Learning to Love Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast — "Learning to Love Again" (June 24, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Dr. Laura Podcast centers on a heartfelt call from Julie, a 66-year-old widow navigating the complexities of entering a new relationship after loss. Dr. Laura offers her signature blend of directness and tough love as she guides Julie (and listeners) through important considerations about trust, caution, and self-respect in later-in-life dating. The conversation provides valuable advice for anyone facing similar situations, emphasizing thoughtful boundaries and the wisdom gained from life experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Julie’s Relationship Context (01:54 – 02:42)

• Julie shares that she's 66, her new partner is 71, both have been widowed for several years.
• The couple was introduced via family and social circles; her partner moved cross-country (from Washington to the Florida Panhandle) to be closer to her.
• Julie highlights her partner’s kindness and how highly recommended he was by trusted friends.

2. Dr. Laura’s Immediate Concern: Trust and Boundaries (02:42 – 03:40)

• Dr. Laura reacts strongly to the partner moving such a long distance:

  “He moved to date you? ... Then I wouldn't trust him. Then I wouldn't trust him. Then I wouldn’t trust him. Third time, then I wouldn’t trust him.” (Dr. Laura, 02:48 – 02:55)

• She underscores that such a dramatic gesture is abnormal and warns Julie to proceed very slowly.
• Dr. Laura instructs that, regardless of how kind and “sweet” someone appears, real trust and knowledge of a person can only develop over a long period.

3. The Three-Year Rule & Setting Limits (03:13 – 03:40)

• Dr. Laura advises a minimum of two years of dating (especially when in the same town) before making life-altering decisions:

  • No sex
  • No giving money
  • No moving in together

• Quote:

  “So if you want to continue seeing him, take a good three years to see if he’s really nice, really sweet... So, ma'am, let me just finish and then you can defend yourself because you seem to be prone to that right now. So I wouldn’t trust this. Wouldn’t have sex, wouldn’t give him money, wouldn’t have him move in. Wait several years and see how this rolls.” (Dr. Laura, 03:13 – 03:40)

4. The Emotional Burden of Big Gestures (04:05 – 04:44)

• Dr. Laura identifies that the act of moving cross-country for a romantic prospect can place uncomfortable pressure and a "burden" on the recipient:

  "For a man to make a whole change in his life for a woman he doesn’t know puts a burden on you… You would not have moved to go date him, would you? Well, then don't you think there's something a little off that he was willing to do that?" (Dr. Laura, 04:13 – 04:32)

5. Julie’s Actions & Dr. Laura’s Continued Advice (07:52 – 08:00)

• Julie admits to having already helped her partner financially:

  “I can do two out of the three. I’ve already messed up the other.”

  “Am I supposed to guess?”

  “No.” (Julie & Dr. Laura, 07:52 – 08:00)

• Dr. Laura maintains her stance:

  “Yes, it is. So take your time. Don’t have sex. Don’t give him money. Don’t move in.” (Dr. Laura, 07:43 – 07:52)

6. Encouragement and Respect for Caution (Throughout)

• Dr. Laura reaffirms the value of “slow and steady” when entering relationships after widowhood, reminding listeners that mature love often takes time to develop trust and understanding.

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Memorable Quotes

• On radical moves for romance:
  “For a guy to make a leap like that, it’s an unreal world. He doesn’t know you.” (Dr. Laura, 03:00)
• On healthy skepticism:
  “Wait several years and see how this rolls.” (Dr. Laura, 03:39)
• On relationship boundaries:
  “Don’t have sex. Don’t give him money. Don’t move in.” (Dr. Laura, 07:52)
• On the emotional cost:
  “That does put a burden on you immediately, because you don’t feel that way. You would not have moved to go date him, would you?” (Dr. Laura, 04:15)

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• [01:54] Julie introduces her situation—age, widowhood, and her partner’s move across the country.
• [02:48 – 03:09] Dr. Laura’s repeated warning against quick trust in someone making a major life change for a relationship.
• [03:13 – 03:40] Dr. Laura lays out the “years before decisions” rule—emphasizes no sex, money, or moving in.
• [04:13 – 04:44] Discussion about the psychological burden and red flags associated with grand romantic gestures.
• [07:52 – 08:00] Julie confesses to already helping her partner financially; Dr. Laura maintains her advice in a lighthearted exchange.

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Tone & Language

• Dr. Laura’s tone is frank, no-nonsense, and maternal, with a sharp wit (“You seem to be prone to that right now”), but also deeply empathetic toward Julie’s vulnerability.
• Julie brings humility and honesty, openly admitting both her hopes and her mistakes.

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Summary Takeaways

• Big, romantic gestures—like moving across the country—are not always healthy signs, particularly when relationships are new or still forming.
• Listeners are reminded that time, boundaries, and observation are the keys to protecting oneself when “learning to love again.”
• Dr. Laura emphasizes: guard your heart, finances, and well-being when re-entering the world of dating, especially after significant loss.

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For listeners seeking trusted, tough-love relationship advice, Dr. Laura’s wisdom in this episode is a strong reminder of the value of patience, boundaries, and honest self-reflection in late-in-life romance.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Thank you. Dr. Laura, I just want to tell you I love your wit and wisdom. Hello.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

What can I do for you?

[B]

Do you want. Okay, so I have a gentleman in my life. I'm 66 and he is 71 and I've been widowed three and a half years and he's been with a two and a half years. And he was my. My half brother's acquaintance and their neighbors. There was a common couple that recommended him to me, my bro, my half brother and their best friends. So he came well recommended. That was my point I'm trying to make. But I'm just. He's just so nice, so complimentary. He moved across the country from Washington state to Alabama or he went to the panhandle, Florida. But I'm there a lot and I'm just.

[A]

Whoa, question. He moved to date you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then I wouldn't trust him. Then I wouldn't trust him. Then I wouldn't Trust him. Third time, then I wouldn't trust him. So if you want to continue seeing him, take a good three years to see if he's really nice, really sweet. I mean, for a guy to make a leap like that, it's an unreal world. He doesn't know you.

[B]

I will say this. We did well. We date. We talk for honey.

[A]

I tell people who live in the same town to date them. Date two years before they make any decisions because it takes that long to really know somebody. So, ma', am, let me just finish and then you can defend yourself because you seem to be prone to that right now. So I wouldn't trust this. Wouldn't have sex, wouldn't give him money, wouldn't have him move in. Wait several years and see how this rolls.

[B]

Okay, I get it. It's only been six months since he's been here and then a year before that, so. And I totally plan to do that. He does have a separate place, and I do not plan to let him.

[A]

Do you understand the point I'm making? For a man to make a whole change in his life for a woman he doesn't know puts a burden on you.

[B]

I told him that. I said, don't do this for me because I don't know he did it for you. I did tell him he did it for you.

[A]

That does put a burden on you immediately, because you don't feel that way. You would not have moved to go date him, would you? Well, then don't you think there's something a little off that he was willing to do that it's not as though he traveled, spent several weeks because maybe he's retired and he did that many times a year and then said, you know, I like where you live and I like you. I'm ready to make this commitment of moving that I would respect and admire. This I don't trust.

[B]

We did spend seven weeks at different times, like seven different times a week together the first year before he made that decision. But still, to me, it's just pretty crazy.

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

I can do two out of the three. I've already messed up the other.

[A]

Am I supposed to guess?

[B]

No?

[A]

Okay, moving right along. Okay. You're so cute. My number. Yeah, it was giving him money. My number. 1-800-375-2872 if you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course I'D love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Sirius XM Triumphs Is life presenting you with challenges? Get real answers with Dr. Laurel. Call 1-800- Dr. Laura no nonsense advice about relationships, marriage, kids, tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility. Inspiration. Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive. That's your new rule. Dr. Laura Weekdays at 2pm east on Sirius XM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app. As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly it's smart to always

[D]

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