My Marriage Plans Have Been Postponed Again

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Marriage Plans Have Been Postponed Again
Date: March 26, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: David

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Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Dr. Laura addresses a call from David, a 64-year-old man struggling with complex relationship dynamics, specifically the challenges of blending families and postponed marriage plans. David seeks advice regarding conflicts that have arisen between his children and his fiancée’s children, which have strained his relationship and delayed wedding plans. Dr. Laura cuts straight to the heart of modern blended family dilemmas, warning against forced integration and providing blunt, practical advice for middle-aged couples with adult children.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

David’s Situation: Family Conflict and Postponed Marriage

[01:21–02:45]

• David explains that he and his fiancée have been together for five years (engaged for two), with seven children between them (ages 21–27 for her kids, three children for him).
• An incident at David’s cottage during his birthday led to conflict: David’s daughter confronted his fiancée about her daughter’s entitled behavior, resulting in an argument.
• The fiancée asserted, “It’s my home with your dad now,” which David’s daughter found disrespectful.

Dr. Laura’s Immediate Reaction: The Real Definition of ‘Home’

[02:45–03:14]

• Dr. Laura immediately challenges the fiancée’s claim to the cottage:
  • “How could you say it’s her home with you when you’re not married? How can she say that?” (Dr. Laura, 02:45)
  • “You’re not married. It’s not her home. I don’t care how much time you spend there or how much sex you have with her there, or how many hot dogs and hamburgers you barbecue while you’re there. It’s not her home.” (Dr. Laura, 03:03)

On Blended Families and Delayed Marriages

[03:18–04:31]

• Dr. Laura dives into the larger issue of melding adult families:
  • She highlights that blending families in midlife is inherently problematic and points to a divorce rate of about 70% in such situations.
  • “You cannot play these games when you're in your 40s and 50s and 60s, thinking you’re going to put families together and there [aren’t] to be resentment.” (Dr. Laura, 03:18)
• Dr. Laura identifies David’s hesitation:
  • “You’re a typical guy in the situation where you don’t want to piss off your woman, but you also don’t want to marry her. And you know that it’s not going to work out because the kids are not going to get along.” (Dr. Laura, 03:36)

Dr. Laura’s Prescription: Separate, Don’t Integrate

[06:20–07:26]

• Dr. Laura is firm: do not get married, and do not attempt to blend unhappy families.
• “You should not be getting married. You should not be bringing everybody together like it’s one happy family. If you want to have your kids at the house with you there, fine. At a different time, have her kids at your house with everybody else not there.” (Dr. Laura, 06:35)
• Dr. Laura’s solution for holidays and future years:
  • Holidays should be spent with one’s own children; grandchildren visits should also be kept separate.
  • “So your daughter is calling one of her daughters entitled and rude. And your girlfriend is acting like she’s entitled and got rude. It’s not going to work, so stop trying to make it work. Act like a man. Keep everybody separate.” (Dr. Laura, 07:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:45] Dr. Laura: “How could you say it’s her home with you when you’re not married? How can she say that?”
• [03:03] Dr. Laura (emphatic): “You’re not married. It’s not her home. I don’t care how much time you spend there or how much sex you have with her there... It’s not her home.”
• [03:18] “You cannot play these games when you're in your 40s and 50s and 60s... thinking you’re going to put families together and there [aren’t] to be resentment.”
• [03:36] “You’re a typical guy in the situation where you don’t want to piss off your woman, but you also don’t want to marry her. And you know that it’s not going to work out because the kids are not going to get along.”
• [06:35] On a blended-family reality: “You should not be getting married. You should not be bringing everybody together like it’s one happy family… Keep everybody separate.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment or Quote | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------| | 01:21 | David explains family structure & conflict | | 02:45 | Dr. Laura challenges fiancée’s “home” claim | | 03:18 | On the pitfalls of blending families | | 03:36 | Diagnosis: David’s indecision | | 06:20 | Dr. Laura’s final advice—keep families separate | | 07:10 | “It’s not going to work, so stop trying...” |

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Takeaway

Bluntly delivered in Dr. Laura’s classic style, this episode serves as a cautionary guide for older couples considering marriage and family blending. Dr. Laura urges listeners to reject forced narratives of “instant happy families,” instead advising honest boundaries, separation of family events, and, ultimately, prioritizing peace and respect for everyone involved. Her central message: Don’t force what doesn’t work—with families, clarity and independence are often best.

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day, brought to you by Ghostbed Sleep matters to your mood, your health, your whole day. That's why I recommend comfy American made ghostbed mattress ghostbed.com DrLaura and use the code DrLaura to save 10%. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me [e-mail] David, welcome to the program.

[David]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. David. What's happening?

[David]

I called late last year, but I don't feel like I got my whole story out. So I guess, I mean, what's happening is I'm feeling stuck in my current relationship with my fiance of five years. We've been engaged for two of the five years. She's 46, I'm 64. We have seven kids between us. She has four kids between the ages of 21 and 27. And I have two girls and a boy. An incident happened. Things were going great and, you know, an incident happened last summer at my cottage that I've owned for 20 years. And my daughters grew up there where it was my birthday. And her daughter and her son and my daughter came up for the weekend and one of her daughter was acting a little bit spoiled and entitled. My daughter took offense. She got into a big argument with my fiance saying, this is my home. You know, I feel. I feel insulted that your daughter's so rude and just leaves without saying a proper goodbye. You know, we host her here, you know, to which my fiance responded, you know, you make me feel so disrespected in this place. And it's not your home anymore. It's your home. It's my home with your dad. Now,

[Dr. Laura]

how could you say it's her home with you when you're not married? How can she say that?

[David]

Yes. Yeah, I guess because we've been together for five years. So what?

[Dr. Laura]

You're not married. It's not her home.

[David]

Yes, yes. We spend a lot of time there together.

[Dr. Laura]

You're not married. It's not her home. I don't care how much time you spend there or how much sex you have with her there, or how many hot dogs and hamburgers you barbecue while you're there. It's not her home.

[David]

That's right. Right. So.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you're saying right now, but you didn't tell her right Then I do. So I read your letter in great detail and you're this is an example of why you cannot play these games when you're in your 40s and 50s and 60s with thinking you're going to put families together and they're not to be resentment. And that's why the divorce rate is about 70%. So after reading your letter and going and listening to you now you're a typical guy in the situation where you don't want to piss off your woman, but you also don't want to marry her. And you know that it's not going to work out because the kids are not going to get along. Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop Shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies and and thanks to Walmart Pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy Delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply.

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[Dr. Laura]

So I suggest you stay. Listen, I already read your letter, so just listen, okay? I don't want you to say I didn't get my whole story out. I read your entire letter this morning.

[David]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You should not be getting married. You should not be bringing everybody together like it's one happy family. If you want to have your kids at the house with you there, fine. At a different time, have her kids at your house with everybody else not there on holidays, spend the time with your children. She should spend the time with her children. When all these children start making babies, you spend the time with your grandkids. She should be with her grandkids. So your daughter is calling one of her daughters entitled and rude. And your girlfriend is acting like she's entitled and got rude. It's not going to work, so stop trying to make it work. Act like a man. Keep everybody separate.

[David]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

That's it. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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