My Husband Has Relapsed

Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode Title: My Husband Has Relapsed
Date: July 30, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Missy

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger takes a call from Missy, a listener facing the painful reality of her second husband’s relapse into drug addiction. Missy, who lost her first husband to probable drug-related health issues, finds herself in a repeated pattern with another partner suffering from substance abuse. Dr. Laura offers her signature brand of tough love, challenging Missy to acknowledge her choices, prioritize her children, and break the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Caller’s Background and Present Struggle

• Missy, age 39, details a history of two marriages:
  • First husband: 16-year relationship, recurring drug abuse issues, two children together; he died of a pulmonary embolism potentially linked to his drug use.
  • Current husband: Met through church shortly after first husband’s death; also a recovering addict, now repeatedly relapsed within last six months.
• Missy expresses feeling “shell shocked,” alone, and emotionally vulnerable.

Notable Quote:

“I started going back to church and I met my current husband. He come into my life when I had nobody to rely on and ... saved me pretty much. I mean, besides the Lord.”
(Missy, 01:54)

2. Dr. Laura Identifies a Pattern

• Dr. Laura challenges Missy’s choices, bluntly stating she’s repeated the same mistake by marrying another addict despite past pain.
• Dr. Laura’s central argument: Missy chose her new husband for emotional support rather than sound judgment.

Notable Quote:

“You just made the same mistake twice. You’re married to another addict. I’m sure your kids are not overjoyed with you with this.”
(Dr. Laura, 03:29)

3. Assessing Impact on the Children

• Dr. Laura raises concerns for Missy’s children (ages 19 and 12), emphasizing they now face instability for a second time due to parental addiction.

Notable Quote:

"I feel so bad for them. They lose a daddy and gain another addict.”
(Dr. Laura, 09:54)

4. Personal Accountability vs. Externalizing Blame

• Dr. Laura admonishes Missy for attributing her predicament to God, insisting she take responsibility for her decisions:
  • “Don’t throw God under the bus.”
  • "You got desperate. You didn’t get help in the right places. He schmoozed you and you didn’t care.”

Memorable Moment:
Dr. Laura forcefully interrupts any attempt to externalize responsibility:

“No, don’t do that. Don’t throw God under the bus again ... No, you made another mistake.”
(Dr. Laura, 04:06)

5. Action Steps and Setting Boundaries

• Dr. Laura pushes Missy to end the relationship:
  • Applauds decision to ask her husband to leave the home
  • Urges Missy to obtain a divorce and focus on her children
  • Advises against seeking romantic relationships in the near future

Notable Quote:

"Now get an attorney and get a divorce. No, you get an attorney and get a divorce and pay attention to your kids and forget dating."
(Dr. Laura, 08:04)

6. Addressing Trauma and Patterns

• Missy reveals she’s sought therapy, questioning whether unresolved issues from her first marriage affect her current relationship.
• Dr. Laura affirms that unprocessed resentment and anger are indeed part of the pattern.

Notable Exchange:

• Missy: “Am I, you know, holding things against this husband?”
• Dr. Laura: “Yes. Yes, you are. You’re holding against him that he’s also an addict. Yes.”
  (10:20–10:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura’s Tough Love:

  “You got the guts to do that? Or are you just going to whine, complain, and throw God under the bus?”
  (Dr. Laura, 04:43)

• On Emotional Support vs. Practical Help:

  “Generally, when people get a divorce, people don’t come to do their lawn. You call a plumber to fix the pipe ... but that’s also another excuse.”
  (Dr. Laura, 08:48)

• Reiterating Responsibility:

  “There’s nothing you can do after that to justify that foolish move. Sorry, Nothing. You put your kids through it the first time and now you’re putting it through the second time. There’s no excuse for that. They’re counting on you.”
  (Dr. Laura, 09:29)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:34: Missy joins the call, summarizes her story
• 03:15: Dr. Laura interrupts to address repeated mistake
• 04:06: Dr. Laura rebukes blaming God for situation
• 07:26: Missy asks about hope for her husband’s recovery; Dr. Laura dismisses as irrelevant to immediate priorities
• 08:04: Dr. Laura encourages legal action and putting children first
• 09:44: Dr. Laura emphasizes children’s needs over Missy’s personal choices
• 10:20: Discussion of unresolved resentment and the impact on current marriage
• 10:48: Missy commits to taking Dr. Laura’s advice

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Episode Takeaways

• Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of breaking cycles, self-accountability, and placing children’s needs first when addiction is involved.
• She argues that emotional needs or loneliness should not justify remaining in or repeating destructive relationships.
• The episode is a direct, challenging call to action for anyone experiencing similar situations: take responsibility, seek practical solutions, and prioritize your family’s well-being.

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For further reflection:
This episode is a classic example of Dr. Laura’s tough-love style—direct, uncompromising, with a deep focus on family protection and personal responsibility. For listeners who haven’t experienced similar issues, it offers insight into the painful cycles of addiction in families and the courage required to break them.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day, brought to you by my new sponsor, Angel. Angel is a streaming platform built around stories that uplift stories about courage and sacrifice and faith and family. If you've been looking for entertainment that reflects your values, check out angel. Go to angel.comdrlora Entertainment you can feel good about. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM triumph and connect with me [e-mail] Missy, welcome to the program.

[Missy (Caller)]

Hello.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Hi, how can I help you?

[Missy (Caller)]

Can you hear me?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yes, ma', am, I can.

[Missy (Caller)]

I just was scrolling on my XM and I was looking for a Christian channel and this is how I got here. I'm kind of a little shell shocked right now, but. But yes, my problem is, is I. This is. I'm 39 years old. This is my second marriage. My first husband passed away. I had dealt with. I was with him for 16 years. Dealt with him doing drugs off and on, constant battle, constant battle. I had two kids by him. He passed away about five years ago. We don't know if it was related to his drug use, but I have a feeling he had a pulmonary embolism in his lungs and so it there that didn't, you know, help the situation. Anyway, fast forward. He passes away. Probably about six months after he passes away. I started going back to church and I met my current husband. Now I'm gonna try not to cry. He come into my life when I had nobody to rely on and I met him there and saved me pretty much. I mean, besides the Lord. Besides the Lord, but, you know, was there for me. That was almost five years ago too. And now within the last six months, he's had repeated relapses himself because he was a prior drug addict. Whenever I met him, he had had several, you know, quite a. About three years of.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Missy, Missy, Missy. What do you want to do with having made the same mistake twice?

[Missy (Caller)]

I don't want to. And.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, you just. You did already.

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Hey. You just made the same mistake twice. You're married to another addict. I'm sure your kids are not overjoyed with you with this.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah, they're not happy at all. No.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And that doesn't matter to you because he saved you. So the Lord wasn't enough saving. You had to make a bad choice? Come on. Well, that's like throwing the Lord under a bus wasn't enough.

[Missy (Caller)]

I never guess I really thought about it that way. I felt like the Lord had given him to me.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, don't do that. Don't throw God under the bus again. I'm not foolish. God is foolish. Let's blame it on God. No, you made another mistake. You got desperate. You didn't get help in the right places. He schmoozed you and you didn't care. And your kids are probably disgusted with you at this point.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So you got to repair this mistake. Stop being married to an addict. Take care of your kids and yourself better.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You got the guts to do that? Or are you just going to whine, complain, and throw God under the bus?

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Yeah.

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[Missy (Caller)]

I just didn't know my direction. I understand. What you're saying is. Do you believe that there is help for somebody like that?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I don't care if there is help. He's an addict. Ongoing. Nothing is changing. You're hurting your children. You don't have a future with him. It doesn't matter if you throw. Could it be? Is it possible? How about could it be? That's just excuses for not getting out of your second mistake.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah. And that's how I feel. I have made him actually leave the home.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Good. Now get an attorney and get a divorce. No, you get an attorney and get a divorce and pay attention to your kids and forget dating.

[Missy (Caller)]

Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

He saved me. Do you realize you said that to me? He saved me. And you weren't talking about God.

[Missy (Caller)]

Well. Well, I meant in the sense of I had so many people that I had, you know, come to me after my first husband died. I'll help you. I'll be there for you. And they weren't. I mean, when my water lines froze up, he come and fix them. He mowed the yard. He did the things he took.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, generally, when people get a divorce, people don't come to do their lawn. You call a plumber to fix the pipe.

[Missy (Caller)]

No, I meant my first husband died.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I know, I know.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah. And I can do those things myself.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I can't come and fix your plumbing. I know nothing about plumbing. I would have said, here's a number of a plumber. So don't tell me people didn't make suggestions. But that's also another excuse.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah, well, he told you.

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[Missy (Caller)]

Am.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You told me. Ma', am. You told me that you knew he was an addict. He told you he was an addict.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There's nothing you can do after that to justify that foolish move. Sorry, Nothing. You put your kids through it the first time and now you're putting it through the second time. There's no excuse for that. They're counting on you.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

How old are they now?

[Missy (Caller)]

One's 19 and one's 12.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I feel so bad for them. They lose a daddy and gain another addict.

[Missy (Caller)]

Yeah. And I just, you know, I had sought therapy because I had not worked through a lot of the problems with my first husband. And I was like, am I, you know, holding things against this husband, you know, and things like that?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yes.

[Missy (Caller)]

Whatever it comes down to.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yes. Yes, you are. You're holding against him that he's also an addict. Yes. Huh. Absolutely correct that.

[Missy (Caller)]

Resentment and anger. Yes, a lot of things. And that's what. Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And that's why. And that's. And that's why you don't do it again.

[Missy (Caller)]

Okay. Well, I believe that you were a very wise lady, so I'm gonna take your advice, and I hope so.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Your kids are counting. Your kids.

[Missy (Caller)]

I don't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Your kids are. I give up. Your kids are counting on you. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform,

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