My Baby Is Not Welcome

Summary

---

Dr. Laura Call of the Day – “My Baby Is Not Welcome”

Date: October 7, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest Caller: Hannah

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura counsels Hannah, a mother struggling with her in-laws’ request for a child-free family dinner on the eve of her sister-in-law’s wedding. Hannah is torn between respecting her mother-in-law’s wishes and caring for her five-month-old baby, who cannot be left with a sitter or take a bottle, while her husband is urging her to “keep the peace.” Dr. Laura applies her signature directness, focusing on boundaries, family priorities, and marital dynamics.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dilemma: An Adult-Only Dinner

• Situation: Hannah’s in-laws have requested a “kid-free” wedding dinner.

• Challenge: Hannah’s five-month-old is exclusively breastfed and cannot be left behind.

• Hannah’s Query: How to navigate this family expectation while caring for her baby graciously.

  “I asked if my 5 month old could come to dinner with us because he doesn't really take a bottle and it's more comfortable.” — Hannah (01:51)

2. Husband’s Response: “Keep the Peace”

• Husband’s Stance: Believes it would be easier not to push back and to go along with his mother’s wishes.

• Dr. Laura’s Reaction: Immediate dismay at the husband’s lack of advocacy for Hannah.

  “Oh my God, you married that kind of man… Why do you women do that? You don't marry Churchills, you marry…” — Dr. Laura (03:04)

  “When a man says, I want to keep the peace with my mother, that means he... He's okay not keeping peace with you because peace means one of the two have to eat it.” — Dr. Laura (03:34)

3. Dr. Laura’s No-Nonsense Advice

• Direct Solution: Dr. Laura suggests Hannah simply not attend the dinner, and let her husband go with his family alone.

• Reasoning: Emphasizes prioritizing the baby’s needs and Hannah’s comfort over appeasing in-law demands.

  “In my never to be humble opinion, the dinner on Wednesday night, you let him go without you, he'll be with his mother and sister. That'll be nice.” — Dr. Laura (04:00)

4. Marital Dynamics & Setting Priorities

• Unequal Compromise: Dr. Laura highlights the dangerous pattern of husbands siding with their own families instead of their wives, terming such husbands “wimps.”

• True Support: She reminds Hannah of her authority as a mother, stating childcare decisions are hers alone.

  “You're the mother, you want the diaper. A certain diaper changed a certain way. It's your baby, you rule.” — Dr. Laura (08:53)

5. Noteworthy Exchanges and Humor

• Diaper Story: Hannah’s previous instance of “getting her way” was about diapering preferences, which Dr. Laura dismisses as trivial compared to the real issue of childcare and boundaries.

  “Your husband actually said you got your way about changing a diaper. Look, if you talk to me anymore, you're going to hate your husband so I think we got to stop this now.” — Dr. Laura (09:19)

6. On In-Law Behavior & Grandparent Expectations

• Reflections on Healthy In-Laws: Dr. Laura expresses bewilderment at in-laws who prioritize their convenience or social plans over supporting young mothers.

  “If I was your mother in law, I'd say, ah, shit. Okay, let's find a place where you can bring the baby. I'd want to make peace with having you be with your baby. How selfish is it? You dump your kids and be with me. I would say that to my daughter in law. Are you serious?” — Dr. Laura (10:47)

• On Grandparents Complaining: She tells Hannah that if her in-laws are truly upset about not seeing the children, they should make the travel effort themselves.

  “If you want to see a baby, get on a plane, get on a train, get in your car, get in a bus. But I'm not schlepping a baby around.” — Dr. Laura (11:23, 11:40)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|-----------|-------| | 03:04 | Dr. Laura | “Oh my God, you married that kind of man. Oh jeez, why do you women do that? You don't marry Churchills, you marry…” | | 03:34 | Dr. Laura | “When a man says, I want to keep the peace with my mother, that means he... He's okay not keeping peace with you because peace means one of the two have to eat it.” | | 04:00 | Dr. Laura | “In my never to be humble opinion, the dinner on Wednesday night, you let him go without you, he'll be with his mother and sister. That'll be nice.” | | 08:53 | Dr. Laura | “You're the mother, you want the diaper. A certain diaper changed a certain way. It's your baby, you rule.” | | 10:47 | Dr. Laura | “If I was your mother in law, I'd say, ah, shit. Okay, let's find a place where you can bring the baby. I'd want to make peace with having you be with your baby. How selfish is it? You dump your kids and be with me...” | | 11:40 | Dr. Laura | “If you want to see a baby, get on a plane... But I'm not schlepping a baby around.” |

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:45 – Hannah details her family’s travel and the nature of her dilemma.
• 02:53 – Hannah explains her baby’s needs and mother-in-law’s request.
• 03:04 – Dr. Laura reacts critically to Hannah’s husband’s stance.
• 04:00 – Dr. Laura gives her direct advice to Hannah.
• 08:53 – Discussion about “winning” small battles, like diapering.
• 10:47 – Dr. Laura lays out her view on ideal in-law behavior.
• 11:40 – Discussion about grandparent expectations and responsibilities.

---

Closing Takeaways

• Boundaries Matter: Dr. Laura underscores the importance of setting boundaries with extended family, especially when it comes to the well-being of children.
• Spousal Support Is Key: The episode highlights how undermining a partner to appease parents can lead to resentment and imbalance in marriage.
• Parental Authority: Decisions regarding childcare rest with the parents, not with grandparents or extended family, and mothers shouldn’t be guilted for prioritizing their children’s needs.
• Reflection on Family Dynamics: Dr. Laura's tongue-in-cheek humor (“In your next life, pick a better mother-in-law!”) underscores the universality and challenge of navigating in-law relationships.

---

For listeners:
This episode poignantly underscores Dr. Laura’s pragmatic, hard-hitting approach to family dilemmas—reminding parents not to acquiesce at the expense of their child's or own well-being, and encouraging listeners to cultivate strong, supportive spousal dynamics.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

Shoes aren't really built to last anymore. Seriously. Some footwear barely survives a season, but L.L. bean doesn't chase trends. They've been crafting quality boots for over a century. With full grain leather, durable rubber bottoms and triple needle stitching, Bean boots are meant to last and built to easily handle the great outdoors. Each pair becomes more personal, more distinctive and uniquely yours.

[Commercial Narrator]

L.L.

[Dr. Laura]

Bean boots are simply best worn. Find your [e-mail] Mint Mobile's favorite word is no. Just like a toddler contracts no monthly bills, no hidden fees, overages, B.S. no no no. The benefit of saying yes to all of Mint Mobile's no's is premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month and you can bring your phone and your number with you. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mint mobile.com DrLaura that's mintmobile.com DrLora upfront payment of $45 required. That's equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Hannah welcome to the program.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Hi Dr. Lara, thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you. How can I help?

[Hannah (Caller)]

I have a quick question about dealing with a mother in law hoping to come. I see. Hoping to come to a solution of just just handling her graciously and there's a specific incident in mind. So tomorrow actually we my in laws are out of state and we are my family husband and two kids I'll build are flying to their state for my sister in law's wedding. I'm on the phone and part of the festivities is a dinner on Wednesday that my mother in law and sister in law have requested be adult only so kid free. I have a 2 year old who was 2 the end of June and a 5 month old. I asked if my 5 month old could come to dinner with us because he doesn't really take a bottle and it's more comfortable.

[Dr. Laura]

Hannah what did your husband say?

[Hannah (Caller)]

He says that it would be easier to keep the peace for him to.

[Dr. Laura]

Say oh my God you married that kind of man. Oh geez, why do you women do that? You don't marry Churchills, you marry.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Yeah, I'M sorry.

[Dr. Laura]

He's a wimp. Yes. Stay home with the kid, please. You're already behind the eight ball. Marrying a guy who said that?

[Hannah (Caller)]

Oh, I mean.

[Dr. Laura]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Okay. That's three listens to me. I guess that means you don't want to. Let's try one more. Listen to me. When a man says, I want to keep the peace with my mother, that means he. He's okay not keeping peace with you because peace means one of the two have to eat it.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

It's you. In my never to be humble opinion, the dinner on Wednesday night, you let him go without you, he'll be with his mother and sister. That'll be nice.

[Hannah (Caller)]

And I guess. Okay. And the fact that you. I mean, you can't. Yeah, I know. I. I can't really rationalize anything else. I mean, that's the most comfortable for me. Obviously. I would like to be with.

[Dr. Laura]

Do it.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Okay.

[Commercial Narrator]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through October 19th. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton America's Builder and Equal Housing Opportunity Builder.

[Dr. Laura]

Hey, Fidelity.

[Commercial Narrator]

How can I remember to invest every month?

With the Fidelity app, you can choose a schedule and set up recurring investments in stocks and ETFs.

[Dr. Laura]

Huh.

[Commercial Narrator]

That sounds easier than I thought.

You got this?

Yeah, I do. Now, where did I put my keys?

You will find them where you left them.

Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, llc. Member nyse, sipc.

They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Call 877-41-America for a free coverage review.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know what I do without the help of my peeps here on the Dr. Laura program. Have I told you about the peep I rely on at home? I'm talking about suv. My kitchen robot who does an excellent job of keeping me fed. SUVI makes it simple to prepare gourmet meals with no prep, no shop, no cook and very little cleanup. Just the way I like it. Thanks to built in refrigeration, my chef designed sous vide meals. Stay safely cool Until I want them cooked. I just pop one in, set the schedule, let sous vide handle the rest. My sous vide's a whiz at cooking thanks to multiple modes like air fry, bake, roast, slow cook, and sous vide. Discover why I've had a sous vide in my kitchen for five years. Get your own sous vide and 16 free meals for two at SUV.com DrLora that's s u v I e dot com DrLora At Walgreens, we know flu.

[Commercial Narrator]

Season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our flu.

Info in a meditation, keeping you calm, just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little needle nervous. So walk in or schedule an appointment and Walgreens will handle the rest.

[Dr. Laura]

That's the human kind of help.

[Commercial Narrator]

Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age and health related restrictions may apply.

[Hannah (Caller)]

I guess I was thinking you would say that.

[Dr. Laura]

It's not just his mommy and sister who matter. You're there for the freaking wedding. Give it a break. If you married a man who wants peace with you losing, you have to really have regrets when you're 90.

[Hannah (Caller)]

No, I mean he. This is not the first kind of issue that we've had even with this, with us traveling and going for this. So it was kind of like you've been you. I have gotten my way with other things. It's kind of like let her have something. I think that's where he's coming from. So my. It was how much. How much support.

[Dr. Laura]

That's a good rationalization. Keep the p. What did you get your way with that? Your mother had to eat it, your sister in law had to eat it. Your mother in law, tell me what you got your way with that. They had to eat.

[Hannah (Caller)]

This is going to. You're going to. Oh, you will laugh. A diapering issue. Not even issue, just diapering. How I want a diaper when I'm. When I'm there and them not liking it, which might not even make sense.

[Dr. Laura]

Need I bring to your attention that Need I bring to your attention that this has nothing to do with the relationship? You're the mother. You decide this stuff. You're the mother, you want the diaper. A certain diaper changed a certain way. It's your baby, you rule.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Yeah, I feel your husband actually said woo hoo.

[Dr. Laura]

Your husband actually said you got your way about changing a diaper. Look, if you talk to me anymore, you're going to hate your husband so I think we got to stop this now. Seriously. Because he's lost so many points with me with what you've been telling me.

[Hannah (Caller)]

To get him back in your good graces. The first time I called you, you kind of beat me over the head so bad that I quit my job and now am a stay at home mom, which I absolutely love. And he was very happy that I made that decision. So thank you for that.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. I like that.

[Hannah (Caller)]

He's a good guy, I promise.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, tell your good guy that you're not interested in making peace, you're interested in taking care of your baby.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Okay, follow up. Although it's a blowback because I do want to be. I want to have a relationship with you people. They're my family.

[Dr. Laura]

If they're going to punish you. Yeah, be mean to you. Say mean things about you because you want to take care of your baby instead of going out to a restaurant. What kind of people are these anyway?

[Hannah (Caller)]

Oh, fair. I didn't think about that.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you need to think about that. If I was your mother in law, I'd say, ah, shit. Okay, let's find a place where you can bring the baby. I'd want to make peace with having you be with your baby. How selfish is it? You dump your kids and be with me. I would say that to my daughter in law. Are you serious?

[Hannah (Caller)]

I think you're right.

[Dr. Laura]

That wouldn't happen.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Yeah, when she comments on how we never. They never get to see the kids because we live out of state and.

[Dr. Laura]

Get on an airplane.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Well, that's fair. Fair point. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

If you were my daughter in law, you wouldn't have to come to see me with a baby. I would tell you. Don't you freaking dare. I'll come. You got the wrong mother in law, woman. Sorry. You should have gotten me. Because all these things that these mother mothers in law do. I don't understand how selfless and selfish and thoughtless these actions are. We don't get to see the baby. You're just a bad daughter in law. Well, I have. If you want to see a baby, get on a plane, get on a train, get in your car, get in a bus. But I'm not schlepping a baby around.

[Hannah (Caller)]

Okay? That's it.

[Dr. Laura]

So in your next life, I should make 14 sons and get good daughters in law and treat them properly. My number 1-800-375. Assuming they're all nice. She sounded very nice. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on sponsor to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Commercial Narrator]

A Sapphire Reserve story from David Chang.

So I was at a Chase Sapphire lounge and I saw a burger on the menu. I took a bite and I was blown away. Took another bite and I was like, whoa, this is really special. And I couldn't figure out why. Was it the bun? Was it the sauce? The blend of meat? I want to find delicious things in places where you would never think it was going to be. I would do a layover for that burger.

Access to Sapphire Airport Lounges with Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding. See More [e-mail] Reserve IT cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member of the IC subject to credit approval terms apply.