My MIL Doesn't Think I Should Be a SAHM

Summary

Summary of "My MIL Doesn't Think I Should Be a SAHM" – Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Episode Title: My MIL Doesn't Think I Should Be a SAHM
• Release Date: March 21, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller grappling with familial disapproval over her decision to become a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). The conversation delves into marital dynamics, in-law relationships, and the challenges of asserting personal choices within a tight-knit family structure.

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Caller’s Dilemma: Pursuing the SAHM Lifestyle

Initial Contact

At [00:46], a newly married caller reaches out to Dr. Laura, expressing concern about her mother-in-law's (MIL) opposition to her desire to be a stay-at-home mom:

Caller: "Hi Dr. Laura. I have... I'm recently married and the topic of kids is coming around my mother."

Clarifying the Situation

Dr. Laura seeks to understand the caller's background and previous discussions about children:

Dr. Laura [00:56]: "I mean, you married a man. You had not talked about kids before? Seriously?"

The caller clarifies that she and her husband have discussed having children:

Caller [01:07]: "We talked about it. We absolutely did."

Dr. Laura probes further to uncover specifics about their plans:

Dr. Laura [01:07]: "How old are you? How old is your husband?"

Caller [01:23]: "25 and 29."

Dr. Laura [01:26]: "Either one of you married? Divorced. Kids before?"

Caller [01:31]: "No."

The conversation uncovers the couple's intentions regarding family size and child-rearing methods:

Dr. Laura [01:40]: "Did you talk about raising your own children or sticking them in daycare where they're not loved all day?"

Caller [01:56]: "I want to be a stay at home mom."

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Addressing the Mother-in-Law’s Disapproval

Confronting Familial Opinions

The caller reveals that her husband's mother disapproves of her decision to be a SAHM:

Caller [02:44]: "So his mother has a problem with it."

Dr. Laura responds sternly, challenging the caller's concern over her MIL's opinion:

Dr. Laura [02:48]: "This is your marriage, your man, your kid. And I'm serious. So what?"

She emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the immediate family over extended relatives’ opinions.

Analyzing the Husband’s Family Dynamics

As the caller elaborates on her MIL’s involvement, Dr. Laura warns of potential long-term conflicts:

Dr. Laura [07:01]: "If you had called me before the wedding... I would have suggested you not marry him because a lot of young women don't understand what a mama's boy is going to bring when his mother has full reign to make comments about things that are not her business."

Providing Strategic Advice

Dr. Laura advises the caller to develop a strong sense of self and resilience:

Dr. Laura [07:21]: "You better get a big spine and not think you have to acclimate to them. You might need a big spine."

She underscores the necessity of standing firm in her decisions to maintain marital harmony and personal well-being.

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Dr. Laura’s Insights and Conclusions

Emphasizing Personal Responsibility

Dr. Laura reiterates the caller's right to choose her role within her family:

Dr. Laura [06:28]: "You don't have to get into a lengthy discussion. Not putting my kid where he's not going to be loved all day. He's going to be in my arms. That's it."

Predicting Future Challenges

Acknowledging the caller's predicament, Dr. Laura anticipates ongoing struggles with her MIL:

Dr. Laura [06:39]: "And I suspect you're going to have a lot of trouble with her over the future decades, so you're probably going to have to call me back again several times."

Final Recommendations

In her closing remarks, Dr. Laura urges the caller to maintain strength and prioritize her immediate family's needs over external pressures:

Dr. Laura [07:48]: "Hope you have one. I know in my career I've talked a lot of women out of marrying such men. Very tight family. Doesn't want to go against the family."

She provides her contact information for further support:

Dr. Laura [07:50]: "My number, 1-800-375-2872."

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers robust support and practical advice to a woman facing resistance from her mother-in-law over her choice to become a stay-at-home mom. She emphasizes the importance of personal agency, marital solidarity, and the need to establish boundaries with extended family members. Dr. Laura's no-nonsense approach empowers listeners to prioritize their family's well-being and navigate complex familial relationships with confidence and integrity.

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For more advice and daily discussions, tune into Dr. Laura Schlessinger's live radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111, weekdays from 2 to 5 PM Eastern Time.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Elle welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura. I have. I'm recently married and the topic of kids is coming around my mother.

[Dr. Laura]

You mean before you.

[Caller]

Woohoo.

[Dr. Laura]

I mean, you married a man. You had not talked about kids before? Seriously?

[Caller]

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. We talked about it. We absolutely did.

[Dr. Laura]

Did you both. A few more questions. A few more questions. Okay, I like to ask questions, so stay with me. Tolerate my idiosyncrasy of asking questions. How old are you? How old is your husband?

[Caller]

25 and 29.

[Dr. Laura]

Either one of you married? Divorced. Kids before?

[Caller]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, when you talked about kids, did you talk about I'd like 30, I'd like four.

[Caller]

I talked about maybe two or three. You know, if we could, if we could swing it.

[Dr. Laura]

Did you talk about raising your own children or sticking them in daycare where they're not loved all day?

[Caller]

Oh, so this is what this is about. I want to be a stay at home mom.

[Dr. Laura]

Ma'am, I asked you. Woo hoo.

[Caller]

Woo hoo.

[Dr. Laura]

I asked you a question. Please answer it. Did you also talk about raising the kids or putting them in daycare where they're not loved all day? Before you were married, did you have this discussion?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

And what was the conclusion of the discussion between you and your husband?

[Caller]

If we can afford it, let's do it.

[Dr. Laura]

So you didn't say let's not have kids until we can afford to take care of them? It was let's have kids and if we don't have enough money, we'll dump the kid in daycare to not be loved all day. Is that correct?

[Caller]

No. No, no, no. That's not it at all. I want to be a stay at home mom no matter what.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. Okay, now tell me your question.

[Caller]

So his mother has a problem with it. So what?

[Dr. Laura]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not. And so what? And I mean that you're 25. You're married to a 29 year old. His mommy disagrees because she was not home with her kid. So she doesn't want to watch you do the right thing when she didn't. I'm guessing. And you care about her opinion? Why would you care about her opinion? This is your marriage, your man, your kid. And I'm serious. So what?

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Caller]

You.

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[Caller]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't have to get into a lengthy discussion. That's it. Not putting my kid where he's not going to be loved all day. He's going to be in my arms. That's it.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

And I suspect you're going to have a lot of trouble with her over the future decades, so you're probably going to have to call me back again several times.

[Caller]

She is quite involved, let me tell you. They're very involved in their very nuclear family. I didn't grow up that way, so it's a little. It's a little bit of an adjustment, to say the least.

[Dr. Laura]

You may not want to adjust to that. See your mama's boy. Yeah, you're going to be calling me a lot. If you had called me before the wedding, I would have, all giggles aside, I would have suggested you not marry him because a lot of young women don't understand what a mama's boy is going to bring when his mother has full reign to make comments about things that are not her business. You better get a big spine and not think you have to acclimate to them. You might need a big spine.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Hope you have one. I know in my career I've talked a lot of women out of marrying such men. Very tight family. Doesn't want to go against the family. No. Okay. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast, of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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