My Husband Wants to Skip Our Daughter's Wedding

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: "My Husband Wants to Skip Our Daughter's Wedding"

Date: November 10, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest/Caller: Stacy

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Episode Overview

This episode features a candid and emotionally charged call between Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Stacy, a mother distressed by her husband's refusal to attend their daughter's wedding. The discussion spirals into themes of family estrangement, parental values, enabling, and the importance of standing by one’s principles as a spouse and parent—particularly when confronted by difficult family dynamics. Dr. Laura offers her blunt advice and probes Stacy about her motivations, challenging what it truly means to be a "matriarch."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Dilemma: Family Conflict & the Wedding

• Stacy calls in because her husband doesn't want to attend their daughter’s wedding. The daughter has lived with her fiancé for several years in California, far from Stacy and her husband in the Midwest.
• The core conflict: Stacy's husband thinks their daughter has treated him poorly and doesn’t want to support the wedding, while Stacy feels “obligated” to attend for the sake of familial harmony.

Notable Quote:

"My husband does not want to attend our daughter's wedding."
— Stacy (01:27)

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2. Clashing Personalities and Estrangement

• Stacy describes her daughter as having become difficult after college, citing a long-standing argument when the daughter refused to help her father with a Facebook request.
• Dr. Laura quickly characterizes the daughter's attitude:

"When did your daughter turn into a bitch?" — Dr. Laura (03:48)

• Stacy admits her daughter has not apologized for her behavior or shown remorse, though she feels her daughter has "turned a corner." Dr. Laura contests this.

Notable Insights:

• Dr. Laura rejects armchair diagnoses like "narcissist" and insists on concrete examples of disrespectful behavior.
• Dr. Laura is categorical: improvement requires ownership and amends, not just superficial civility.

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3. Values, Enabling, and "Matriarchy"

• Dr. Laura forcefully challenges Stacy's willingness to support her daughter financially and emotionally for a wedding, despite the daughter's long-term cohabitation and treatment of her parents.
• Dr. Laura and her co-host press Stacy on the duties of a parent, especially as a wife:

"How could you be that superficial when you're a mother, when you're a matriarch, when you're supposed to be standing with your husband for morals, values, principles, and ethics?"
— Dr. Laura's Co-host (08:34)

Notable Quotes:

"You are obligated for morals, values, principles and ethics not to kiss your creepy daughter's ass. You got your obligations all mixed up."
— Dr. Laura (09:53)

"Your husband is standing on values, you're standing on 'I don't want my daughter mad at me.' ... Doesn't matter what she does to you or your husband ... You just don't want to be disconnected from your daughter."
— Dr. Laura (09:57)

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4. Peer Pressure, Social Perceptions, and Difficult Choices

• Stacy admits her primary concern is not how she feels, but how it "looks" if she and her husband don't attend the wedding.
• Dr. Laura quickly identifies this as selfish and shallow, challenging Stacy to reframe her priorities.

Memorable Moment:

"It's all about you again. It's all about you again. I don't need to know the rest of it. It's all about you. It's not about what's right. It's not about good parenting. It's not about honoring your husband. It's just all about how people ... are going to look at you. Holy cow, woman. That is superficial."
— Dr. Laura (13:32–13:55)

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5. Resolution: Taking a Stand

• After intense questioning and some tough love, Stacy admits the truth of Dr. Laura’s points and says she’ll apologize to her husband and support his decision to skip the wedding.
• Dr. Laura’s co-host outlines a clear, value-driven course of action:
  • Stacy should inform her daughter that neither parent will attend due to the daughter's actions and lack of accountability.
  • Explain what could be done in the future to repair the relationship.

Important Segment:

[15:30] "Part of this, after you deal with him, is you're going to call your daughter and say, 'Not coming to the wedding. And neither is dad. And this is why. And this is what you could have done to make it better. That's a matriarch.'" — Dr. Laura's Co-host

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6. Emotional Moments: Support and Closure

• The episode climaxes with a virtual "hug," where Dr. Laura and her co-host express empathy for Stacy after the difficult conversation.
• Dr. Laura's co-host expresses pride in Stacy’s turnaround:

"I'm proud of you. I am so proud of you ... No, honey, that's not what you're doing [supporting him]. You're joining him in the right decision."
— Co-host (17:04, 17:12)

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Key Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:48 | Dr. Laura | "When did your daughter turn into a bitch?" | | 08:34 | Co-host | "How could you be that superficial ... when you're supposed to be standing with your husband for morals, values, principles, and ethics?" | | 09:53 | Dr. Laura | "You are obligated for morals, values, principles and ethics not to kiss your creepy daughter's ass. You got your obligations all mixed up." | | 13:32 | Dr. Laura | "It's all about you again. It's all about you again. ... It's not about what's right. ... It's just all about how people are going to look at you. Holy cow, woman. That is superficial." | | 15:30 | Co-host | "You're going to call your daughter and say, not coming to the wedding. And neither is dad. And this is why. ... That's a matriarch." | | 17:04 | Co-host | "I'm proud of you. I am so proud of you ..." |

---

Notable Moments

• Tough Love Advice: Dr. Laura pulls no punches, using frank language to cut through Stacy's attempt to mediate at the expense of her husband's relationship and principles.
• Virtual Hug & Support: Emotional closure as the hosts offer Stacy warmth and affirmation for her willingness to change.
• Stacy’s Shift: The episode concludes with Stacy resolved to apologize to her husband and take a stand with him, prioritizing marital unity and values over superficial social concerns.

---

Takeaways

• Parental and marital unity are paramount when confronted with disrespectful adult children.
• Enabling vs. support: Parents can love their children without condoning or rewarding poor behavior.
• Moral clarity and personal integrity should be prioritized over appeasing others or maintaining appearances.
• Difficult family decisions are often the most meaningful ways to assert values and foster long-term respect.

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This episode is a prime example of Dr. Laura’s signature style—direct, value-driven, and unapologetically honest—offering listeners actionable insights for complex family dilemmas.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day. Sponsored by Native Path Collagen. The collagen I take daily to support healthy joints, skin, bones and gut. Go to getnativepath.com drlaura for free shipping and a special bundle deal at a fraction of the retail. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me [e-mail] Stacy, welcome to the program.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Hello.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Hello, Stacy. All right, who's giving you aggravation?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Tell me.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Everyone. No.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, I hope I don't add to it. So tell me what's going on.

[Caller (Stacy)]

My husband does not want to attend our daughter's wedding.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

This is his bio daughter.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And he's unhappy with what?

[Caller (Stacy)]

The thing that. Well, her and her fiance, they just got engaged this year, but they've been living together for I think like four years, four or five years. And it's going on two years that they've been living out in California. We live in the Midwest. And he does not feel. He thinks she's a narcissist. He does not.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, I'm the only one around here who can throw that word around. So don't tell me what anybody who doesn't have a license is imagining. Just tell me what behaviors, what you've.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Had to deal with.

[Caller (Stacy)]

So when she graduated college. My husband has a temper. They got in an argument and he yells and.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, the guy's doing. You need more information? He has a temper. Does he have an out of control temper or it's a reasonable temper.

[Caller (Stacy)]

It's. It's reasonable. It's just he doesn't say things the way you would like to hear them and neither do I.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

All right, just a second. I've heard that for 50 years on this show. All right, but take me back. They had a fight about what?

[Caller (Stacy)]

He asked her. She. Her degree Was in media and a neighbor of ours.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Hell do you do with that?

[Caller (Stacy)]

Well, she's got a good job now. It's not in media but she's doing really well for herself. And anyways, so he asked her to do something on Facebook and she said no because he asked her.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I'm not getting enough information. He asked for her help with something he couldn't figure out.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Correct. On Facebook. It was for a neighbor and she's like I don't have the time for this. No, I'm not going to help you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

When did your daughter turn into a bitch?

[Caller (Stacy)]

College.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's understandable these days.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay, so I have three daughters as well. So anyway.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, I'm not. I'm not going to her wedding either. I'm just telling you that right now.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Don't forget it.

[Caller (Stacy)]

So she decided to move out. Didn't tell him. Bye. Told me that it's just too much.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

She's a bitch.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I got it.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

She went to college and became. I understand.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I've watched that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Heard that.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Yeah, enough.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I'm hoping with Turning Point that'll turn around a lot.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yeah. So.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Because those kids are not bitchy to their parents.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Right? So she. I feel she's turned a corner. Like she's a lot better than what she was. There's better.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Better. Is she remorseful? Has she come and taken responsibility for being a bitch? Has she pointed out then she has not turned any freaking corner.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And I hope your husband refers refuses to pay for a wedding for a four or five year shack up who's.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

A bitch to him.

[Caller (Stacy)]

So yeah. Well anyways I'm so I just got back and so the thing that set this off.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm sorry, you just got back from what?

[Caller (Stacy)]

From California. Helping her to plan the wedding.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

And you didn't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You were that superficial? Are you really? She can treat her parents with this kind of disgust? Your man with such disdain. Never take responsibility for it. Never have true remorse. Never try to repair it. And you're spending money and time on her wedding after being a shack up for four years.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I'm ashamed of you. I mean that.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I understand.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I'm ashamed of you.

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[Caller (Stacy)]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I love you dearly, Stacy, but I'm ashamed of you. How could you be that superficial when you're a mother, when you're a matriarch, when you're supposed to be standing with your husband for morals, values, principles, and ethics?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

She's been an unpaid whore for four.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Years, she's been a bitch to your man, and she gets to have a wedding. Why be decent as long as you have a mother with two boobs that still remember milk?

[Caller (Stacy)]

I just want everyone to get along and I'm trying to appease.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, you know what Chamberlain wanted to.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Do that with Hitler. Peace at all costs.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Even servitude and concentration camps, all costs until Winston Churchill said, yeah, no. Now what?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I hope you're not going to the wedding either.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I don't know. That's why I'm calling.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I feel obligated that I have to go.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You are not. You are obligated for morals, values, principles and ethics not to kiss your creepy daughter's ass. You got your obligations all mixed up. Your husband is standing on values you're standing on. I don't want my daughter mad at me. I don't want to be disconnected from my daughter. Doesn't matter what she does. Doesn't matter what she does to me or my husband or how she leads her life.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I just don't want to stay disconnected.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If the whole society.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

And unfortunately, I think most women do respond like you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

But if the entire society did that.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

What would we have left? When parents did that? That wasn't rhetorical.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I know.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I really want an answer.

[Caller (Stacy)]

It's. It's difficult, right? It's very difficult.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

So what?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Getting through high school was difficult.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Getting through four years of college was difficult.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Getting through six years of graduate school was difficult. Starting to work in radio was difficult.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I mean, there' hardly a thing I've.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Done that wasn't difficult.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

And what's your point?

[Caller (Stacy)]

My point is they don't know what to do.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You're not a stupid woman.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I know. I don't want to.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's right.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I understand.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay. Then know that you're a crappy mother.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

And not a very good wife.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Because you're mostly worried about your feelings and your needs. Then what's right and wrong? And what is your moral obligation as a matriarch?

[Caller (Stacy)]

I don't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're not just somebody's mother.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

You're a matriarch. And you're not standing up to the task. Your husband is standing up to patriarch, and you're letting him do it alone. Love, honor, cherish.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

All blown.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Oh, I sure got passionate on that one.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yeah, I. I don't think it's. I'm wanting.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, we're done. We're not.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

You can't want them anything.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

You'Re going to do. I don't know why you called, because.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I don't know why you thought in.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Your wildest dreams that I would have supported you. Not if you've listened to the program for more than 20 minutes, no.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I know.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If you came on here with your husband. Well, I'm giving you an honest.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

And it makes no difference to you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I just want them to get along and everything. To be all better. Which means you want your husband to eat shit.

[Caller (Stacy)]

That's what he told me.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Not for your daughter to take responsibility.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Men always get this short shrimp here. Wish he could listen to this call. Wonder how he'd think about you. Come on. He already knows this.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

He already knows this.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Yeah. How? Do you think this changes how he feels about you? Or does that not matter? Only how she feels about you matters?

[Caller (Stacy)]

No, it's. It's even worse than what you're saying. I. I'm more concerned about how it looks. Right. I don't want to whom.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

How what looks?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

To whom.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Wait a minute.

[Caller (Stacy)]

How.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Oh, I see. It's all about you again. It's all about you again. I don't need to know the rest of it. It's all about you. It's not about what's right. It's not about good parenting. It's not about honoring your husband. It's just all about how people are.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Going to look at you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Holy cow, woman.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

That is superficial.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Whoa.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Ah.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I'm exhausted.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I'm sorry. Okay?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I. I wish I had the magic to change your mind. You already did learn to resp.

[Caller (Stacy)]

You did you?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Did you already want your daughter to.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Respect you, your husband to feel bonded.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

To you, and you to feel proud of yourself.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I'm going to apologize to him.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Good.

[Caller (Stacy)]

It's going to be hard.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

That's what makes it all the more valuable. Don't you see? Things that are easy don't have much value. He's going to understand what you had to do inside your soul. And that's going to make him love you more.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Did you already spend a lot of money on this wedding? Just say yes or no. You don't have to tell me how much.

[Caller (Stacy)]

No.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Good. Part of this, after you deal with him, is you're going to call your daughter and say, not coming to the wedding. And neither is dad. And this is why. And this is what you could have done to make it better. That's a matriarch. We're not coming. This is why. And this is what you can do eventually to make it better.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Can I hug you?

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yes, please.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Come here.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Come here.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Let's hug. Just put your arms around. I'm doing.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm putting my arms around.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

There's a space where your body is. I don't know how big you are, but there's a space. Hug, Hug, Hug.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Are you hugging because I'm hugging?

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yes, I'm hugging myself. Yes.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

You are not hugged. By me, sweetheart.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

Use it well.

[Caller (Stacy)]

I will. I needed this. I just. I came back and I was trying to be mediator and trying to make everyone happy and I was just worried about if he doesn't come and all this stuff and. And anyways. But you're right. You're 100, right?

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I'm proud of you.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

I am so proud of you.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Going to support him in his decision.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

No, honey, that's not what you're doing. You're joining him in the right decision.

[Caller (Stacy)]

Okay, well, thank you very much for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura's Co-host or Sidekick]

You're very welcome. I'm going to remember that one for a long time.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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