
Hayley needs to work on staying calm when she wants to talk to her husband about his behavior. Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
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Haley
Hi Dr. Laura. I'm looking for some advice today on when I have just like normal disagreements with my husband. Arguments how to like stop from spiraling into like melodrama of he's a monster or I'm a monster or the marriage is broken, it needs to be over. I mean, all of. All of. Yeah, melodrama.
Dr. Laura
How long have you been married?
Haley
13 years.
Dr. Laura
It's just started recently.
Haley
No, I think I've always been like this, but I've just been realizing recently, oh, these arguments are normal between couples and don't need to like be the apocalypse. So now I'm trying to figure out how to shorten.
Dr. Laura
That's my job. What makes you suddenly realize this?
Haley
I'm not even sure I've My husband was in a bad mood on Sunday and he's not normally the one to like lose his temper. And that would have freaked me out, maybe even like a couple years ago. And just for some reason on Sunday my brain said people get grumpy, it's fine, it's going to be fine and just let it go. Monday morning we actually had kind of a big blow up, arguing about something about one of our kids. And normally that would have if I.
Dr. Laura
Say shush, people stop immediately. I think shush is more powerful. I didn't Hear you. I'm sorry, yeah, people don't hear Yahoo, but they always hear shush. Okay, so tell me what the problem was on Monday. Very specific.
Haley
On Monday, he criticized our 8 year old daughter. She was making herself some toast and putting some honey on it and it like poured too fast out of the jar. And so there was like a bunch of honey on the bread. And he like stopped mid sentence of something he was saying to me, broke off and said, you little honey piglet, that's way too much honey. And it embarrassed her in front of the whole family. She started crying and he, you know, hugged her, comforted her. But then he said, like, you need to not be so like sensitive. She went off to school and I said, you need to stop making comments about how much she eats, about her weight. This is going to be like a problem in the future. It's something that I struggled with with my mom and like, yes, let's teach healthy eating habits. But humiliating her in front of the family like that was not cool. And his response was kind of like, I'm sorry you have this trauma with your mom criticizing your weight, but you know, you need to not be a snowflake. Our children need to not be snowflakes. And I'm like, yeah, but you were just joking the other day about how she wasn't going to have any sausage at dinner because she already, her stomach's already big enough. Like, these comments are not cool.
Dr. Laura
What are your daughter's eating habits?
Haley
She likes food, but she's not, she's not like sneaking treats or anything. She eats a lot of fruits and vegetables. Is she overweight? No, no. None of my kids, they're like 25th percentile or lower in weight.
Dr. Laura
Well, if they're 25th percentile lower. What is he referring to when he calls her a piglet or her tummy is already big. What's his worry when there doesn't seem to be a worry? Something's missing from this story.
Haley
I think he, she is like, her body type is a little bit like rounder, just naturally. She has a very skinny sister. We both have very overweight parents. And I think he's worried about her developing unhealthy, like eating something because it tastes good, not because you're hungry and then eating too large of servings and stuff. I'm a healthy weight now, but I was.
Dr. Laura
You said that she is 25% lower. So she's, I'm not understanding what that meant. Then. Is she trim or overweight?
Haley
She's, she's normal. I mean, so when we go to, like the pediatrician and they, you know, take her measurements, her weight is like 25th percentile. That means, you know, she's below average but not like, unhealthy.
Dr. Laura
Okay, well, if this issue is ongoing, she's going to have an eating disorder. So. This is different than the call you called me about. This is not the same call. This to me is cruel behavior to a kid. Not funny, very serious. So I'm at the top of the hour. Would you be willing to hold through the break so we could continue this? Yeah, okay, I'll put you on hold. This is different than she goes into melodrama. He's being sarcastically cruel and we have to discuss this more to protect the little kid. Managing your health can be difficult, but pharmacy delivery from Walmart now makes it easier. Whether you're down with a sinus infection, have a chronic condition, or just a time crunch, choose express delivery and your meds will be at your door in as fast as an hour. Prescriptions delivered fast. Welcome to your Walmart. Excludes pharmacy processing, time restrictions, exclusions and fees apply. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear.
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Dr. Laura
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Haley
Well, I was asked if I could get my husband on the call and I was. I said that he is at work and not usually, not often accessible by phone. But also he would probably not be happy to know that I'm calling in today.
Dr. Laura
Okay. All right. You came on saying that you overreact and then you give me a circumstance where I want you to react. So I don't know how we got from one to the other, but you do not allow anybody to abuse your children. And because he came from fat parents and he may be dealing with his own girth, that kind of stuff done from a father to a daughter is very destructive. Make an appointment with that pediatrician and bring your husband in under some other guise that it's. We're discussing all her health results. Whatever. I don't care how you lie. Just get him in the room and have the pediatrician explain to him a. If she's overweight, if she has a tendency to be overweight, or it's just her shape and how being reminded by dad is very destructive. Now, in general, dumping a whole lot of honey on anything is not a good plan except if it helps your sinuses a little bit because you have allergies. But I think it's reasonable to teach children what's a good thing to do and what's not without making a point that there's something wrong with them if they do it, which means the rest of the family doesn't do it. You know, so you role model. I think it's perfectly. If you stay calm. I think what you said to him to get him to stop doing that was perfect.
Haley
And that is my struggle is staying calm.
Dr. Laura
Well, just do it. Don't struggle with it. Do it because you have more power when you stay calm. Nobody listens to a screaming woman. Nobody.
Unknown
Nobody.
Haley
How can I short circuit the anger? When it starts, you start.
Dr. Laura
You be very calmly explained. This is not appropriate. This is very hurtful. Whether it's sarcasm or you're really worried. You harp on this all the time and you're giving her a complex about it. I really appreciate you stopping because if you don't, we're going to do the thing you hate the most. We're going to go to a therapist and figure out why you won't stop. Take control. Humor. Don't yell and scream. It has no power. My number. 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval, visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.
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Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Nobody Listens to a Screaming Woman"
Release Date: May 19, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
In the episode titled "Nobody Listens to a Screaming Woman," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller's concerns about escalating arguments within her marriage, particularly focusing on interactions that affect their children. The discussion delves into effective communication strategies, the impact of parental behavior on children, and maintaining calm in emotionally charged situations.
Caller: Haley
Timestamp: [01:20]
Haley reaches out seeking advice on managing "normal disagreements" with her husband. She expresses frustration over how these arguments often spiral into melodrama, leading to extreme sentiments like viewing each other as "monsters" or contemplating the end of the marriage.
Quote:
Haley: "I'm trying to figure out how to shorten [these arguments]."
[02:15]
Timestamp: [01:49 - 06:56]
Haley recounts a specific incident where her husband criticized their 8-year-old daughter for overusing honey on her toast, leading to public humiliation. The husband’s remarks extended to mocking her sensitivity and other inappropriate comments about the child’s weight.
Key Points:
Incident Details:
The husband referred to their daughter as a "honey piglet" and commented on her consuming too much honey, causing her to cry in front of the family.
[03:18]
Daughter’s Health:
Haley clarifies that their daughter is within the healthy weight range, being in the 25th percentile, contrary to the husband's concerns.
[05:04]
Underlying Issues:
The husband’s behavior may stem from his own insecurities about body image, given that both parents are overweight.
[05:44]
Quote:
Haley: "Humiliating her in front of the family like that was not cool."
[03:01]
Timestamp: [06:23 - 08:50]
Dr. Laura emphasizes that Haley’s situation transcends typical marital disagreements, categorizing the husband's behavior as cruel and potentially harmful to their daughter’s emotional well-being. She suggests that such behavior could lead to an eating disorder if unaddressed.
Key Points:
Seriousness of Behavior:
Dr. Laura labels the husband’s comments as "cruel behavior to a kid" rather than mere melodrama.
[07:00]
Immediate Action Required:
She advises holding the call to discuss protective measures for the child, highlighting the necessity of intervention.
[07:30]
Timestamp: [10:02 - 11:48]
After a brief intermission with advertisements, Haley returns to the discussion, expressing difficulty in staying calm during confrontations. Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of composure, asserting that calmness yields greater influence and respect in such situations.
Quote:
Dr. Laura: "Nobody listens to a screaming woman."
[11:51]
Timestamp: [10:21 - 12:14]
Dr. Laura explores the psychological impact of the husband's remarks on their daughter, linking them to potential long-term issues like body image concerns and eating disorders. She advises strategic approaches to confront the husband, including involving a pediatrician to provide an objective perspective.
Key Points:
Understanding Motives:
The husband may be projecting his own insecurities onto the daughter.
[10:21]
Strategic Intervention:
Dr. Laura recommends feigning a health-related discussion to bring both parents and the pediatrician together, facilitating a constructive dialogue.
[10:45]
Modeling Positive Behavior:
Emphasizes the importance of parents exemplifying healthy communication and attitudes toward food and body image.
[12:05]
Quote:
Dr. Laura: "If you stay calm, you have more power."
[12:05]
Timestamp: [12:07 - 13:10]
Dr. Laura advises Haley to calmly but firmly address her husband’s inappropriate comments, stressing that yelling and screaming will only undermine her position. She reinforces the necessity of taking control of the situation to protect their daughter’s emotional health.
Key Points:
Calm Communication:
Dr. Laura advises expressing that the husband’s behavior is hurtful and inappropriate without resorting to anger.
[12:14]
Professional Assistance:
Suggests considering therapy to explore underlying issues if the situation does not improve.
[13:00]
Quote:
Dr. Laura: "Take control. Humor. Don't yell and scream. It has no power."
[12:05]
Dr. Laura underscores the critical need for respectful and supportive communication within the family, particularly between parents, to foster a healthy environment for their children. She reiterates that maintaining calm and addressing issues constructively can prevent long-term emotional harm to the child.
Final Thought:
Dr. Laura: "Nobody listens to a screaming woman."
[11:51]
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content portions of the podcast to focus solely on the substantive discussion between Dr. Laura and the caller, Haley.