My Son's Girlfriend Doesn't Like Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: My Son's Girlfriend Doesn't Like Me
Date: July 12, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from a listener named Christine, who is struggling with a strained relationship with her son’s wife. The central theme is navigating difficult family dynamics—specifically, when a parent feels excluded from their adult child’s life due to their partner. Dr. Laura offers her signature direct, matter-of-fact advice, focusing on accepting what can’t be changed and prioritizing well-being for oneself and other family members.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Family Dynamic and Christine’s Situation

• Christine explains she has a son who’s married with a young child, but has only met her daughter-in-law once or twice over many years (02:14).

• The initial rift traces back to a birthday incident years earlier, where the son’s then-girlfriend intervened negatively during a family dispute about missed plans ([02:14]–03:55).

• Dr. Laura asks why Christine's son became so quickly and deeply involved with someone who didn’t integrate with the family, making the point that this is not typical or healthy (02:45).

  “Why would your son be involved that deeply with a female person that he was going to marry her and all of that and not want to integrate her into the family? Why would he want to do that? That's odd.” – Dr. Laura, 02:45

2. The Role of the Protector

• Christine shares that her son has a history of emotional and mental health issues. Dr. Laura identifies the daughter-in-law as his “protector,” a role that commonly emerges in these dynamics (03:55).

• Dr. Laura asserts that the daughter-in-law is unlikely to shift her stance, as she’s committed to shielding her husband and views his family with suspicion (03:55).

  “Your son is the one with the mental problems and she is his protector...If you expected it ever to go well, that was delusional.” – Dr. Laura, 03:55

3. Accepting What Cannot Be Changed

• Dr. Laura urges Christine to accept reality and stop fixating on a relationship that isn’t likely to heal (04:28).

• She points out that endlessly lamenting the situation burdens Christine’s other children, who have to listen to her ongoing distress (05:06).

  “At some point you've got to sit back and say, I have to shrug my shoulders on this one.” – Dr. Laura, 04:34

4. The Impact on Other Children

• Christine’s other children have echoed the advice to let the situation go, and Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of listening to them ([04:59]–05:44).

• Dr. Laura presses Christine to consider how her preoccupation with her estranged son negatively affects her relationship with her other children.

• She stresses that Christine owes it to them to stop suffering and move forward (05:44), reiterating her tough-love advice.

  “You're hurting your other kids by spending all your time not letting go...Don’t you owe them something?” – Dr. Laura, 05:44

5. Steps Toward Moving On

• Christine agrees to try letting go, with Dr. Laura reinforcing the idea that sometimes, loving oneself and one’s other children means accepting sad realities (08:03).

• Dr. Laura closes with encouragement for Christine’s decision, reinforcing that this approach will help everyone involved (08:19).

  “Good. I’m proud of you. Good.” – Dr. Laura, 08:19

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Letting Go:
  “At some point you've got to sit back and say, I have to shrug my shoulders on this one.” – Dr. Laura, 04:34
• On Burdening Other Children:
  “You're hurting your other kids by spending all your time not letting go...Don’t you owe them something?” – Dr. Laura, 05:44
• On Harsh Realities:
  “Count on the other kids to make grandkids. This is a lost cause.” – Dr. Laura, 04:34
• On Acceptance:
  “If she accepts this, albeit sad about it, and the kids don't feel like they have to constantly help mommy. It helps them. It helps the relationship. And of course it helps her.” – Dr. Laura, 08:13

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Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|--------------------------------------------| | 02:14 | Christine introduces her family dilemma | | 03:55 | Mental health and protector behaviors | | 04:34 | Dr. Laura on accepting reality | | 05:44 | Impact on other children | | 08:03 | Christine agrees to move on | | 08:19 | Affirmation and wrap-up advice |

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Takeaway

Dr. Laura’s advice in this episode is frank and pragmatic: when a family relationship seems beyond repair due to entrenched dynamics (such as a partner acting as “protector” for a vulnerable spouse), sometimes the healthiest choice is letting go. The episode stands as an example of Dr. Laura’s philosophy—prioritizing truth, self-care, and responsibility toward the people who remain close, even when it means accepting difficult losses.

Listeners are reminded that focusing on the relationships within one's control can bring more peace—and that, in Dr. Laura’s words, family health sometimes means “shrugging your shoulders and not spending a lot of time thinking about it.”

Transcript

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[Christine]

Hi Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. What can I help you with?

[Christine]

Okay, so I have a son, he's married. They have a two year old little boy. They've been together for eight years. She never, I mean I've met her like once or twice. There was a little incident with my other two kids. We had a birthday planned for my son who's married to her and he, they were just dating like a couple months maybe. I don't know. It was a long time ago and he ended up last minute.

[Dr. Laura]

Why would your son be involved that deeply with a female person that he was going to marry her and all of that and not want to integrate her into the family. Why would he want to do that? That's odd.

[Christine]

It is odd, but he, he has some. He had a lot of issues for like six years and with smoking and just emotional issues. He had some issues and he met her and he just. I don't know, they just got together very quickly. But. So anyways, they canceled these plans. And my two other kids, we had. It was on Cape Cod. We, we were there without him. It was his birthday and this girl got involved when my kids, other kids sent him a message like, why aren't you coming? And she got involved in a heated, negative way. And fast forward, years forward, she. She never really came around.

[Dr. Laura]

Your son is the one with the mental problems and she is his protector. So I don't expect it to go well. If you expected it ever to go well, that was delusional. He has mental problems. She's his protector. And this is how protectors behave in those situations. So shrug your shoulders and don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. You have other kids. You're not fixing this.

[Christine]

So I'm not fixing this. That I can't see. No. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

You know, count on the other kids to make grandkids. This is a lost cause. She bought his story that you're all responsible for his problems and she's protecting him. You're going, I know you're a mother and you have breasts and you fed milk, but at some point you've got to sit back and say, I have to shrug my shoulders on this one,

[Christine]

right? Yeah, my other two kids tell me that.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, for God's sake, why don't you get off your kids backs watching you suffer all the time. Give them a break by letting this go as hard as it is, accepting that he has mental problems and she is protecting him and she has bought his story. It's over. Now. You're hurting your other kids by spending all your time not letting go because they have to keep hearing about it from you. They have to keep seeing it from you. Don't you owe them something?

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[Dr. Laura]

I know you're sad about him, but don't you owe them something?

[Christine]

Yeah, I do.

[Dr. Laura]

I mean, well, then, then pay them what you owe them. And that's not to suffer anymore.

[Christine]

Okay. All right, I'll do it.

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