My Daughter is Taking My Grandkids Away

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Daughter is Taking My Grandkids Away"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: My Daughter is Taking My Grandkids Away
• Release Date: May 29, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "My Daughter is Taking My Grandkids Away," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt concern from a listener named Karen. The discussion centers around familial relationships, coping with unexpected changes, and maintaining healthy connections despite physical distance.

Caller’s Situation

Karen, a 66-year-old divorced mother of three adult children and grandmother to ten grandchildren, reaches out to seek advice. She shares her distress over her youngest daughter’s decision to relocate out of state, taking along her three young children. Karen had been closely involved in her granddaughter and grandson’s lives, often hosting them for various activities and events.

Karen recounts:

“I have 10 grandchildren and they all live close by to me spend, you know, reasonable amounts of time together just through birthday parties or holidays or dance recitals, baseball games, those kinds of events.”
[00:14]

Her daughter, who moved in with Karen during the COVID pandemic, unexpectedly decided to move to a town two and a half to three hours away, leaving Karen feeling shocked and concerned about the future dynamics with her grandchildren.

Dr. Laura’s Advice

Dr. Laura empathizes with Karen’s feelings but provides a strategic approach to handling the situation to preserve and even strengthen the mother-daughter relationship.

1. Maintain Positivity: Dr. Laura advises Karen to express her sadness without conveying blame or disapproval. She suggests using affirming statements that acknowledge the change while reinforcing love and commitment.

   Notable Quote:

   “You can make trips and see each other on holidays, I assume, and I love you. That's how you maintain a relationship.”
   [02:34]

2. Avoid Negative Expressions: Karen admits to having expressed negative sentiments about her daughter’s decision. Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of letting go of past grievances to avoid damaging the relationship further.

   Dr. Laura states:

   “I don't care what you said in the past. I don't care. I don't care what you said in the... Okay, I'm going to let you go because yelling over me just doesn't work.”
   [04:21]

3. Understand Individual Needs: Recognizing that not everyone desires the same level of togetherness, Dr. Laura highlights the importance of respecting her daughter’s need for privacy and space.

   Key Insight:

   “Not everybody wants that amount of togetherness and your oversight. So be gracious or be on the outs.”
   [04:00]

4. Focus Beyond Self: Dr. Laura points out that Karen’s primary concern revolves around her own feelings and lifestyle. She encourages Karen to shift her focus to the well-being of her daughter and grandchildren.

   Perspective Shift:

   “98% of this is about you. And I understand that because it's what you're most familiar with and you count on because you're divorced.”
   [04:10]

Key Takeaways

• Positive Communication: Expressing love and support without expressing disappointment can help maintain and even strengthen familial bonds despite physical separation.

• Letting Go of Control: Acknowledging that adult children have their own lives and decisions is crucial for healthy relationships.

• Empathy and Understanding: Recognizing and respecting the needs and desires of family members fosters mutual respect and enduring connections.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers compassionate and practical advice for Karen, emphasizing the importance of positivity, letting go of past frustrations, and focusing on the greater good of family relationships. By adopting this approach, Karen can navigate the emotional challenges of her daughter’s relocation while preserving a loving and supportive relationship with her family.

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Note: The episode concludes with promotional content for Dr. Laura’s services and special listener discounts available at DrLaura.com.

Transcript

[A]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Karen, welcome to the program.

[B]

Hi, Dr. Laura, thanks for taking my call. Long time listener, first time caller. I am 66. I have three grown children. I live in the home that I raised my three kids in. I am divorced for many, many years and my three children are grown, they're married. I have 10 grandchildren and they all live close by to me spend, you know, reasonable amounts of time together just through birthday parties or holidays or dance recitals, baseball games, those kinds of events. My youngest daughter, who's 35 and has three children, 1, 3 and 5, her husband is from another state and they've been living here for four or five years since COVID And to my surprise, she told me a couple weeks ago that they are moving out of state. And I was pretty shocked about the move. She had told me that they were, you know, looking here. I know that I stayed with her kids many, many times while she was looking at homes in the area. So it came to me as a shock they picked a random town to live in. And I feel very bad for the children, my grandchildren, that they're taking them away from their grandparents, from their family, from our family. She's moving about two and a half, three hours away and she knows that I'm quite upset about it, but she wants my support. And I said to her, it's hard for me to support you when I think you're making a bad decision. And I just want to know if I feel that way, how can I support her or can I support her in this decision? I'm all nice.

[A]

Karen, what do you need to say to your daughter is I'm sad that you're going to going to miss you, but it's only less than three hours. We can make trips and see each other on holidays, I assume, and I love you. That's how you maintain a relationship. You're continuing to show dismay for whatever the reasons are, could hurt your future relationship with those grandchildren and your daughter. So she already knows you're not happy and just say, I'm not happy, but I love you and we'll all see each other when we can. Positive, pleasant. You're living in the same house forever. Not everybody does that. And some people want, especially the younger one wants her privacy more. She wants a little bit of distance. Understand that. I understand your feelings completely, ma' am, but I'm trying to help you not screw up your relationship with your daughter.

[B]

Exactly. And that's what my concern is. So we do talk every day.

[A]

No, no, no. I don't need to hear that anymore. Done, done, done. Tell your daughter I'm sad that it'll be harder to see you guys because of the distance. And I love you. If you could just say that, you will save the relationship.

[B]

Okay, so I said a lot of things.

[A]

I don't care what you said in the past. I don't care. I. I don't care what you said in the. Okay, I'm going to let you go because yelling over me just doesn't work. I don't care what terrible things you said, especially telling her that she's doing a bad thing and they're making a decision for their family. You don't control everybody. I know you have up to this point. You live in the same place. You're divorced from their dad, and they are your universe. They are your community. 1. Not everybody wants that amount of togetherness and your oversight. So be gracious or be on the outs. That's it. Yelling over me doesn't change any of it. Think about everything I've said. This has been your universe. And you slipped earlier on said grandparents about family. 98% of this is about you. And I understand that because it's what you're most familiar with and you count on because you're divorced. So be gracious about her. So you keep her in your Life. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.