Our Salad Bowl of a Marriage is Rotting

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Our Salad Bowl of a Marriage is Rotting"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: Our Salad Bowl of a Marriage is Rotting
• Release Date: June 1, 2025

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Introduction

In the June 1, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the complexities of blended families and the challenges that arise when multiple children from previous relationships come together. The episode, titled "Our Salad Bowl of a Marriage is Rotting," features a couple, Kelly and Kyle, who seek Dr. Laura's guidance on navigating their newly formed family dynamics.

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Guests’ Background

Dr. Laura Schlessinger opens the show by welcoming Kelly and Kyle to the program.

• Kelly: 38 years old, in her first marriage, with two sons from a previous relationship.
• Kyle: 42 years old, previously married, and has a 14-year-old son from his past relationship.

At [00:29], Dr. Laura introduces the couple and begins by inquiring about their marital history and the ages of their children.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: “How old are you folks and how long have you been, I'm assumed married?”

Kelly: “We are married. We've been married for a year and a half. I am 38. Kyle is 42.”

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Previous Marriages and Children

The conversation progresses to discuss the backgrounds of both Kelly and Kyle.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: “Any one of you married kids before any prior anythings?”

Kelly: “Yes. So Kyle has a 14-year-old son from a previous relationship. He was married once before. This is my first marriage and I have two sons from a previous relationship.”

Dr. Laura probes deeper into why Kyle and Kelly chose to marry despite their past relationships.

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Challenges from Past Relationships

Kelly shares the difficulties from Kyle’s previous marriage, highlighting issues of infidelity and toxicity.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: “How come you're not still with him?”

Kelly: “Well, lots of different dynamics to that, but mostly there was some infidelity and very. It was a very hostile, toxic relationship and it was unhealthy for the kids to be around. We he left when the kids were three and nine months old.”

When asked about realizing Kyle was a "bad guy," Kelly reflects on her younger self's decision-making.

Kelly: “I was 24 and I thought I knew what love was. And I will be perfectly honest. I wanted two children. I wanted them to have the same dad thought we could fix things. It ended up destroying things worse in. In the gist of it.”

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Blended Family Dynamics

The discussion shifts to the interaction between the children from both families.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: “How are they getting along with Kyle's kid?”

Kelly: “They get along great. They have since the beginning his son gets like they the two that get best along best are the youngest and his son. So our middle is my oldest and he's the one that we're having troubles with.”

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Issues with the Stepchild

Kelly elaborates on the behavioral issues stemming from her 14-year-old son's experiences.

Kelly: “So lately we've been having troubles with him showing respect in the home and following the rules of the household. He is very...”

Before Kelly can finish, Dr. Laura intervenes, providing her expert advice.

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Dr. Laura’s Advice

Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers a direct and no-nonsense approach to tackling the family's problems.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger:

“My advice is take all three kids and the two of you into family counseling. You are not going to fix your boy, who is reacting to all the nutty stuff that you adults do. I have said on the air for you who say you listen all the time, that until the kids are up and out, you don't date, shack up and remarry and make more babies because the kids really can't handle it very well.”

She emphasizes the importance of addressing the root causes of the child's behavior rather than treating him as an isolated issue.

“Don't put him in therapy as though he's sick. He's not sick. He's reacting to all the circumstances he's experienced, he's lost, he's angry, he's. He's confused, and he's going to wreck the household.”

Dr. Laura strongly recommends family counseling with qualified professionals, highlighting the necessity of a unified approach.

“Please take all of you to family therapy together. Because if you don't, and worse, if you send him to counseling by himself, you will regret it and regret you didn't listen to me today.”

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Underlying Issues Highlighted

Dr. Laura addresses the broader societal and personal implications affecting the child’s behavior.

“He's just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval... Tell me, really, folks out there listening, what is the kid supposed to respect?”

She underscores the negative impact of unstable family structures and inadequate emotional support systems.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger:

“His mother made two kids out of wedlock with some jerk that she dumped. And she finds this other guy who has a kid. I mean, when you write a play and you start from there, you know there's going to be problems. And what is there for him to respect?”

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Conclusion and Final Advice

In her concluding remarks, Dr. Laura reiterates the critical steps Kelly and Kyle need to take to restore harmony in their blended family.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger:

“I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Everything is fine. He's just a problem. He doesn't show respect because he doesn't have any.”

“I advise you to take my advice. Much better.”

Dr. Laura emphasizes that respect must be nurtured within the household and that professional guidance is essential for overcoming foundational issues.

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Key Takeaways

• Blended Families Require Unified Efforts: The integration of children from previous relationships can lead to complex emotional dynamics that need careful management.

• Importance of Family Counseling: Addressing behavioral issues through family counseling can help resolve underlying tensions and promote healthier relationships among all family members.

• Impact of Past Relationships: Previous marital conflicts and infidelity can leave lasting effects on children, influencing their behavior and interactions within new family structures.

• Role of Respect and Structure: Establishing mutual respect and clear household rules is crucial in maintaining order and fostering positive relationships among stepchildren.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:05]:

  “Forgive me to say this and ask this in front of Kyle, but why did you have another baby with a guy you thought was a bad guy?”

• Kelly [02:32]:

  “I was 24 and I thought I knew what love was. And I will be perfectly honest. I wanted two children. I wanted them to have the same dad thought we could fix things.”

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:41]:

  “Is that an unusual experience in the universe for a grandmother to haul off and smack a kid who has done something egregious?”

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:31]:

  “My advice is take all three kids and the two of you into family counseling. You are not going to fix your boy, who is reacting to all the nutty stuff that you adults do.”

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Conclusion

In "Our Salad Bowl of a Marriage is Rotting," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses the intricate challenges faced by blended families. Through Kelly and Kyle’s story, listeners gain insight into the importance of addressing past relationship issues, fostering respectful household environments, and seeking professional help to navigate the complexities of stepfamily dynamics. Dr. Laura’s candid advice underscores the necessity of collective effort and understanding in building a harmonious family unit.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Kelly and Kyle. Kelly and Kyle, welcome to the program.

[Kelly]

Thank you very much for having us.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And how old are you folks and how long have you been, I'm assumed married?

[Kelly]

We are married. We've been married for a year and a half. I am 38. Kyle is 42.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, any one of you married kids before any prior anythings?

[Kelly]

Yes. So Kyle has a 14 year old son from a previous relationship. He was married once before. This is my first marriage and I have two sons from a previous relationship.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

With one guy.

[Kelly]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How come you're not still with him?

[Kelly]

Well, lots of different dynamics to that, but mostly there was some infidelity and very. It was a very hostile, toxic relationship and it was unhealthy for the kids to be around. We he left when the kids were three and nine months old.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

When did you figure out he was a bad guy?

[Kelly]

Probably I would say between the two kids were born then.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Forgive me to say this and ask this in front of Kyle, but why did you have another baby with a guy you thought was a bad guy?

[Kelly]

We have had these discussions. I'm very open with Kyle. We both love your show so we listen all the time.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thank you. I just need to know a woman's thinking. I know I'm with a bad guy. So I'm going to have intercourse and make another kid. Just help me understand the thinking.

[Kelly]

You're absolutely right. I was 24 and I thought I knew what love was. And I will be perfectly honest. I wanted two children. I wanted them to have the same dad thought we could fix things. It ended up destroying things worse in. In the gist of it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So for how long have your kids known each other?

[Kelly]

For four years. And you mean Kyle's and my children?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah. So yeah. No, your kids, biologically, those are your kids. Yeah.

[Kelly]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

How are they getting along with Kyle's kid?

[Kelly]

They get along great. They have since the beginning his son gets like they the two that get best along best are the youngest and his son. So our middle is my oldest and he's the one that we're having troubles with.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, and is are your two kids seeing their own dad?

[Kelly]

They, they go every other weekend. However, my oldest, who's 14, he hasn't gone to see his dad since Christmas.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And what precipitated that decision?

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[Kelly]

There was a few instances when he was growing up that so their dad lives two hours away and he lives with his parents and there was a point in time where he was slapped by his paternal grandmother and so he this was when he was about nine years old.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Is that an unusual experience in the universe for a grandmother to haul off and smack a kid who has done something egregious. I mean, there's a difference between a smack and beatings, right?

[Kelly]

So he didn't go to his dad's, huh? Yeah, he didn't. He didn't go to his dad's for a little while after that. And then I had forced him to go back to try.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

What had he done that made grandma haul off and smack him?

[Kelly]

I honestly don't know. 100. The story that I got was that he was throwing.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Tell me 90%. I just need to know. It sounds like it would be important for you to actually know what he did. God, I would have found that out. Yeah, go ahead.

[Kelly]

He was throwing a fit over something that had happened. He was taught in school to express his feelings, to scream into a pillow. And that was part of what he was doing. And he was screaming into this pillow. And things had gotten out of control with his temper and he was smacked in the mouth to stop.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You send him to school to learn math, science, literature, and they're teaching them to scream into pillows. This is public school or private school?

[Kelly]

It's public school.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I rest my case.

[Kelly]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. Well, here we are. And how can I help?

[Kelly]

So lately we've been having troubles with him showing respect in the home and following the rules of the household. He is very.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

May I just ask you both. Excuse me for interrupting. I'm always a little bemused when people call after no marriages, kids out of wedlock, bad situations going back and forth, new marriages, new kid in the house to deal with that. Anybody is the slightest bit surprised that at least one kid is causing grief. I call it payback. My advice is take all three kids and the two of you into family counseling. You are not going to fix your boy, who is reacting to all the nutty stuff that you adults do. I have said on the air for you who say you listen all the time, that until the kids are up and out, you don't date, shack up and remarry and make more babies because the kids really can't handle it very well. And most of the time, most of the time, they act very agreeable because they're scared. They don't want to lose the last parent, don't want to be punished. They have all kinds of worries, yet there's always one who gives payback. So that's a product of all the decisions you two made. Please take all of you to family therapy together. Don't put him in therapy as though he's sick. He's not sick. He's reacting to all the circumstances he's experienced, he's lost, he's angry, he's. He's confused, and he's going to wreck the household. That's it. It's his job now to pay back the misery that he feels. So family counseling, all five of you, please. Because if you don't, and worse, if you send him to counseling by himself, you will regret it and regret you didn't listen to me today. Not a psychologist, a marriage and family therapist. After their names, it says MFCC or mft, because these people are trained to deal with this. I pray, I hope you go. I advise you to take my advice. Much better. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Everything is fine. He's just a problem. He doesn't show respect because he doesn't have any. Why should he? His mother made two kids out of wedlock with some jerk that she dumped. And she finds this other guy who has a kid. I mean, when you write a play and you start from there, you know there's going to be problems. And what is there for him to respect? Tell me, really, folks out there listening, what is the kid supposed to respect? And then he goes to school and finds out that the way you deal with something you're pissed off about is to yell and scream into a pillow. So who does he respect? You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

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