My Son Doesn't Call Me Dad

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "My Son Doesn't Call Me Dad"

Episode Information:

• Title: My Son Doesn't Call Me Dad
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: January 18, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In the episode titled "My Son Doesn't Call Me Dad," Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages in a heartfelt conversation with a caller struggling with his adult son's reluctance to address him as "Dad." This discussion delves into themes of acceptance, familial relationships, and personal responsibility.

Caller’s Dilemma

Caller Background: The caller, a father of two adult sons aged 25 and 21, expresses concern over his strained relationship with his older son, who has recently moved to Brooklyn to live with another man.

Key Concerns:

• Acceptance of Sexual Orientation: The father admits to feeling unsettled about his son's homosexuality.
• Lack of Emotional Connection: The son refers to him by his first name instead of "Dad," signaling emotional distance.

Notable Quote:

"I feel bad."
— Caller [01:52]

Dr. Laura’s Guidance

Addressing Underlying Feelings: Dr. Laura encourages the caller to confront his feelings about his son's sexual orientation directly. She emphasizes the importance of honesty and openness in rebuilding their relationship.

Key Advice:

1. Acknowledge the Issue: Dr. Laura advises the caller to have a candid conversation with his son, expressing his struggles with accepting his son's sexuality while reaffirming his love and desire to reconnect.

   Notable Quote:

   "You need to sit with him and say point blank into his face, I had, and probably still have a hard time with the fact that my son is gay. However, I love you, I miss you, and I'm going to be more open about the situation."
   — Dr. Laura [07:24]

2. Rebuild the Relationship: She stresses that continuing to distance himself does not alter his son's sexual orientation and that he has the choice to restore their relationship.

   Notable Quote:

   "And not talking to your kid didn't change anything. And you lost all that time with your son, so let's not lose any more time with your son."
   — Dr. Laura [08:03]

3. Be Honest About Feelings: Dr. Laura advises against pretending to be entirely comfortable if he isn't, suggesting that honesty fosters a more genuine and lasting connection.

   Notable Quote:

   "You don't have to say you're totally cool with it when you're not. The truth is always better."
   — Dr. Laura [08:46]

Encouragement for Reconciliation: Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of taking proactive steps to mend the relationship, highlighting that time lost cannot be regained but can be compensated for through sincere efforts.

Conclusion

The episode underscores the significance of unconditional love and acceptance in parent-child relationships, especially when facing challenging dynamics such as differing sexual orientations. Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides compassionate yet straightforward advice, empowering the caller to take meaningful steps toward reconciliation and emotional healing.

Final Notable Quote:

"I'm glad he's giving you a second chance. You're fortunate."
— Dr. Laura [09:23]

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Listeners seeking guidance on similar familial challenges may find Dr. Laura's insights both practical and empathetic, encouraging open dialogue and personal accountability as pathways to strengthened relationships.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, Dr. Laura. I've been listening to you for a long time.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So I have two boys. One of them's 25, one of them is 21. So I haven't had a great relationship with the older 25 year old.

[A]

Why is that? And, and why is that?

[B]

He just moved up to Brooklyn and I'm actually going to see him next.

[A]

Month, but no, why have you not had a good relationship with him? And I don't think it has anything to do with Brooklyn.

[B]

He's living with another guy. I don't know if that has a whole lot to do with it, but.

[A]

Well, you would know what's in your mind and heart. So do you have a problem with him being gay? You can say the truth here. Doesn't. Doesn't help you not to.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it feels bad.

[A]

So does that mean you're ready to be more accepting that he's gay?

[B]

I mean, I don't really have a choice, right?

[A]

Yes, you do have a choice. You can continue having no relationship with him. That is your choice.

[B]

Yeah. So he finally started.

[A]

I have a question to ask you. Did. Does. Did you not having a good relationship with him cure him of being homosexual? Did it?

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

You mean he's not gay anymore?

[B]

No, he still is, but.

[A]

Well, then it didn't cure it, did it? Why did you say maybe? Are you understanding my questions?

[B]

Yes, ma'am.

[A]

You punished him by having no relationship with him. Did it change his being gay? The answer is no. Would you like to have a relationship with your son even though he's gay? Is the relation. Is your answer yes or no?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. How can I help you do that?

[B]

Well, I've been trying to reach out to him and be more. Talk to him more, but. So now when he texts me or calls me, he calls me by my first name. He doesn't call me dad.

[A]

Why? Because you haven't acted like one.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

You are correct. But I mean, so now when he reached out to me, he calls him by my first name instead of dad, so.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know how to solve that.

[A]

I can tell you how to. Would you? You don't have a relationship to strain when you get there. You need to sit with him and say point blank into his face, I had, and probably still have a hard time with the fact that my son is gay. However, I love you, I miss you, and I'm going to be more open about the situation.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

You got to give him something.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And not talking to your kid didn't change anything. And you lost all that time with your son, so let's not lose any more time with your son.

[B]

Okay? All right.

[A]

Okay. The first thing you need to say is something like that. Don't just talk about the weather and how he doesn't call you dad. Talk about what happened and how you're changing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you don't have to say you're totally cool with it when you're not. The truth is always better. I'm not totally. I don't know if I ever will be. But I love you and I miss you and I want us to be part of each other's lives. So I'm just going to be more open about it. If you say that to him or something extremely close or even better, you have a good opportunity then to have a relationship that you will value for the rest of your life.

[B]

Okay? Thank you.

[A]

You're very welcome. And I'm glad he's giving you a second chance. You're fortunate. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[C]

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