Managing Anxiety Before Taking on the Stress of Motherhood

Summary

Summary of "Managing Anxiety Before Taking on the Stress of Motherhood"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: May 22, 2025

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the intricate challenges faced by prospective mothers grappling with anxiety, particularly in the context of infertility treatments and the impending responsibilities of motherhood. The episode features a heartfelt conversation with Sasha, a caller navigating the emotional turmoil of infertility and fear of medical procedures.

Caller’s Dilemma: Infertility and Anxiety

Sasha initiates the discussion by sharing her struggle with infertility, detailing her experience with three unsuccessful intrauterine inseminations (IUI) and the daunting prospect of undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF). Her primary concern revolves around the need for general anesthesia during IVF procedures, which triggers intense anxiety.

Notable Quote:
Sasha expresses her fear poignantly:
"I'm afraid of the anesthesia. Where did that come from?"
(00:34)

Exploring the Roots of Anxiety

Dr. Laura probes deeper into the origins of Sasha's anxiety, prompting her to reflect on past experiences. Sasha reveals that her fear stems from a childhood surgery involving anesthesia for her tonsils and adenoids, a memory that left her feeling out of control and contributes to her general anxiety.

Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura questions the source of Sasha’s fear:
"Where does this come from?"
(01:29)

Sasha responds thoughtfully:
"I think it came from when I was younger... it was kind of like a surprise."
(01:38)

Current Anxiety Management Strategies

Sasha discusses her ongoing battle with anxiety, highlighting her commitment to managing it through therapy and medication. She mentions participating in a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills class and taking Lexapro, which has significantly alleviated her panic attacks.

Notable Quotes:
Sasha shares her coping mechanisms:
"I haven't had one [panic attack] in about two years now, but I still just struggle with general anxiety."
(07:04)

Dr. Laura inquires about her medication regimen:
"May I ask what you're taking?"
(07:08)

Addressing the Fear of Anesthesia

Dr. Laura empathizes with Sasha’s apprehensions regarding anesthesia, acknowledging that the fear is valid, especially for someone with anxiety disorders. She advises Sasha to discuss pre-anesthesia sedation options with her anesthesiologist to mitigate her fears during the procedure.

Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura offers practical advice:
"You need to talk to the anesthesiologist about that, that you have a lot of anxiety."
(10:00)

Sasha appreciates the suggestion:
"I will take that. Thank you."
(11:54)

Preparing for Motherhood’s Challenges

The conversation shifts to the broader stress associated with becoming a new mother. Dr. Laura underscores the significant hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and uncertainty inherent in early motherhood. She emphasizes the importance of having a reliable support system, recommending that Sasha enlist her mother’s help post-birth.

Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura highlights the stress factors:
"Becoming a new mother is extremely stressful... it's extremely stressful under the best of conditions."
(11:55)

Sasha confirms her support system:
"My mother... she hops on any opportunity she can to be here."
(12:48)

Considering Alternative Paths to Motherhood

In the latter part of the call, Dr. Laura gently introduces the idea of adoption as a viable alternative if infertility treatments do not yield the desired results. Sasha resonates with this perspective, acknowledging that her ultimate goal is motherhood, regardless of the path taken.

Notable Quotes:
Dr. Laura suggests:
"If all these things fail, then you have to think of plan B, which might be adoption."
(13:40)

Sasha reflects on this advice:
"Even if I have to adopt, I would still feel so fulfilled. Because it's not about being pregnant, it's about being a mom."
(14:03)

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Dr. Laura commend Sasha for her openness to alternative solutions and encourages her to continue seeking support and guidance as she navigates her journey toward motherhood. The episode concludes with Dr. Laura reaffirming her support and inviting listeners to stay connected for further advice.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Laura closes with encouragement:
"Let me know. Give me a call with whatever happens."
(14:34)

---

This episode provides a relatable and insightful exploration of the emotional complexities surrounding infertility and the anticipation of motherhood. Dr. Laura’s compassionate guidance offers valuable strategies for managing anxiety and underscores the importance of a strong support system during such a pivotal life transition.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Dasha.

Welcome to the program.

[Sasha]

Hi, Dr. Laura. It's an honor to speak to you. I love you so much. You're my idol. So I wanted to get your opinion on something. My husband and I are going through infertility and we just finished with our third iui, which then failed. And the next step would either be a fourth iui, which they don't think would be the way to go, or going into ivf, which requires going under general anesthesia, which is my number one biggest fear. And I'm terrified. I'm not terrified of the surgery itself. I'm afraid of the anesthesia. Where did that come from? Where did my.

[Dr. Laura]

Where did that fear come from? It's your biggest fear. I mean, we don't experience it every day. So where does this come from?

[Sasha]

I think it came from when I was younger. I was put under anesthesia to get, like, my tonsils and adenoids out, but I really wasn't, like, aware of what was going to happen. Um, so it's kind of like a surprise. Um, and it was kind of like a. I don't want to say, like traumatic, but it was hard, like, the getting over it for a couple days. Um, and I also just have really bad anxiety in general, and being, like, losing control is a big thing for me. So I don't like to, like, drink alcohol or anything.

[Dr. Laura]

I want to help you some more.

But I'm at the top of the hour, so would you be so kind as to stay on hold until I come back?

[Sasha]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, thank you. Be right back with you.

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Going back to Sasha okay Sasha, did you have anything you wanted to say before I respond to your question?

[Sasha]

Actually, yes. So while I was on hold I was thinking more about it and I think more than the tonsil surgery. I think most of it comes from a fear of like death and being not in control.

[Dr. Laura]

Nothing like having a kid to remind you you're really not in control.

[Sasha]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, these are other serious issues. Have you been in psychotherapy for? I mean you're 30 years old. Fear death at your age is worrisome to me.

[Sasha]

Yes, I have.

[Dr. Laura]

And in what way did the therapy help?

[Sasha]

Well, I'm currently taking DBT skills class for skills on how to manage my anxiety.

[Dr. Laura]

When we talk about anxiety, what are you talking about?

[Sasha]

So I used to have bad panic attacks, but those have gotten better. I haven't had one in about two years now, but I still just struggle with general anxiety.

[Dr. Laura]

Are you medicated for the anxiety?

[Sasha]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

May I ask what you're taking?

[Sasha]

I'm Lexapro.

[Dr. Laura]

Aha. And how is that working for you?

[Sasha]

Definitely helped a lot. It's helped a lot. And then we have went up on my dose recently. I do feel like that helped.

[Dr. Laura]

The dose went up or down?

[Sasha]

I didn't hear that it went up.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Are they telling you about being pregnant while you're on an antidepressant? Has anybody talked to you about that?

[Sasha]

Yes. I've spoke to my psychiatrist, my fertility doctor, and my OB GYN and they all said that the medication I'm on is okay to take. So it's like risks versus benefits. And if I'm not mentally well, then the baby won't be. It's one of the medications that are safer to take while pregnant.

[Dr. Laura]

Have you talked to anybody, the psychiatrist, about the stress of being a mother?

[Sasha]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

And what are your thoughts about the difficulties in being a new mother and your psychiatric concerns?

[Sasha]

I know that being a new mother is going to be hard. Obviously I haven't experienced it yet, so I'm sure it's harder than I think. But being a mom is my ultimate goal.

[Dr. Laura]

I.

[Sasha]

Have been listening to you for a long time. So my husband and I did the whole thing with making sure that I'll be able to be a stay at home mom and put my all in that by putting all my money that I'm making away so he's able to financially take care of the family. So I've been doing all the things I can and now I'm trying to just, you know, get as much skilled help as I can now so that when the baby comes, I'll be well equipped to handle the anxieties and stress of it.

[Dr. Laura]

How will you be equipped to handle the anxiety?

[Sasha]

By using skills that I'm learning.

[Dr. Laura]

Ah, okay. All righty then. First of all, I don't like the feeling of going under general anesthesia either. Don't like it. Same feeling. And I don't think one needs anxiety disorders to have that sense of oh God, oh God and going under. Some people find it pleasant. I agree with you. It's scary. I agree with you. And I've had to deal with that because of various and sundry issues. It's not my favorite thing in the universe. However, one of the things that your anesthesiologist can talk to you about is pre anesthesia sedation for the anxiety. Something like works on a lot of people. I'm just giving a thing. You would talk about Demerol if you were shot in your tush of Demerol.

[Sasha]

And.

[Dr. Laura]

And as far as you're concerned, the world is the happiest fun place and you have no anxiety when they give you the anesthesia, you're not even thinking about it. So there are pre anesthesia medications which will make you smile and then make the next step easier. So you need to talk to the anesthesiologist about that, that you have a lot of anxiety. You don't want to feel the sense of falling into a coma like thing. And you know they'll give you a shot or put it in your IV of something that will make you really feel great, which is why a lot of people abuse drugs. So that's my recommendation. Part two.

[Sasha]

I will take that. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Part part two. I am concerned because becoming a new mother is extremely stressful. It's extreme stressfulness. It's not easy because your body is all whacked out because of all the hormones that you've been going through for a better part of a year, and they don't subside immediately and the transition and the lack of sleep and not knowing what the hell you're doing most of the time and if it's the right thing to do. It's extremely stressful under the best of conditions. So do you have somebody who is very calm and relaxed, whom you trust, who could be with you for several months after you give birth, and if so, who is that?

[Sasha]

I do. My mother.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Does your husband get along with your mother?

[Sasha]

Yes, very well.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. So it would not be stressful for him to have her around helping you?

[Sasha]

No, it would not.

[Dr. Laura]

And could she take a month or two and be there?

[Sasha]

Yes, she hops on any opportunity she can to be here.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, that's good, too. All right, I suggest a sedative shot beforehand, but talk to your anesthesiologist about what he or she recommends. You'll get a shot and you'll feel really relaxed and happy.

[Sasha]

Okay. Thank you, doctor. Laura, I love you.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, if all these. Thank you, sweetheart. But if all these things fail, then you have to think of plan B, which might be adoption. Because the point is being, of course.

[Sasha]

Okay, so I heard you a couple, I think it was a couple weeks ago, talking to this woman who, she was like 45 and she never had kids because she couldn't bear her own children. And I loved what you said, and I was literally talking to my husband about it last night, how you were like, did you want to be pregnant or did you want to be a mom? And that, like, hit me in such a way that I was like, even if I have to adopt, I would still feel so fulfilled. Because it's not about being pregnant, it's about being a mom.

[Dr. Laura]

Good, because right now you're putting yourself through a lot of chemistry and frustration and it's expensive. So you might want to sit and think, okay, how many more times am I going to put myself through this? And what are the other options? So I'm glad you're open to that, sweetheart. Let me know. Give me a call with whatever happens. My number. 1-800-375-2872.

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