Lisa Is Facing the Consequences of Weak Parenting

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Lisa Is Facing the Consequences of Weak Parenting" – The Dr. Laura Podcast

Main Theme & Purpose
In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger counsels caller Lisa, a mother of three adult children, about the pitfalls and consequences of "weak parenting." Through their candid and sometimes tough conversation, Dr. Laura addresses issues of parental guilt, boundaries, respect, and the importance of enforcing appropriate limits with adult children. The episode aims to provide tools and tough love for parents struggling to transition their children into responsible adulthood.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background: Lisa's Situation

• Lisa's adult children living at home:
  • Middle daughter moved back in after divorce and a failed living situation.
  • Lisa moved in with her fiancé earlier than desired to make space, sacrificing her preference to wait until marriage.
  • 28-year-old son also lives at home.
  • Youngest daughter, a full-time student, also resides in the house.
• Lisa tried to enforce rent for her adult son and middle daughter.
  • Both challenged her, arguing it was unfair unless the youngest is also charged.
  • Lisa expresses guilt over past parenting and wants to "make up for" mistakes.

Relevant Quotes:

• Lisa: "I'm engaged and I moved in with my fiancé a little sooner than I wanted to to make room for her... I didn't believe in. I wanted to be married before I moved out. We are in our 50s, but I was trying to just make a space for her..." [01:55]
• Dr. Laura: "Why at 28 does he not want his own place? And yesteryear people wanted their own place." [03:22]
• Lisa: "Everything is so expensive over here and..." [03:29]
• Dr. Laura: "Well, there's an over here and there's an over there, and there are ways to figure it out. You... baby your adult children." [03:38]

---

2. Dr. Laura Addresses Weak Boundaries & Parental Guilt

• Dr. Laura points out the self-sacrificing choices Lisa makes, tying them to over-coddling and inconsistent values.
• Critiques Lisa for letting her adult children negotiate terms and challenge her decisions.

Relevant Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "I'm even doing something I don't want to be doing because I need to baby my adult daughter... So I'm sacrificing my values so I can baby my daughter. I got it. Go ahead." [03:47]
• Dr. Laura: "Once they said that to you, once they challenged you, once they decided that the rules should be a certain way, you should have said, you're out. You have a week. Both of you out." [04:37]
• Dr. Laura: "I didn't ask you to suggest anything. I asked you to throw them out and act like a decent mother. Okay, that wasn't yelling." [05:04]

---

3. Dealing with Disrespect and "Making Up for the Past"

• Dr. Laura is emphatic that allowing adult children to debate and challenge boundaries is a sign of disrespect.
• She strongly rejects the idea that parents can atone for past mistakes by weakening their current standards.

Relevant Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Your children would never have talked to you that way. That shows disrespect. We don't think it's reasonable for you to charge us. Screw you. Get out of my house. Go tell that to some, you know, landlord someplace." [07:45]
• Dr. Laura: "First thing wrong. You don't make up for the past. You can't. It's there. It happened. From this moment on you have to be appropriate... Don't stop being appropriate in this moment because you feel guilty about stupid stuff you did in the past." [08:12]
• Dr. Laura: "Because you made parenting mistakes in the past doesn't mean you should continue to make them to try to make up for the ones in the past." [08:46]

---

4. Enforcing Consequences & the Need for Proper Parenting

• Dr. Laura lays out clear expectations for adult children: set non-negotiable boundaries and be prepared to follow through.
• She instructs Lisa to give a one-week deadline or move their belongings to the porch.

Relevant Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "So hang up and throw them both out. Tell them they have a week or you'll come and take their stuff and put it out in the front porch." [09:11]
• Lisa: "Can I ask you something else?" [09:21]
• Dr. Laura: "Something else? Make me yell." [09:28]

---

5. Lisa’s Daughter’s New Relationship – Modeling Values

• Lisa’s middle daughter is about to move in with a boyfriend, and Lisa is conflicted about meeting his family.
• Dr. Laura calls out the inconsistency: Lisa herself moved in with her fiancé before marriage, setting a difficult example. Nonetheless, Dr. Laura encourages Lisa to maintain her own standards.

Relevant Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Let me understand. Just like Mommy, she's going to shack up now?... Nonetheless, I'm doing something wrong to make space for you, but I'm not going to stand by and support you doing something wrong. Is the answer." [10:14 - 10:43]

---

6. Final Takeaways: Stepping Into the Matriarch's Role

• Dr. Laura urges Lisa to transcend her guilt and step into her role as a strong, respected mother and family leader.
• Haunting warning: If Lisa doesn’t change, she's harming her children by "letting them play you."

Relevant Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "We need you to be the matriarch now, not the silly woman who gave birth, who was embarrassed for the past. We don’t need you to be that. Get rid of that." [10:52]
• Dr. Laura: "They're playing you now. And you're gonna hurt them by letting them play you." [11:23]

---

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes With Timestamps

• [03:38] Dr. Laura calls Lisa out: "You... baby your adult children."
• [04:37] Dr. Laura’s prescription: "Once they challenged you... you should have said, you're out. You have a week. Both of you out."
• [08:12] Dr. Laura's tough love: "First thing wrong. You don't make up for the past. You can't... From this moment on you have to be appropriate."
• [10:14] On values: "Just like Mommy, she's going to shack up now?... Nonetheless... I'm not going to stand by and support you doing something wrong."
• [10:52] Leadership moment: "We need you to be the matriarch now, not the silly woman who gave birth, who was embarrassed for the past."

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:26] Lisa presents her situation
• [03:45] Discussion about adult children's entitlement and boundaries
• [04:37] Dr. Laura prescribes tough action
• [07:45] The discussion of respect and parental authority
• [08:12] Dr. Laura on guilt and the irrelevance of the past
• [09:46] Lisa asks about her daughter moving in with boyfriend
• [10:52] Dr. Laura on Lisa needing to step up as the family matriarch

---

Overall Tone
Dr. Laura is direct, no-nonsense, and unsparing. She uses a mix of sarcasm and maternal sternness, but beneath is a deep belief in structure, boundaries, and the responsibility of parents to model and insist on adulthood—even, or especially, when it’s difficult.

This episode is especially valuable for listeners dealing with similar family dynamics, struggling to balance love, guilt, and the necessity of enforcing boundaries with adult children.

Transcript

[Chevy Equinox Advertiser]

The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet. Together, let's drive in Walmart's Huluville.

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

Everyone ready their cart? Amazing Black Friday deals are about to start online and in the app. Such great deals to explore everything you love from tech, toys and more. The days to save and the ones to Remember. It's only the 25th to the 30th of November. Set your alarms, don't miss out. These deals are epic. Without a doubt, the who's are all ready. But are you? Walmart Black Friday deals await. Who knew?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day brought to you by Vibriance Super C Serum, the skincare product I use twice a day. Visit vibriance.com drlaura to save 37% and get free shipping. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Lisa welcome to the program.

[Caller Lisa]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thanks for having me.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're very welcome. How can I help?

[Caller Lisa]

So I have three adult children and recently my middle daughter, who was divorced, moved back into the house. I don't live there anymore.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, who lives in your house? Explain why you're not living in your house.

[Caller Lisa]

I'm engaged and I moved in with my fiance a little sooner than I wanted to to make room for her, to be able to take my room. She was in a. She got out of a marriage that was going south. He was a little aggressive. Then she found a roommate situation that got to be pretty ugly. So I offered to let her come home rather than rush into another bad living situation. So that way she could kind of get her footing, figure things out. She has a full time job. She's always been a respectful kid, very responsible. She's got a great career that she's in and she has this big sheepadoodle dog and I said, you can bring him home and you can stay here. I will move out sooner than I wanted to. I didn't believe in. I wanted to be married before I moved out. We are in our 50s, but I was trying to just make a space for her and so she came home And I told her and my son, who's 28, that y' all need to start paying rent because now I'm not here.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Oh, your 28 year old son also lives in the house?

[Caller Lisa]

He does. He does. And he helps with things around the house. He helps with bills. He works full time.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Why at 28 does he not want his own place? And yesteryear people wanted their own place.

[Caller Lisa]

I know he does. Ultimately, that's his goal. But everything is so expensive over here and.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, there's an over here and there's an over there, and there are ways to figure it out. You, sir, baby your adult children. Go ahead.

[Caller Lisa]

I know, I know, I know. I don't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm even doing something I don't want to be doing because I need to baby my adult daughter because she keeps screwing up with relationships and situations and can't make a decent decision about all of these things. So I'm just going to rescue her.

[Caller Lisa]

I know.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And shack up when I didn't want to. So I'm sacrificing my values so I can baby my daughter. I got it. Go ahead.

[Caller Lisa]

It get. It gets better. I know you're going to yell at me.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm not going to bother to yell.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm not going to bother to yell. I promise.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay. So I had. They. They called, the two of them, said, hey, they wanted to meet with me. We don't think it's fair that you're going to charge us rent and not their youngest sister who's in school full time, who also lives there. And I said, well, her job.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Lisa. Lisa. Throw them both out and you would be a proper mother. Once they said that to you, once they challenged you, once they decided that the rules should be a certain way, you should have said, you're out. You have a week. Both of you out. Why don't you two move in together, Brother and sister. Find something and deal with each other. You're both out.

[Caller Lisa]

I did say. I did suggest that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I didn't ask you to suggest anything. I asked you to throw them out and act like a decent mother. Okay, that wasn't yelling.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Was that yelling?

[Caller Lisa]

No, it wasn't. It wasn't. Well, so you allowed them to talk.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

To you that way?

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

A dream is a wish your heart.

[Disney Cruise and Lowe's Advertiser]

Step aboard a Disney cruise and discover.

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

Where memories meet adventure.

[Disney Cruise and Lowe's Advertiser]

Where escape meets imagination.

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

Where magic meets the sea.

[Fandango and Pillsbury Advertiser]

Disney Cruise Line family movie night just got easier with Fandango. Reserve seats in advance, skip the lines, and even cancel if plans change. Plus, with Fandango's, fan club. Save on every trip to the movies. Want to stay in with Fandango at home, you can stream your family favorites right from the couch. Whether it's a weekend outing or a cozy night in Fandango makes movie magic simple for the whole family. Download the Fandango and Fandangoome app today. Holidays feeling hectic? Pillsbury is here to lend a hand. Roll out some magic with cookies, crescents, crusts and more fresh from the oven. Tis the season for big smiles and easy wins with Pillsbury.

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

In Walmart's Huluville. Everyone ready their cart? Amazing Black Friday deals are about to start online and in the app. Such great deals to explore everything you love from tech, toys and more. The days to save and the ones to remember. It's only the 25th to the 30th of November. Set your alarms. Don't miss out. These deals are epic. Without a doubt the who's are all ready. But are you? Walmart Black Friday deals await. Who knew?

[Disney Cruise and Lowe's Advertiser]

Get ready to shop. Lowe's Black Friday doorbuster deals to save $150 on a 30 inch blackstone griddle. Now $299 plus choose a whirlpool top load washer or Midea top freezer refrigerator for just $398. These limited time doorbuster deals go fast so get holiday ready. Today at Lowe's we help you save valid 1128 through 12. One selection varies by location while supplies last. Seeloads.com for more details.

[Caller Lisa]

I. I know I.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

What is it you know if I give you seriously. I'm sorry, what is Are you going to tell me they're both I've got some kind of mental, physical, terrible things. Don't. Don't do that to me. I hate when people throw that in when they're losing an argument.

[Caller Lisa]

No, no, no.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Your children would never have talked to you that way. That shows disrespect. We don't think it's reasonable for you to charge us. Screw you. Get out of my house. Go tell that to some, you know, landlord someplace.

[Caller Lisa]

No, I totally agree. I was I've spent a lot of my the last several years trying to make up for.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I know any parent who is trouble. Woohoo. Woohoo. First thing wrong. You don't make up for the past. You can't. It's there. It happened. From this moment on you have to be appropriate. You don't stop being appropriate in this moment on because you feel guilty about stupid stuff you did in the past. I Don't care what you did in the past simply because it's called P A S T now. I need you not to make more years. Be in the same category of inappropriate parenting.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Because you made parenting mistakes in the past doesn't mean you should continue to make them to try to make up for the ones in the past. You hear that?

[Caller Lisa]

And I've always. I've always tried to, you know, go with the mindset that, you know, you have to be responsible adults and grow good.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, you're not doing that. No, you're not doing that. I know you're not doing that.

[Caller Lisa]

I see that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So hang up and throw them both out. Tell them they have a week or you'll come and take their stuff and put it out in the front porch.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay. Can I ask you something else?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Something else? Make me yell.

[Caller Lisa]

I don't know. You're probably.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

What do you think? I didn't yell so far.

[Caller Lisa]

He said you don't yell.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I said I wouldn't yell at you. I didn't say I don't yell. I retained the. Right. All right, next question. Go ahead.

[Caller Lisa]

All right. All right. Along the same lines, apparently. So she's making another bad decision.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's not your problem. Not your problem. Not your concern. She's an adult.

[Caller Lisa]

Right. She's asking me to meet her boyfriend's family on Saturday after they move into an apartment. And I don't want to until.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay.

[Caller Lisa]

I don't really want to right now.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Let me understand. Just like Mommy, she's going to shack up now? Yes. And say no, I won't move in with a shack up situation. I don't respect it. But, mommy, you're shacking up. That's going to be a tougher one. Nonetheless, I'm doing something wrong to make space for you, but I'm not going to stand by and support you doing something wrong. Is the answer.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I didn't yell. I did good, huh?

[Caller Lisa]

You didn't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you.

[Caller Lisa]

I just was.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

We need you to be the matriarch now, not the silly woman who gave birth, who was embarrassed for the past. We don't need you to be that. Get rid of that.

[Caller Lisa]

I fought really hard to stabilize everything. And they were. You know, they always talked about how much they admired what we went through as a family. And. And now there's just. Just. It's like now they're playing you on.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Their shoulder because you have weak. Yeah. They're playing you now. And you're gonna hurt them by letting them play you.

[Caller Lisa]

Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

All right. My number 1-800-375-2872. Doesn't mean I won't yell at somebody today. I mean, there are times it just seems appropriate to me. Anyway, risk it. Be brave. My number one, 800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on Sponsors to take advantage of the special special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Walmart Black Friday Announcer]

In Walmart's Huluville. Everyone ready their cart? Amazing Black Friday deals are about to start online and in the app. Such great deals to explore. Everything you love from tech, toys and more. The days to save and the ones to remember. It's only the 25th to the 30th. Set your alarms. Don't miss out. These deals are epic. Without a doubt the who's are all ready. But are you Walmart Black Friday deals await. Who knew.