My Son Is Lazy!

Summary

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Dr. Laura Call of the Day – “My Son Is Lazy!”

Date: September 9, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Anya

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Episode Overview

This episode focuses on a call from Anya, a concerned mother struggling with her 18-year-old son's lack of responsibility at home. While her son performs well as a plumbing apprentice, he fails to uphold basic household expectations. Dr. Laura offers her signature blunt and direct parenting advice, focusing on setting firm boundaries and the need for parental authority—particularly emphasizing the role of “alpha” parenting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Problem: A "Lazy" Son (01:37–02:50)

• Anya’s Situation:
  Anya and her husband have an 18-year-old son excelling at work but disregarding three basic family rules:

  • Be ready and outside on time when picked up for work.
  • Keep his room and bathroom clean.
  • Shower daily.

• Son’s Admission:
  When asked why he doesn’t comply, the son admits:
  “He actually admitted that he was lazy.” (02:46, Anya)

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2. Dr. Laura’s Assessment: The Need for Firm Parenting (02:50–04:04)

• Alpha Male or Not?
  Dr. Laura immediately cuts to the family dynamic:
  “Is your husband an alpha male or a limp dick?” (02:50, Dr. Laura)

• The Role of Fathers:
  She stresses a true Alpha father doesn’t “try”—he lays down clear, non-negotiable rules:
  “Alpha males don’t try. What they do is say you will do these three things or you will move out.” (03:04, Dr. Laura)

• Parental Boundaries:
  If the son prefers to be “lazy,” that’s allowed—but under his own roof, not his parents’.
  “He can be dirty and all this kind of stuff in his own place...” (03:21, Dr. Laura)

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3. The Ultimatum: Implementing Consequences (04:13–05:16, 06:26–10:21)

• Anya’s Husband’s Approach:
  Despite claiming her husband is an alpha, Anya admits:
  “His response last night to my son was, ‘We don’t want to kick you out, so you need to do these things.’” (04:19, Anya)

• Dr. Laura’s Response:
  Dr. Laura is critical of this weak stance:
  “You got a limp dick for a husband. Sorry. You got to tell your husband tonight that you don’t want to show disrespect, but he’s wrong and you’re not going to permit it.” (07:27, Dr. Laura)

• The Clear Message:
  Dr. Laura scripts a new ultimatum:
  “Son… you’re outside when you get picked up, which means you’re ready in advance. You keep this room in our home, clean and neat. You take a shower every day. The first day you don’t do one of these, you’re out in a week.” (07:55, Dr. Laura)

• Increasing Maternal Authority:
  She insists Anya must adopt the alpha role if her husband won’t:
  “So you’re going to have to be the alpha woman, okay?” (08:39, Dr. Laura)

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4. Delivering the Message: Tone Matters (08:43–10:21)

• Being Taken Seriously:
  Anya notes her son laughed when she confronted him.
  Dr. Laura emphasizes:
  “Get in his face and say it the way I just said it to you.” (08:48, Dr. Laura)

• Setting the Consequence:
  “You’re to be ready outside and picked up… If you don’t do that, you have six more days to get out of my house or I’ll put you out. It’s all in how you offer it.” (08:52–09:13, Dr. Laura)

• Repetition for Emphasis:
  “Listen up, kid. This is 1, 2, and 3. I’m repeating them. 1, 2, and 3. You don’t do them, you’re out in six days. I’m giving you six days just to find a place, or I’ll put your stuff out the door. And don’t go crying to anybody, including Dr. Laura. It won’t work.” (10:04, Dr. Laura)

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5. Final Thoughts: The Burden of Parenting (10:24–11:23)

• Alpha Parenting:
  Dr. Laura’s bottom line:
  “Got to be alpha parents. That’s what I should be saying. Are you folks alpha parents?... That’s how you get ratty, lazy, twitty kids. Somebody’s got to be Alpha. And if you women don’t marry an alpha dude, you’re sort of stuck doing it yourself.” (10:24–10:45, Dr. Laura)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura (02:50):
  “Is your husband an alpha male or a limp dick?”

• Dr. Laura (03:04):
  “Alpha males don’t try. What they do is say you will do these three things or you will move out.”

• Anya (04:19):
  “We don’t want to kick you out, so you need to do these things.” (on husband’s approach)

• Dr. Laura (07:27):
  “You got a limp dick for a husband. Sorry. ...You’re not going to permit your son to become a limp dick lazy bum.”

• Dr. Laura (08:39):
  “So you’re going to have to be the alpha woman, okay?”

• Dr. Laura (09:13):
  “It’s all in how you offer it. If you offer it, you’re not obeying the rules, and we’re very upset with you, and you said you would. Then they don’t listen. Just like a dog when you teach it to sit. Sit. Sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. ...Of course the dog is going, up yours. You sit.”

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Key Segment Timestamps

• 01:37 – Anya introduces her son's issues at home.
• 02:46 – Son admits he’s “lazy.”
• 02:50 – Dr. Laura questions Anya about her husband’s masculinity.
• 03:04–03:30 – Dr. Laura explains how alpha males set boundaries.
• 04:19 – Anya shares husband's hesitant approach.
• 07:27 – Dr. Laura criticizes weak parenting.
• 07:55 – Dr. Laura drafts the ultimatum for Anya.
• 08:48–10:04 – Instructions on delivering the message effectively.
• 10:24–10:45 – Final commentary on alpha parenting.

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura delivers her classic tough-love counsel, urging Anya to establish strong parental boundaries and insist upon respect and responsibility from her adult son. She starkly contrasts “alpha” and “weak” parenting, ultimately advising that clear, non-negotiable consequences—and the courage to enforce them—are the most effective path forward.

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Transcript

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[Caller (Anya)]

Thanks Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you. What can I help you with?

[Caller (Anya)]

So me and my husband have an 18 year old son. He's first term apprentice in plumbing. He's doing well there, but he's not doing very well at home.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

In what way?

[Caller (Anya)]

He doesn't follow three rules we have for him.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And what are the three rules?

[Caller (Anya)]

The three rules is he's to be outside when someone picks him up. He's getting picked up for work. He's to be outside and ready. He is to have his room clean and bathroom clean and he's to shower every day.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And which one of these rules does he not follow through on?

[Caller (Anya)]

All three of them.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And when you've asked, hey kid, how come you don't do the three rules? What does he say?

[Caller (Anya)]

He actually admitted that he was lazy.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Got it. Okay. Is your husband an Alpha male or a limp dick?

[Caller (Anya)]

He's an alpha male.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Then why hasn't he handled this?

[Caller (Anya)]

He's tried.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, Alpha males don't try. What they do is say you will do these three things or you will move out. See, they believe an alpha male father more than they'll believe a mother who. Who will go, well, maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit more. So an alpha male dad would have laid down the law and that would have been it. Okay, so tell him to lay down the law like an alpha male father. Doesn't matter if this kid says he's lazy. I don't care if he's lazy. He can be dirty and all this kind of stuff in his own place. He can rent a room somewhere in somebody's apartment or house. He can do whatever. He can get a bunch of guys together and do something stupid. He can live in his car. It doesn't matter. You need to parent him. And at this point, it needs a strong father to just lay it down. As of today, you will do these things or you're out in a week.

[Caller (Anya)]

Okay, we gave him two weeks, but I think a week is good.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Whose? We gave him two weeks. What did you actually say?

[Caller (Anya)]

So when you asked me if he was alpha male, my husband or Olympic, I want to say that he's an alpha male, but his response last night to my son was, we don't want to kick you out, so you need to do these things.

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[Caller (Anya)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So it's his decision. You tell him, do you understand this? And he'll say, I understand it, but you know, I shouldn't have to. You know, da da, da, da da. And you got no, this is it. So you're going to have to be the alpha woman, okay?

[Caller (Anya)]

He actually laughed at me when I told him so. He doesn't take me seriously.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, get in his face and say it the way I just said it to you.

[Caller (Anya)]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're to be ready outside and picked up your attack. Keep your room and bath clean, shower each day. If you don't do that, you have six more days to get out of my house or I'll put you out. It's all in how you offer it. If you offer it, you're not obeying the rules, and we're very upset with you, and you said you would. Then they don't listen. Just like a dog when you teach it to sit. Sit. Sit. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. You ever see people do that in public? Of course the dog is going, up yours. You sit.

[Caller (Anya)]

I will try, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, no, no. The whole point is you have been trying, and that's why you're failing, because you've been trying rather than just damn well doing it.

[Caller (Anya)]

Okay, I will do this.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you. Get in his face. I mean, you should be about an inch and 3/4 nose to nose.

[Caller (Anya)]

Okay, I will.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Listen up, kid. This is 1, 2, and 3. I'm repeating them. 1, 2, and 3. You don't do them, you're out in six days. I'm giving you six days just to find a place, or I'll put your stuff out the door. And don't go crying to anybody, including Dr. Laura. It won't work.

[Caller (Anya)]

Okay. Thank you so much, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're very welcome. Yeah. All right. Got to be alpha parents. That's what I should be saying. Are you folks alpha parents? As she said, doesn't respect, doesn't believe her, disrespects his mother because his dad's weak and doesn't reinforce anything. That's how you get ratty, lazy, twitty kids. Somebody's got to be Alpha. And if you women don't marry an alpha dude, you're sort of stuck doing it yourself. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura or and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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