My Girlfriend is Sending Sweet Nothings to Another

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Girlfriend is Sending Sweet Nothings to Another"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Episode: My Girlfriend is Sending Sweet Nothings to Another
• Release Date: July 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger tackles a complex relationship dilemma presented by a caller named Curtis. Listeners are drawn into a nuanced discussion about trust, past relationships, and personal boundaries as Curtis seeks guidance on his current romantic entanglement.

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Curtis's Relationship Concerns

Curtis initiates the conversation by outlining his relationship history and current predicament:

Curtis (00:44): "Well, my reason, the call deals with relationship I'm in now. Both of us are approaching retirement age. Been through a divorce. She's been through her second one."

Curtis reveals that both he and his girlfriend are nearing retirement and both have experienced significant past marital challenges—he has gone through one divorce, while she has been divorced twice. He expresses apprehension about his girlfriend's past, questioning whether her history of failed marriages might impact their current relationship.

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Dr. Laura's Probing Questions and Analysis

Dr. Laura delves deeper into the specifics of Curtis's situation, aiming to uncover underlying issues:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (01:05): "Two divorces."

She challenges Curtis to assess his understanding of his girlfriend's past relationships, questioning the objectivity of his knowledge:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (01:45): "Do you think that's enough objectivity to give you the full story?"

Curtis admits that his perspective is limited, as much of his understanding comes directly from his girlfriend, potentially biasing his view.

Further complicating the picture, Curtis discloses that his girlfriend's first ex-husband passed away after their divorce, which Dr. Laura points out isn't a direct reason for their separation:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (02:13): "Well, that's not a divorce."

He also shares details about her second divorce, which was influenced by personal tragedy and emotional support from a coworker, indicating lingering emotional ties:

Curtis (02:48): "And at the same time that was happening, there was a friend, a coworker of hers that helped her through that time."

Dr. Laura presses Curtis to consider whether his girlfriend might have played a role in her divorces, suggesting that there may be more to the story than she has disclosed.

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Current Relationship Dynamics

Curtis brings forth the crux of his concern: his girlfriend's ongoing communication with a third party, which raises doubts about her commitment to their relationship:

Curtis (03:17): "This third person in this scenario supported her for through the rest of her divorce and then after for a year. And she thought that perhaps she would be, you know, maybe spending time with him."

He confesses to invading her privacy by checking her phone, uncovering texts that imply her continued emotional investment in this third individual:

Curtis (04:28): "I noticed a pop up on her phone. ... I felt okay."

Curtis (04:39): "I just saw those few texts..."

Dr. Laura seeks clarification on whether Curtis is certain about the extent of her interactions:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (05:07): "Well, well, I think there is stuff that's either she's deleting that happens..."

Curtis acknowledges the possibility of her hiding communications, adding layers of mistrust to the relationship.

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Dr. Laura’s Advice and Recommendations

Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of recognizing and acting upon the realities of the situation. She encourages Curtis to re-evaluate the relationship's viability:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (08:53): "Based on your current experience with her hiding things and dangling things, do you still think that the demise of two marriages were exactly as she described them? Or maybe she was responsible for something in there?"

Upon concluding that Curtis's girlfriend may not be fully committed, Dr. Laura advises him to step back:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (08:57): "Okay, well, back off. You don't have to dump her, but back off. Don't be sleeping over there. Don't be having sex until you feel comfortable."

She further underscores the urgency, questioning Curtis's reasons for maintaining the relationship despite evident red flags:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (09:23): "Curtis, you already know that she's playing a little footsie behind the scene. You already know that... Don't waste time."

Dr. Laura challenges Curtis to prioritize his well-being and personal boundaries, especially considering his proximity to retirement and the finite nature of time:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (09:42): "You're closer to death than not. Don't waste time."

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Conclusion

Curtis acknowledges the wisdom in Dr. Laura's counsel, showing signs of acceptance regarding the need to distance himself from a potentially untrustworthy relationship:

Curtis (09:42): "Good point."

Dr. Laura's decisive guidance offers closure and a pathway forward for Curtis, emphasizing self-respect and the importance of not settling for deficient emotional investment.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Curtis (00:44): "Been through a divorce. She's been through her second one."
• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (05:52): "Curtis, you already know that she's playing a little footsie behind the scene."
• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (09:23): "Don't waste time."
• Curtis (09:42): "Good point."

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Key Takeaways

• Trust and Transparency: Trust is foundational in relationships. Curtis's concerns about his girlfriend's past and current communications highlight the need for transparency between partners.

• Self-Worth and Boundaries: Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's self-worth and establishing healthy boundaries to ensure emotional well-being.

• Evaluating Relationship Viability: It's crucial to assess whether a relationship aligns with one's values and needs, especially when red flags are present.

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This episode serves as a poignant exploration of the complexities in navigating trust and past relationship baggage within new romantic engagements. Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides incisive advice, urging listeners to prioritize their emotional health and make empowered decisions in their relationships.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Curtis, welcome to the program.

[Curtis]

Well, thank you. Well, my reason, the call deals with relationship I'm in now. Both of us are approaching retirement age. Been through a divorce. She's been through her second one.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Two divorces.

[Curtis]

She's had two divorces? Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And that doesn't worry you, Curtis?

[Curtis]

Well, I guess I do. There's a little history there that we, we knew ourselves before we ever got married. She had gotten married to her first husband and then, you know, I lived my life, she lived hers.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And Curtis, that was a different question. You're not concerned that she has two failed marriages?

[Curtis]

Well, I know the reasons for both of them. From what?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

From the, from the husbands or just from her?

[Curtis]

Well, just from her, to be honest with you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Do you think that's enough objectivity to give you the full story?

[Curtis]

Perhaps not. Because the, the situation that I'm feeling is. Is probably leading to the point of an even second question that you would probably ask me on. Are you sure you got your eyes open on this one? But the first husband's passed away and it wasn't. He. He passed.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, that's not a divorce.

[Curtis]

Yeah, yeah. Passed after they divorced, though.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Oh, but that's not reason. That's not the reason they divorced.

[Curtis]

No. No. There was some physical abuse going on in that scenario. From what she told me, I, I didn't witness it. Didn't know. Didn't know the gentleman. Be honest with you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And the second divorce.

[Curtis]

The second divorce started during some tragedy that she had with the loss of a daughter. Not his daughter, the first husband's daughter.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Right.

[Curtis]

And at same time that was happening, there was a friend, a co worker of hers that helped her through that time. He, he wasn't this second person wasn't an emotional support. They had lacked some intimacy. She. From what she said for a year prior to the divorce.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Enough, enough. Curtis, how can I help you today? The reason that you called.

[Curtis]

Well, it. This third person in this scenario supported her for. Through the rest of her divorce and then after for a year. And she thought that perhaps she would be, you know, maybe spending time with him. As it turned out, that didn't work out. From reasons she said he just kind of was aloof about it, that she was being kind of teased along with other relationships that he was having that I come into the picture, we start, you know, getting to getting along. Well, there was a scenario where she then shows me at an event. We were at that. Oh look, so so and so got a hold of me again. I'll tell you later. And it was just a text, I guess him having second thoughts of not pursuing this with her earlier. And then about a week later, midnight bathroom break, I noticed a pop up on her phone. And I don't feel happy about what I did, but it said something to the point where he still cared for her. So, you know, I morally kind of did the wrong thing by checking her phone and found out that there was a couple of other text messages that alluded to the fact that he cared for her, that he sent her.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. Did she respond to any of these texts, sir?

[Curtis]

Not that, not that I'm aware of. I just saw those few texts and. But she did bring it up.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

If you saw a few texts of his, you saw no response from her, Correct?

[Curtis]

Correct.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Curtis]

Which is good. I felt okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

But what is the problem you're having now? What is it?

[Curtis]

Well, well, I think there is stuff that's either she's deleting that happens. The fact because did bring it up. She, she. I said, well, this gentleman's been in your life emotionally for a period of time, couple years or so since you're loss. And I would hate to have you not feel comfortable telling them things. But at the same token, I didn't want it to be in a romantic sense like he perhaps doing it. So something I kind of accuse her, something you're doing is maybe alluding it to that. So I kind of just feel that she's still reaching out to her. And I've told her, I said I don't want you feeling you have to reach out to him emotionally.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, but what, what can I help you with?

[Curtis]

Well, I just don't know if I. I should just be happy with what the relationship is even though I know she's still reaching out to him and I don't want to demand that she does pre Covid.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How do you know she's reaching out to him? You only described his text to her, so now I'm confused.

[Curtis]

There was text then later that she had showed me innuendos that he sent again about a month later saying hey, I got an idea.

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[Curtis]

Well, I'm sure there's more to them than just he.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Based on your current experience with her hiding things and dangling things, do you still think that the demise of two marriages were exactly as she described them? Or maybe she was responsible for something in there?

[Curtis]

I think the latter is an accurate assumption.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, well, back off. You don't have to dump her, but back off. Don't be sleeping over there. Don't be having sex until you feel comfortable. This woman is really being what she implies she's being with you.

[Curtis]

Right. And I don't want to cross the bounds of, like, reaching into her privacy either by checking her phone and all that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Curtis, you already know that she's playing a little footsie behind the scene. You already know that. You described it to me. So once you know that, tell me why you hang around. Come on. Not only are you close to retiring, you're closer to death than not. Don't waste time.

[Curtis]

Good point.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

By the way, how old are you that you think you're close to retirement?

[Curtis]

I'm 60.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're going to retire at 60 and do what, till 94?

[Curtis]

No, I have. I have started late with family, so I have a couple people to get through college over the next five years or so.

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