My Son is Money-grubbing

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – Episode: "My Son is Money-grubbing"

Episode Overview In the January 12, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger tackles a deeply personal and emotionally charged dilemma brought forward by a caller named Susie. The episode delves into themes of personal responsibility, parental accountability, and the harsh realities of dealing with an ungrateful adult child. Through no-nonsense advice, Dr. Laura provides Susie with the support and validation she needs to uphold her values amidst familial challenges.

Main Discussion Points

1. Facing the Consequences of Decisions

   • Susie's Dilemma: Susie explains that she and her husband decided to stop paying half of their son's wedding expenses. This decision was influenced by long-standing issues with her son's self-centered behavior, which were exacerbated by recent events.
   • Dr. Laura’s Insight: At [00:50], Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of accepting the consequences of one's choices. She states, “You don’t solve the consequence, you endure them” ([01:10]). This reinforces the idea that responsibilities and decisions must be owned without trying to mitigate or rectify the outcomes retrospectively.

2. Evaluating Familial Relationships and Personal Values

   • Son’s Actions: The son relocated to another state for a job, causing his fiancée to quit her job and move to support him. Additionally, during a critical time when Susie’s husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the son failed to show up or offer support ([02:28]).
   • Dr. Laura’s Harsh Reality Check: At [07:06], Dr. Laura bluntly addresses the son's character, stating, “I think mothers always exaggerate and beat themselves up way too much. I believe that if he was willing to have his father die and not even show up because he didn’t get money for the wedding, that he’s always been a piece of shit” ([07:11]). This unfiltered honesty serves to validate Susie’s frustration and reinforces the necessity of setting firm boundaries.

3. Maintaining Personal Integrity and Parental Authority

   • Standing by Decisions: Dr. Laura encourages Susie to stand firm in her decision to withdraw financial support, asserting that upholding personal values sometimes requires making difficult and unpopular choices ([02:52]).
   • Family Dynamics: The discussion highlights the strain such decisions place on family relationships, especially when siblings are supportive while one child chooses not to align with the family’s values ([09:08]).

4. Coping with Additional Family Stressors

   • Husband’s Health Crisis: Susie reveals that her husband is battling a brain tumor, adding another layer of stress. Despite the son's lack of support during this critical time, Susie focuses on her husband's upcoming surgery and the emotional toll it has taken on her family ([03:35], [09:05]).
   • Dr. Laura’s Encouragement: She reassures Susie by acknowledging the strength and support from Susie's other children, stating, “Remind your husband, three out of four. Damn good” ([09:45]). This serves to bolster Susie’s resolve and remind her of the strong familial support system she still has.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura on Facing Consequences: “You don’t solve the consequence, you endure them” ([01:10]).
• Dr. Laura on Parental Realism: “I think mothers always exaggerate and beat themselves up way too much. I believe that if he was willing to have his father die and not even show up because he didn’t get money for the wedding, that he’s always been a piece of shit” ([07:11]).
• Dr. Laura on Family Support: “Remind your husband, three out of four. Damn good” ([09:45]).

Conclusions and Takeaways Dr. Laura’s forthright approach provides Susie with the clarity and confidence needed to maintain her stance against her son’s entitlement and lack of empathy. The episode underscores the importance of upholding personal values, even when it leads to familial discord. It also highlights the necessity for parents to recognize and address dysfunctional behaviors in their adult children to preserve their own well-being and the integrity of the family unit.

Final Thoughts For listeners navigating similar familial challenges, this episode serves as a powerful reminder that setting boundaries and maintaining personal integrity are crucial steps in fostering healthy relationships. Dr. Laura’s unwavering support and candid advice offer a blueprint for handling difficult family dynamics with strength and compassion.

Additional Information To become a Family member and access more of Dr. Laura’s insightful advice, visit DrLaura.com. Her daily radio program airs exclusively on SiriusXM Triumph 111, providing listeners with consistent guidance on parenting and family issues.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Susie welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I have a dilemma. A question. We pulled the trigger and did this and I was just listening about always. You always have a choice and there's consequences. You are so right. And we're facing the consequences right now to our decision. My husband and I.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop for a moment. Stop for a moment. That's it. You don't solve the consequences, you endure them. That's where you got your freedom from. You got your freedom to give the answer you wished to give. The consequence is something you now live with. You don't try to solve the consequence.

[Caller]

You're right. You are so right.

[Dr. Laura]

If somebody's pissed off, let them be pissed off. If you're feeling bad, feel bad.

[Caller]

But that's it.

[Dr. Laura]

There's nothing more to do. That's the point. You don't keep agonizing. You made the choice and now you live with the consequence. Shrug your shoulders and go. I'm willing to pay the price because I didn't want to do this.

[Caller]

The question is though, is it was over my son's wedding and we had originally a year and a half ago when he got engaged, we stepped forward and said we would pay for half the venue and the rehearsal dinner.

[Dr. Laura]

Is all of this in an attempt to change my mind?

[Caller]

No, but okay, go ahead.

Go ahead.

[Dr. Laura]

Son's wedding. You said you'd pay half and now what?

[Caller]

Well, the future daughter in law ended up My son got transferred to another state for a job. The future daughter in law quit her job in the state that they had originally lived in and moved down there and they're shacking up. I know you always say that if they shack up.

[Dr. Laura]

If you made the decision not to pay for the wedding anymore, I totally support that. If it feels bad and somebody's pissed with you, that's a consequence you have to roll with for the sake of your values.

[Caller]

Well now. Okay, that's one part of it. The other part is his dad. My husband has a brain tumor. He originally we went in to have it repaired last week and the doctor had to cancel. So he goes in a week from today to have it removed. Our son knows about this. He was in town the weekend that my husband was supposed to have it and didn't come to see him. Didn't call him.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, and your son is a piece of shit. And you knew that before you offered to pay half of the wedding. You knew already he was a self centered piece of shit. So don't tell me you didn't know that. Curling up on the couch for a movie is one of my favorite ways to end the day. Lily's always right there with me. And we have a new addition to our movie nights. The fluffiest pretty rosewater pink Lola blanket. Lola blankets are unbelievably soft double sided faux fur blankets with a huggable stretch that molds to your body. Lola blankets come in a beautiful array of colors and three different sizes so you can find just the right fit for your family. They even offer weighted blankets for better sleep and relaxation and super cute knotted faux fur pillows. With thousands of five star reviews, Lola blankets are the must have upgrade your home and comfort deserve. So go to lolablankets.com use my code DRLAURA at checkout for 40% off. An incredible discount just for you my listener. What are you waiting for? Go to lolablankets.com today and experience the life changing softness for yourself.

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I think you're right Dr. Laura.

[T-Mobile Representative]

He.

[Caller]

He's always been a good kid and I think he just. When you live with kid you start.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't think he was always a good kid. I think mothers always exaggerate and beat themselves up way too much. I believe that if he was willing to have his father die and not even show up because he didn't get money for the wedding, that he's always been a piece of shit. You just wouldn't acknowledge it. No way does a good person ever do that. Thank you.

[Caller]

I needed you to say that. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

He's true. He's true to what you've always known. He hasn't gotten better. He's still a shit.

[Caller]

And when you quit giving them money, then you're nothing in their eyes and that's terrible. In his eyes and that's terrible. And that's on him. You're right. You are so Right. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura]

Very well.

[Caller]

That I did the right thing. And know that I did the right thing on this.

[Dr. Laura]

You stood by your values and that was unacceptable to your shitty son.

[Caller]

Right. My husband and I listened to you and he adores you, too. And we have just been going back and forth with us and we finally.

[Dr. Laura]

Made a decision to make. No, no. All you had to do is acknowledge the truth to each other. He's a shit and he has been for a long time. And we ignored it, we denied it, we tried to work around it. No more. So there's nothing to noodle about. Once we look at the truth, then there's no noodling. Not all kids we raise beautifully, turn out good.

[Caller]

Right. You do your best and pray for and hope that everything works out. And sometimes it just doesn't.

[Dr. Laura]

That's correct. So how is your husband's brain right now?

[Caller]

He goes in a week from today.

Oh, I see.

We're praying that. Yeah, he might. He was supposed to go in a week ago and the doctor had to cancel. He was sick and so poor. My poor husband has to wait another week. But we, of course, we want the doctor in good health to work on that brain. Yeah, we're, you know, the other where we have four children all together, adult kids. So the other three are very, very supportive. And this one just isn't. And I. It broke my heart to see my husband. You could just see the hurt in his eyes.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, remind your husband, three out of four. Damn good.

[Caller]

Thank you. And you've got me. I keep telling him that I have his back. We got this, so. So thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Just remind your husband that we've been in denial for a long time about the fact he's a shit. So let's not be sad over it. Let's be grateful we have three who are delightfully loving my number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Caller]

Sweetheart, what about this one?

Um.

[Dr. Laura]

Nah, fam, that's a little sus.

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[Dr. Laura]

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