My Son Is So off Track It Scares Me

Summary

---

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: My Son Is So off Track It Scares Me
Air Date: October 2, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Caller: Nicole

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, a concerned mother named Nicole calls Dr. Laura seeking guidance about her almost 16-year-old son’s troubling behavior. Nicole details her discovery of vape pens and increasingly explicit sex toys in her son’s possession, sharing her deep anxiety and confusion over how to handle the situation. Dr. Laura offers her trademark no-nonsense advice, emphasizing family dynamics, the emotional repercussions of divorce on teenagers, and concrete steps for intervention.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Context: Family Background & Recent Issues

• [01:54-02:24] Nicole is a 46-year-old single mother, divorced for 11 years, with two children: a 14-year-old daughter and a nearly 16-year-old son.
• Co-parenting: Son spends roughly equal time in both households under a mutually agreed new parenting plan.
• Recent discoveries: Nicole found a vape pen in her son's backpack. He explained he uses it to help control his emotions and sleep. Later, she also found a male masturbator, a torso sex doll, and a vibrating dildo.

2. Nicole’s Approach So Far

• [02:24-04:36] Nicole describes approaching her son calmly with printed information when she found the vape pen. She notes they discussed emotion regulation and alternatives to vaping.
• Conversations about Sex: After finding the sex toys, Nicole initiated talks with her son about hormones, masturbation, sex, and respect for women.
• Feeling overwhelmed, Nicole now seeks advice after discovering escalating behavior.

3. Access to Sex Toys

• [04:36-05:01] Dr. Laura questions how Nicole’s son can purchase such items. Nicole reveals he earns money doing chores for his grandfather and claims to buy sex toys in person at stores that allegedly don’t ask for ID.

Dr. Laura [04:36]: "Is he getting the money for all these things? And where is he going to buy these sex toys?"

4. Dr. Laura’s Advice:

• [08:24-08:52] After a brief (off-air) check on regulations, Dr. Laura advises Nicole to report the store that sold sex toys to her minor son to the police.

Dr. Laura [08:52]: "I think you need to turn in the store to the police. That’ll at least cut off his supply."

• [08:57-09:45] Dr. Laura explains that, while not exclusive to divorced families, such off-track behavior is more common in children navigating "the loss, the rejection, the sense of abandonment, the confusion, the annoyance" from divorce and dual households, even if co-parenting is amicable.

Dr. Laura [08:57]: "It’s not unusual for kids to be a little more off track in dealing with their emotions after a divorce because of all the feelings they go through. ...it hits kids differently at different times."

5. Therapy as the Next Step

• [09:47-10:35] Dr. Laura firmly recommends a marriage and family therapist (specifically an MFCC). She emphasizes that both parents, and possibly the children, should participate because the family is still the foundational system:

Dr. Laura [09:47]: "You’ve got to find a marriage and family therapist because MFCC is marriage, family, and child. ... It’s specific training about children and family dynamics. ... You and your ex really need to see a marriage, family, child therapist because you still are a family. And it is the most powerful form of counseling."

• She suggests starting therapy with just Nicole and her son, to avoid embarrassing him in front of his sister.

6. Summing Up the Son’s Situation

• [10:36-10:59] Dr. Laura reassures Nicole that, despite her best efforts, the emotional volatility, confusion, and sexual curiosity of a 16-year-old boy—compounded by family stress—can drive him toward risky or compulsive coping mechanisms.

Dr. Laura [10:53]: "You did a great job. It's just that your kid is 16 year old male who's angry, confused, and horny. And horny is another drug. ... Basically, he's drugging himself to take away the vape. He went to sex toys. It's all the same reason you go to that. He'll find something else."

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On divorced parenting challenges:

  Dr. Laura [08:57]: “It’s not unusual for kids to be a little more off track… after a divorce because of all the feelings they go through—the loss, the rejection, the sense of abandonment, the confusion, the annoyance.”

• On professional help:

  Dr. Laura [09:47]: “You’ve got to find a marriage and family therapist… Your basic psychologist does not have that serious a training. The MFCC, that’s all it is… You still are a family.”

• On parental guilt and teen behaviors:

  Dr. Laura [10:53]: "You did a great job. It's just that your kid is 16 year old male who's angry, confused, and horny. And horny is another drug."

---

Important Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:46 — Nicole joins the call and outlines her concerns.
• 02:24 — Nicole describes her son’s behaviors and her initial interventions.
• 04:36 — Dr. Laura inquires about how the son acquires sex toys.
• 08:24 — Dr. Laura checks sex toy store regulations.
• 08:52 — Dr. Laura directs Nicole to contact law enforcement.
• 09:45 — Dr. Laura recommends marriage and family therapy.
• 10:36 — Dr. Laura sums up her advice and reassures Nicole.

---

Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Direct, empathetic, and pragmatic. Dr. Laura is matter-of-fact but supportive, urging action without blame.
• Takeaways:
  • Escalating self-soothing behaviors in teens—especially post-divorce—are often a response to unaddressed emotional struggles.
  • Parental intervention, while valuable, may not be enough: Professional family counseling is strongly recommended.
  • Cut off harmful supply sources (e.g., illegal sales to minors).
  • Maintain open communication, but don’t hesitate to involve specialists.

---

For parents experiencing similar issues:
Seek out therapists trained in family and adolescent dynamics (MFCC), monitor for legal or health risks, and remember not to internalize guilt for the complex, sometimes challenging paths teens may take.

---

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

Shoes aren't really built to last anymore. Seriously. Some footwear barely survives a season, but L.L. bean doesn't chase trends. They've been crafting quality boots for over a century. With full grain leather, durable rubber bottoms and triple needle stitching, Bean boots are meant to last and built to easily handle the great outdoors. Each pair becomes more personal, more distinctive and uniquely yours.

[Commercial Announcer]

L.L.

[Dr. Laura]

Bean boots are simply best worn. Find your [e-mail] Mint Mobile's favorite word is no. Just like a toddler contracts no monthly bills, no hidden fees, overages, bs. No no no. The benefit of saying yes to all of Mint Mobile's no's is premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month and you can bring your phone and your number with you. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mint mobile.com DrLaura that's mintmobile.com DrLora upfront payment of $45 required. That's equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Nicole, welcome to the program. Hello.

[Nicole]

Hi Dr. Lara, thank you so much for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

You're very welcome. How can I help?

[Nicole]

Okay, well I'm a third time caller and I'm so grateful for your wisdom and I, I really need your help today.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Nicole]

So I'm a 46 year old single mom.

[Dr. Laura]

My daughter is that divorced, widowed or never married?

[Nicole]

Divorced from their dad for 11 years.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Is dad in his life? Her life? Talking about a boy or girl? The dad is in his life.

[Nicole]

I have got a daughter who's 14 and I'm calling about my son who's almost 16. His dad is in his life. We recently came up in the last probably three years with a new parenting plan where my son requested closer to week on week off which he's actually eight days here and seven days over there. Yeah, and, and, and so the reason why I'm calling today is I'm having a really hard time with my son and I, I need your help to get back on track. I about a month ago I found a vape pen in his backpack and it was on a Friday and I couldn't call you. So I actually asked your AI Stacy, who was very helpful, and I approached him, calm and cool with printed information on the harmful effects, and we had a good conversation. He told me he was having trouble controlling his emotions and the vape pen was supposed to relax him and he also said it helped him sleep. So we came up with some ideas to replace that that I, I think are working. I hope we're working. A couple weeks ago, I found a male masturbator and I didn't say anything, but last week I found a, like a small torso doll, which shocked me. And I did approach him after this and we had another conversation related to hormones, masturbation, sex and, and respecting women. Today I found evidence of a vibrating dildo and I'm, I'm out of my mind and I just don't know how to approach this subject with him. He's turning 16 next week and where.

[Dr. Laura]

Is he getting the money for all these things? And where is he going to buy these sex toys? Where is he going?

[Nicole]

So he makes money working at his grandpa's house and I asked him where he's getting this and he says he can just go into one of those sex stores and buy it, but they don't ID him.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you need to find out that store. Let's see. Okay, I'm going to look it up. Give me a second. Call up the computer.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Commercial Announcer]

Getting your prescription shouldn't be complicated. That's why UnitedHealth Group is eliminating up to 25% of reauthorizations for 140 medications that treat chronic conditions like high cholesterol, hypertension and behavioral health. This will help keep patients on medications, reduce workload for physicians and pharmacists, and lower administrative costs. Discover how UnitedHealth Group is making healthcare [e-mail].

[Dr. Laura]

Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clearance Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clearance.

[Dr. Horton Advertiser]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event this Saturday, October 4th through October 19th. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event. Starting this Saturday, discover the Dr. Horton Difference at DrHorton.com Dr. Horton America's Builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know what I do without the help of my peeps here on the Dr. Laura program. Have I told you about the people I rely on at home? I'm talking about suv, my kitchen robot, who does an excellent job of keeping me fed. SUVI makes it simple to prepare gourmet meals with no prep, no shop, no cook, and very little cleanup. Just the way I like it. Thanks to built in refrigeration, my chef designed sous vide meals. Stay safely cool until I want them cooked. I just pop one in, set the schedule, let sous vide handle the rest. My sous vide's a whiz at cooking thanks to multiple modes like air fry, bake, roast, slow cook, and sous vide. Discover why I've had a sous vide in my kitchen for five years. Get your own sous vide and 16 free meals for two at sous vide.com DrLora that's s u v I e dot com Dr. Laura at Walgreens, we know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you.

[Commercial Announcer]

Our flu info in a meditation, keeping you calm, just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little, little nervous. So walk in or schedule an appointment and Walgreens will handle the rest.

[Dr. Laura]

That's the human kind of help.

[Commercial Announcer]

Walgreens vaccine, subject to availability, state, age, and health related restrictions may apply.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. Okay. Are adult sex toy stores allowed to sell to miners? I don't know. Let's find out. In most jurisdictions, sex shops are regulated by law. No. Okay. I think you need to turn in the store to the police.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

That'll at least cut off his supply.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Well, you know, I know kids can do this when their parents are not divorced, but it's not unusual for kids to be a little more off track in dealing with their emotions after a divorce because of all the feelings they go through. The loss, the rejection, the sense of abandonment, the confusion, the annoyance. Going from a different home environment to a different home environment, even though you and your ex are seem to be doing well with it. I mean, it hits kids differently at different times. My recommendation would be very severely in a positive way, and that is, do you have a good relationship with your ex? I need a yes or a no. That's it?

[Nicole]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

Even better. Even makes my case stronger. You've got to find a marriage and family therapist because MFCC is marriage, family and child. And these are. That's what my license. It's specific training about children and family dynamics. Your basic psychologist does not have that serious a training. The mfcc, that's all it is. Okay, so I think you, your daughter, your son, it might be just with your son at first, I don't want him to be embarrassed in front of his sister about some of this nonsense. But you and your ex really need to see a marriage family child therapist because you still are a family.

[Nicole]

Yes, I like to think so.

[Dr. Laura]

And it is the most powerful form of counseling. So that's my recommendation. I would get on the phone to your ex and say by the way, as a side Nicole, you did a great job. It's just that you're kid is 16 year old male who's angry, confused and horny. And horny is another drug. Okay? Basically he's drugging himself to take away the vape. He went to sex toys. It's all the same reason you go to that. He'll find something else. Although he's pretty creative. My 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Andy Cohen]

Hey everyone, it's me, Andy Cohen. Buckle up because I have a podcast called Daddy Diaries where I take my listeners on an as it happened recount of life as a daddy to two kids, dozens of housewives and the occasional fella. Listen to the Daddy Diaries to hear about my high highs and low lows of parenting, housewives, drama and so much more. Daddy Diaries available wherever you listen to podcasts.