dr. Laura advises against it. She suggests canceling the dinner and instead having a private conversation with her son [08:12].

  “I think you should cancel it. I think you should cancel it.” [08:07]

• Setting Boundaries: Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of establishing firm boundaries and not allowing the son to undermine her husband’s authority in the family business.

  “I think your son needs to be taken down a few notches.” [08:12]

  “You will not dethrone my man. You will behave with respect.” [09:35]

• Addressing Behavior: She encourages Lynn to address her son's arrogance and narcissistic behavior directly, asserting that his educational qualifications and experience do not grant him the right to disrespect his father.

  “Tell him that you'd like to smack him across the head, that he's being arrogant and narcissistically behaving.” [08:12]

• Avoiding Historical Grievances: Dr. Laura warns against bringing up past issues during confrontations, as it only serves to escalate tensions rather than resolve them.

  “When people go back into history in relationships of any kind… they’re being punitive and they just want to cause damage.” [10:09]

• Focus on the Present: She advises Lynn to concentrate on current behaviors rather than past grievances to foster a more constructive dialogue.

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Conclusions and Takeaways

Timestamp: [10:36] - [11:10]

Dr. Laura concludes by reaffirming Lynn’s strength and capability to handle the situation effectively. She encourages Lynn to prioritize her marriage and family harmony over ongoing complaints, suggesting that reducing negativity will lead to a more peaceful family environment.

Key Takeaways:

• Assertive Communication: It's crucial to address conflicts directly and assertively to prevent ongoing resentment.

• Respect and Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining respectful boundaries within family and business relationships is essential for long-term harmony.

• Avoiding Escalation: Steering clear of bringing up past issues can help in resolving current conflicts without additional emotional baggage.

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Notable Quotes

• “I think you should cancel it.” – Dr. Laura [08:07]

• “You will not dethrone my man. You will behave with respect.” – Dr. Laura [09:35]

• “When people go back into history in relationships of any kind… they’re being punitive and they just want to cause damage.” – Dr. Laura [10:09]

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides pragmatic advice to Lynn, emphasizing the importance of strong boundaries, assertive communication, and respectful relationships within the family business dynamic. By addressing the core issues head-on and fostering mutual respect, Lynn can work towards resolving the tension with her son and restoring harmony in family interactions.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Lynn, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. How can I help?

[Caller]

I have a situation in our family that I was hoping to get your advice on. My husband and I are in our later years. We've been married 42 years.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, what are later years?

[Caller]

Golden years.

[Dr. Laura]

What age is that?

[Caller]

I'm 67 and he's 77. And we have been retired. But the many different businesses we've owned and operated, we still have one that is operating and has a management company that runs it. But my husband goes to that area, which is an hour away once a week, shows his face but yet he monitors it remotely. So we still have involvement but not run it. The day to day operation. We have two grown children, two boys that are 38 and 40. They do not. They did not decide to go into the business. They both are very successful in their own careers, both married, beautiful wives. The youngest son has two young children, ages 4 and 2. They all live one hour from us, also near my husband's office. The problem we're having is our oldest son and my husband have. There's friction when we get together. We've.

[Dr. Laura]

What does that mean? I don't know what that means.

[Caller]

Very awkward. Not comfortable in each other's presence. It seems like there's just some.

[Dr. Laura]

Why? What happened?

[Caller]

Some underlying. Well, because we're retired, but this business is still operating. We had a potential buyer come to the table and we thought, oh, that'd be interesting, it's time to move on. And our oldest son has a master's in business and finance and we thought, you know, he's a brilliant kid. Let's have him join us for these negotiations and hopefully we can strike a deal. Well, unfortunately, he and my husband could not come on, come on the same page when it came to the value of the property.

[Dr. Laura]

And what was the buyer? Well, what was the difference? Help me understand my husband.

[Caller]

Well, the, the. I was not present. But from my understanding, the agreement my husband wanted was a lease with the opportunities to purchase the business over time. And at the end of that term, the value of the business was X. Well, our son said, no, the value of the business is not X, it's triple that. Well, the potential buyer said, no, it's not. And they had words and the potential buyer walked and said, it's becoming too complicated. I'm not interested. So that's when it started, in my opinion, because they were not as close when we would have family functions especially, they would bring up business every time. And the last get together, I asked my husband, do me a favor, do not talk business because it ruins the.

[Dr. Laura]

Whole well, why didn't your husband tell your son, I'm going to take the deal anyway? Why did he let the guy walk? Why didn't he just.

[Caller]

No, he tried.

[Dr. Laura]

In fact, he went, how do you try? You're out. I don't understand what. Ma' am, don't cut me off while I'm asking the question. I don't understand trying. He simply says, it's my decision over with. Why didn't he just do that? Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies, and thanks to Walmart Pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is all free clear.

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[Caller]

He did and reconnected with the potential buyer, but the potential buyer said no.

[Dr. Laura]

Why didn't he do it sooner before the guy walked away? I don't think this is a hard question. Come on.

[Caller]

Well, there was a lot of negotiations. There's a lot involved. It's a huge business. And so there was a lot. There was partners involved and lawyers, et cetera. So it wasn't an easy, you know.

[Dr. Laura]

So your husband doesn't own it, he has people who own it with him?

[Caller]

No, we have. We, we own 100%. But there were partners in the potential buyers side. I see that he wanted the partners to come in and talk to. And it got to the point where I'm not bringing the partners in because it's getting too complicated.

[Dr. Laura]

So who do you think is being testy, your husband or your son? Be honest about this.

[Caller]

My son, my husband is very laid back, easygoing. Our son I think is the one that is very standoffish at this point.

[Dr. Laura]

L I. Yeah, okay, okay, stop. I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. You're. Woohoo. So what is your question? I think I'm ready.

[Caller]

My question is I invited them for dinner tonight because I don't like things the way they are. And it's. My husband had lunch with him yesterday and my. Our son brought up all these things from the past that really shocked him. And I said, I don't like how it ended. I want them for dinner and let's talk.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Caller]

So I'm like, okay, they accepted the invite, but I want your advice. How?

[Dr. Laura]

I think you should cancel it. I think you should cancel it. If you want to have a discussion with your son sometime privately, tell him that you'd like to smack him across the head, that he's being arrogant and narcissistically behaving that somehow because he has all these degrees and this experience that he can topple the king, his dad in his castle, not right. He has to show respect and behave properly in spite of the fact that his dad didn't agree with him. It's his business. He built it from nothing to being very important. Obviously that means dad has a lot of savvy. I think your son needs to be taken down a few notches. Coming to dinner is not going to make this better, I guarantee it. Cancel the dinner. Have a private conversation with your son telling him he's a boy, by the way he's acting. He's a boy and he wants to eliminate. Eliminate dad and take Mom. You know that reference. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, okay. Okay. He wants to topple dad.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

And that's not going to happen on your watch. And that's the position I believe you have to take. You will not dethrone my man. You will behave with respect.

[Caller]

Exactly. Okay, well, thank you, Doctor.

[Dr. Laura]

And stop complaining. You have a very good life, so cut the crap of complaining. You want us to go over all the complaints we have of you since the day you were born? Come on, give it up. Don't fight dirty. See, that's dirty fighting.

[Caller]

Good point. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

When people go back into history in relationships of any kind and go back, well, 20 years ago, you know what you did? That's because they're losing and they're being punitive and they just want to cause damage at that point because they're being defensive.

[Caller]

Exactly. Okay, Gotcha.

[Dr. Laura]

So go take care of your man. Okay?

[Caller]

No problem.

[Dr. Laura]

Excellent. I don't think so. I think you're more than strong enough to do this. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

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