My Daughter Likes Her In-Laws More

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "My Daughter Likes Her In-Laws More"

Introduction

In the March 11, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a poignant family dilemma presented by a concerned father, John. Titled "My Daughter Likes Her In-Laws More," the episode delves into the complexities of familial relationships and the dynamics that influence a daughter’s affinity towards her in-laws over her biological family.

Listener’s Situation

John, a 30-year-old father, reaches out to Dr. Laura with a heartfelt concern: his daughter seems to prefer her husband's side of the family over her own. He explains, “[00:50] I got a 30, 31-year-old daughter and she kind of tends to fade towards her husband's side of the family and my side of the family she doesn't really have much to do with.”

He further elaborates on her disinterest in his side of the family, noting, “[00:50] Even before she got married she never really came to like family reunions or that type of stuff.”

Dr. Laura’s Analysis and Advice

Dr. Laura approaches John’s predicament by probing deeper into the underlying reasons for his daughter's preferences. At [01:19], she asks, “What draws her to her husband's family? What is there about their attitudes, behaviors, whatever religion, whatever food choice that you see draws her to them?”

John mentions that her in-laws often engage in numerous trips annually: “[01:59] They go on a lot of trips a year. They go on probably, I don't know, six, seven trips a year. Probably.”

Dr. Laura challenges John’s perspective, suggesting a possible bias or misinterpretation: “[02:05] I don't think so. And I don't know her. So you want to flesh this out a little bit? Besides money, what draws her to these people?”

Noticing John's uncertainty about his daughter's disengagement from his side, Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of understanding the "push and pull" factors in relationships. She states, “[04:50] Usually in somebody's life, sir, there's a push and a pull,” highlighting that without recognizing these dynamics, resolving the issue becomes challenging.

Understanding Push and Pull Dynamics

Dr. Laura elaborates on the concept of push and pull, illustrating with an example: “[06:00] An example that I've given on the air before is this Jewish family... the dad, when his cortex was working better, was a tough dude... he got a new family... that was accepting and supportive.”

She explains that behavioral differences and emotional support systems significantly influence a person's familial preferences. “[07:30] Push, pull. He wasn't as strong as his sisters and wasn't getting his dad's support. And he switched religions because that put him in an accepting loving family in his mind.”

Dr. Laura advises John to introspect and understand both the factors that attract his daughter to her in-laws (pull) and those that distance her from his side (push). “Be willing to talk about the push, the pull. Because if you're not going to be serious and open and truthful about the push and the pull, you can't make any headway.”

Key Takeaways and Final Advice

Dr. Laura underscores the necessity for John to recognize and address the underlying reasons for his daughter's preferences rather than attributing them to superficial factors like money. She encourages open and honest communication to bridge the emotional gap: “[09:00] So next time you want to call, this person's not talking to me. Push, pull.”

She concludes by reiterating the importance of understanding the intricate dynamics at play: “[10:00] Push, pull. Be willing. ... If you're not going to be serious and open and truthful about the push and the pull, you can't make any headway.”

Conclusion

This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day offers invaluable insights into navigating complex family relationships. By introducing the "push and pull" framework, Dr. Laura provides listeners with a tool to dissect and understand the multifaceted reasons behind familial preferences and estrangements. John’s situation serves as a relatable case study, emphasizing the need for empathy, communication, and self-reflection in resolving familial tensions.

For further guidance and resources, Dr. Laura encourages listeners to reach out through her contact number or engage with her on social media platforms.

Notable Quotes:

• John: “[00:50] Even before she got married she never really came to like family reunions or that type of stuff.”
• Dr. Laura: “[04:50] Usually in somebody's life, sir, there's a push and a pull.”
• Dr. Laura: “[07:30] Push, pull. He wasn't as strong as his sisters and wasn't getting his dad's support.”
• Dr. Laura: “[10:00] Push, pull. Be willing. ... If you're not going to be serious and open and truthful about the push and the pull, you can't make any headway.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

For listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. John welcome to the program.

[C]

Hello, can you hear me Dr. Lauro?

[B]

Yes sir. What can I do for you?

[C]

You can hear say I got a 31, 30 year old daughter and she's kind of been. She kind of tends to fade towards her husband's side of the family and my side of the family she doesn't really have much to do with. Even before she got married she never really came to like family reunions or that type of stuff. And she doesn't.

[B]

And in what way? And in what way is she just try to be objective now? What draws her to her husband's family? What is there about their attitudes, behaviors, whatever religion, whatever food choice that you see draws her to them? Oh, so you think your daughter's just a little selfish money grabbing bitch? Really? I don't think so. And I don't know her. So you want to flesh this out a little bit? Besides money, what draws her to these people?

[C]

They go on a lot of trips a year. They go on probably, I don't know, six, seven trips a year. Probably.

[B]

Okay, but John, you said that she was not enthralled about your side of the family even before she was with him. So what do you think pushed her away from your side of the family?

[C]

I hate to tell you this but I'm not sure. I guess I just.

[B]

Okay, well then, then we can't make any headway in the situation. You're just going to have to live with it the way it is because if you have no understanding or insight, then we have no way of approaching it. So the first thing you do is tear her down and I wonder if that's typical of your family is to make her just a money grubbing person. So if that's your attitude sir, woo hoo. If that's your attitude then you have no chance of getting together with her. Sorry. Curling up on the couch for a movie is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Lily's always right there with me and we have a new addition to our movie nights the fluffiest pretty Rosewater Pink Lola Blanket. Lola Blankets are unbelievably soft double sided faux fur blankets with a huggable stretch that molds to your body. Lola Blankets come in a beautiful array of colors and three different sizes so you can find just the right fit for your family. 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Yeah, usually in somebody's life, sir, Usually in somebody's life, sir, there's a push and a pull and you seem to not know what the pull is or you make it just money. And the push is you have no idea. You don't know why she didn't feel comfortable about your side of the family. Well, then you're blind. How could you not notice things like that? All right, well, maybe you think about it and you can always call back my number one eight. But for the rest of you, there's always a push, pull, push, pull. Something pushes the person away and something draws the person in. An example that I've given on the air before is this Jewish family came in, the mom and the dad. The dad was getting into Alzheimer's, didn't say anything during the sessions. And then there were three adult children, a son and two daughters. And they were all in their 40s. And the reason they came in is they were distressed that the son had become Christian. How could this happen? Why would this happen? And what became clear to me is that this was a tough family. And evidently dad, when his cortex was working better, was a tough dude. And the two daughters were very strong women. And to just distill it down, he got a new family. God, Mary, Jesus got a whole new family that no matter what was accepting and supportive. Push, pull. He wasn't as strong as his sisters and wasn't getting his dad's support. And he switched religions because that put him in an accepting loving family in his mind. Push, pull. So next time you want to call, this person's not talking to me. Push, pull. Be willing. Excuse me? Be willing to talk about the push, the pull. Because if you're not going to be serious and open and truthful about the push and the pull, you can't make any headway. It just stays the way it is. So don't ask. Should I reach out and send a birthday card? Yeah. That's just silly. Okay. Push, pull. My number. 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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