Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: "My Kids Can't Forgive My Criminal Past"

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: David
Date: September 20, 2025

Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura advises David, a 57-year-old father seeking guidance on reconnecting with his estranged adult children. After serving time for a white-collar crime and enduring a difficult divorce, David grapples with his children's ongoing sense of shame and distance. Dr. Laura offers her characteristic direct, no-nonsense wisdom—centered on personal accountability, patience, and realistic expectations about family healing after betrayal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

David’s Story: Context & Struggles

[02:22 - 09:04]

• David, formerly a financial professional, admits to misusing client funds, ultimately serving 11 months in prison after attempting restitution.
• Since his conviction and prison time became public in a small Canadian community, his adult children (27 and 25) have struggled with intense shame and embarrassment.
  • "I assume full responsibility and there's no question that I did this to myself." (David, 04:14)
  • Attempts at reconnection post-incarceration have been fraught—his son is distant, and his daughter has barely communicated for four years.
• At a recent family event, David’s hope for a breakthrough with his daughter was dashed: “The wall was as up and as present as ever.” (David, 05:30)

Advice from Past Professionals & Dr. Laura’s Interrogation

[09:04 - 10:20]

• David acknowledges consulting various professionals—some suggesting that, with time and maturity, or as their mother’s influence wanes, his children might return.
  • Dr. Laura presses whether David’s ex-wife “lied” to the kids, to which David responds he has no direct evidence.
  • Dr. Laura quickly dismisses the suggestion that his ex-wife is primarily to blame:
    • “Yes. I think that was bad advice.” (Dr. Laura, 10:20)

Dr. Laura’s Core Advice—Let Go, Accept, and Rebuild

[10:57 - 13:04]

• Dr. Laura is unequivocal: David must accept that his children’s withdrawal is a consequence of his own actions, not others’ manipulation.
  • “You do not approach your children. Not now. That’s what you want, that’s what you need. You damaged them with what you did.” (Dr. Laura, 11:00)
• She emphasizes the power and persistence of shame and embarrassment for young people and cautions David not to underestimate its impact.
  • “Kids growing up, if you remember when you were growing up, one of the worst things ever was to be embarrassed. For sure, don’t underestimate that.” (Dr. Laura, 11:16)
• Her prescription:
  • Don’t pressure the children—give them space and time.
  • Focus on personal rehabilitation and positive community involvement—giving the children potentially different, better things to know about him over time.
    • Volunteer, do good deeds, become known for something positive, even if it takes a decade to reconnect.
  • “So sometime in the future you may wait 10 years and knock on one of their doors, but between now and then, let them get on with their lives. You get on with yours so that you have something positive to eventually show them.” (Dr. Laura, 11:48)
• Dr. Laura’s summary directive: “Go do the right thing.” (Dr. Laura, 12:49)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• David’s Self-Reflection:

  • “I assume full responsibility and there’s no question that I did this to myself.” (04:14)
  • “…the wall was as, as up and as present as ever.” (05:30)

• Dr. Laura’s Direct Guidance:

  • “I think that was bad advice.” (10:20, on blaming the ex-wife)
  • “You do not approach your children. Not now. That’s what you want, that’s what you need. You damaged them with what you did.” (11:00)
  • “Don't underestimate [embarrassment]. One or the other or both may come around, but back off. Leave them alone… and get past all that shame and embarrassment and discomfort and confusion.” (11:14)
  • “Give them something else to know about you. Now go do the right thing.” (12:43 & 12:49)

Segment Timestamps

• [02:18] David introduces himself and summarizes his criminal conviction, restitution, and family estrangement.
• [05:30] David recounts recent failed attempt at reconnecting at a family wedding.
• [09:04] Post-advertisement, Dr. Laura presses David about therapist’s and professionals' earlier advice.
• [10:20] Dr. Laura challenges the narratives blaming the ex-wife, labels guidance as “bad advice.”
• [11:00 - 12:49] Dr. Laura’s step-by-step guidance: don’t pursue children now, work on himself, allow for the possibility of future change.

Tone & Approach

The episode features Dr. Laura’s trademark style—direct, unsentimental, and grounded in personal accountability. She delivers empathy for David’s regret but centers the conversation on present realities and concrete steps for moving forward, not on wishful thinking or blame-shifting.

Takeaway

This episode compellingly illustrates the long-term, deeply personal impact of betrayal and public shame on family relationships. Dr. Laura reminds listeners that the path to reconciliation can be slow—or may never materialize—but that real healing starts with personal transformation, patience, and humility.