Making A Change

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Making A Change
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger reflects on personal transformation, focusing on how she has learned to be kinder and more forgiving to herself through mistakes. By sharing formative childhood experiences and adult learning moments, Dr. Laura offers listeners practical strategies to let go of harsh self-criticism and embrace growth through making— and learning from—mistakes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Dr. Laura’s Past: High Expectations and Self-Criticism

• Academic Pressure and Childhood Story (01:01 – 06:02)
  • Dr. Laura recounts being placed in a remedial ("stupid") math class in junior high.
  • Her father advocates for her, getting her moved into algebra despite the late date.
  • She spends her Christmas vacation catching up, managing to ace the first test back.
  • The pressure culminates in anxiety during the final exam, causing her to underperform.
  • She identifies a pattern of self-judgment: "if I didn't get it immediately, I'd be very hard on myself."

Quote:
“It was a pattern in my life that... if I didn't get it immediately, I'd be very hard on myself.”
— Dr. Laura (05:46)

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Acknowledging and Transforming Self-Talk

• Early Adulthood Hurdles (08:16 – 10:00)

  • Dr. Laura describes her tendency to give up on tasks quickly when not immediately successful (e.g., sewing).
  • She connects this impatience and self-condemnation to her upbringing and prior experiences.

• How Change Happened (10:00 – 11:35)

  • She outlines her new approach: rather than self-criticism, she reframes failures as learning.
    • “I just learned how not to do it,” becomes her internal mantra.
    • This shift triggers creativity: “Can I remedy this in any way? Is there some way I can still use this?”

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A Recent Example: Leather Craft and Mistakes

• Practical Application and Real-Time Learning (11:35 – 13:40)
  • Dr. Laura illustrates the change with a story about using a skiver machine for leatherwork.
    • She makes a mistake by placing the leather the wrong way, marring the good side.
    • Initial frustration (“I said a few bad words”) gives way to analysis.
    • She recognizes the error as an unseen (internal) part of the project.
    • The episode ends not in self-recrimination, but with reflection and amusement.

Quote:
“Now I’ll never make that mistake... And can I remedy this? I realized you’re not going to be able to see that ever, because it’ll be in the seam allowance...”
— Dr. Laura (12:23)

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The Takeaway: From Self-Judgment to Elation

• Personal Growth & Practical Advice (13:40 – 14:58)
  • Dr. Laura distills two key steps for listeners:
    1. Give yourself credit for learning, not just succeeding.
    2. Seek creative solutions for “mistakes,” often discovering upgrades or new ideas.
  • She encourages listeners to swap the harsh inner voice (often modeled on demanding parents or teachers) for curiosity and self-forgiveness.

Quote:
“What relief and what peace I have in my life now that I’ve changed my reaction from turning on me to exhilaration because I learned something and I created something.”
— Dr. Laura (13:56)

• She extends an invitation for audience participation, urging others to share stories of personal growth and change.

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On Parental Influence:
  “I grew up with an attitude inside that if I didn't get it immediately, I'd be very hard on myself.” (05:46)
• On Embracing Mistakes:
  “I just learned how not to do it... which means I learned number two. How do I... can I remedy this in any way? Is there some way I can still use this?” (10:45)
• On Evolution and Peace:
  “What relief and what peace I have in my life now that I’ve changed my reaction from turning on me to exhilaration because I learned something and I created something.” (13:56)
• Final Encouragement:
  “Give up the harsh voice—your mother, your father, whoever, a teacher— and work into being kinder to yourself and giving yourself points for learning how not to make the same mistake or a similar one.” (13:13)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:01 – 06:02 | Childhood story: Math class, parental pressure, academic anxiety
• 08:16 – 10:00 | How early adulthood repeated this pattern of self-criticism
• 10:00 – 11:35 | Describing the mindset shift: learning from mistakes
• 11:35 – 13:40 | Leatherwork story illustrating new approach to errors
• 13:40 – 14:58 | Takeaways: letting go of self-judgment, embracing growth

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Summary Tone

Dr. Laura’s style in this episode is open, reflective, and gently directive—she uses personal vulnerability not only to connect but also motivate. Her message is clear: the journey from self-criticism to self-compassion is achievable, deeply rewarding, and available to anyone willing to challenge those ingrained, harsh inner voices.

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Invitation to the Audience

Dr. Laura closes by encouraging listeners to share the episode, leave reviews, and participate in their own journeys of change—reminding everyone that growth comes from kindness both to ourselves and others.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue sponsored by Native Path Collagen, the collagen I take daily to support healthy joints, skin, bones and gut. Go to getnativepath.com drlaura for free shipping and a special bundle deal at a fraction of the retail price. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] I want to talk about me. I think it'll be helpful for you. I'm planning on it being helpful for you. I'm hoping it'll be helpful for you. But I'm going to talk about me. A transformation I've made over the years. When I grew up, my dad was. He was tough, difficult, tough. I'm not quite sure where to put it, but he was quite demanding of me, academically in particular. I told you all one time about what happened. When I was in junior high school, they put me in the stupid math class. That's what it was, the stupid math class. So instead of doing algebra, they had me doing like arithmetic. And just. It was. I came home and said, they have me in this stupid math class. And by this time it's close to Christmas and school started in September in those days. Now it starts in August. So I came home and I said, this is just too dumb. And I showed him what I was doing and he said, you're right, this is way too dumb. And so he goes to school, talks to the teachers who make these decisions and says she shouldn't be in this class. And they said, well. So he said, put her in the algebra class. And they said it's Christmas time. It's a little late to be doing that. September, October, November, December. What's that? A third of the year? Done. So he said, that's all right, put her in there. He got the math book that they were using for algebra. And what I did for two weeks of Christmas vacation, I will never forget this. I did every question in the book, day and night. That's all I did. Go to sleep, wake up, have breakfast, do math, have lunch, do math, have dinner, do math, go to bed, get up. The next day I had to catch up for September, October, November and most of December. I still love algebra. I found it. I just found it so neat and pure and it made sense. The formulas, all of that. I loved it. Geometry, forget about me. Could never understand any of it but algebra, it's just beautiful. It's musical. First you do this part, then you do that part, then you put these parts together. And it was. I knew all the formulas went back after the Christmas vacation. The teacher gave an exam. I was the only one to get 100. Wait, this gets worse. The teacher was really annoyed and he made a big. The only person to get 100. And he puts my paper down. Laura. I didn't care about his attitude. I just loved to go home with a hundred on my page. The final exam came and I got like a B on it. Why? I freaked out because so much was dependent on it. My dad, the teacher, the school, you know, that everybody made a big deal about. I couldn't do it. I could do it. So I ended up with a B in the class instead of an A because when I sat down for the final, my brain just went blank. And it was a pattern in my life that. I mean, I worked very hard in school. It was a pattern in my. Well, I didn't work hard in high school. I hated high school. When I got to college, I was amazing. But in high school it was just. Most of it was boring and annoying. So anyway, the important part that I'm trying to tell you is I grew up with an attitude inside that if I didn't get it immediately, I'd be very hard on myself.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You obviously know already from my story where I got that from. I had to get it immediately and I could up to a certain point. I'm a very quick study, but the pressure would just flatten me out. Now all the way through life when I was trying to do something, anything, open a jar. I'm being silly now. I mean I had to understand and learn it quickly or I would be very tough on myself. So for example, I took up sewing and I was trying to make a dress one time and I was well into my 20s and I just couldn't get it right and lost it. That was it. I wasn't going to finish it. So I had to fight that reaction of undermining myself if I didn't get things immediately. Fast forward to now when I don't get things immediately. Wonderful thing. Two wonderful things happen. One, I figure, well, I just learned how not to do it. Actually, that's what transpires in my brain. I just learned how not to do it, which means I learned number two. How do I. Can I remedy this in any way? Is there some way I can still use this? Can I fix this in some way? Some clever thing so you start to get creative. So two things happen to me now. I learned something, and I love learning. I am really just hungry all the time for learning and taking on challenges, which is why you see in my boutiques, all the different art forms I have learned. And now I'm making leather purses and things. That's really complicated, and it requires a lot of equipment and tools that you have to learn. So I'll give you an example of what happened the other day, which pleased me so much I decided to talk to you about it today. Leather comes in all kinds of thicknesses and stiffness. So some of it is pretty thick or pretty stiff. Now, it's hard to sew that, even with an industrial machine, which I now have, of course. And when you have to fold things over, you know, it becomes unwieldy, doesn't really fold well because it's so thick. So there's something they call skiving, which you can do by hand, which is very tough, and to get even, or you get a skiver machine, which means you put the leather through at a certain pressure, and it takes off a certain amount, so it becomes thinner where you have to sew. So I was setting up the machine, and I was so excited that I was using it for the third time, and I remembered how to use it, except I put the leather down the wrong way so it took the edge off the top quote. That shows. So I looked at it, and I said a few bad words, all four letters, and looked at it and went, oh, hmm. Well, now I have to remember that when I put it on the scything machine, the good side has to be facing me. So now I'll never make that mistake. And. And can I remedy this? And I realized you're not going to be able to see that ever, because it'll be in the seam allowance, meaning here's the two pieces you sew here. This is inside the bag. You can't see it. And I stood there and I looked and I went, what an evolution from being really hard on myself and being critical and sometimes a little rude and mean to myself for having made a mistake. I know where that came from. I already explained that. But I am presenting myself here to you today with this information so that you can be inspired to do the same. Give up the harsh voice, your mother, your father, whoever, a teacher, and work into being kinder to yourself and giving yourself points for learning how not to make the same mistake or a similar one. And number two, even though it's a mistake, can I do something with it? And I have done some clever things with mistakes that I think even improved the situation because you have to be creative and clever. And when you're creative and clever and noting in your mind how to do something right next time, how to ensure that you'll do it right, you can't be mean to yourself when you're doing that. Instead, you feel like I felt the other day when I was skiving and made a boo boo. I thought, what relief and what peace I have in my life now that I've changed my reaction from turning on me to exhilaration because I learned something and I created something. I figured something out that's elation and that's sort of like an outward whoo as opposed to an inward oh, damn it, screwed up again. So these are the kinds of evolutions I'd like to take you through. So you give me a call as well as listen to the program. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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