My Boyfriend's Kids Don't Like Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day Episode: My Boyfriend's Kids Don't Like Me
Release Date: August 6, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt concern from Alexis, a listener grappling with familial acceptance issues in her long-term relationship. The episode delves into the complexities of blending families, personal boundaries, and the challenges that arise when adult children of a partner resist accepting a new significant other.

The Call: Alexis's Dilemma

Timestamp: 00:43 – 01:08

Alexis begins by outlining her situation:

Alexis [00:43]: "I am in a 10-year relationship. We were engaged. I gave him the ring back. We're having difficulty not with my adult children, but with his adult children accepting me."

She explains that despite a significant commitment spanning a decade, her partner's adult children are intentionally excluding her from important family events and communications.

Key Concerns:

• Exclusion from invitations to events like weddings and graduations.
• Lack of inclusion in group texts and social gatherings.
• Emotional strain from feeling unwelcome in her partner's family circles.

Dr. Laura's Initial Response

Timestamp: 01:08 – 02:26

Dr. Laura seeks to understand the specific behaviors causing strain:

Dr. Laura [01:08]: "What do his children do that's problematic? What do they actually do?"

Alexis responds by highlighting the intentional exclusion from invitations and family events.

Dr. Laura then raises a pivotal question:

Dr. Laura [02:07]: "Why should they have to? You're their dad's girlfriend, right?"

She emphasizes the importance of personal boundaries and suggests that the lack of acceptance may be rooted in her partner's inability to prioritize the relationship over his children.

Analyzing the Relationship Dynamics

Timestamp: 02:26 – 04:30

Dr. Laura provides a broader perspective on relationships involving adult children:

Dr. Laura [02:26]: "When people get married with kids who are problematic, about three quarters of the time people divorce because it's so unpleasant."

She advises Alexis to reassess her expectations and consider the realistic outcomes of her relationship, especially given that second and third marriages often carry higher failure rates due to existing emotional baggage.

Alexis shares an additional layer to her predicament:

Alexis [03:39]: "There is an age difference too."

Dr. Laura addresses this, noting that an age difference of 17 years doesn't inherently complicate the family dynamics but underscores that her partner is unwilling to prioritize her over his children.

Confronting the Reality

Timestamp: 04:12 – 08:00

Dr. Laura confronts Alexis with a blunt assessment of her partner's character:

Dr. Laura [04:21]: "But he's not that kind of man. And you've wasted 10 years of your life with a man who's not that kind of man."

Alexis acknowledges the truth in Dr. Laura's words but reveals her deep-seated hope that the situation would improve over time. Dr. Laura challenges this patience:

Dr. Laura [08:00]: "In 10 years. You've got to be the seriously, the most patient woman I have ever heard."

Alexis concedes that her patience hasn't yielded positive changes, highlighting the stagnation in her relationship despite prolonged efforts.

Deciding on Action

Timestamp: 08:15 – 10:36

Encouraged by Dr. Laura's tough love approach, Alexis contemplates making significant changes. She outlines her plan:

Alexis [08:54]: "I think I will have the conversation with him because we've had the conversation before."

Dr. Laura probes the potential outcomes of this conversation, emphasizing that Alexis has already expressed her dissatisfaction without any meaningful response from her partner.

Dr. Laura [09:20]: "Oh, honey. You said I'm going to have a conversation with him. About what?"

Alexis clarifies her intention to end the relationship:

Alexis [09:45]: "So I don't have to give him a courtesy, you know, I'm done. I'm leaving. The relationship is over."

Dr. Laura supports Alexis's decision, reinforcing that her partner refuses to prioritize her over his children:

Dr. Laura [10:06]: "So nothing changed because you and I are having this conversation."

Conclusion and Takeaways

Alexis acknowledges the clarity provided by Dr. Laura's advice and commits to moving forward with ending the relationship for her own well-being.

Key Takeaways:

• Self-Respect and Boundaries: It's crucial to recognize when a relationship no longer serves your emotional well-being, especially when fundamental issues like acceptance by a partner's family persist.
• Realistic Expectations: Understanding that second or subsequent relationships come with their own set of challenges, and patience does not always lead to desired changes.
• Empowerment to Act: Alexis's decision to end the relationship underscores the importance of taking decisive action when faced with ongoing relational obstacles.

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura [02:07]: "Why should they have to? You're their dad's girlfriend, right?"
• Dr. Laura [04:21]: "But he's not that kind of man. And you've wasted 10 years of your life with a man who's not that kind of man."
• Dr. Laura [08:00]: "In 10 years. You've got to be the seriously, the most patient woman I have ever heard."
• Dr. Laura [10:36]: "So nothing changed because you and I are having this conversation."

Final Thoughts

This episode highlights the delicate balance between maintaining relationships and honoring one's own needs and boundaries. Dr. Laura's guidance empowers listeners like Alexis to make tough decisions in pursuit of healthier, more fulfilling lives.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, sponsor messages, and non-content segments to focus solely on the meaningful interaction between Dr. Laura and Alexis.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Alexis, welcome to the program.

[Alexis]

Hi, how are you? Hi. Good.

[Dr. Laura]

What's happening?

[Alexis]

I am in a 10 year relationship. We were engaged. I gave him the ring back. We're having difficulty not with my adult children, but with his adult children accepting me. And I just.

[Dr. Laura]

What do his children do that's problematic? What do they actually do?

[Alexis]

They intentionally leave me off invitations, group texts.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, I must have missed something. What do his children do? Help me understand what they do to show to be a problem.

[Alexis]

Well, they're not inviting or welcoming. When I used to go to like our Christmases, like I said, they don't include me on invitations that come in the mail for a wedding or graduation.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, my question to you is why should they have to? You're their dad's girlfriend, right? Right.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

See, this is the reason when people get married with kids who are problematic that about three quarters of the time people divorce because it's so unpleasant.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, is there any reason you can't just date him, have a nice time with him and let him be with his family otherwise, and you with yours. Not everything is going to work out exactly the way. Second and third marriages have. Higher and higher divorce failure rates. There's so much baggage in background. Very difficult when it happens. It's some kind of miracle. So if you like him, sounds like he's a little bit weak. That's correct, isn't it? Yeah.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

So it's never going to get better and they will always come before you.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

But if you enjoy his company, you guys can date. Do you think that might be enough at this time in your life after spending 10 years dating him? 10 years. I mean, I guess you expected something to get better and it didn't. But 10 years is a big learning curve, woman.

[Alexis]

It is. Absolutely. Absolutely. But there is an age difference too.

[Dr. Laura]

Is he 20 years younger than you or 20 years older?

[Alexis]

17 years older.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, that doesn't change anything.

[Alexis]

I said no.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know why you think that changed something. He's not sacrificing his kids for you.

[Alexis]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm pretty sure you would never sacrifice your kids for him.

[Alexis]

No, but I do. Stan. My children get along with him, but I would not allow my children to be disrespectful in his presence.

[Dr. Laura]

That's fine, but he's not that kind of man. And you've wasted 10 years of your life with a man who's not that kind of man.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

I mean, what the hell, Alexis? You said it perfectly. I would never allow my kids to be disrespectful. So why are you with a guy who would.

[Alexis]

I agree.

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[Alexis]

Holy schnauzers.

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[Dr. Laura]

I mean, you're not getting these years back, you know?

[Alexis]

No, absolutely not.

[Dr. Laura]

And it's not going to change. So between now and dead, what is it you want that you have any chance of having?

[Alexis]

You're right. I think I was hoping it would change.

[Dr. Laura]

In 10 years. You've got to be the seriously, the most patient woman I have ever heard.

[Alexis]

Yeah, that's a true statement.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, patience didn't get you anything?

[Alexis]

No. It never happened?

[Dr. Laura]

No.

[Alexis]

Well, I appreciate your time and your perspective.

[Dr. Laura]

And what do you think you're going to do for yourself now?

[Alexis]

I'm going to definitely make some changes.

[Dr. Laura]

And what changes might you make?

[Alexis]

I think I will have the conversation with him because we've had the conversation before.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, have what conversation?

[Alexis]

That I, you know, that I'm not going to be a girlfriend anymore.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, you mean you're going to break up with him? Or you're going to try to manipulate him into doing something about his kids? Because I think you're just going to try to manipulate him.

[Alexis]

No, I'm not.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, honey. You said I'm going to have a conversation with him. About what? You already know the situation and so does he. You've already complained about the situation and nothing has come of it. So what possible topic is left for discussion.

[Alexis]

So I don't have to give him a courtesy, you know, I'm done. I'm leaving. The relationship is over.

[Dr. Laura]

Have you ever said that before?

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Ultimatum time. And what did he do when you gave him that ultimatum? Tell him the truth.

[Alexis]

He came, you know, within a couple hours and told me he didn't want to live without me and ask me to marry him.

[Dr. Laura]

And did anything ultimately change?

[Alexis]

I actually removed myself from any situation to where I would be around them.

[Dr. Laura]

So nothing changed because you and I are having this conversation.

[Alexis]

Yeah. Yes, I agree.

[Dr. Laura]

So I'm. There is no ultimatum to be given here. He's not sacrificing his kids for you. Get that into your head.

[Alexis]

Thank you, Dr. Lohr.

[Dr. Laura]

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