My Wife Doesn't Prioritize Our Kids

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode Title: My Wife Doesn't Prioritize Our Kids
Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlesinger & SiriusXM
Release Date: July 27, 2025

---

Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a pressing issue brought forth by a concerned caller struggling with his wife’s apparent lack of prioritization towards their children. Titled "My Wife Doesn't Prioritize Our Kids," the episode delves deep into marital dynamics, communication barriers, and the balance between personal ambitions and family responsibilities.

Caller’s Background and Situation

At [00:45], Dr. Laura introduces the program and soon receives a call from a man named Logan ([00:45]). Logan, a 30-year-old, has been married to his wife since they were teenagers—he was 17, and she was 15 when they first started their life together. Over the years, they've had two children and are expecting a third. The couple has been homeschooling their kids and managing various family responsibilities.

Logan explains that his wife recently started a new business career while continuing to homeschool their children. This dual role has created scheduling challenges and dependency on external help, such as babysitters or relatives.

Core Issue: Wife Doesn’t Prioritize Kids

Logan reaches out to Dr. Laura for assistance with what he perceives as a lack of prioritization of their children by his wife. He recounts a specific incident ([01:39]) where his wife decided to take the children to his sister's workplace due to scheduling conflicts. Logan was uncomfortable with this arrangement and confronted his wife about it. Instead of a constructive dialogue, his wife became defensive ([02:12]), exacerbating the communication gap between them.

Dr. Laura’s Analysis of Communication Problems

Dr. Laura promptly challenges the caller's initial assertion of a communication problem ([02:18]). She posits that the issue may not be mere communication but rather a fundamental difference in priorities and values within the marriage. She highlights that Logan’s wife, being a "business go-getter," may inherently place career and personal ambitions above traditional familial roles.

At [03:05], Dr. Laura emphasizes that the real problem isn't just about failing to communicate but about conflicting life priorities. She states:

"That's an I don't give a shit what you think. This is what I'm going to do problem." ([03:05])

This blunt observation underscores her perspective that the root of the issue lies in the wife's unwavering commitment to her business endeavors, which may overshadow her responsibilities towards the family.

Dr. Laura’s Recommendations

Dr. Laura advises Logan to consider significant lifestyle changes to realign family priorities. At [06:56], she suggests:

"I think you need to tell her that if her plan is to continue doing all these things that you're going to quit and be dad. Be a stay at home dad." ([06:56])

She proposes that Logan take on the role of a stay-at-home father to ensure that the children receive consistent and loving attention. This shift, according to Dr. Laura, would help stabilize the family environment and prevent the kids from being intermittently cared for by extended family members.

Further Discussion and Advice

The conversation evolves as Logan reveals that he previously served as a stay-at-home dad for two years ([07:26]). Dr. Laura uses this information to highlight the cyclical nature of their roles and the underlying issues stemming from their early marriage:

"Getting married as young as you did was really stupid because neither one of you had grown into your bodies, minds and souls yet." ([08:23])

She acknowledges the challenges posed by their early union but emphasizes the ongoing obligations of raising children, which necessitate mature and cooperative decision-making.

To improve their relationship, Dr. Laura advises Logan to infuse positivity into his interactions with his wife. She recommends simple gestures and compliments to rebuild affection and mutual respect:

"Find every moment to say something positive as a compliment. This will start changing your psyche." ([08:12])

Moreover, she urges Logan to engage in open discussions about their future plans, particularly concerning his wife's business ventures and her potential desire to stay home after giving birth. At [09:44], she underscores the importance of team-based decision-making:

"Generally speaking, when mature people come together, they realize that they have to make decisions as a team." ([09:44])

Conclusion

In wrapping up the episode, Dr. Laura reinforces the necessity for Logan to adapt his role within the family to better support his wife and children. She stresses that transforming his approach to be more positive and supportive is crucial for the well-being of their family unit.

"So my suggestion is behave as though you liked her at every moment...quit your job and take care of your kids." ([08:36])

Dr. Laura's candid and straightforward advice serves as a roadmap for Logan, emphasizing personal responsibility, adaptability, and the primacy of children's needs in marital relationships.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura on Communication vs. Priorities:
  "That's an I don't give a shit what you think. This is what I'm going to do problem." ([03:05])

• Advice on Role Adjustment:
  "I think you need to tell her that if her plan is to continue doing all these things that you're going to quit and be dad. Be a stay at home dad." ([06:56])

• On Early Marriage Challenges:
  "Getting married as young as you did was really stupid because neither one of you had grown into your bodies, minds and souls yet." ([08:23])

• Emphasizing Positive Interaction:
  "Find every moment to say something positive as a compliment. This will start changing your psyche." ([08:12])

• Team-Based Decision Making:
  "Generally speaking, when mature people come together, they realize that they have to make decisions as a team." ([09:44])

Final Thoughts

This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day provides listeners with a candid exploration of marital tensions arising from conflicting priorities and communication breakdowns. Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers unvarnished advice that encourages personal responsibility and proactive role changes to foster a healthier family environment. For individuals facing similar challenges, this episode serves as a potent reminder of the importance of balancing personal ambitions with familial obligations and the need for open, honest communication within marriages.

Transcript

[Walmart Advertiser]

Look, if you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them. Transfer your scripts, refill them and have them delivered straight to you. Migraines, managed allergies, alleviated dermatology, derma delivered ding dong. Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now new delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 Logan. Welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Hello, how can I help?

[Caller]

So Dr. Laura, I'm calling today and I debated calling for several weeks now. So the like the problem I'm having is me and my wife have been together. I'm 30, my wife's 28. We have been together since we were 15 and 17. She got, she got pregnant at 15 and life just kind of life. And I took responsibility and have been with her ever since. Now we have another child and another on the way, so we'll be having three kids soon. And reason I'm calling today is I was hoping you could help me with. We have a problem communicating and I.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Don'T know what that means. Give me an example of how you have trouble communicating with her or she with you. Give me an example because I don't know what that means.

[Caller]

So yesterday we I'll give you the whole scenario. My wife owns her own business, just started a new career. My kids are homeschooled. So we always are having to find babysitters or work around our schedule. Yesterday that just didn't happen. So she was going to take the kids to my sister's work. She also owns her own business and I just wasn't okay with that. It's like, you know, if you're going to send the kids to my sisters to work, we can figure it out ourselves instead. So I approached her like that and she just gets very defensive every time.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Like I'm like, okay, that's not a problem with communication.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And explain to me how one human being, I'm good, I can do a lot of things within one day or one week. But I'm trying to figure out how I could be pregnant, taking care of two kids, starting a new business, homeschooling. I mean there aren't that many hours in the day. So this is not an issue of a problem in communication. Sounds like she comes from a family where the women are definitely business go getters and perhaps the priority of home and kids is a little secondary. So she doesn't want to be challenged. She doesn't like you saying what you're saying. Yeah, that's not a problem in communication, sir. That's not a communication problem.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

That's an I don't give a shit what you think. This is what I'm going to do problem.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And it's a lot of the.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Tell me please explain to me how she puts all that into one day. Tell me how. I don't see how it's possible starting a new business that's a full time job. So tell me how this works. Give me the hours she gets up at what time does what.

[Tremphaya Advertiser]

Are your ulcerative colitis symptoms proving difficult to manage? Tremphaya Guselcamab can help you manage the cycle of UC symptoms. At one year, many patients taking Tremphya achieved clinical remission and some patients also achieved endoscopic remission. Individual results may vary. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. Ask your doctor if Tremphya can help you manage the cycle of UC symptoms. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit.

[James Gunn]

Tremphyaradio.Com Peacemaker is back on Peacemaker, the official podcast with James Gunn. Hear exclusive insights and break down every episode starting with season one. Gunn, along with his co hosts and cast members share outrageous behind the scenes stories, talk about what's canon in the new DC universe and so much more. Season 2 premieres August 21st listen or watch Peacemaker, the official podcast with James Gunn on HBO Max, the HBO Max YouTube channel or wherever you get your podcasts.

[UPS Store Advertiser]

Class is now in session and the UPS Store is here to help you ace arriving on campus. Our certified packing experts can pack everything you need from desktops to decor. Plus, when you pack and ship with us, you get our exclusive pack and ship guarantee. Your items arrive safe or your money back. Restrictions and limitations apply. To get a 20% off packing coupon and for full details visit the upsstore.com packing.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Look.

[Walmart Advertiser]

If you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them, transfer your scripts, refill them and have them delivered straight to you. Migraines managed allergies alleviated dermatology, derma delivered. Ding dong. Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now new delivery. Not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.

[Caller]

Gets up around eight, works for about four hours. She cleans home, so she gets that done pretty fast and then usually back home by, you know, lunchtime, one o'. Clock.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Where are the kids?

[Caller]

A lot of times the kids are either with my mother or my schedule. I work like three days on, three days off.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Logan, you got if is her business doing well?

[Caller]

It's doing well enough. She's ready. She wants to because she's pregnant. She wants to stay at home. But it's doing do way better than she expected or I expected.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, she's going to give birth. Is she now going to give up the business?

[Caller]

We haven't had that conversation. She's leaning towards okay if she's not.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, you know what? She just started a new business. She's pregnant. We don't know what she's going to do when she gives birth. I think you ought to quit your job and stay home and raise the kids. The kids need to be raised by a loving parent, not shuttled around between family members. I don't think you'd like that if you were a toddler either.

[Caller]

Yeah. No.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So I think you need to tell her that if her plan is to continue doing all these things that you're going to quit and be dad. Be a stay at home dad. There are organizations which will support you. Information support. There are a lot of guys doing that because they have women who are just hell bent to keep doing zillions of things and the kids get shuffled about and the guys don't want it.

[Caller]

Yes. Yeah. And then you're almost. Yeah. And so I was a stay at home dad for the whole last two years.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, we're back to it. We're back to it.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah. That's the girl you married, sir. You cannot change the girl you married. You can only do what's best for your kids.

[Caller]

Yeah, true that. Well, and I guess my question should have been from the beginning, Dr. Laura, is if let's say that happens and I'm not being the best husband and I'm getting frustrated, how can I keep from just, you know, being from 15 to 17, we've done a lot and we failed plenty of times. I have a hard time of just remembering all the negativity. You know.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You'Re going to have to replace it with sweet. Sir, I have no magic for you. Getting married as young as you did was really stupid because neither one of you had grown into your bodies, minds and souls yet.

[Caller]

100%.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

There was so much immaturity in there, so that makes it difficult. But you keep making babies, so that brings obligations that change a lot of how you might handle things.

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So my suggestion is behave as though you liked her at every moment. Like, come behind her and give her a kiss on the back of the neck. It'll make you feel better, it'll make her feel good. It'll confuse the crap out of her, but it'll make you feel better, too. So the more. Sweetie, you look nice today. Thank you so much for making me the coffee. Or I notice you hug. Hung my stuff up for me. Thank you. Find every moment to say something positive as a compliment. This will start changing your psyche. Meanwhile, quit your job and take care of your kids. You married a woman who doesn't have that as her top priority.

[Caller]

Yeah, and she does have that. She wants. She really wants. The reason I started this new career is because she wants to go home. She wants to. She doesn't want to tell me she wants to quit, but she insinuates.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, she doesn't want to tell me she wants to quit. I'm surmising she does. Sir, does she want to stay home and still do her business? Well, I don't know. We didn't discuss that. See, you don't know what you're talking about.

[Caller]

Yeah, we haven't talked about it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah, you know, that's correct. That's why I say that's the problem in communication. That she wants to do what she wants to do and you're not going to stop her. Is going to be a factor in your marriage. Generally speaking, when mature people come together, they realize that they have to make decisions as a team.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's the hard part.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah, that sounds like what's not happening here. So do your best at being positive and take care of the kids. So ask her those questions. Do you plan to do the business? I mean, she just started it. And you think she wants to drop it already? I don't think so, but ask her, because if she's gonna drop everything and raise the kids, we're good. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval, visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the stamp. Special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Walmart Advertiser]

Look, if you've got prescriptions, the Walmart app is your place to manage them. Transfer your scripts, refill them and have them delivered straight to you. Migraines, managed allergies, alleviated dermatology, Derma delivered Ding dong. Is that your pizza? Nope. Walmart Pharmacy delivery with a refill. Switch to Walmart and manage your prescriptions in the app. The Walmart you thought you knew is now new delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.