My Ex is Dating a "Hit Woman"

Summary

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: My Ex is Dating a "Hit Woman"
Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a caller named Linda, who seeks Dr. Laura’s guidance on how to navigate uncomfortable interactions with her ex-husband's new girlfriend. The girlfriend has been consistently rude at both family and mutual social gatherings. True to her reputation, Dr. Laura delivers direct, no-nonsense advice, focusing on personal boundaries, emotional resilience, and practical strategies for reducing conflict.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Caller’s Dilemma: Rude Girlfriend at Gatherings

• Context:
  Linda and her ex-husband both live in the same small town and share a close circle of mutual friends, so they continue to cross paths socially and at family events. She reports the new girlfriend is “very rude” and wants advice handling the situation.
  [01:19]

2. Dr. Laura’s Initial Reaction: Minimize Contact

• Advice:
  • Dr. Laura empathizes and notes:

    “No one is comfortable if you and she don't resonate politely. So… you might want to just see the friends at times other than you would expect if you were still married to him. I suggest you eliminate those.”
    (Dr. Laura, 02:02)

  • She stresses the importance of distancing oneself at group events and not expecting the girlfriend’s behavior to change.

3. On Family Functions (e.g., Son’s Wedding)

• Guidance:
  • At unavoidable gatherings (like a son’s wedding), maintain physical and emotional distance:

    “Don’t be around her. And what, Ma'am? There's only one way to handle this. Keep your distance. Yeah, physically.”
    (Dr. Laura, 02:49)

• Underlying Message:
  • “You're not going to change this. There’s a reason you divorced him. This is a continuation. He’s finding out another way to hurt you. So it’s not going to change. She is his hit woman.”
    (Dr. Laura, 02:31)

4. The Reality of Divorce with Shared Social Circles

• Dr. Laura’s Perspective:
  • Divorce doesn’t always mean the ex-spouse is out of your life, especially with overlapping friends and family.

    “You thought when you divorced him you were rid of him… Not so much.”
    (Dr. Laura, 05:23, 05:28)

5. Handling the Social Group

• Specific Suggestions:
  • Be honest with friends about why you’ll opt-out of group events that include your ex and his girlfriend:

    “You just tell your friends it's too unpleasant. I have more fun with you guys when we do something else. So make times to see these people if you still wish to see them.”
    (Dr. Laura, 05:40)

  • Dr. Laura reminds Linda that post-divorce, friendships and social patterns often shift:

    “You're single. They're married couples. Perhaps. That's awkward. Anyway, so your friend's situation is probably going to change more than his.”
    (Dr. Laura, 06:00)

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Memorable Quotes

• On the new girlfriend:

  “She is his hit woman.”
  (Dr. Laura, 02:31)

• Reflecting post-divorce realities:

  “You thought when you divorced him you were rid of him… Not so much.”
  (Dr. Laura, 05:23, 05:28)

• Letting go:

  “She's stuck with what you got rid of.”
  (Dr. Laura, 06:22)

• On shifting social groups:

  “Your friend's situation is probably going to change more than his.”
  (Dr. Laura, 06:00)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [01:11] – Linda introduces her question
• [02:02] – Dr. Laura recommends minimizing social overlap
• [02:43] – Discussing the son's upcoming wedding and inescapable interactions
• [05:23] – The lasting consequences of divorce with shared communities
• [05:40] – Advice on communicating with mutual friends
• [06:22] – Concluding wisdom about moving on

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Tone and Approach

Dr. Laura maintains her signature blend of dry wit, directness, and pragmatic guidance. She does not sugarcoat the realities of post-divorce life, especially regarding former spouses’ lingering presence. Her advice is actionable and rooted in accepting what cannot be changed, drawing clear emotional and physical boundaries, and focusing on personal well-being rather than attempting to control others’ behavior.

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Summary Takeaway

If embroiled in post-divorce social conflict—especially with a combative new partner in the mix—Dr. Laura’s advice is clear: set boundaries, minimize unnecessary contact, communicate honestly with friends about your limitations, and focus energy on what you can control. In her words:

“Enjoy the wedding… she’s stuck with what you got rid of.”
(Dr. Laura, 06:22)

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Host]

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[Dr. Laura]

Linda welcome to the program.

[Linda]

Hi Dr. Laura hi.

[Dr. Laura]

How can I help?

[Linda]

I would love advice on how to handle my fresh ex husband's girlfriend who is very rude to me in social and family gatherings.

[Dr. Laura]

I can understand her being in family gatherings, but what social times do you mix?

[Linda]

Well, my husband and I are still in the same ex husband and I are still in the same town and we have a lot of friends in common. And early on I had said to the friend group, please don't just invite one of us. We are adults. We can figure out who goes to what. So everyone is comfortable and so we have a lot of overlap. But she.

[Dr. Laura]

No one is comfortable if you and she don't resonate politely. So it sounds like on those social situations you might want to just see the friends at times other than you would expect if you were still married to him. So I suggest you eliminate those. As far as family functions go, keep away from her. Keep on the other side of the room. Talk to other people. You're not going to change this. There's a reason you divorced him. This is a continuation. He's finding out another way to hurt you. So it's not going to change. She is his hit woman.

[Linda]

Yes. So we have our son's wedding coming up.

[Dr. Laura]

Fine. Don't be around her. And what, Ma', am? There's only one way to handle this. Keep your distance. Yeah, physically.

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[Linda]

Okay, I can handle.

[Dr. Laura]

You thought when you divorced him you were rid of him.

[Linda]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

Not so much.

[Linda]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

And maybe. Maybe he'll get tired of her and he'll get rid of her. It'll be helpful to you. Right now you're just going to have to minimize.

[Linda]

You can have him.

[Dr. Laura]

Don't I? Okay. I'm trying to help you. I don't care about her. You've got to not do the social things where you're together. That's ridiculous that you do that. You just tell your friends it's too unpleasant. I have more fun with you guys when we do something else. So make times to see these people if you still wish to see them. You're single. They're married couples. Perhaps. That's awkward. Anyway, so your friend's situation is probably going to change more than his.

[Linda]

Right? Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Sorry about that. And enjoy the wedding. Enjoy the wedding. She's stuck with what you got rid of.

[Linda]

Yes, true.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. All right. My number, 1-800-375-2872.

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