Losing a Parent

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast – "Losing a Parent"

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: June 18, 2026
Episode Theme: Navigating the Loss of a Parent

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Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses the challenging topic of losing a parent, with a particular focus on the distinct grief experienced when the loss occurs during youth or early adulthood. Drawing on listener emails, research, and heartfelt advice, Dr. Laura offers comfort, practical wisdom, and compassionate perspective on coping with grief, dealing with guilt, and finding ways to honor the memory of a loved one.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Unique Pain of Losing a Parent Young

Timestamp: 01:43 – 04:12

• Dr. Laura opens by empathizing with those who lose a parent as minors, young adults, or early in life, stressing how different—more devastating—it can feel than when loss occurs later.
  • "If you're 70 and you lose a parent, you kind of accept it differently. But when you lose a parent, when you're a minor or, say, in your 20s or maybe early 30s and you liked the parent, it's devastating." (Dr. Laura, 01:45)
• She explains grief is not a process with a fixed timeline—there is no set period after which it vanishes.
  • "There isn't, okay, I'm going to grieve for one week, one month, one year, and then I'll be good. No, it's one of those things that's just going to be there." (Dr. Laura, 01:55)
• Major life milestones without the parent—prom, graduation, marriage, parenthood—trigger a resurgence of grief.

2. Grief is Ongoing and Unpredictable

Timestamp: 02:30 – 03:10

• Dr. Laura notes the unpredictable nature of grief; it can emerge suddenly during ordinary, even happy moments triggered by a random memory.
  • "You'll be doing something totally neutral... and suddenly you'll see something that reminds you of them. Pain wells up." (Dr. Laura, 02:43)

3. The Value of ‘Decent’ Family & Addressing Loss

Timestamp: 03:12 – 04:05

• She highlights the privilege of having “decent” family—genetic ties don’t guarantee kindness or connection.
  • "Decent? Not everybody has decent family. Just because people are genetically related doesn't mean they're nice." (Dr. Laura, 03:47)
• For those wondering what to say to a grieving friend, Dr. Laura warns there are “no magic words” and cautions against pretending to relate if one hasn’t had the same experience.
  • "There's nothing you can say to make it all better. And you can't say, I understand, unless your parent died." (Dr. Laura, 03:50)
• She strongly opposes the cliché “They’re in a better place,” deeming it harmful:
  • "Never. That's a despicable thing to say. What place is better than with your loving family?... A better place is right here in my arms." (Dr. Laura, 04:03)

4. Guilt & Envy After a Parent's Death

Timestamp: 04:12 – 05:13

• Guilt is a common response; feeling one could or should have done more is natural but often unwarranted.
  • "So many people call they can't be happy. Guilt over, oh my gosh, I should have said more, done more. But quite frankly, if you miss your parent that much, it's probably because they were terrific." (Dr. Laura, 04:13)
• Guilt can also manifest as resentment toward peers who still have their parents, but Dr. Laura encourages self-restraint and empathy.
  • "Especially if you're young, you might kind of resent people who have what you're missing, like they have a mommy or they have a daddy and it pisses you off. But you've got to really sit on that one because you're suffering. It's not a good thing to wish somebody else were. Oh, gosh, of course not." (Dr. Laura, 04:47)

5. Keeping Memories Alive—Photos and Fondness

Timestamp: 08:03 – 09:04

• Dr. Laura recommends keeping photos and using moments of pain as reminders to cherish positive memories.
  • "Some of you may not want to keep pictures around because it reminds you and makes you sad. I suggest you keep pictures around and every time you look at the picture and you get a feeling of any sort of substitute a fond memory." (Dr. Laura, 08:03)
• She reframes moving forward as a way of honoring a late parent, not a sign of “forgetting”.
  • "Getting on with your life doesn't mean they didn't matter or you're forgetting. It just means that they're gone, you're not, and the very thing they don't have you should not take for granted. You should make the most out of your life. That's how you honor your parents." (Dr. Laura, 08:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the permanence of loss in your heart:
  • "Every time that happens, it's going to be a little jiggle in your heart because the grief doesn't hit you all at once." (Dr. Laura, 02:08)
• On comforting the bereaved:
  • "It's the physical, not the spoken, that makes the difference. One phrase I ask you never to use, ever. So and so is in a better place now. Never." (Dr. Laura, 03:56)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:43–04:12 — Dr. Laura's opening: the pain of losing a parent young, grief isn’t linear
• 04:13–05:13 — Discussion of guilt, envy, and relating to others’ losses
• 08:03–09:04 — Advice on keeping pictures, honoring parents’ memories, and living well

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Tone and Style

Dr. Laura’s language is warm, direct, and empathetic—balancing frank advice with heartfelt encouragement. She validates the listener’s pain yet insists on healthy boundaries and the importance of honoring life.

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Summary Takeaways

• Losing a parent, especially young, leaves an open wound that resurfaces during life milestones.
• Grief is unpredictable; let yourself feel it without schedule or shame.
• Avoid platitudes—offer presence, not hollow comfort (“a better place” is not better than loved ones).
• Guilt is common, but remember: wishing to have done more comes from love, not failure.
• Celebrate your parent’s memory by living well, cherishing photos and sharing fond memories.
• Moving on honors your parents—it doesn’t erase them.

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For questions or to share your experience, visit DrLaura.com or call 1-800-375-2872.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

my opening remarks have to do with losing a parent, especially when you're younger. If you're 70 and you lose a parent, you kind of accept it differently. But when you lose a parent, when you're a minor or, say, in your 20s or maybe early 30s and you liked the parent, it's devastating. And there isn't, okay, I'm going to grieve for one week, one month, one year, and then I'll be good. No, it's one of those things that's just going to be there. And when you're young and you go through major times in life your prom, your graduation, getting married, whatever, having a kid, and that parent is not there to share it with you. Every time that happens, it's going to be a little jiggle in your heart because the grief doesn't hit you all at once. I mean, you'll be doing something totally neutral, having a good time, not thinking at all about anything in particular, and suddenly you'll see something that Reminds you of them. Pain wells up. You do have to admit that it reminds you to appreciate decent family. Decent? Not everybody has decent family. Just because people are genetically related doesn't mean they're nice. Decent, whatever. And one not too unusual call is, I don't know what to say to a friend whose parent has died. Well, there's nothing you can say to make it all better. And you can't say, I understand, unless your parent died. And you can say, been there, done this. It's a bitch. Let me give you a hug. Because at that point, it's the physical, not the spoken, that makes the difference. One phrase I ask you never to use, ever. So and so is in a better place now. Never. That's a despicable thing to say. What place is better than with your loving family? Please don't say that to people. It makes them very upset. A better place is right here in my arms.

[Podcast Host]

And then there's the guilt.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So many people call they can't be happy. Guilt over, oh my gosh, I should have said more, done more. But quite frankly, if you miss your parent that much, it's probably because they were terrific. And if they were terrific, you know darn well they don't want you to be miserable because they're gone. And everybody always leaves things out in life. That's just life. Especially if you're young, you might kind of resent people who have what you're missing, like they have a mommy or they have a daddy and it pisses you off. But you've got to really sit on that one because you're suffering. It's not a good thing to wish somebody else were. Oh, gosh, of course not. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly Ladies. If you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird, you're not alone. It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body needs a little support. And sprouts makes that support easier so you can start feeling more like you. Tons of fresh organic produce for fiber, sprouts, protein and creatine to keep your muscles and bones strong and your energy up, and supplements that can help you manage mood shifts. So whether it's perimenopause, menopause or any other health journey, it's easier at Sprouts Farmer's Market. Here's some common sense advice. Your body needs support to function properly, including your vaginal health, and that includes maintaining a healthy PH balance. New Azo Vaginal Probiotic Mini Chews helps keep that healthy bacterial balance and that helps keep yeast and odor in check. It's great tasting, easy to take, and no pill means no water. That makes it simple to add to your daily routine. And simplicity is how good habits stick. Visit azoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions and safety information.

[Applebee's Announcer]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Now, some of you may not want to keep pictures around because it reminds you and makes you sad. I suggest you keep pictures around and every time you look at the picture and you get a feeling of any sort of substitute a fond memory. Don't we all want to be remembered fondly? Sure we do. This is on just life, cycle of life, circle of life and getting on with your life doesn't mean they didn't matter or you're forgetting. It just means that they're gone, you're not, and the very thing they don't have you should not take for granted. You should make the most out of your life. That's how you honor your parents. Truthfully, that is how you honor your parents. My number 1-800-375-2872.

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[Podcast Host]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources

[Applebee's Announcer]

provided by Lily for those crazy, busy, crazy hungry days when cooking family dinner is off the table, there's Applebee's all you can eat, a table full of unlimited favorites for just $15.99. You get all the tender signature riblets, all the crispy boneless wings, all the golden brown double crunched shrimp, and endless classic FR fries at a family friendly price. Applebee's all you can eat for just $15.99 per person per order. Now that's eaten good in the neighborhood. Limited time only, so hurry into your nearest Applebee's today.