My Daughter Refuses to Forgive

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Daughter Refuses to Forgive"

Episode: My Daughter Refuses to Forgive
Release Date: June 24, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt and complex family issue brought forth by a concerned caller. The discussion delves into generational conflicts, teenage pregnancy, and the struggles of familial forgiveness.

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Caller’s Background and Concerns

The caller reaches out to seek advice regarding her strained relationship with her daughter and the subsequent fallout with her own parents (the caller's parents). Here's a breakdown of her situation:

• Teenage Pregnancy: The caller’s eldest daughter became pregnant at the age of 14 with her 15-year-old boyfriend. The father of the child was not adequately supervising, leading to the daughter's pregnancy.

• Adoption Decision: The daughter chose to give the baby up for adoption, a decision the caller is incredibly proud of.

• Grandparents' Disappointment: Upon discovering the pregnancy, the grandparents expressed profound disappointment. The daughter, in turn, responded by emphasizing the grandparents' disapproving looks, effectively alienating them from her life.

• Current Family Dynamics: Sixteen years later, the daughter is married with two children but maintains little to no contact with the caller’s parents. The caller is now grappling with the tension between her daughter and her grandparents, especially concerning her 86-year-old father who wishes to visit his granddaughter.

Key Quote:

“My oldest daughter got pregnant at 14, had a baby, gave it up for adoption. Very proud of her.”
— Caller [00:46]

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Dr. Laura's Initial Response

Dr. Laura approaches the situation with a no-nonsense attitude, immediately addressing the gravity of teenage consensual relationships.

Key Quotes:

“There is no consensual sex at 14.”
— Dr. Laura [01:17]

“Your daughter was a stupid 14 year old girl.”
— Dr. Laura [02:12]

She emphasizes the natural disappointment that grandparents might feel upon learning about the daughter's early pregnancy, asserting that such emotions are warranted given the circumstances.

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Deepening the Conflict

As the caller elaborates, Dr. Laura's responses become increasingly critical of the daughter’s choices and her handling of familial relationships.

• Blaming the Daughter: Dr. Laura labels the daughter as "unbelievable brat," criticizing her for denying her grandparents access to their grandchildren and for offloading her guilt onto them.

• Loss of Relationship: The caller fears that pursuing reconciliation may jeopardize her relationship with her grandchildren, a concern Dr. Laura addresses by suggesting that ignoring the issue is the caller's choice, albeit harshly.

Key Quotes:

“Everybody, the entire world is disappointed that you did this.”
— Dr. Laura [02:39]

“Then okay, then don't parent. Just ignore it and let your dad die without contact. Okay, it's your choice.”
— Dr. Laura [05:59]

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Accountability and Personal Responsibility: Dr. Laura firmly holds the daughter accountable for her actions at a young age, emphasizing the importance of owning one's decisions and understanding their ripple effects on the family.

2. Generational Expectations: The episode highlights the clash between traditional family values held by the grandparents and the daughter's modern approach to handling past traumas and guilt.

3. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Dr. Laura underscores the difficulty of forgiveness when one party chooses to project their own guilt and shame onto others, complicating attempts at reconciliation.

4. Parental Guidance: The conversation touches upon effective parenting, or the lack thereof, in monitoring and guiding teenage behavior, which Dr. Laura implicitly criticizes in the caller's recounting of events.

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Conclusion and Final Remarks

In wrapping up the call, Dr. Laura reiterates her stance that the daughter should have been corrected earlier for her behavior and that the caller's decision to maintain distance from the grandparents stems from a lack of proper parenting. She dismisses the caller's concerns about losing relationships with her grandchildren by labeling the daughter's actions as personal choices.

Key Quotes:

“Your daughter should have been read out decades ago. How dare she? At 14? I can understand. I don't.”
— Dr. Laura [06:14]

“She's a brat and you should have straightened her out a long time ago.”
— Dr. Laura [06:14]

Dr. Laura concludes by encouraging listeners to connect with her through social media and share their stories, positioning herself as a steadfast figure in providing unwavering advice.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Caller’s Pride:

  “My oldest daughter got pregnant at 14, had a baby, gave it up for adoption. Very proud of her.”
  — Caller [00:46]

• Dr. Laura on Consent:

  “There is no consensual sex at 14.”
  — Dr. Laura [01:17]

• Dr. Laura on Disappointment:

  “Everybody, the entire world is disappointed that you did this.”
  — Dr. Laura [02:39]

• Dr. Laura’s Harsh Critique:

  “She's a brat and you should have straightened her out a long time ago.”
  — Dr. Laura [06:14]

• Final Advice:

  “Show your dad some photographs.”
  — Dr. Laura [06:14]

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day presents a stark view on familial disputes arising from past actions and the challenges of forgiveness across generations. Dr. Laura's forthright and unapologetic approach offers listeners a perspective that emphasizes personal responsibility and accountability, even at the cost of strained family relationships.

For those navigating similar familial tensions, this episode serves as a candid exploration of the complexities involved in seeking forgiveness and the potential repercussions of holding onto past grievances.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX XM Triumph 111. Jim, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hello. Thanks for taking my call. I've listened to you forever and it's my first time calling.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you. What can I do for you?

[Caller]

Let me give you some quick background. My. My oldest daughter got pregnant at 14, had a baby, gave it up for adoption. Very proud of her. When my parents found out that she was adopted, her only comment was the look on their face. They were so disappointed. And try to explain to everybody.

[Dr. Laura]

Back up, back up. I'm lost already.

[Caller]

Sorry.

[Dr. Laura]

Back up.

[Caller]

All right.

[Dr. Laura]

How did my daughter. She raped at. Was she raped at 14?

[Caller]

No. Her boyfriend.

[Dr. Laura]

There is no consensual sex at 14.

[Caller]

You're correct.

[Dr. Laura]

So who was he?

[Caller]

15 year old boyfriend. I was working a lot. My ex, now ex was at the house and did not watch, did not monitor, would leave them alone in the house and she ended up pregnant.

[Dr. Laura]

She gave birth and. And gave her child to a family.

[Caller]

Yes, she did. Very proud of her to make it.

[Dr. Laura]

Up to that point. Now keep it slow. Who said what had made a face? What are you talking about?

[Caller]

So when my parents, her grandparents found out she had been pregnant, she said the look on their face of disappointment was crushing. So she said nothing to do with. Stop.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop, please. We have to do things in a piecemeal way. Your daughter was a stupid 14 year old girl. And of course the grandparents are disappointed. Their grandchild is off into the ether and their 14 year old is acting out sexually. I don't see anything wrong in them being having a disappointed face. And that's not at all to your daughter.

[Caller]

I did, I told her.

[Dr. Laura]

Everybody, the entire world is disappointed that you did this.

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, next. Next part.

[Caller]

All right. So now 16 years later, she's married, she has two additional kids. One is three, one is about three weeks. She has basically nothing to do with my parents, which is okay. That's her decision.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop, Stop. Tell her she's a brat and if her kids did anything like that, she'd make the same face. And how dare she Excommunicate to grandparents for having a huge human reaction that was not.

[Caller]

Oh, it gets worse.

[Dr. Laura]

Ridiculous.

[Caller]

Yeah, wait till you hear the rest.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, this question is going to. No, I don't want to hear the rest. Just tell me what your question is. Just tell me the question.

[Caller]

My dad's 86. He was visiting from Michigan.

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[Caller]

My question is. My dad's 86 and I tried to get him to visit to see the granddaughter and it was denied. How do I deal with my daughter.

[Dr. Laura]

Knowing I just told you how to deal with her? That she's an unbelievable brat.

[Caller]

And risk losing any relationship I have with the grandkids as well?

[Dr. Laura]

Then okay, then don't parent. Just ignore it and let your dad die without contact. Okay, it's your choice.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's the way it's going right now, so just want to make sure we're on the same page.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, you and I are not on the same page. Your daughter should have been read out decades ago. How dare she? At 14? I can understand. I don't. You can't be mad at me. I can do whatever I want. I can have sex. I can make babies. At least she didn't kill it, have it sucked into a sink. She gave it to a family. At least she didn't try to raise it by herself as a 14 year old because that would have meant everybody else. I did a good thing at the end. But whatever guilt and shame she should have, she put on her grandparents, made them the evil empire so she didn't have to feel shame. She's a brat and you should have straightened her out a long time ago. So show your dad some photographs. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent. Me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com doctorwhere Laura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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