My Dad Doesn't Show Me Respect

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Dad Doesn't Show Me Respect"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Episode Title: My Dad Doesn't Show Me Respect
Release Date: January 13, 2025

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Introduction to the Caller’s Dilemma

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt issue brought forth by Jessica, a listener grappling with familial responsibilities and a lack of respect from her aging father. Jessica reached out seeking guidance on balancing her desire to help her father with the need for personal acknowledgment and compensation.

Listener's Situation

Jessica begins by explaining her role in assisting her father, who owns a ranch with cattle but lacks the means to hire additional help. Since June, Jessica has taken on the responsibility of managing the ranch operations due to her father's declining physical health, particularly his back pain.

Jessica [01:12]: "No, I may have taken on that. He was always doing it himself. He was doing it himself up until he just needed some help and he was having some back pains."

Despite her efforts, Jessica is facing financial strain as her father is retired with a fixed income, relying on sporadic sales and his retirement funds to sustain ranch operations. She admits that while she initially viewed her assistance as a good deed, the lack of financial compensation is becoming untenable.

Jessica [02:10]: "I feel like I'm doing a good deed, but at this point now I feel like I either need to be compensated or stop helping."

Dr. Laura’s Guidance

Dr. Laura acknowledges Jessica's predicament and emphasizes the importance of self-respect and setting boundaries, even within familial relationships. She encourages Jessica to communicate her needs clearly and assertively to her father.

Dr. Laura [03:00]: "You have to respect yourself in spite of the fact he's not respecting you. So you need to tell him if you want me to stay here and continue helping. I've been happy to do it for you up to now, but I need an income."

Dr. Laura advises Jessica to address the issue directly, stating her requirements for continued assistance and outlining the consequences if her father cannot meet these terms. She underscores that her father may be taking advantage of her goodwill and that it’s crucial for Jessica to prioritize her own well-being and financial stability.

Dr. Laura [02:31]: "Just because he's older and his back hurts doesn't mean he can take advantage of you, which you're letting him do."

Jessica’s Resolution

Inspired by Dr. Laura’s advice, Jessica decides to approach her father with honesty and firmness. She resolves to discuss the necessity of compensation for her ongoing support, recognizing that this conversation, while difficult, is essential for maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship.

Jessica [03:38]: "Yeah. All right. All right. I'm going to be brave and just do it right. You're right."

Conclusion

The episode highlights the delicate balance between family obligations and personal boundaries. Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides Jessica with pragmatic advice on asserting her needs without jeopardizing her relationship with her father. The discussion serves as a valuable guide for listeners facing similar challenges in navigating respect and responsibility within their own families.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jessica [02:10]: "I feel like I'm doing a good deed, but at this point now I feel like I either need to be compensated or stop helping."

• Dr. Laura [03:00]: "You have to respect yourself in spite of the fact he's not respecting you."

• Dr. Laura [02:31]: "Just because he's older and his back hurts doesn't mean he can take advantage of you, which you're letting him do."

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This episode provides insightful strategies for setting healthy boundaries and ensuring that familial support does not lead to personal detriment. Dr. Laura's compassionate yet firm approach offers listeners practical tools to foster respect and accountability in their relationships.

Transcript

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[B]

Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Jessica, welcome to the program.

[C]

Hi, Dr. Laura. How are you?

[B]

Good, thank you.

[C]

Thank you for taking my call. I have a question for you. I just started helping my dad. He's getting older. He has property, a ranch where he has cattle and all that kind of good stuff. And I started helping him at the beginning of the summer in June.

[B]

Doesn't he have hired cowboys?

[C]

No, I may have taken on that. He was always doing it himself. He was doing it himself up until he just needed some help and he was having some back pains.

[B]

Has no income.

[C]

You know, he's retired, so he does have a fixed income. So he could pay someone.

[B]

Well, how does he pay for all the food and etc.

[C]

For the animals with his retirement and selling off cows here and there, or, you know, different things like that.

[B]

Is he paying you?

[C]

No.

[B]

Has he willed. Has he willed the ranch to you?

[C]

No.

[B]

Do you think you're getting points in heaven?

[C]

I feel like I'm doing a good deed, but at this point now I'm. I feel like I either need to be compensated or stop helping. And I feel.

[B]

And that's. Shush, shush. Just because he's older and his back hurts doesn't mean he can take advantage of you, which you're letting him do.

[C]

I know it.

[B]

That's not a nice man. A nice man would have said, gosh darn, you're so this is what I can pay you. Is this okay? That's what a nice man would have done. So you approached him and how did that go?

[C]

He said, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds like a good, good idea. We can do that. And then nothing has happened yet. And now it just feels awkward to bring it up again.

[B]

Well, you have to respect yourself in spite of the fact he's not respecting you. So you need to tell him if you want me to stay here and continue helping. I've been happy to do it for you up to now, but I need an income. So it's really important that starting next week, I get paid blank. And if I'm not. I love you, dad, but I'm going to have to move on.

[C]

Okay. I just need to be blunt and not get awkward, you know?

[B]

Honey, he's taking advantage of you. Don't tiptoe around the tulips thinking. You have to be so careful. He knows exactly what he's doing.

[C]

Yeah. All right. All right. I'm going to be brave and just do it right. You're right.

[B]

Treat yourself with respect. That's how other people get the hint that they better do the same.

[C]

Okay. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[B]

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[A]

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