My Dad is Ready to Be a Father

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Dad is Ready to Be a Father"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Episode: My Dad is Ready to Be a Father
• Release Date: March 18, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In this emotionally charged episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, listener Lauren reaches out to seek advice about her strained relationship with her estranged father. The episode delves deep into themes of forgiveness, personal boundaries, and the complexities of familial relationships.

Caller Lauren's Dilemma

Timestamp [01:15]: Lauren initiates the conversation by sharing her longstanding absence of a relationship with her father. She reveals that when she was five years old, her father left her mother and four siblings, failing to provide child support or maintain any substantial contact.

Lauren: "I have not had a relationship with my dad and since I was a young girl, five, he left my mom and us four kids when we were very young. Never paid any child support, never really did anything."

Lauren explains that over the years, she has occasionally encountered her father through his siblings—her aunts and uncles—but these interactions have been minimal and largely non-committal.

Timestamp [02:30]: Lauren shares a recent development where her father's new wife has reached out multiple times, hoping to mend the familial bonds.

Lauren: "He sent me another letter. He knows my address, he knows where I live, and I'm 56 and he's probably 77 or 78."

Dr. Laura's Initial Reaction

Timestamp [03:22]: Dr. Laura responds with a mix of empathy and skepticism, questioning the sincerity of her father's attempts to reconnect.

Dr. Laura: "That shows you how insensitive and manipulative he is."

She vehemently criticizes her father's actions, highlighting the emotional manipulation she perceives in his attempts to re-establish contact.

Navigating Emotional Complexity

Timestamp [07:14]: Lauren admits that despite her decision not to meet or call her father, she harbors a desire to express her feelings to him.

Lauren: "But part of me really wants to tell him how I feel."

Timestamp [07:30]: Seeking guidance, Lauren asks Dr. Laura how best to convey her emotions without direct confrontation.

Lauren: "How would you suggest I do that? In a letter or because I don't want to meet with him?"

Dr. Laura's Advice on Setting Boundaries

Timestamp [07:37]: Dr. Laura advises that if Lauren chooses not to meet her father, writing a letter is the only remaining avenue to express her feelings.

Dr. Laura: "Then you'll have to do it in a letter if you don't want to meet with him. You write your truth in the letter and send it off."

However, Dr. Laura maintains a firm stance against re-engaging with the father, emphasizing the importance of self-respect and emotional well-being.

Validation and Empowerment

Timestamp [08:34]: Lauren expresses relief and gratitude for Dr. Laura's straightforward validation of her feelings.

Lauren: "Okay, that's great. Perfect. I just needed the validation because that's exactly how I feel."

Timestamp [08:40]: Dr. Laura reinforces Lauren's feelings, affirming her right to set boundaries and prioritize her emotional health.

Dr. Laura: "You are validated."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Dr. Laura provides Lauren with a clear framework for handling her difficult emotions and the complicated dynamics with her father. The conversation underscores the importance of self-validation, setting healthy boundaries, and recognizing manipulative behaviors in familial relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura [03:22]: "That shows you how insensitive and manipulative he is."
• Lauren [07:14]: "But part of me really wants to tell him how I feel."
• Dr. Laura [08:40]: "You are validated."

Takeaways

• Self-Respect: It's crucial to honor your feelings and set boundaries, especially in relationships where past actions have caused pain.
• Validation: Seeking validation is a natural response to emotional turmoil, and having someone affirm your feelings can be empowering.
• Communication: Expressing your truth, whether through conversation or written words, can be a vital step in personal healing.

This episode offers listeners a candid exploration of dealing with estranged family members, highlighting the balance between compassion and self-preservation.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Caller Lauren]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi.

[Caller Lauren]

So my dilemma is I have not had a relationship with my dad and since I was a young girl, five, he left my mom and us four kids when we were very young. Never paid any child support, never really did anything. Was just a shit bum, if you will. And over the years I, I have seen him here or there in situations because I have stayed in touch with his family. I did stay in touch with my grandparents. They are now both deceased. And I still do see his siblings, which are my aunts and uncles. They don't have anything to do with him either other than one of my aunts does, but they don't see each other often. So what he's done is recently he, he's been buried multiple times and he's had his new wife send me a letter stating she would like me to give him another chance. Family is so important. If I could just find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

That's very funny.

[Caller Lauren]

Thank you for laughing.

[Dr. Laura]

She's wife number one.

[Caller Lauren]

I don't even know at this point.

[Dr. Laura]

That's hilarious.

[Caller Lauren]

So, you know, if I could just overlook and just, you know, find it in my heart to meet with my dad and talk to him and, and I just ignored the letter the last time. Well, I got another letter, this time from my father, but it was a computer. You know, he wrote it on the computer and printed it and signed it and sent it to me. Now he knows my address, he knows where I live, and I'm 56 and he's probably 77 or 78. I don't even know at this point. But my point is he wants. He's in the, in this letter that he just sent to me. It was. I know it must hurt you as messages. It hurts me not to have a relationship.

[Dr. Laura]

And I was like, okay, no it doesn't. That shows you how insensitive and manip. That shows you how insensitive and manipulative he is. Listen, I know you're busy. You've got a lot on your plate. We all do. That's why Walmart subscriptions are such a game changer. They make it easy for you to get your groceries and essentials without the hassle of running around. Walmart subscriptions can help you stay stocked on the things you use most like paper towels, avocados, pet food, baby supplies, vitamins, candles, your favorite snacks. You know the essentials you can't live without. Plus, Walmart Fresh groceries are backed by a 100% freshness guarantee. Walmart subscriptions are easy to use. Just choose the date and time for your Go to items to be delivered on repeat right to your door. Of course, life is full of unexpected surprises. So if a last minute meeting or trip to the doctor comes up, simply edit your delivery schedule. Change the frequency of your subscriptions, skip or cancel anytime. Walmart's subscriptions are all about helping make your busy life a bit easier. Stay stocked with Walmart subscriptions. Welcome to your Walmart. Curling up on the couch for a movie is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Lily's always right there with me and we have a new addition to our movie nights the fluffiest pretty rosewater pink Lola Blanket. Lola Blankets are unbelievably soft double sided faux fur blankets with a huggable stretch that molds to your body. Lola Blankets come in a beautiful array of colors and three different sizes so you can find just the right fit for your family. They even offer weighted blankets for better sleep and relaxation and super cute knotted faux fur pillows. With thousands of five star reviews, Lola blankets are the must have upgrade your home and comfort deserve. So go to lolablankets.com use my code drlaura at checkout. 40% off. An incredible discount just for you my listener. What are you waiting for? Go to lola blankets.com today and experience the life changing softness for yourself.

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[Caller Lauren]

So don't plan on meeting with him and I don't plan on calling him and I don't plan on doing any of that. But part of me really wants to tell him how I feel.

[Dr. Laura]

Go ahead. Go ahead.

[Caller Lauren]

How would you suggest I do that? In a letter or because I don't want to meet with him?

[Dr. Laura]

Then you'll have to do it in a letter if you don't want to meet with him. You. That's the only option you have left. You write your truth in the letter and send it off and say, this is hilarious. Actually, you're closing in on mortality and suddenly you're talking about me and your other kids as a family. Are you kidding? You've only thought of yourself.

[Caller Lauren]

He's only reaching out to me.

[Dr. Laura]

He's only reached out to me. Okay, but he's only reaching out to me. Is it my turn now?

[Caller Lauren]

Yep. Sorry.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. You're still only thinking of yourself. There's nothing in it for me. We have no bond. I do not feel or sense or think about you as a father either. Sperm donor. You knocked up Mom. And here we are. Good luck. Don't contact me anymore. Good luck.

[Caller Lauren]

Okay, that's great. Perfect. I just needed the validation because that's exactly how I feel.

[Dr. Laura]

You are validated. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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